Jump to content

Transitioning 19mo to 'big bed'
Tips to keep him IN bed please!!!


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 sharonica

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

Hi everyone!

We have just made the swap for our 19mo DS to move to a 'big bed' in anticipation of DD's impending arrival in 5ish weeks. We moved DS over about 4 weeks ago, trying to give ourselves plenty of time for him to adjust before we moved the cot into the baby's new room. The first 3 nights were a breeze, DS slept through all night and didn't get out of the bed. DH and I were patting each other on the back, praising our good parenting and wondering what the fuss was all about! Too soon, too soon! rolleyes.gif

Anyway, night number 4 and DS caught on that he could climb out of bed and there was nothing stopping him. So as soon as we put him down he would get out. We'd put him back in, he'd get out, put him back in, he'd get out (you get the picture!). We then strategised that we would make the cot his 'punishment' for not staying in bed: ie. warn him that if he doesn't stay in bed then he will sleep in the cot without his teddies etc. We've been going with that strategy for the last 4 weeks and it hasn't worked, he's still ending up in the cot every nap and nighttime! At night we'll put him into his bed once he's asleep and he'll generally stay there until 5am-ish when he hops out to go play with his toys (and we then put him back into the cot so we can go back to sleep). So the whole 'cot=punishment'/'bed=reward' theory has been a total flop.

So I need some ideas desperately. We're running out of time because I'd really like to put DD into the cot straight up when she comes home. We've never really been the type of parents to sit with their child til they fall asleep, I'm a big fan of them learning to self sooth and fall asleep without parental assistance. But given that I'm desperate, I'm open to ANY ideas, strategies etc etc!!

TIA original.gif , your tips are most appreciated!

#2 *mylittleprince*

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:09 PM

Have you moved him to a toddler bed or proper single bed? 19 months is very young IMO for a big bed. Are you able to borrow a cot from anyone and keep him in it for longer?

#3 Jo-Anna

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

Have you considered a basinet for the new baby to buy you some more time? I think 19 months is very early to go into a big bed and perhaps in a few months the transition may be a bit easier. I have a feeling that reasoning with a 19 month old about staying in bed may just be fighting a losing battle.

That is what I would do, but then again I am only judging off my nephew who is 2.5 and is only just beginning to be ready to go into a big bed now. Maybe someone more experienced might have some tips for you.

#4 Xander2

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

We did the same thing at pretty much the same age with DS before DD came along.

I thought it would be a few weeks of torture for a good result in the long run.  All kids are different but it was months and months of torture....even after DD was born and came home!  If I had my time over I would have bought a 2nd cot and waited until DS was a bit older.

We just did the pick him up and put him to bed with no talking etc.  It took ages and in hindsight he just wasn't ready but for some reason I was all "Well it's a waste of money buying a 2nd cot if he'll only be in it for another 6 months" but if I'd bought a 2nd cot it would have been a much less stressful 6 months!

#5 Tesseract

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:22 PM

We have DD 14 months in a 'big bed'. It's a mattress on the floor so yes she can get out of it. Some things I find have helped are:

-Using a sleeping bag rather than blankets. It's harder to get up and about in a sleeping bag!
-Minimal toys/distractions at child height in the room. She has access to her bookcase and a couple of teddies, that's it.
-Gate on her door. This way if she does get out and about she can play without any issues.

I'm not a fan of creating rewards/punishments, especially around bed and sleeping, it just creates anxiety about the whole thing. If your cot/no teddies=punishment thing had worked, he would essentially be staying in the bed out of fear that he will lose his access to his comfort items, the teddies. I don't think that's a healthy association to be creating with sleep.

You said he can get out of his bed, but can he get into it? I would make it so he can get both in and out, giving him some control over the situation. For us that meant a mattress on the floor. Then lie down with him until he is calm and relaxed, and then leave if you want (we just stay till she's asleep, but she's younger and that's more our style). If he gets up and is playing quietly and happily, I would just let him do that for a bit without making a big drama of it. He might go back to bed himself, or call you when he's ready for a cuddle and to sleep again.

#6 kiwimum2b

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

Hi. I have just put my nearly 18 month old into a toddler bed (took side off his cot and safety rail up) and like yours the 1st week when he didn't know he could get out of bed was bliss original.gif
What is working for us is making sure he is in there when he's tired..sticking to 1 daytime nap and strict bedtime (if he goes in not tired he just plays around and if overtired its even worse)
He also has a sleeping bag thing that he can still walk in which is his cue it's bedtime. I'm even stripping him off and using it for his day nap as a cue and it's working great.
If he cries I just put him back to bed, no talking etc but after 1 night when I did it about 7 times, he now just snuggles down to sleep with 1 return to bed max.

My advice to you would be to choose either bed or cot and not to use both..he basically knows he can get in the cot by getting up..if you don't think hes ready for a bed, put him back in cot an use bassinet for the baby and maybe try again in a few months..otherwise preserve with the bed..I'd say after a night or 2 of returning him to bed he'll get bored and know he may as well just go to sleep!
Good luck


#7 nakedrhubarb

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:37 PM

I would put my son to bed with the same routine - story cuddle and the tuck in before leaving ( we used a trundle bed with mattress until he was big enough to get into the big bed). The door could stay open if he stayed in his bed otherwise I would shut the door. He would hop up and play a little before going back to bed and falling asleep. I was also careful to make sure he didn't have more than one day sleep as if he fell asleep late afternoon it was a nightmare at bed time.

#8 Studybug

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:52 PM

HI there

DS is 2yrs, 3mths and we're about to take the side off his cot as he can climb out when not in a sleeping bag.  So no doubt we're about to be sleep deprived for a while too wink.gif .

I don't really have any advice (sorry!) but thought I'd share.  DH's nephew has always been an absolute dream sleeper.  SIL put him into a single bed when he was about 2.5yrs as he's a a big boy and was running out of room in the cot.  SIL was so thrilled and shocked that he transistioned with only the first two nights being disrupted (calling out, coming out of his bedroom, etc).  Because there are a couple of steps near his bedroom door in their split level home, after the first night SIL put a gate on his bedroom door so if nephew got up in the middle of the night he wouldn't fall down the stairs.  Nephew had stopped calling out after the second night.  All was well again.

Then, a few months later Grandma came to stay.  She needed a middle of the night toilet break and got up.  walking past nephew's door she noticed the light was on, and he was playing.  She went back to bed and waited.  30 minutes later, nephew turned the light off, she checked on him and he was alseep in bed.  next morning SIL had a chat with nephew, turns out he'd been getting up in the middle of the night and playing every night since the big bed intro LOl, he just wasn't coming out because of the gate and was being quiet so he wouldn't get in trouble! LOL  

Anyway, maybe the moral of this story is to get a gate, and not worry if he gets up for a play provided he gets some sleep, he is quiet and he gets back in bed when he's done lol.

Good Luck!

Edited by Studybug, 23 April 2012 - 02:54 PM.


#9 paddyboo

Posted 23 April 2012 - 03:01 PM

we are transitioning Pat now. At the moment his cot is made up like a bed (pillow/doona) but still has all 4 sides. We are using a gro bedding set. This is where the doona zips on to the fitted sheet. In a bed it stops them from falling out or kicking doona off but we are using it to stop him from moving around so much. The plus side is, with a grobag on as well, he can't get out. He can sit, but not stand. Maybe you could try that. I ordered mine from the UK as you can't get them in australia, I ordered from www.babycurls.co.uk

#10 me_n_my_kidz

Posted 23 April 2012 - 03:01 PM

Hi, we have always put them in the big bed with minimal toys in the room - just the teddies that they slept with really until they got very used to sleeping in the big bed and then I would slowly move the toys back in.

#11 Jenferal

Posted 23 April 2012 - 07:48 PM

He might feel safer in the cot which could be why he ends up in there each sleep.
I'd do as the PP's suggested and get a bassinet for the baby for a few months or a cot for her.
I can't see how saying the cot (where he was previously happy and comfortable) is the punishment is ever going to work. Do you think he really CARES he's in a big bed? I bet he doesn't. Not at less than 2 years.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Why are there so few sexy maternity bras?

Rather than feeling ashamed of their post-baby bodies, women should be free to buy lingerie that makes them look attractive and pretty - no matter what stage of life they're in.

Toddler Alliyah one step closer to first trip home

She has lived the first 14 months of her life in a hospital intensive care unit, but Alliyah Broadby's parents hope to finally take their little girl home with them.

'Put people before IVF profits': IVF pioneer Alan Trounson

IVF could be done for hundreds of dollars in Australia instead of $8500 if clinics stopped charging what ''the market will handle'', a pioneer of the technology says.

Expectant parents urged to swap the pub for bub

Nearly one in five women drink while pregnant, but a current campaign is trying to drive down that unhealthy statistic.

Nutella supplies threatened by bad weather

There's bad news for fans of Nutella, the gooey, chocolatey hazelnut spread.

The cost of growing your own vegies

Does it make financial sense to grow your own veggies, or are you better off ordering produce from the local food co-op?

Breastfeeding mums less likely to suffer from PND, but all need support

A new study has shown the a complex relationship between a mother?s intention to breastfeed, her ability to do so, and postnatal depression.

The #loveyourlines Instagram account taking on body issues

A new Instagram account, LoveYourLines, has put the call out for to change the way we view stretch marks.

Mum gets diploma 51 years after being thrown out of school over pregnancy

Sandra Lantz was about six months pregnant and four months from graduation when she was forced to leave high school. Now, more than half a century later, she has finally graduated.

The lowdown on male midwives

How would you feel about having a male midwife assist your baby's birth? For a growing number of mums, the idea is a reality - and the experts all agree that it's something that should be encouraged.

Bomb threat at daycare centre

Worried parents took to social media yesterday after their children's daycare was evacuated due to a bomb threat.

Unusual celebrity baby names

Celebrities love to use their imaginations when it comes to naming their kids! Here's a gallery of some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

5 fears I've overcome since becoming a mum

Motherhood has a way of putting any phobias you had pre-parenthood into perspective: you either realise they?re a pointless waste of energy or they simply vanish in a sleep-deprived haze.

Mums review the Dymples range from Big W

The Big W Dymples range offers parents a vast selection of quality products to keep their little ones happy and healthy. We asked the Real Mums Test Drive team to review some items - here's what they said.

Recall: Another cot deemed unsafe

Parents are being warned to check their baby's cot is not one of those which have been recalled in recent weeks due to safety concerns.

The truth about breastfeeding and weightloss

Celebrities often state that their post-baby weight loss is down to breastfeeding, and breastfeeding alone. But that's not the reality for all women.

10 weird things little kids do

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. It's usually nothing to worry about, but every now and again you might find yourself scratching your head and asking, ?Really? Is that really a thing??

The app that helps detect signs of autism

Parents can assess their children's progress at critical developmental stages, thanks to this new app.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

She went to a doctor complaining of stomach pains, then had an unexpected operation to remove a decades-old fetus.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.