Jump to content

What do you do with your toddler while settling baby to sleep?


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 Emma600

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:17 PM

I have an almost 3 year old DD and a DS almost 5 months.  
Up until recently it been fairly easy to settle him down for his day sleeps, wrap, dummy a minute or 2 of rocking and into a swing chair so entertaining my 3 year old while I did this wasn't really a problem. But in the last few weeks he has become increasingly aware of and interested in the world around him. It takes ages to settle him, he wants to look at everything and any little noise stops him from closing his eyes. Plus the swing chair doesn't seem to keep him asleep anymore he wakes after 15-20 minutes and needs re-settling. So I seem to spend what feels like a large part of the day trying to settle him and my 3 year old is finding it very hard to occupy herself ....nor is it really fair to ask her to, she needs me too ...... but it's such a frustrating process I find I'm getting cranky with her.
There must be a better way.... any more experienced mums have any suggestions or thoughts?
Today I'm resorting to using the TV .... it's pouring with rain and she has a cold so I don't feel bad about it today but rather it didn't become a long term thing.

#2 KnightsofNi

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:22 PM

I used the TV. It was only for a short time, so I don't feel bad for it.

#3 Xander2

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:25 PM

My DS turned 3 in March and my DD is now 15 months but back when she was 5 or 6 months old I had the same problem.  I used the TV more than I wanted to on most occasions when I was trying to settle DD.

I have no trouble now as DS understands that DD is trying to sleep and he can't come in, but didn't understand it when she was younger.  I tried puzzles and books and 'special' toys that only came out when it was sleep time for DD but more often than not he wanted me to look or play WITH him so they didn't really work for me.

Ultimately the only thing that worked was perservering until he was a bit older and had more of an understanding, but in the meantime the TV was the only thing that held his attention for long enough to let me have 10 or 15 minutes to settle DD.

#4 sg290780

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:25 PM

Its going to be tuff if your baby has had 5 months of being rocked and settled...

But if you tuff it out the benefits will be great in the long run.

babies need to learn to settle themselves... they arent born with it. I never rocked either of my children I put them in their bassinette or stroller awake when they were sleepy but not over tired and let them fall asleep on their own.

I know it must seem harsh but if its impacting your life then you need to do something different.

Your baby will cry - but they cannot cry forever. I know friends who had to un-do rocking who would lay baby in the bassinette or cot; make no eyecontact but pat their stomach innitially to ease the transition.

Good luck with whatever you choose original.gif & remember what fun you can have with your toddler if you had that extra time.

#5 MAGS24

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:26 PM

I have a four year old DS and a five month old. When I'm putting the baby to bed, I get DS1 to watch his favourite show on TV. That seems to distract him enough most of the time. I also found that giving him something to eat can distract him for a while.

Edited by MAGS24, 23 April 2012 - 02:28 PM.


#6 busymumof1&1/2

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

Hi Emma600,
The TV is my long term plan at the moment. I have a 20 month old and a 5 month old and to get the baby off to sleep is getting increasingly harder, because as you said, they are more aware now, and any noise she wants to look at.
I have tried putting my DD1 to sleep first, then settle the baby, but this only works when DD1 is actually due for a sleep happy.gif
For the rest, I just have the TV on, or organise afternoon tea/morning tea and DD1 in the highchair concentrating on food, while I feed DD2 off to sleep.
Hope you find your rhythym soon.

#7 kkbelle

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

We do a little tv here, too. original.gif I also have a few favourite boxes of toys that only come out when baby is being settled. DD1 will happily play with her tea set in her room for at least half an hour since it only comes out a couple of times a week.

My DD2 was starting to do the awake after 15-20 minute thing, too. I started putting her down about 5 minutes earlier and she's settling within 5-10 minutes now.

#8 Feralishous

Posted 23 April 2012 - 04:44 PM

i either used to put the twins (4years older) to bed first, then boob dd, or just put dd in the sling and let her do her own thing
i always made sure it was noisy at  sleeptime so she was used to it

#9 Freddie'sMum

Posted 23 April 2012 - 04:51 PM

Another one raising my hand saying ABC Kids was an absolute life saver.  When the girls were toddler / baby - if I was trying to get the baby to sleep - I would set up the toddler in front of the TV - with a snack and then do my darnest to get the baby to sleep.

Yes, I did feel guilty that I used the TV as a babysitter - but it was either that - or just have the toddler come into the room and want to play with me or her little sister.

Do what you have to do to get the baby to sleep - feed / wrap / dummy / music / it doesn't matter.



#10 Soontobegran

Posted 23 April 2012 - 05:00 PM

I had a play pen! Oh the shame biggrin.gif
With lots of little toddlers at once if I had to at any time leave them alone whilst settling a baby, working in the kitchen or anything where I would be out of sight for several minutes I would put them in there with lots of toys, books and sometimes some music playing or children's TV.
They were safe and happy and I had no anxiety about being in a different part of the house.

I know there are those who will say that our children aren't animals or prisoners to be locked up and I say 'whatever'.
You do what you have to do to keep everyone safe and of course they were not in there for more than 15-30 minutes at a time.

#11 Natttmumm

Posted 26 April 2012 - 12:53 PM

For most of the time DD2 was good at going to sleep alone but on a bad day DD1 was only 2 so she didn't understand to b quiet so I sometimes went for a walk to the park and rocked the pram while DD 1 played. Sometimes I went for a drive. Sometimes I pushed DD2 in the pram in the house. It's much easier if the second child can fall asleep without too much assistance but not always possible. Have u tried music on in the room. This helped us a lot.
When all else failed I patted DD2 to sleep on the lounge while DD1 talked away.

#12 Ice Queen

Posted 01 May 2012 - 01:08 PM

Emma600, my 2 are exactly the same age as yours.  DD drives me bonkers when i try and get DS to sleep.  Yesterday he was nearly asleep in the pram and we were off for a walk and DD looks in the pram, his eys are slightly open and she yells 'MUM! HE'S STILL AWAKE' right in his face.  Omg thanks for that....He is certainly awake now.  

She follows me into the nursery and talks constantly.  TV works but as soon as she realises i have left the room, i can hear those damm footsteps up the stairs 'mum, where are you....'.

Just in general she is driving me batty at the moment, the baby seems so easy compared to her.  I feel like all my energy is being spent on her but that is another topic alltogether.

On a positive note i have put in some hard yards in lately to get DS to fall asleep with less rocking, patting etc.  It has paid dividends and i can now usually get him down before DD realises i am gone.  But you need to do what is right for you, not everyone can cope with crying bub.  It took about a week of persistence.

#13 sophiasmum

Posted 01 May 2012 - 01:23 PM

I had them 2 yrs apart, and then 3 yrs apart.

OP, I used the tv, I would say stay here & watch quietly I won't be long I'll be back soon. I would shut the baby's door so I could settle without being disturbed. They quickly got the message to wait for me to be free before coming to ask me for something.

However, I stopped hands on settling by 4 mths for the reason that it was taking longer & longer to pat or rock to sleep, and I couldn't be away from the other children for that long (45 mins, occasionally an hour). So I started putting to bed awake & they would fall asleep on their own. It was a lightbulb moment for me, like I suddenly gained all these extra hours in the day, it was wonderful!




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reaction to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Empowering bikini photo of 46-year-old mum goes viral

When a group of teenagers made rude remarks about her body as she walked past them in a bikini at the local beach, Julie Cross refused to cover up.

Devastated widow discovers she's pregnant the day before husband's funeral

They had been trying to conceive a baby for seven years. Tragically Kristy Kirchner found out she was pregnant the day before her husband Royce's funeral.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Gabriella Goat sues Peppa Pig

Every toddler's favourite television pig is being sued by an Italian woman who shares a name with a Peppa Pig character.

Meet the Mpregs, the male pregnancy enthusiasts

"Men can't have babies - that's something only women can do! But our community is full of like-minded people who wish otherwise."

Your new motherhood survival kit

Forget about the bright, pretty baby things - while you're in survival mode, all you'll need are the essentials.

More than 100,000 cars recalled globally after death of pregnant woman

The announcement of a mass recall comes as Malaysian police investigate the death of pregnant woman in July.

I had a 'good baby' but still suffered from postnatal depression

I had a much wanted precious baby girl, a 'good baby' who slept well, self settled and was mostly content. It just seemed implausible to think I could succumb to depression.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Eating ice may give mental boost to the iron deficient: study

A new study proposes that, like a strong cup of coffee, ice may give those with insufficient iron a much-needed mental boost.

Tiny lives in caring hands: Thank U NICU Day

Each year in Australia, over 40,000 newborns need the help of a special care nursery or neonatal intensive care unit. One day a year, the staff are honoured by the parents they help through those dark days.

I paid $50,000 to have a girl

This time my husband and I hadn't taken any chances. We had paid $50,000 and travelled 13,000 kilometres to make sure the baby growing inside me was female.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Dear firstborn, I'm sorry

Being a first-time mum is tough for so many reasons – particularly because you really have no idea what you're doing.

A trace of sesame could kill my son

Helen Richardson son's had two anaphylactic reactions in a month. It's traumatic for everyone.

When you know before the test says yes

It wasn't a pregnancy test or missed period that told me I was pregnant with my second baby; it was too early for those things. A doner kebab told me I was going to be a mum again.

What not to do when your partner is in labour

Robbie Williams stole the show during his wife Ayda's labour, pretty much demonstrating everything on the "what not to do when your partner is in labour" list.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Dad breastfeeds his babies

Trevor Macdonald has now been pregnant twice, and is successfully breastfeeding his newest family member.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.