Jump to content

At my wits end
DS sleep issues


10 replies to this topic

#1 KaffyViffy

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:28 PM

DS is almost 9 months and has started waking about an hour after he goes down for the night and he will scream for up two hours - regardless of what we do.  We pat him in his cot, we pick him up and rock him, we have "Sounds for Silence" by Dr Harry Zehnwirth playing all the time, we bring him out and lay with him, I will feed him (although I try not to as it's usually only been 1 or 2 hours since last feed) and it doesn't work anyway (he just started up screaming again afterward the other day).

I'm at my wits end and can't bear to go near him as he whinges most of the day - he is a whingy clingy baby just like DD was - so by the end of the day I can't bear him anymore.  I told DH tonight that if I drank alcohol I would be sloshed by 5pm every afternoon - instead I eat junk food when I can get away from the pair of them!

To make matters worse DH is out at 4:30am, comes in for dinner 6:00/6:30 and then usually goes back out for an hour or so after the kids are put to bed at 7 (DS) and 7:30 (DD).  So when DS wakes up it's me all over again until he comes inside.  I'm at the point that if he wouldn't wake up DD I'd let him scream in his cot.

He's screaming as I write this and DH is in there trying to stop it.  I have just come back from DD as he woke her up.

I don't know what else to do anymore, I used a day stay sleep school for DD and it helped and we are using all the same techniques this time.  He doesn't have a dummy BTW.

ETA: He's never gone to sleep well but at least until very recently he was going down then waking between 10pm/11pm for a feed and then between 4am/5am for a feed.  Now, after we settle him fom the screamy eriod, he wakes almost 2 hourly.

He rarely sleeps longer than an hour for day naps and it's usually a battle to get him down.

Thanks for the iron suggestion MARsmum we are going to the doctor for DD tomorrow so might ask him about that while we are there.

Edited by Isabelle Thomas, 26 April 2012 - 09:48 PM.


#2 MARsmum

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:38 PM

I went through the ringer with my DS who was a non sleeper.  I tried everything from a 5 day stay at Tresillian to surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids and still he didn't sleep!  He would either wake every hour or so through the night or have a chunk of sleep and then be awake for three or four hours during the night.  It was torture!  My last straw was having a blood test and it showed he was low in Iron.  I gave him a liquid supplement and he slept through the night that night.  It was AMAZING!  He still wakes some nights or starts the day at 5am however his sleep is completely different now that he is on an Iron supplement.  So, I would really advise having his Iron levels tested.  Apparently, when a child is low in Iron they can not produce serotonin and then can not move into the deep level of sleep.

Good luck and I hope you get some relief!

#3 Mumof1OneontheWay

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:49 PM

Maybe try and get him checked out by a chiropractor - there may be something that they can do to help. Not sure where you are located - I know a couple in Sydney if that is where you are located. My son has been seeing one since birth and we have found it very beneficial.

#4 BeachedAsBro

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:56 PM

Teething? DD has been having a really hard time lately & is only three weeks older than your son. She cut her 5th tooth today & for the first time since last week is asleep before 11pm

#5 Honeymummy

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:57 PM

Are you sure he is not teething? The waking pattern you described fits my three bubs teething pattern perfectly. Have you tried to give him neurofen about an hour before bed? And with the wingeing during the day - could it be teething also? My no two was wingey so I know what you mean.

The other thing - could you introduce a cuddly at night. Its a soft bit of blanket with a head on it. It may help him get back to sleep. If you sleep with it down your shirt for a night it will smell like you and he will find that comforting.

But seriously - it really could be the teeth. My no 3 teeths for weeks before anyting comes through.

#6 lynneyours

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:00 PM

OP - I am sure you have thought of all the following, but when DD's have been like that (screaming for hours without stopping) they have variously had:
* night terrors (DD1 used to look awake - eyes open - but wasn't actually awake at all)
* constipation/all better once she'd poo'd
* sore teeth
* getting ill
* ear ache
* PJ's hurting them

I hope the GP can help.  




#7 Tesseract

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:01 PM

I have been through the ringer with sleep issues too so I understand how hard it is to look at the situation objectively and hence formulate an action plan.

The thing that stuck me about your post is a) he is whingey and clingy all day, and b) he screams no matter what you do. If he was simply waking up often to feed/rock back to sleep I would put it down to classic sleep association issue, but the two points above indicate that it might be something else...?

So my point is: are you sure it's a sleep issue and not something else? PP mentioned chiropractor and I second this, I saw an osteo for DD and it was great (she was stuck posterior and I had a very long pushing stage during her birth, this sort of 'birth trauma' can impact their little spines).

Other things that spring to mind are food intolerances. How long has he been like this?

Eta: yes, teeth! I know people say it doesn't exist but my DD teeths for weeks and weeks before it comes through, it is such a pain! I know it is probably teeth when I finally give her baby panadol and she passes out 15-20 minutes after the dose. Have you tried giving pain killers? Does it have any impact? I'm not up for dosing kids unnecessarily, but if he is crying that much he may be in pain.

Edited by Tesseract, 26 April 2012 - 10:05 PM.


#8 lozoodle

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:05 PM

Have you tried just leaving him to it?

Both of mine went through this around the same age, and the more we went in and tried different things, the worse it got. I used to give a bit of bonjela in case teething, and then say night night and walk out again. Quick cuddle of course!

9 times out of 10 they both settled within 5 minutes. If it went on longer than that of course I would go back in there, but it never really seemed necessary.

#9 hkclaire

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:17 PM

Have you introduced any new foods recently? In particular at nights? It may be an intolerance or mild allergy?
Just an thought.
Hope things improve soon

#10 Jenferal

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:24 PM

Ear ache ? I'd get him checked out for ears at the GP. My daughter was the same and it was a middle ear infection. She never pulled on her ears like the books say either so I had no idea until she ran a temp of 39 or 40.

#11 KaffyViffy

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:26 PM

Thanks ladies for all your great suggestions, they have given me food for thought and have made me sit and think about what we are doing.  As you said Tesseract when you are in it it's hard to keep thinking and form a plan.

Have just fed him to sleep after 1h30m of screaming - last ditch effort having tried everything else we could think of (and DH had been there patting and rocking for about 45m woth no success).  Cross fingers he has gone down without a whimper tonight.

Chiro: we have seen a chiro from birth till about 4 months when he was all good and they suggested to come back when walking but I might go earlier, call tomorrow and see when I can get an appt.  They did wonders for DD and DS early on.

Teething: DH keeps saying that and we have tried panadol about 30m before bed but then he still wakes at that hourish mark and his first three teeth cut with no real discernible change to behaviour.  He does have one under his gum - his fourth.  We have tried Bonjela on his gums but it hasn't helped either.  If his tooth cuts through and it all stops I'll know I was wrong.

Night terrors (DD1 used to look awake - eyes open - but wasn't actually awake at all) - I have heard of thi sbut what can we do to calm him if it is that and how can we be sure?

Constipation/all better once she'd poo'd - he is very regular, poos 3 or 4 times a day, starting with a huge soft one every morning!!

Getting ill - no other signs he is ill and again the panadol seems to do nothing if he is so I have sort of dismissed that and ear ache.  Like Tesseract I am not big on dosing up the kids unless it's necessary and since the baby panadol seems to be making no difference I have stopped it.

PJ's hurting them - his PJs are a little bog for him so I don't think this is the problem.

Food intolerances - I reckon it's been a week and a half or so.  I did just say to DH tonight that perhaps he hates chocolate and it's a vicious circle - the more he whinges and cries, the more chocolate I eat and the more he whinges and cries.  He's never shown any signs of any intolerance to anything I've eaten and he eats ALL food and has had no change to behaviour with the introduction of foods but maybe I will cut the chocolate - it is the only real change there has been to my diet - Easter came, DD got too much from family and I have been comfort eating it!

Cuddly - he has a teddy that I slept with for thre nights before we took the dummy away and slipped the cuddly in to replace it (at 5.5mths).  This worked a treat with DD and she still sleps with that teddy but he seems to ignore anything else in the cot.  I have heard about putting an old tshirt on the cost - under the sheet - so he can smell me I might try it but I am no comfort to him in his state anyway, he squirms out of my arms just like anyone else (at night not in the day).

Leaving him to it - have done this.  DD had a sleepover at Nana and Pops the last 2 nights so I left him about 5 minutes but it was just escalating so I went in.  Tonight I dared 5 minutes and then thought he'd wake DD so went and tried to calm him.



Reply to this topic



  


2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.