Jump to content

What do you do with your toddler while settling baby to sleep?


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 Emma600

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:17 PM

I have an almost 3 year old DD and a DS almost 5 months.  
Up until recently it been fairly easy to settle him down for his day sleeps, wrap, dummy a minute or 2 of rocking and into a swing chair so entertaining my 3 year old while I did this wasn't really a problem. But in the last few weeks he has become increasingly aware of and interested in the world around him. It takes ages to settle him, he wants to look at everything and any little noise stops him from closing his eyes. Plus the swing chair doesn't seem to keep him asleep anymore he wakes after 15-20 minutes and needs re-settling. So I seem to spend what feels like a large part of the day trying to settle him and my 3 year old is finding it very hard to occupy herself ....nor is it really fair to ask her to, she needs me too ...... but it's such a frustrating process I find I'm getting cranky with her.
There must be a better way.... any more experienced mums have any suggestions or thoughts?
Today I'm resorting to using the TV .... it's pouring with rain and she has a cold so I don't feel bad about it today but rather it didn't become a long term thing.

#2 KnightsofNi

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:22 PM

I used the TV. It was only for a short time, so I don't feel bad for it.

#3 Xander2

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:25 PM

My DS turned 3 in March and my DD is now 15 months but back when she was 5 or 6 months old I had the same problem.  I used the TV more than I wanted to on most occasions when I was trying to settle DD.

I have no trouble now as DS understands that DD is trying to sleep and he can't come in, but didn't understand it when she was younger.  I tried puzzles and books and 'special' toys that only came out when it was sleep time for DD but more often than not he wanted me to look or play WITH him so they didn't really work for me.

Ultimately the only thing that worked was perservering until he was a bit older and had more of an understanding, but in the meantime the TV was the only thing that held his attention for long enough to let me have 10 or 15 minutes to settle DD.

#4 sg290780

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:25 PM

Its going to be tuff if your baby has had 5 months of being rocked and settled...

But if you tuff it out the benefits will be great in the long run.

babies need to learn to settle themselves... they arent born with it. I never rocked either of my children I put them in their bassinette or stroller awake when they were sleepy but not over tired and let them fall asleep on their own.

I know it must seem harsh but if its impacting your life then you need to do something different.

Your baby will cry - but they cannot cry forever. I know friends who had to un-do rocking who would lay baby in the bassinette or cot; make no eyecontact but pat their stomach innitially to ease the transition.

Good luck with whatever you choose original.gif & remember what fun you can have with your toddler if you had that extra time.

#5 MAGS24

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:26 PM

I have a four year old DS and a five month old. When I'm putting the baby to bed, I get DS1 to watch his favourite show on TV. That seems to distract him enough most of the time. I also found that giving him something to eat can distract him for a while.

Edited by MAGS24, 23 April 2012 - 02:28 PM.


#6 busymumof1&1/2

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

Hi Emma600,
The TV is my long term plan at the moment. I have a 20 month old and a 5 month old and to get the baby off to sleep is getting increasingly harder, because as you said, they are more aware now, and any noise she wants to look at.
I have tried putting my DD1 to sleep first, then settle the baby, but this only works when DD1 is actually due for a sleep happy.gif
For the rest, I just have the TV on, or organise afternoon tea/morning tea and DD1 in the highchair concentrating on food, while I feed DD2 off to sleep.
Hope you find your rhythym soon.

#7 kkbelle

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

We do a little tv here, too. original.gif I also have a few favourite boxes of toys that only come out when baby is being settled. DD1 will happily play with her tea set in her room for at least half an hour since it only comes out a couple of times a week.

My DD2 was starting to do the awake after 15-20 minute thing, too. I started putting her down about 5 minutes earlier and she's settling within 5-10 minutes now.

#8 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 23 April 2012 - 04:44 PM

i either used to put the twins (4years older) to bed first, then boob dd, or just put dd in the sling and let her do her own thing
i always made sure it was noisy at  sleeptime so she was used to it

#9 Freddie'sMum

Posted 23 April 2012 - 04:51 PM

Another one raising my hand saying ABC Kids was an absolute life saver.  When the girls were toddler / baby - if I was trying to get the baby to sleep - I would set up the toddler in front of the TV - with a snack and then do my darnest to get the baby to sleep.

Yes, I did feel guilty that I used the TV as a babysitter - but it was either that - or just have the toddler come into the room and want to play with me or her little sister.

Do what you have to do to get the baby to sleep - feed / wrap / dummy / music / it doesn't matter.



#10 Soontobegran

Posted 23 April 2012 - 05:00 PM

I had a play pen! Oh the shame biggrin.gif
With lots of little toddlers at once if I had to at any time leave them alone whilst settling a baby, working in the kitchen or anything where I would be out of sight for several minutes I would put them in there with lots of toys, books and sometimes some music playing or children's TV.
They were safe and happy and I had no anxiety about being in a different part of the house.

I know there are those who will say that our children aren't animals or prisoners to be locked up and I say 'whatever'.
You do what you have to do to keep everyone safe and of course they were not in there for more than 15-30 minutes at a time.

#11 Natttmumm

Posted 26 April 2012 - 12:53 PM

For most of the time DD2 was good at going to sleep alone but on a bad day DD1 was only 2 so she didn't understand to b quiet so I sometimes went for a walk to the park and rocked the pram while DD 1 played. Sometimes I went for a drive. Sometimes I pushed DD2 in the pram in the house. It's much easier if the second child can fall asleep without too much assistance but not always possible. Have u tried music on in the room. This helped us a lot.
When all else failed I patted DD2 to sleep on the lounge while DD1 talked away.

#12 Ice Queen

Posted 01 May 2012 - 01:08 PM

Emma600, my 2 are exactly the same age as yours.  DD drives me bonkers when i try and get DS to sleep.  Yesterday he was nearly asleep in the pram and we were off for a walk and DD looks in the pram, his eys are slightly open and she yells 'MUM! HE'S STILL AWAKE' right in his face.  Omg thanks for that....He is certainly awake now.  

She follows me into the nursery and talks constantly.  TV works but as soon as she realises i have left the room, i can hear those damm footsteps up the stairs 'mum, where are you....'.

Just in general she is driving me batty at the moment, the baby seems so easy compared to her.  I feel like all my energy is being spent on her but that is another topic alltogether.

On a positive note i have put in some hard yards in lately to get DS to fall asleep with less rocking, patting etc.  It has paid dividends and i can now usually get him down before DD realises i am gone.  But you need to do what is right for you, not everyone can cope with crying bub.  It took about a week of persistence.

#13 sophiasmum

Posted 01 May 2012 - 01:23 PM

I had them 2 yrs apart, and then 3 yrs apart.

OP, I used the tv, I would say stay here & watch quietly I won't be long I'll be back soon. I would shut the baby's door so I could settle without being disturbed. They quickly got the message to wait for me to be free before coming to ask me for something.

However, I stopped hands on settling by 4 mths for the reason that it was taking longer & longer to pat or rock to sleep, and I couldn't be away from the other children for that long (45 mins, occasionally an hour). So I started putting to bed awake & they would fall asleep on their own. It was a lightbulb moment for me, like I suddenly gained all these extra hours in the day, it was wonderful!




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

'I had a lotus birth and I loved it'

Lotus birthing is not all that common, but for a number of women it feels like the most natural thing to do.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Is your family's car part of the world's biggest safety recall?

More than 50 million vehicles recalled for potentially lethal airbag fault - is your car affected?

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

Mother-in-law faceplants during proposal

He had it all planned: a romantic proposal on a windswept beach. The whole family would be there so they'd all be able to celebrate the joyous moment together.

A preschooler suddenly goes mute - and it's not just shyness

When our son stopped talking, our sense of loss was painful and acute.

The mums who ask for a 'wife bonus'

They run their homes like domestic CEOs and work tirelessly to improve their family's social standing. And now, according to a new book, they want an annual perk from their husbands.

Woman shares photo of dimple on breast to warn others of cancer risk

A widely-shared Facebook photograph of a British woman's breast has raised awareness of a more subtle breast cancer symptom.

Starting a family despite a low sperm count

"I'd never really failed a test - how could I fail this particularly manly test?"

It's official: we must better protect our kids from toxic lead exposure

New guidelines have been released, aimed at reducing children's harmful exposure to lead. But they still don't go far enough.

Trouble-shooting toddler social skills

Chances are your toddler's behaviour is all completely normal - but here's how to tackle some common social problems.

Helping your first-born welcome a sibling

We did sigh with joy at the arrival of a royal princess - but, mostly, we sighed with pity at the sight of Prince George being taken to meet her.

Farewell, daytime nap

I've been in denial and I'm not too proud to beg, but it appears I must accept the fact that you have gone. I need to let you go.

The identical triplets who are one in 50 million

The father of identical triplets born in a Texas hospital says his three daughters, including conjoined twins, are "a miracle" sent by God.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.