Jump to content

Transitioning 19mo to 'big bed'
Tips to keep him IN bed please!!!


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 sharonica

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

Hi everyone!

We have just made the swap for our 19mo DS to move to a 'big bed' in anticipation of DD's impending arrival in 5ish weeks. We moved DS over about 4 weeks ago, trying to give ourselves plenty of time for him to adjust before we moved the cot into the baby's new room. The first 3 nights were a breeze, DS slept through all night and didn't get out of the bed. DH and I were patting each other on the back, praising our good parenting and wondering what the fuss was all about! Too soon, too soon! rolleyes.gif

Anyway, night number 4 and DS caught on that he could climb out of bed and there was nothing stopping him. So as soon as we put him down he would get out. We'd put him back in, he'd get out, put him back in, he'd get out (you get the picture!). We then strategised that we would make the cot his 'punishment' for not staying in bed: ie. warn him that if he doesn't stay in bed then he will sleep in the cot without his teddies etc. We've been going with that strategy for the last 4 weeks and it hasn't worked, he's still ending up in the cot every nap and nighttime! At night we'll put him into his bed once he's asleep and he'll generally stay there until 5am-ish when he hops out to go play with his toys (and we then put him back into the cot so we can go back to sleep). So the whole 'cot=punishment'/'bed=reward' theory has been a total flop.

So I need some ideas desperately. We're running out of time because I'd really like to put DD into the cot straight up when she comes home. We've never really been the type of parents to sit with their child til they fall asleep, I'm a big fan of them learning to self sooth and fall asleep without parental assistance. But given that I'm desperate, I'm open to ANY ideas, strategies etc etc!!

TIA original.gif , your tips are most appreciated!

#2 *mylittleprince*

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:09 PM

Have you moved him to a toddler bed or proper single bed? 19 months is very young IMO for a big bed. Are you able to borrow a cot from anyone and keep him in it for longer?

#3 Jo-Anna

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

Have you considered a basinet for the new baby to buy you some more time? I think 19 months is very early to go into a big bed and perhaps in a few months the transition may be a bit easier. I have a feeling that reasoning with a 19 month old about staying in bed may just be fighting a losing battle.

That is what I would do, but then again I am only judging off my nephew who is 2.5 and is only just beginning to be ready to go into a big bed now. Maybe someone more experienced might have some tips for you.

#4 Xander2

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

We did the same thing at pretty much the same age with DS before DD came along.

I thought it would be a few weeks of torture for a good result in the long run.  All kids are different but it was months and months of torture....even after DD was born and came home!  If I had my time over I would have bought a 2nd cot and waited until DS was a bit older.

We just did the pick him up and put him to bed with no talking etc.  It took ages and in hindsight he just wasn't ready but for some reason I was all "Well it's a waste of money buying a 2nd cot if he'll only be in it for another 6 months" but if I'd bought a 2nd cot it would have been a much less stressful 6 months!

#5 Tesseract

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:22 PM

We have DD 14 months in a 'big bed'. It's a mattress on the floor so yes she can get out of it. Some things I find have helped are:

-Using a sleeping bag rather than blankets. It's harder to get up and about in a sleeping bag!
-Minimal toys/distractions at child height in the room. She has access to her bookcase and a couple of teddies, that's it.
-Gate on her door. This way if she does get out and about she can play without any issues.

I'm not a fan of creating rewards/punishments, especially around bed and sleeping, it just creates anxiety about the whole thing. If your cot/no teddies=punishment thing had worked, he would essentially be staying in the bed out of fear that he will lose his access to his comfort items, the teddies. I don't think that's a healthy association to be creating with sleep.

You said he can get out of his bed, but can he get into it? I would make it so he can get both in and out, giving him some control over the situation. For us that meant a mattress on the floor. Then lie down with him until he is calm and relaxed, and then leave if you want (we just stay till she's asleep, but she's younger and that's more our style). If he gets up and is playing quietly and happily, I would just let him do that for a bit without making a big drama of it. He might go back to bed himself, or call you when he's ready for a cuddle and to sleep again.

#6 kiwimum2b

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

Hi. I have just put my nearly 18 month old into a toddler bed (took side off his cot and safety rail up) and like yours the 1st week when he didn't know he could get out of bed was bliss original.gif
What is working for us is making sure he is in there when he's tired..sticking to 1 daytime nap and strict bedtime (if he goes in not tired he just plays around and if overtired its even worse)
He also has a sleeping bag thing that he can still walk in which is his cue it's bedtime. I'm even stripping him off and using it for his day nap as a cue and it's working great.
If he cries I just put him back to bed, no talking etc but after 1 night when I did it about 7 times, he now just snuggles down to sleep with 1 return to bed max.

My advice to you would be to choose either bed or cot and not to use both..he basically knows he can get in the cot by getting up..if you don't think hes ready for a bed, put him back in cot an use bassinet for the baby and maybe try again in a few months..otherwise preserve with the bed..I'd say after a night or 2 of returning him to bed he'll get bored and know he may as well just go to sleep!
Good luck


#7 nakedrhubarb

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:37 PM

I would put my son to bed with the same routine - story cuddle and the tuck in before leaving ( we used a trundle bed with mattress until he was big enough to get into the big bed). The door could stay open if he stayed in his bed otherwise I would shut the door. He would hop up and play a little before going back to bed and falling asleep. I was also careful to make sure he didn't have more than one day sleep as if he fell asleep late afternoon it was a nightmare at bed time.

#8 Studybug

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:52 PM

HI there

DS is 2yrs, 3mths and we're about to take the side off his cot as he can climb out when not in a sleeping bag.  So no doubt we're about to be sleep deprived for a while too wink.gif .

I don't really have any advice (sorry!) but thought I'd share.  DH's nephew has always been an absolute dream sleeper.  SIL put him into a single bed when he was about 2.5yrs as he's a a big boy and was running out of room in the cot.  SIL was so thrilled and shocked that he transistioned with only the first two nights being disrupted (calling out, coming out of his bedroom, etc).  Because there are a couple of steps near his bedroom door in their split level home, after the first night SIL put a gate on his bedroom door so if nephew got up in the middle of the night he wouldn't fall down the stairs.  Nephew had stopped calling out after the second night.  All was well again.

Then, a few months later Grandma came to stay.  She needed a middle of the night toilet break and got up.  walking past nephew's door she noticed the light was on, and he was playing.  She went back to bed and waited.  30 minutes later, nephew turned the light off, she checked on him and he was alseep in bed.  next morning SIL had a chat with nephew, turns out he'd been getting up in the middle of the night and playing every night since the big bed intro LOl, he just wasn't coming out because of the gate and was being quiet so he wouldn't get in trouble! LOL  

Anyway, maybe the moral of this story is to get a gate, and not worry if he gets up for a play provided he gets some sleep, he is quiet and he gets back in bed when he's done lol.

Good Luck!

Edited by Studybug, 23 April 2012 - 02:54 PM.


#9 paddyboo

Posted 23 April 2012 - 03:01 PM

we are transitioning Pat now. At the moment his cot is made up like a bed (pillow/doona) but still has all 4 sides. We are using a gro bedding set. This is where the doona zips on to the fitted sheet. In a bed it stops them from falling out or kicking doona off but we are using it to stop him from moving around so much. The plus side is, with a grobag on as well, he can't get out. He can sit, but not stand. Maybe you could try that. I ordered mine from the UK as you can't get them in australia, I ordered from www.babycurls.co.uk

#10 me_n_my_kidz

Posted 23 April 2012 - 03:01 PM

Hi, we have always put them in the big bed with minimal toys in the room - just the teddies that they slept with really until they got very used to sleeping in the big bed and then I would slowly move the toys back in.

#11 Jenferal

Posted 23 April 2012 - 07:48 PM

He might feel safer in the cot which could be why he ends up in there each sleep.
I'd do as the PP's suggested and get a bassinet for the baby for a few months or a cot for her.
I can't see how saying the cot (where he was previously happy and comfortable) is the punishment is ever going to work. Do you think he really CARES he's in a big bed? I bet he doesn't. Not at less than 2 years.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win Coles Little Explorer nappies for your toddler

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

'Why we called our daughter Wyatt'

Ashton Kutcher has spoken about how he and Mila Kunis chose their daughter's name - and why they've set up her social media accounts.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.