Jump to content
What to do with frozen embryos?
11 replies to this topic
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:33 PM
I posted this in another area but since what worries me most is my age I thought someone here might have some thoughts?
I have to make a final decision on what to do with 3 frozen embryos. I never imagined I would be in this position as all I originally cared about was getting pregnant. But now I have two beautiful boys 19months and 4 years, this decision is literally tormenting me and I have been thinking about it daily.
Our two DSs are from IVF and ICSI.
From the last cycle we have 3 frozen embryos. My youngest DS was a frozen embryo out of this cycle.
I had many problems conceiving with stage 4 endo. and we thought we may never have a child.
We were very blessed to have our first DS at 39 and then another miracle at 42.
We feel our family is complete and we are so blessed but I can't bear letting the other frozen embies go especially as our second DS came from this cycle.
I'm scared I'm too old to be pregnant again and I risk taking time away from my existing boys with possible illness. I was quite sick during my last pregnancy and missed precious time with my first DS.
I can't make up my mind whether to try the embies or not as I'm now 43 and should one of them work I would be 44.
We both feel very tired as our DSs are not good sleepers and our parents are too old to help out. My family think we are done and would consider us mad to even be thinking about another child.
For me I feel it is now or never to give the embryos a chance or should I just accept what my GP says, that the embryos are just a cluster of cells, and be happy with what we have?
On days when I feeling well and rested I think I should give it a go and then at other times when I'm tired and run down I think it would be crazy.
Any ideas on how to resolve this horrible indecision?
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:45 PM
I had to reply to you as I'm in a similar situation (although I'm meant to be working on my uni assignment). On our last ever cycle of IVF, the fresh transfer did not take and we were left with 3 frozen embryos. Our first frozen took and we now have a 2-yr old DS. After countless failed IVF cycle previous to this, I really didn't think we would ever get lucky again, but that was OK because I felt truly blessed. My FS was more optimistic and our second frozen took. We now have a 4-month old DD. But what to do with our third frozen embryo?
Both of my pregnancies were very hard and resulted in both DS and DD being delivered at 34 weeks. While pregnant with DD I missed DS second birthday as I was in hospital with complications. My pregnancy with DD resulted in three hospitalisations, surgery after my C-section and a 2-week stay. My OB has even told me not to try again. But I can't get the idea of number 3 out of my head. It's to the point where I have names.
For the moment we are keeping it on ice, as I just can't make a decision. Sorry that I can't give you any help, but wanted to let you know how hard being in this position actually is.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:54 PM
It sounds like you are putting this deadline on yourself. Why is it now or never?!?
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:58 PM
I'm not in your position. My last 2 frozen embryos both miscarried. If you want to try for another baby, then you could use a surrogate if you don't want to carry another yourself.
The other option giving them a chance is to adopt them out to couples who for whatever reason cann't use their own embryos.
Good luck..I hope you can resolve your problems.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 11:34 PM
I don't belong in this section, but your topic reminded me of an article I read by similar title.
It was about a few couples in this situation, although they had made their decision to definitely not have more children and they couldn't face donating the embryos.
One couple collected their embryos and "buried" them in a special spot and had a little family ceremony.
The other couple had them transferred at a time of her cycle when they knew she wouldn't fall pregnant.
I thought they were both really nice ideas for a difficult situation.
Good luck with your decision
Posted 27 April 2012 - 05:51 PM
Well I just applied yesterday to VARTA to extend my embryo storage for another 5 years (which will make it 15 years in total. Embryos made in November 2002 )
I ma 42 and have two beautiful children from this batch, an 8year old and 4 year old)
We cannot ever have children naturally and feel quite strongly that I want the 'chance' to have children to the end of my natural reproductive life. 5 years time I will be 48 years old.
The likelihood of this is remote, but feel its only fair to have the opportunity like the rest of the fertile community.
I would say to you don't rush the decision, you are an older mum but your kids are very little and it is a foggy time. just wait a few years and see how you feel.
Edited by coolbreeze, 27 April 2012 - 05:52 PM.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 06:07 PM
Forgive me if I am misunderstanding something.
Why would you advocate waiting? Isn't one option she's thinking of using the embies? I thought waiting would reduce the chances of a successful pg due to age.
I would suggest the OP has a good chat to her DP and see what he thinks. Or have a chat with her fertility specialist/OB and maybe s/he could give her some well educated advice or options.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 08:33 PM
Embryos remain statistically the same age as the day they were made.
My embryos were made at 32years old (with 32 year old eggs and older sperm 42)
The embryos are frozen and remain that age forever.
Thats why older women (plus 45) have very good outcomes with donor embryos and frozen embryos made from younger gametes (ie eggs and sperm) A uterus can support a pregnancy at any age. Some very advanced maternal pregnancies worldwide are proof of this. Most if not all celebrity pregnancies at reproductively speaking, advanced ages, (46-50 years old) are from younger donated eggs or embryos. Embryos frozen stay the same age. Unfortunately it is eggs and sperm in their natural state that age, reducing the likelihood of pregnancy in the later reproductive years from age 35 onwards, taking another dip at 40 and then in the most case declining rapidly post 43-45years old.
So yes, waiting will not reduce pregnancy rate with younger frozen embryos, so she can wait and see how she feels. I am sure the op understands this being through the rollercoaster of ivf.
Believe me, one of the very few positives to come out of ivf treatment.
Edited by coolbreeze, 27 April 2012 - 08:41 PM.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 08:41 PM
I agree there is no rush to make a decision about what to do with the embryo's - just keep them in storage for now. There are other options besides destroying or transferring anyway.
The decision about weather to try for another child is separate in a lot of ways. Disregard the fact that you have some on ice - pretend do didn't for the sake of it. Would you choose to start TTC another child this year, next year etc.? I don't think the fact that there are embryo's waiting there should influence the decision about whether another child is right for your family.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 11:20 PM
I'd keep them. We disposed of some when we thought for sure we were done. Five years later we changed our mind. It's so much more expensive now that I'm kicking myself. Keep telling myself they were 10 years frozen and the science is more advanced now. But then I'm 10 years older and not responding like I did in my 20s. Your embryos might be more valuable than you think if you decide your family is not done.
Posted 14 May 2012 - 09:41 PM
Thank you all so much for your replies. It is really helpful reading the responses and has made me feel calmer waiting longer with the decision.
I have felt time is running out because I will be 44 for this year and I also think I'm probably too old for a third child. If I was still in my 30s I would not hesitate to try them.
I don't know anyone who has had a successful pregnancy at this age and I have to admit I'm scared I'm too old to be trying for another baby.
I am totally content with the wonderful sons I have, but the problem is I feel so guilty not giving the frozen embryos a chance as well.
My DH will not consider donating the embryos and our Dr. said they need to be from a women 35 or younger to be eligible for donation.
Posted 14 May 2012 - 09:48 PM
I would love to think that i could donate mine to someone who couldnt produce their own eggs through IVF. I would love to give that gift to someone. But we are just starting with our IVF Journey and have only just started talking about that idea.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.
Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.
Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.
Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.
It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.
More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.
Lotus birthing is not all that common, but for a number of women it feels like the most natural thing to do.
Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.
More than 50 million vehicles recalled for potentially lethal airbag fault - is your car affected?
H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.
He had it all planned: a romantic proposal on a windswept beach. The whole family would be there so they'd all be able to celebrate the joyous moment together.
When our son stopped talking, our sense of loss was painful and acute.
They run their homes like domestic CEOs and work tirelessly to improve their family's social standing. And now, according to a new book, they want an annual perk from their husbands.
A widely-shared Facebook photograph of a British woman's breast has raised awareness of a more subtle breast cancer symptom.
"I'd never really failed a test - how could I fail this particularly manly test?"
New guidelines have been released, aimed at reducing children's harmful exposure to lead. But they still don't go far enough.
Chances are your toddler's behaviour is all completely normal - but here's how to tackle some common social problems.
We did sigh with joy at the arrival of a royal princess - but, mostly, we sighed with pity at the sight of Prince George being taken to meet her.
I've been in denial and I'm not too proud to beg, but it appears I must accept the fact that you have gone. I need to let you go.
The father of identical triplets born in a Texas hospital says his three daughters, including conjoined twins, are "a miracle" sent by God.
If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.
Top 5 Articles
Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.
We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.
Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.
Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.
Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.
The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.
A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.
I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.
I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.
Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.
Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.
Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.
Life On Mars
We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.
The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.
It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?
After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.
Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.
A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.
We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.
It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.
Top baby names
The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.