Jump to content

At my wits end
DS sleep issues


10 replies to this topic

#1 Changes

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:28 PM

DS is almost 9 months and has started waking about an hour after he goes down for the night and he will scream for up two hours - regardless of what we do.  We pat him in his cot, we pick him up and rock him, we have "Sounds for Silence" by Dr Harry Zehnwirth playing all the time, we bring him out and lay with him, I will feed him (although I try not to as it's usually only been 1 or 2 hours since last feed) and it doesn't work anyway (he just started up screaming again afterward the other day).

I'm at my wits end and can't bear to go near him as he whinges most of the day - he is a whingy clingy baby just like DD was - so by the end of the day I can't bear him anymore.  I told DH tonight that if I drank alcohol I would be sloshed by 5pm every afternoon - instead I eat junk food when I can get away from the pair of them!

To make matters worse DH is out at 4:30am, comes in for dinner 6:00/6:30 and then usually goes back out for an hour or so after the kids are put to bed at 7 (DS) and 7:30 (DD).  So when DS wakes up it's me all over again until he comes inside.  I'm at the point that if he wouldn't wake up DD I'd let him scream in his cot.

He's screaming as I write this and DH is in there trying to stop it.  I have just come back from DD as he woke her up.

I don't know what else to do anymore, I used a day stay sleep school for DD and it helped and we are using all the same techniques this time.  He doesn't have a dummy BTW.

ETA: He's never gone to sleep well but at least until very recently he was going down then waking between 10pm/11pm for a feed and then between 4am/5am for a feed.  Now, after we settle him fom the screamy eriod, he wakes almost 2 hourly.

He rarely sleeps longer than an hour for day naps and it's usually a battle to get him down.

Thanks for the iron suggestion MARsmum we are going to the doctor for DD tomorrow so might ask him about that while we are there.

Edited by Isabelle Thomas, 26 April 2012 - 09:48 PM.


#2 MARsmum

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:38 PM

I went through the ringer with my DS who was a non sleeper.  I tried everything from a 5 day stay at Tresillian to surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids and still he didn't sleep!  He would either wake every hour or so through the night or have a chunk of sleep and then be awake for three or four hours during the night.  It was torture!  My last straw was having a blood test and it showed he was low in Iron.  I gave him a liquid supplement and he slept through the night that night.  It was AMAZING!  He still wakes some nights or starts the day at 5am however his sleep is completely different now that he is on an Iron supplement.  So, I would really advise having his Iron levels tested.  Apparently, when a child is low in Iron they can not produce serotonin and then can not move into the deep level of sleep.

Good luck and I hope you get some relief!

#3 Mumof1OneontheWay

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:49 PM

Maybe try and get him checked out by a chiropractor - there may be something that they can do to help. Not sure where you are located - I know a couple in Sydney if that is where you are located. My son has been seeing one since birth and we have found it very beneficial.

#4 BeachedAsBro

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:56 PM

Teething? DD has been having a really hard time lately & is only three weeks older than your son. She cut her 5th tooth today & for the first time since last week is asleep before 11pm

#5 Honeymummy

Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:57 PM

Are you sure he is not teething? The waking pattern you described fits my three bubs teething pattern perfectly. Have you tried to give him neurofen about an hour before bed? And with the wingeing during the day - could it be teething also? My no two was wingey so I know what you mean.

The other thing - could you introduce a cuddly at night. Its a soft bit of blanket with a head on it. It may help him get back to sleep. If you sleep with it down your shirt for a night it will smell like you and he will find that comforting.

But seriously - it really could be the teeth. My no 3 teeths for weeks before anyting comes through.

#6 lynneyours

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:00 PM

OP - I am sure you have thought of all the following, but when DD's have been like that (screaming for hours without stopping) they have variously had:
* night terrors (DD1 used to look awake - eyes open - but wasn't actually awake at all)
* constipation/all better once she'd poo'd
* sore teeth
* getting ill
* ear ache
* PJ's hurting them

I hope the GP can help.  




#7 Tesseract

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:01 PM

I have been through the ringer with sleep issues too so I understand how hard it is to look at the situation objectively and hence formulate an action plan.

The thing that stuck me about your post is a) he is whingey and clingy all day, and b) he screams no matter what you do. If he was simply waking up often to feed/rock back to sleep I would put it down to classic sleep association issue, but the two points above indicate that it might be something else...?

So my point is: are you sure it's a sleep issue and not something else? PP mentioned chiropractor and I second this, I saw an osteo for DD and it was great (she was stuck posterior and I had a very long pushing stage during her birth, this sort of 'birth trauma' can impact their little spines).

Other things that spring to mind are food intolerances. How long has he been like this?

Eta: yes, teeth! I know people say it doesn't exist but my DD teeths for weeks and weeks before it comes through, it is such a pain! I know it is probably teeth when I finally give her baby panadol and she passes out 15-20 minutes after the dose. Have you tried giving pain killers? Does it have any impact? I'm not up for dosing kids unnecessarily, but if he is crying that much he may be in pain.

Edited by Tesseract, 26 April 2012 - 10:05 PM.


#8 lozoodle

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:05 PM

Have you tried just leaving him to it?

Both of mine went through this around the same age, and the more we went in and tried different things, the worse it got. I used to give a bit of bonjela in case teething, and then say night night and walk out again. Quick cuddle of course!

9 times out of 10 they both settled within 5 minutes. If it went on longer than that of course I would go back in there, but it never really seemed necessary.

#9 hkclaire

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:17 PM

Have you introduced any new foods recently? In particular at nights? It may be an intolerance or mild allergy?
Just an thought.
Hope things improve soon

#10 Jenferal

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:24 PM

Ear ache ? I'd get him checked out for ears at the GP. My daughter was the same and it was a middle ear infection. She never pulled on her ears like the books say either so I had no idea until she ran a temp of 39 or 40.

#11 Changes

Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:26 PM

Thanks ladies for all your great suggestions, they have given me food for thought and have made me sit and think about what we are doing.  As you said Tesseract when you are in it it's hard to keep thinking and form a plan.

Have just fed him to sleep after 1h30m of screaming - last ditch effort having tried everything else we could think of (and DH had been there patting and rocking for about 45m woth no success).  Cross fingers he has gone down without a whimper tonight.

Chiro: we have seen a chiro from birth till about 4 months when he was all good and they suggested to come back when walking but I might go earlier, call tomorrow and see when I can get an appt.  They did wonders for DD and DS early on.

Teething: DH keeps saying that and we have tried panadol about 30m before bed but then he still wakes at that hourish mark and his first three teeth cut with no real discernible change to behaviour.  He does have one under his gum - his fourth.  We have tried Bonjela on his gums but it hasn't helped either.  If his tooth cuts through and it all stops I'll know I was wrong.

Night terrors (DD1 used to look awake - eyes open - but wasn't actually awake at all) - I have heard of thi sbut what can we do to calm him if it is that and how can we be sure?

Constipation/all better once she'd poo'd - he is very regular, poos 3 or 4 times a day, starting with a huge soft one every morning!!

Getting ill - no other signs he is ill and again the panadol seems to do nothing if he is so I have sort of dismissed that and ear ache.  Like Tesseract I am not big on dosing up the kids unless it's necessary and since the baby panadol seems to be making no difference I have stopped it.

PJ's hurting them - his PJs are a little bog for him so I don't think this is the problem.

Food intolerances - I reckon it's been a week and a half or so.  I did just say to DH tonight that perhaps he hates chocolate and it's a vicious circle - the more he whinges and cries, the more chocolate I eat and the more he whinges and cries.  He's never shown any signs of any intolerance to anything I've eaten and he eats ALL food and has had no change to behaviour with the introduction of foods but maybe I will cut the chocolate - it is the only real change there has been to my diet - Easter came, DD got too much from family and I have been comfort eating it!

Cuddly - he has a teddy that I slept with for thre nights before we took the dummy away and slipped the cuddly in to replace it (at 5.5mths).  This worked a treat with DD and she still sleps with that teddy but he seems to ignore anything else in the cot.  I have heard about putting an old tshirt on the cost - under the sheet - so he can smell me I might try it but I am no comfort to him in his state anyway, he squirms out of my arms just like anyone else (at night not in the day).

Leaving him to it - have done this.  DD had a sleepover at Nana and Pops the last 2 nights so I left him about 5 minutes but it was just escalating so I went in.  Tonight I dared 5 minutes and then thought he'd wake DD so went and tried to calm him.



Reply to this topic



  


2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.