Jump to content

Dont know that im going to do with DS
Loves the road/ water/ bush


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:44 PM

Had a bit of a cry on the way home from the park today, im sort of at a loss of what to do with my DS 18months.

Today I look him to the park and like everyday he whinged the whole way there because he doesnt like sitting in his pram/ trike. By the time we had go to the park it had developed into a full blown tantrum.

When I let him out he was happy but like always he ran straight for the road. It happens every time I take him somewhere. While all the other kids are happy sitting there eating their lunch or playing on the grass/ play equipment DS is trying to jump into a lake if there is a lake , run into bush if there is bush around or his favourite thing - run out onto the road.

Yesterday I took him to a park with a fence around it and the first thing he did is try to find a way to get out of the gate and onto the road.

When I say stop he looks at me laughs and keeps running and when I start going after him he runs faster. If I say or even yell stop stop he just keeps on running. He doesnt listen to me.

I had a little cry on the way home because here are all of these parents having a chat while their kids are happily playing on the play equipment or eating their lunch and here is DS throwng and tantrum and the second I let him out of his pram/ trike he is off trying to run on the road with me chasing after him yelling stop stop.

Im starting to get really upset and worried because im pregnant and im only going to get bigger and slower. Im worried im not going to be quick enough and then when I have a newborn then what am I going to do? I cant dump my newborn to chase after my toddler.

Other than staying at home all day for the next few years I dont know what else to do.

Any advice?

#2 Kay1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:53 PM

You poor thing. sad.gif

I would get a harness/backpack type thing and make him wear that. Trial him off it and if he runs away you explain now he has to wear it. Or you could strap him back in the pram for a few minutes each time he runs off. Stressful though and really he's so young it will take a while for him to 'learn'.

The good news is it will get easier as he gets older as you can really teach him consequences (eg. run off go in the pram). Until then it might be that you just have to pick places that are securely fenced.  

What do you think attracts him to the road? If its because he loves cars then maybe try bringing some cars for him to play with at the park? Maybe the next few times you go take some toys and as soon as you arrive try to sit down and play with him for a while. It could be that he is trying to get your attention by running away.

Sorry, probably not much help, just brainstorming - I do know how it feels to have the child who is crying and screaming while everyone else is able to enjoy a get together.

#3 scooty

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I would start putting some sort of punishment into place. I know it doesn't sound like fun, but I would threaten to take him home everytime he started to 'play up' and throw tantrums, run on the road etc. Once he had been given a few warnings, then say to him, in your own words....Mummy asked you not to go on the road/yell at me like that/eat your lunch, and take him home to whatever naughty corner or time out place you have (even if you just arrived). He will quickly learn that you are the boss and will take away the fun from his day out if he doesn't listen to you. You need him to learn you are in charge before number 2 comes along.

I do have been doing this for a few years now with my DS and he does know I mean business. I have left his friends houses, turned around from the park or put back the toy I would have bought him at the shop, if he was getting too outta hand.

Thats all I got! Good luck, it's soooo hard.

#4 belindarama

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I don't know if will work for you but I was having a problem with DS1 going near the road at the closest park to us. I wanted it to be an option as it is just across the road. No fences though.

So I set boundaries for him, don't go off this part of the grass behind this bench etc. if he strayed near a no go area I reminded him of the rules. If he kept going we immediately left and went home.

It took probably 6 times before he got it and he screamed the whole way home each time. I just kept repeating we are leaving because you didn't stay in the safe area.

Now, at 5 it wouldn't even occur to him to go into those bits of the park. It has become second nature. I didn't need to do it with DS2 because he follows his big brother's lead.

DS1 had really good language skills at that age though. I am not sure it would work if your little one doesn't have the comprehension at that level yet.

I hope you find an answer.

Edited by belindarama, 20 April 2012 - 02:56 PM.


#5 MuppetGirl

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:14 PM

This is probably extremely poor parenting in the EB world but we had a runner, our DD could slip her hand out of yours not matter how tight you had her and she was off in a flash, she is also a very fast runner and she was even at the age of 2. It wasn't a massive problem for me though until I was heavily pregnant again.

My MIL, a teacher, gave us an idea and while we were reluctant to try it, we ended up doing it and it worked a treat.

We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.

She is still wildly active, runs for miles if we let her (at age 5 now) but she has more road sense now anyway original.gif

This option may seem off to some but when the safety of your child is your main concern I say do what works.

#6 FeralFP

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:34 PM

QUOTE (MahnaMahna @ 20/04/2012, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.

haha, love it. I know its not pc to say but teaching kids is actually a lot like training a puppy.

#7 Mose

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:47 PM

I agree with PPs on showing that there are consequences of his actions.  He is young, so it will take a while, but he will get it!

Our house has an annoying lay-out, so it has not been practical to make a barrier from the room with the tv in it to the bottom of the stairs.  So most of the time we play in the other living area, which has a gate across the entrance way, which is next to the bottom of the stairs.  

Since he learned to crawl at 10mo, DS would always leave the family room and try and head up the stairs on his own.  Each time he did it we instantly put him on the other side of the closed safety gate (i.e. in the secure room, but usually he would be on his own unless one of us was already in there) and then we would "go back to what we were doing" (i.e. walk back to the couch, he can still see us, we only ever gave it about 10 -15 seconds), and then we would go back and get him, and remind him he isn't allowed to go up the stairs on his own.

It took months, so we basically didn't watch tv with him most of the time until about 14mo he suddenly got it, when I had thought he never would!  Now we can have the gate open, he will wander between rooms, and only stop at the bottom of the stairs and say NO most of the time.  Of course I wouldn't go far enough away that I couldn't get to him and stop him before het gets past stair 1 or 2, but he has definitely learned the lesson, and on the rare occasion now he does start up on his own he knows there is a consequence - that and it usually means that he wants to go to bed!!  

Consistency and persistence were key.

Love the smartie idea!

#8 Kay1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:54 PM

QUOTE
We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.


Ha! I think that's gold! original.gif

#9 HandsOnNewton

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:56 PM

Harness was my first thought....I had a runner too.

I do like the Smarties idea though original.gif

#10 belindarama

Posted 20 April 2012 - 04:26 PM

Teaching him stop is also important. I didn't use the smarties but it is a good idea.

I just used to say stop in a loud voice and put my hands on their shoulders to stop them gently. They soon got what stop meant. Worked with both of my boys before 18 months.

#11 lady lady

Posted 20 April 2012 - 06:44 PM

Love the smarties idea!!

OP we have the same problem with water ... DD (17 months) has no fear what so ever.  At the beach she just keeps walking out until her feet can't touch and she's washing around in the white wash LAUGHING!!!!, same as at the local river nearby and take her near a pool she will just go to step in as if she can walk on water .....  very scary at times ...

DH is a surfer so we spend ALOT of time near the beach, never really the relaxing journey for me though!!!! as it's a major tanty to get her out of the water .... I would just like to build sandcastles and relax!!!

I'm truly hoping age will make her wiser and more aware, in the mean time I'm a cat on a hot tin roof as soon as there is water around ...

I would give the smarties trick a go ... I am finding very slowly DD is coming to the age where "occasionally" I can reason with her.....




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.