Jump to content
What to do with frozen embryos?
11 replies to this topic
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:33 PM
I posted this in another area but since what worries me most is my age I thought someone here might have some thoughts?
I have to make a final decision on what to do with 3 frozen embryos. I never imagined I would be in this position as all I originally cared about was getting pregnant. But now I have two beautiful boys 19months and 4 years, this decision is literally tormenting me and I have been thinking about it daily.
Our two DSs are from IVF and ICSI.
From the last cycle we have 3 frozen embryos. My youngest DS was a frozen embryo out of this cycle.
I had many problems conceiving with stage 4 endo. and we thought we may never have a child.
We were very blessed to have our first DS at 39 and then another miracle at 42.
We feel our family is complete and we are so blessed but I can't bear letting the other frozen embies go especially as our second DS came from this cycle.
I'm scared I'm too old to be pregnant again and I risk taking time away from my existing boys with possible illness. I was quite sick during my last pregnancy and missed precious time with my first DS.
I can't make up my mind whether to try the embies or not as I'm now 43 and should one of them work I would be 44.
We both feel very tired as our DSs are not good sleepers and our parents are too old to help out. My family think we are done and would consider us mad to even be thinking about another child.
For me I feel it is now or never to give the embryos a chance or should I just accept what my GP says, that the embryos are just a cluster of cells, and be happy with what we have?
On days when I feeling well and rested I think I should give it a go and then at other times when I'm tired and run down I think it would be crazy.
Any ideas on how to resolve this horrible indecision?
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:45 PM
I had to reply to you as I'm in a similar situation (although I'm meant to be working on my uni assignment). On our last ever cycle of IVF, the fresh transfer did not take and we were left with 3 frozen embryos. Our first frozen took and we now have a 2-yr old DS. After countless failed IVF cycle previous to this, I really didn't think we would ever get lucky again, but that was OK because I felt truly blessed. My FS was more optimistic and our second frozen took. We now have a 4-month old DD. But what to do with our third frozen embryo?
Both of my pregnancies were very hard and resulted in both DS and DD being delivered at 34 weeks. While pregnant with DD I missed DS second birthday as I was in hospital with complications. My pregnancy with DD resulted in three hospitalisations, surgery after my C-section and a 2-week stay. My OB has even told me not to try again. But I can't get the idea of number 3 out of my head. It's to the point where I have names.
For the moment we are keeping it on ice, as I just can't make a decision. Sorry that I can't give you any help, but wanted to let you know how hard being in this position actually is.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:54 PM
It sounds like you are putting this deadline on yourself. Why is it now or never?!?
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:58 PM
I'm not in your position. My last 2 frozen embryos both miscarried. If you want to try for another baby, then you could use a surrogate if you don't want to carry another yourself.
The other option giving them a chance is to adopt them out to couples who for whatever reason cann't use their own embryos.
Good luck..I hope you can resolve your problems.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 11:34 PM
I don't belong in this section, but your topic reminded me of an article I read by similar title.
It was about a few couples in this situation, although they had made their decision to definitely not have more children and they couldn't face donating the embryos.
One couple collected their embryos and "buried" them in a special spot and had a little family ceremony.
The other couple had them transferred at a time of her cycle when they knew she wouldn't fall pregnant.
I thought they were both really nice ideas for a difficult situation.
Good luck with your decision
Posted 27 April 2012 - 05:51 PM
Well I just applied yesterday to VARTA to extend my embryo storage for another 5 years (which will make it 15 years in total. Embryos made in November 2002 )
I ma 42 and have two beautiful children from this batch, an 8year old and 4 year old)
We cannot ever have children naturally and feel quite strongly that I want the 'chance' to have children to the end of my natural reproductive life. 5 years time I will be 48 years old.
The likelihood of this is remote, but feel its only fair to have the opportunity like the rest of the fertile community.
I would say to you don't rush the decision, you are an older mum but your kids are very little and it is a foggy time. just wait a few years and see how you feel.
Edited by coolbreeze, 27 April 2012 - 05:52 PM.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 06:07 PM
Forgive me if I am misunderstanding something.
Why would you advocate waiting? Isn't one option she's thinking of using the embies? I thought waiting would reduce the chances of a successful pg due to age.
I would suggest the OP has a good chat to her DP and see what he thinks. Or have a chat with her fertility specialist/OB and maybe s/he could give her some well educated advice or options.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 08:33 PM
Embryos remain statistically the same age as the day they were made.
My embryos were made at 32years old (with 32 year old eggs and older sperm 42)
The embryos are frozen and remain that age forever.
Thats why older women (plus 45) have very good outcomes with donor embryos and frozen embryos made from younger gametes (ie eggs and sperm) A uterus can support a pregnancy at any age. Some very advanced maternal pregnancies worldwide are proof of this. Most if not all celebrity pregnancies at reproductively speaking, advanced ages, (46-50 years old) are from younger donated eggs or embryos. Embryos frozen stay the same age. Unfortunately it is eggs and sperm in their natural state that age, reducing the likelihood of pregnancy in the later reproductive years from age 35 onwards, taking another dip at 40 and then in the most case declining rapidly post 43-45years old.
So yes, waiting will not reduce pregnancy rate with younger frozen embryos, so she can wait and see how she feels. I am sure the op understands this being through the rollercoaster of ivf.
Believe me, one of the very few positives to come out of ivf treatment.
Edited by coolbreeze, 27 April 2012 - 08:41 PM.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 08:41 PM
I agree there is no rush to make a decision about what to do with the embryo's - just keep them in storage for now. There are other options besides destroying or transferring anyway.
The decision about weather to try for another child is separate in a lot of ways. Disregard the fact that you have some on ice - pretend do didn't for the sake of it. Would you choose to start TTC another child this year, next year etc.? I don't think the fact that there are embryo's waiting there should influence the decision about whether another child is right for your family.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 11:20 PM
I'd keep them. We disposed of some when we thought for sure we were done. Five years later we changed our mind. It's so much more expensive now that I'm kicking myself. Keep telling myself they were 10 years frozen and the science is more advanced now. But then I'm 10 years older and not responding like I did in my 20s. Your embryos might be more valuable than you think if you decide your family is not done.
Posted 14 May 2012 - 09:41 PM
Thank you all so much for your replies. It is really helpful reading the responses and has made me feel calmer waiting longer with the decision.
I have felt time is running out because I will be 44 for this year and I also think I'm probably too old for a third child. If I was still in my 30s I would not hesitate to try them.
I don't know anyone who has had a successful pregnancy at this age and I have to admit I'm scared I'm too old to be trying for another baby.
I am totally content with the wonderful sons I have, but the problem is I feel so guilty not giving the frozen embryos a chance as well.
My DH will not consider donating the embryos and our Dr. said they need to be from a women 35 or younger to be eligible for donation.
Posted 14 May 2012 - 09:48 PM
I would love to think that i could donate mine to someone who couldnt produce their own eggs through IVF. I would love to give that gift to someone. But we are just starting with our IVF Journey and have only just started talking about that idea.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?
A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.
An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.
It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.
Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.
At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.
These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.
Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.
In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.
A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.
So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.
We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.
Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.
Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.
After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.
Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown.
Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.
If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.
I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.
Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.
Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.
Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study
She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.
An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.
Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?
Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.
Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?
The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.
I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.
Top 5 Articles
I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.
I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.
French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.
A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.
Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?
First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.
The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.
A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life.
Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.
Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!
If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.
Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.
When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.
The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.
Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.
Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.
Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old
The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.
I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.
Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.
Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!