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Dont know that im going to do with DS
Loves the road/ water/ bush


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#1 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:44 PM

Had a bit of a cry on the way home from the park today, im sort of at a loss of what to do with my DS 18months.

Today I look him to the park and like everyday he whinged the whole way there because he doesnt like sitting in his pram/ trike. By the time we had go to the park it had developed into a full blown tantrum.

When I let him out he was happy but like always he ran straight for the road. It happens every time I take him somewhere. While all the other kids are happy sitting there eating their lunch or playing on the grass/ play equipment DS is trying to jump into a lake if there is a lake , run into bush if there is bush around or his favourite thing - run out onto the road.

Yesterday I took him to a park with a fence around it and the first thing he did is try to find a way to get out of the gate and onto the road.

When I say stop he looks at me laughs and keeps running and when I start going after him he runs faster. If I say or even yell stop stop he just keeps on running. He doesnt listen to me.

I had a little cry on the way home because here are all of these parents having a chat while their kids are happily playing on the play equipment or eating their lunch and here is DS throwng and tantrum and the second I let him out of his pram/ trike he is off trying to run on the road with me chasing after him yelling stop stop.

Im starting to get really upset and worried because im pregnant and im only going to get bigger and slower. Im worried im not going to be quick enough and then when I have a newborn then what am I going to do? I cant dump my newborn to chase after my toddler.

Other than staying at home all day for the next few years I dont know what else to do.

Any advice?

#2 Kay1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:53 PM

You poor thing. sad.gif

I would get a harness/backpack type thing and make him wear that. Trial him off it and if he runs away you explain now he has to wear it. Or you could strap him back in the pram for a few minutes each time he runs off. Stressful though and really he's so young it will take a while for him to 'learn'.

The good news is it will get easier as he gets older as you can really teach him consequences (eg. run off go in the pram). Until then it might be that you just have to pick places that are securely fenced.  

What do you think attracts him to the road? If its because he loves cars then maybe try bringing some cars for him to play with at the park? Maybe the next few times you go take some toys and as soon as you arrive try to sit down and play with him for a while. It could be that he is trying to get your attention by running away.

Sorry, probably not much help, just brainstorming - I do know how it feels to have the child who is crying and screaming while everyone else is able to enjoy a get together.

#3 scooty

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I would start putting some sort of punishment into place. I know it doesn't sound like fun, but I would threaten to take him home everytime he started to 'play up' and throw tantrums, run on the road etc. Once he had been given a few warnings, then say to him, in your own words....Mummy asked you not to go on the road/yell at me like that/eat your lunch, and take him home to whatever naughty corner or time out place you have (even if you just arrived). He will quickly learn that you are the boss and will take away the fun from his day out if he doesn't listen to you. You need him to learn you are in charge before number 2 comes along.

I do have been doing this for a few years now with my DS and he does know I mean business. I have left his friends houses, turned around from the park or put back the toy I would have bought him at the shop, if he was getting too outta hand.

Thats all I got! Good luck, it's soooo hard.

#4 belindarama

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I don't know if will work for you but I was having a problem with DS1 going near the road at the closest park to us. I wanted it to be an option as it is just across the road. No fences though.

So I set boundaries for him, don't go off this part of the grass behind this bench etc. if he strayed near a no go area I reminded him of the rules. If he kept going we immediately left and went home.

It took probably 6 times before he got it and he screamed the whole way home each time. I just kept repeating we are leaving because you didn't stay in the safe area.

Now, at 5 it wouldn't even occur to him to go into those bits of the park. It has become second nature. I didn't need to do it with DS2 because he follows his big brother's lead.

DS1 had really good language skills at that age though. I am not sure it would work if your little one doesn't have the comprehension at that level yet.

I hope you find an answer.

Edited by belindarama, 20 April 2012 - 02:56 PM.


#5 MuppetGirl

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:14 PM

This is probably extremely poor parenting in the EB world but we had a runner, our DD could slip her hand out of yours not matter how tight you had her and she was off in a flash, she is also a very fast runner and she was even at the age of 2. It wasn't a massive problem for me though until I was heavily pregnant again.

My MIL, a teacher, gave us an idea and while we were reluctant to try it, we ended up doing it and it worked a treat.

We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.

She is still wildly active, runs for miles if we let her (at age 5 now) but she has more road sense now anyway original.gif

This option may seem off to some but when the safety of your child is your main concern I say do what works.

#6 FeralAussieFembo

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:34 PM

QUOTE (MahnaMahna @ 20/04/2012, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.

haha, love it. I know its not pc to say but teaching kids is actually a lot like training a puppy.

#7 Mose

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:47 PM

I agree with PPs on showing that there are consequences of his actions.  He is young, so it will take a while, but he will get it!

Our house has an annoying lay-out, so it has not been practical to make a barrier from the room with the tv in it to the bottom of the stairs.  So most of the time we play in the other living area, which has a gate across the entrance way, which is next to the bottom of the stairs.  

Since he learned to crawl at 10mo, DS would always leave the family room and try and head up the stairs on his own.  Each time he did it we instantly put him on the other side of the closed safety gate (i.e. in the secure room, but usually he would be on his own unless one of us was already in there) and then we would "go back to what we were doing" (i.e. walk back to the couch, he can still see us, we only ever gave it about 10 -15 seconds), and then we would go back and get him, and remind him he isn't allowed to go up the stairs on his own.

It took months, so we basically didn't watch tv with him most of the time until about 14mo he suddenly got it, when I had thought he never would!  Now we can have the gate open, he will wander between rooms, and only stop at the bottom of the stairs and say NO most of the time.  Of course I wouldn't go far enough away that I couldn't get to him and stop him before het gets past stair 1 or 2, but he has definitely learned the lesson, and on the rare occasion now he does start up on his own he knows there is a consequence - that and it usually means that he wants to go to bed!!  

Consistency and persistence were key.

Love the smartie idea!

#8 Kay1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:54 PM

QUOTE
We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.


Ha! I think that's gold! original.gif

#9 CourtesanNewton

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:56 PM

Harness was my first thought....I had a runner too.

I do like the Smarties idea though original.gif

#10 belindarama

Posted 20 April 2012 - 04:26 PM

Teaching him stop is also important. I didn't use the smarties but it is a good idea.

I just used to say stop in a loud voice and put my hands on their shoulders to stop them gently. They soon got what stop meant. Worked with both of my boys before 18 months.

#11 lady lady

Posted 20 April 2012 - 06:44 PM

Love the smarties idea!!

OP we have the same problem with water ... DD (17 months) has no fear what so ever.  At the beach she just keeps walking out until her feet can't touch and she's washing around in the white wash LAUGHING!!!!, same as at the local river nearby and take her near a pool she will just go to step in as if she can walk on water .....  very scary at times ...

DH is a surfer so we spend ALOT of time near the beach, never really the relaxing journey for me though!!!! as it's a major tanty to get her out of the water .... I would just like to build sandcastles and relax!!!

I'm truly hoping age will make her wiser and more aware, in the mean time I'm a cat on a hot tin roof as soon as there is water around ...

I would give the smarties trick a go ... I am finding very slowly DD is coming to the age where "occasionally" I can reason with her.....




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