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For those with planned small age gaps
10 replies to this topic
Posted 25 April 2012 - 01:45 PM
To all of you who planned small age gaps, I wonder did it work out as you imagined? Do you think it was the right choice? And why did you plan your small age gap?
I'm TTC my second baby and my first is only 7 months. It took awhile to fall pregnant with her and I am mindful that it may take awhile again (or not)! I feel that since I'm at home with one baby, not working and as such, we have to sacrifice things like holidays etc for the one baby, we may as well have our next baby sooner rather than later. My DD is an absolute delight and has made me want another (something I never thought I would after her newborn stage was over)!
Looking forward to hearing from others experiences.
Posted 25 April 2012 - 03:04 PM
I had planned small age gaps. 15 months between my first 2 and then 24 months between the next. My reasoning is much the same as yours. Easier to put in the hard yards now in terms of being off work, looking after babies which are more physically demanding and just getting through what I find to be the tougher stage of raising young children.
Very happy with my decision however sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier and more relaxing to have bigger age gaps. I love the 3 year gap between my oldest and youngest (they get on soo well) and think life would have been much easier if I went with this age gap. But because I wanted 3 kids I didn't want to space it out that much though.
Posted 25 April 2012 - 03:18 PM
We went for kids close together, and must have gotten pregnant pretty much the first time we had sex after our son was 3 months old. Now have 2 children less than a year apart. First 12 months was tough, really tough. Probably similar to having twins as our boy was still so young and dependant when his little sister was born.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 01:10 PM
Mine are 22 months apart. Mostly it's been fine and I have coped well. The only times that I have really found hard is when they are both sick at the same time. Lost of night waking etc. mine are both girls and very close. They play well together and from about 14 months old for DD2 they were on the same routine. All that being said I planned them close as I always wanted more, now that's not the plan so I do feel like I could have waited another yr in between to allow DD 1 to have been a baby longer. I do feel we pushed her to be out of the baby stage too quick considering I am only having two kids
Posted 26 April 2012 - 01:17 PM
Planned for a small-ish age gap (20 months) for lots of reasons, including those you have mentioned.
Ended up with 57 month age gap after multiple rounds of IVF.
Let's just say I am very glad we didn't think "hey let's wait a couple of years and then try"!
Posted 26 April 2012 - 08:26 PM
We planned ours close so that we could have a 'baby era' and a 'working era'. I'm a SAHM and the thought of stopping and starting work all the time, annoys me. We also wanted/want 6 children (in 10 years) and we prefer not to be having children in our late 30's. I also think that having them close will help us a lot with homeschooling them.
I have just over a 15 month age gap between my first two and an 18 month age gap between the second two. So my eldest was 2 years and 9.5months when my third came along.
It definitely has it's pro's and con's but for us the positives far outweigh the negatives. I would really like to have 4 under 5 but will have to hold off due to finances. God willing, our next gap will be 2 years 7 months, which I'm a bit restless about as it seems huge!
My favourite part would be seeing them go through roughly the same stages together. Which can also be a negative........3 children teething at the same time is not cool!
Posted 26 April 2012 - 08:43 PM
We planned small age gaps to kind of "get it over with" . I think the small age gap of 14 months with DS1 and DD was really good as they were never jealous. They are very close now and all the kids play well. The second gap of 19 months was a little harder as DD was at that not sharing and jealousy stage. Though we had twins so she was really put out by it all. DS1 coped better with the arrival of DS2 and DS3. He was three months shy of his third birthday and was really helpful. For me, I prefer really small gaps (1 year) or older gaps (three years), just because a new bub in the twos was really hard. It has been hard but then I can see many benefits. We will have them all off to school closely, they all play with the same sorts of toys, they are all happy with the same outings and financially it lets me get back to work sooner. They also share friends/playdates etc. For us it has worked great and the hardest years are now behind us. They are now 4, 3, 19 months and 19 months , it's like a daycare around here.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:29 PM
We planned small gaps and I'm glad that it was the case for us.
My kids are now 14, 13 (next week), 11 and 10 (2 weeks. There's 17 months between 1 and 2, 13 months between 2 and 3 and 22 months between 3 and 4.
Although the early years were tough, really tough at times, now the gas they are is great. I would do it exactlzy the same again if I had to.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:37 PM
I have an 18mth age gap. It is hard at times but they get on really well. We started TTC when DD was 4mths old and we could have ended up with an 11mth age gap.
I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ppl will tell you it's hard to have 2 kids in nappies but it doesn't bother me.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:45 PM
I wanted an 18 month gap, but we didn't start TTC in time. It took four months and we ended up with a 23 month gap which was perfect, I love it. They are now 3y4m and 17m and get along so well. They play together, hold hands as they walk along at the shops and are just cute in general. They fight of course, but the cuteness overrides it.
I wanted my next to be a similar gap but again have started to TTC too late. But hopefully it wont be a much bigger gap
Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:52 PM
We had three is just under 4 years, so not really small age gaps but just under two years between 1 and 2, and then between 2 and 3. We wanted them close together so that they could hopefully enjoy a close bond and be at the same stage duirng life. The pros are great, I can go to a park and all three will enjoy the same equipment, we can put on a movie that they will all enjoy. I also think (hope) later in life there will be lots of benefits of being close in age to your siblings. It is hard work though, and there can be hours during the day when barely a couple of minutes goes by without one of the kids needing me which can be really intense. Trying to get organised to go out when nobody is old enough to just grab their bag and put shoes on without assistance is also hard.
I agree with those who said life prob would have been easier with a bigger age gap, and I am 't.now expecting our 4th child and I'm very excited to be having a bigger age gap this time. But would I change having the first three close, no I wouldn't.
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