Jump to content

Transitioning 19mo to 'big bed'
Tips to keep him IN bed please!!!


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 sharonica

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

Hi everyone!

We have just made the swap for our 19mo DS to move to a 'big bed' in anticipation of DD's impending arrival in 5ish weeks. We moved DS over about 4 weeks ago, trying to give ourselves plenty of time for him to adjust before we moved the cot into the baby's new room. The first 3 nights were a breeze, DS slept through all night and didn't get out of the bed. DH and I were patting each other on the back, praising our good parenting and wondering what the fuss was all about! Too soon, too soon! rolleyes.gif

Anyway, night number 4 and DS caught on that he could climb out of bed and there was nothing stopping him. So as soon as we put him down he would get out. We'd put him back in, he'd get out, put him back in, he'd get out (you get the picture!). We then strategised that we would make the cot his 'punishment' for not staying in bed: ie. warn him that if he doesn't stay in bed then he will sleep in the cot without his teddies etc. We've been going with that strategy for the last 4 weeks and it hasn't worked, he's still ending up in the cot every nap and nighttime! At night we'll put him into his bed once he's asleep and he'll generally stay there until 5am-ish when he hops out to go play with his toys (and we then put him back into the cot so we can go back to sleep). So the whole 'cot=punishment'/'bed=reward' theory has been a total flop.

So I need some ideas desperately. We're running out of time because I'd really like to put DD into the cot straight up when she comes home. We've never really been the type of parents to sit with their child til they fall asleep, I'm a big fan of them learning to self sooth and fall asleep without parental assistance. But given that I'm desperate, I'm open to ANY ideas, strategies etc etc!!

TIA original.gif , your tips are most appreciated!

#2 *mylittleprince*

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:09 PM

Have you moved him to a toddler bed or proper single bed? 19 months is very young IMO for a big bed. Are you able to borrow a cot from anyone and keep him in it for longer?

#3 Jo-Anna

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

Have you considered a basinet for the new baby to buy you some more time? I think 19 months is very early to go into a big bed and perhaps in a few months the transition may be a bit easier. I have a feeling that reasoning with a 19 month old about staying in bed may just be fighting a losing battle.

That is what I would do, but then again I am only judging off my nephew who is 2.5 and is only just beginning to be ready to go into a big bed now. Maybe someone more experienced might have some tips for you.

#4 Xander2

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

We did the same thing at pretty much the same age with DS before DD came along.

I thought it would be a few weeks of torture for a good result in the long run.  All kids are different but it was months and months of torture....even after DD was born and came home!  If I had my time over I would have bought a 2nd cot and waited until DS was a bit older.

We just did the pick him up and put him to bed with no talking etc.  It took ages and in hindsight he just wasn't ready but for some reason I was all "Well it's a waste of money buying a 2nd cot if he'll only be in it for another 6 months" but if I'd bought a 2nd cot it would have been a much less stressful 6 months!

#5 Tesseract

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:22 PM

We have DD 14 months in a 'big bed'. It's a mattress on the floor so yes she can get out of it. Some things I find have helped are:

-Using a sleeping bag rather than blankets. It's harder to get up and about in a sleeping bag!
-Minimal toys/distractions at child height in the room. She has access to her bookcase and a couple of teddies, that's it.
-Gate on her door. This way if she does get out and about she can play without any issues.

I'm not a fan of creating rewards/punishments, especially around bed and sleeping, it just creates anxiety about the whole thing. If your cot/no teddies=punishment thing had worked, he would essentially be staying in the bed out of fear that he will lose his access to his comfort items, the teddies. I don't think that's a healthy association to be creating with sleep.

You said he can get out of his bed, but can he get into it? I would make it so he can get both in and out, giving him some control over the situation. For us that meant a mattress on the floor. Then lie down with him until he is calm and relaxed, and then leave if you want (we just stay till she's asleep, but she's younger and that's more our style). If he gets up and is playing quietly and happily, I would just let him do that for a bit without making a big drama of it. He might go back to bed himself, or call you when he's ready for a cuddle and to sleep again.

#6 kiwimum2b

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

Hi. I have just put my nearly 18 month old into a toddler bed (took side off his cot and safety rail up) and like yours the 1st week when he didn't know he could get out of bed was bliss original.gif
What is working for us is making sure he is in there when he's tired..sticking to 1 daytime nap and strict bedtime (if he goes in not tired he just plays around and if overtired its even worse)
He also has a sleeping bag thing that he can still walk in which is his cue it's bedtime. I'm even stripping him off and using it for his day nap as a cue and it's working great.
If he cries I just put him back to bed, no talking etc but after 1 night when I did it about 7 times, he now just snuggles down to sleep with 1 return to bed max.

My advice to you would be to choose either bed or cot and not to use both..he basically knows he can get in the cot by getting up..if you don't think hes ready for a bed, put him back in cot an use bassinet for the baby and maybe try again in a few months..otherwise preserve with the bed..I'd say after a night or 2 of returning him to bed he'll get bored and know he may as well just go to sleep!
Good luck


#7 nakedrhubarb

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:37 PM

I would put my son to bed with the same routine - story cuddle and the tuck in before leaving ( we used a trundle bed with mattress until he was big enough to get into the big bed). The door could stay open if he stayed in his bed otherwise I would shut the door. He would hop up and play a little before going back to bed and falling asleep. I was also careful to make sure he didn't have more than one day sleep as if he fell asleep late afternoon it was a nightmare at bed time.

#8 Studybug

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:52 PM

HI there

DS is 2yrs, 3mths and we're about to take the side off his cot as he can climb out when not in a sleeping bag.  So no doubt we're about to be sleep deprived for a while too wink.gif .

I don't really have any advice (sorry!) but thought I'd share.  DH's nephew has always been an absolute dream sleeper.  SIL put him into a single bed when he was about 2.5yrs as he's a a big boy and was running out of room in the cot.  SIL was so thrilled and shocked that he transistioned with only the first two nights being disrupted (calling out, coming out of his bedroom, etc).  Because there are a couple of steps near his bedroom door in their split level home, after the first night SIL put a gate on his bedroom door so if nephew got up in the middle of the night he wouldn't fall down the stairs.  Nephew had stopped calling out after the second night.  All was well again.

Then, a few months later Grandma came to stay.  She needed a middle of the night toilet break and got up.  walking past nephew's door she noticed the light was on, and he was playing.  She went back to bed and waited.  30 minutes later, nephew turned the light off, she checked on him and he was alseep in bed.  next morning SIL had a chat with nephew, turns out he'd been getting up in the middle of the night and playing every night since the big bed intro LOl, he just wasn't coming out because of the gate and was being quiet so he wouldn't get in trouble! LOL  

Anyway, maybe the moral of this story is to get a gate, and not worry if he gets up for a play provided he gets some sleep, he is quiet and he gets back in bed when he's done lol.

Good Luck!

Edited by Studybug, 23 April 2012 - 02:54 PM.


#9 paddyboo

Posted 23 April 2012 - 03:01 PM

we are transitioning Pat now. At the moment his cot is made up like a bed (pillow/doona) but still has all 4 sides. We are using a gro bedding set. This is where the doona zips on to the fitted sheet. In a bed it stops them from falling out or kicking doona off but we are using it to stop him from moving around so much. The plus side is, with a grobag on as well, he can't get out. He can sit, but not stand. Maybe you could try that. I ordered mine from the UK as you can't get them in australia, I ordered from www.babycurls.co.uk

#10 me_n_my_kidz

Posted 23 April 2012 - 03:01 PM

Hi, we have always put them in the big bed with minimal toys in the room - just the teddies that they slept with really until they got very used to sleeping in the big bed and then I would slowly move the toys back in.

#11 Jenferal

Posted 23 April 2012 - 07:48 PM

He might feel safer in the cot which could be why he ends up in there each sleep.
I'd do as the PP's suggested and get a bassinet for the baby for a few months or a cot for her.
I can't see how saying the cot (where he was previously happy and comfortable) is the punishment is ever going to work. Do you think he really CARES he's in a big bed? I bet he doesn't. Not at less than 2 years.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Why I breastfed my son until he was three

The fact that I not only breastfed my son, but breastfed him for three and a half years, seems pretty incredible in retrospect.

Do babies and young children see ghosts?

Do babies and young children see ghosts? If you’ve pondered the question, you’re not alone.

15 years with Essential Baby: meet Therese

"Life has a funny way of giving you what you need when you need it the most."

Mum causes a stir by taking a stand against leggings

A mum has found herself the subject of debate after claiming tight bottoms cause lustful thoughts in men.

Don't set a parenting goal for 2015 - do this instead

The problem with goal setting as a parent is the measure. How do we really know if we’re succeeding?

5 pregnancy myths that just won't go away

When you're expecting, it often seems like everyone is keen to offer advice about what you should and shouldn't do in the interests of your health and wellbeing.

RPA hospital contacting mums after discovering vaccine storage fault

Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) is trying to contact women who had babies at the facility after discovering a fault in a refrigerator containing vaccines.

'Nutella' not a baby name, French court says

A French court has blocked parents from naming their baby girl after the hazelnut spread Nutella, arguing it would make her the target of mockery.

Why I'm never calling myself 'just a mum' again

I’ve grown three human beings. I feed them, dress them, teach them, care for them and love them 24 hours a day. Yet for eight years, when I meet new people and they’ve asked me what I do, I tell them: “I’m just a mum”.

Rosie Batty named 2015 Australian of the Year

One year ago, Rosie Batty could not have imagined she'd be where she is. Tonight the grieving mum who put domestic violence on the national agenda was named Australian of the Year.

Five reasons to hug more

Hugging – some of us thrive on it, even depend on it – and then there are those who don't care for it really. So, are they missing out?

Help - my three-year-old has started throwing tantrums

My daughter never went through the "terrible twos" but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday.

That's commitment

First peek at Sonia Kruger's daughter Maggie

"She smells so good, I could eat her," Kruger tells co-host David Campbell.

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.