Jump to content

Dont know that im going to do with DS
Loves the road/ water/ bush


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:44 PM

Had a bit of a cry on the way home from the park today, im sort of at a loss of what to do with my DS 18months.

Today I look him to the park and like everyday he whinged the whole way there because he doesnt like sitting in his pram/ trike. By the time we had go to the park it had developed into a full blown tantrum.

When I let him out he was happy but like always he ran straight for the road. It happens every time I take him somewhere. While all the other kids are happy sitting there eating their lunch or playing on the grass/ play equipment DS is trying to jump into a lake if there is a lake , run into bush if there is bush around or his favourite thing - run out onto the road.

Yesterday I took him to a park with a fence around it and the first thing he did is try to find a way to get out of the gate and onto the road.

When I say stop he looks at me laughs and keeps running and when I start going after him he runs faster. If I say or even yell stop stop he just keeps on running. He doesnt listen to me.

I had a little cry on the way home because here are all of these parents having a chat while their kids are happily playing on the play equipment or eating their lunch and here is DS throwng and tantrum and the second I let him out of his pram/ trike he is off trying to run on the road with me chasing after him yelling stop stop.

Im starting to get really upset and worried because im pregnant and im only going to get bigger and slower. Im worried im not going to be quick enough and then when I have a newborn then what am I going to do? I cant dump my newborn to chase after my toddler.

Other than staying at home all day for the next few years I dont know what else to do.

Any advice?

#2 Kay1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:53 PM

You poor thing. sad.gif

I would get a harness/backpack type thing and make him wear that. Trial him off it and if he runs away you explain now he has to wear it. Or you could strap him back in the pram for a few minutes each time he runs off. Stressful though and really he's so young it will take a while for him to 'learn'.

The good news is it will get easier as he gets older as you can really teach him consequences (eg. run off go in the pram). Until then it might be that you just have to pick places that are securely fenced.  

What do you think attracts him to the road? If its because he loves cars then maybe try bringing some cars for him to play with at the park? Maybe the next few times you go take some toys and as soon as you arrive try to sit down and play with him for a while. It could be that he is trying to get your attention by running away.

Sorry, probably not much help, just brainstorming - I do know how it feels to have the child who is crying and screaming while everyone else is able to enjoy a get together.

#3 scooty

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I would start putting some sort of punishment into place. I know it doesn't sound like fun, but I would threaten to take him home everytime he started to 'play up' and throw tantrums, run on the road etc. Once he had been given a few warnings, then say to him, in your own words....Mummy asked you not to go on the road/yell at me like that/eat your lunch, and take him home to whatever naughty corner or time out place you have (even if you just arrived). He will quickly learn that you are the boss and will take away the fun from his day out if he doesn't listen to you. You need him to learn you are in charge before number 2 comes along.

I do have been doing this for a few years now with my DS and he does know I mean business. I have left his friends houses, turned around from the park or put back the toy I would have bought him at the shop, if he was getting too outta hand.

Thats all I got! Good luck, it's soooo hard.

#4 belindarama

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I don't know if will work for you but I was having a problem with DS1 going near the road at the closest park to us. I wanted it to be an option as it is just across the road. No fences though.

So I set boundaries for him, don't go off this part of the grass behind this bench etc. if he strayed near a no go area I reminded him of the rules. If he kept going we immediately left and went home.

It took probably 6 times before he got it and he screamed the whole way home each time. I just kept repeating we are leaving because you didn't stay in the safe area.

Now, at 5 it wouldn't even occur to him to go into those bits of the park. It has become second nature. I didn't need to do it with DS2 because he follows his big brother's lead.

DS1 had really good language skills at that age though. I am not sure it would work if your little one doesn't have the comprehension at that level yet.

I hope you find an answer.

Edited by belindarama, 20 April 2012 - 02:56 PM.


#5 MuppetGirl

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:14 PM

This is probably extremely poor parenting in the EB world but we had a runner, our DD could slip her hand out of yours not matter how tight you had her and she was off in a flash, she is also a very fast runner and she was even at the age of 2. It wasn't a massive problem for me though until I was heavily pregnant again.

My MIL, a teacher, gave us an idea and while we were reluctant to try it, we ended up doing it and it worked a treat.

We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.

She is still wildly active, runs for miles if we let her (at age 5 now) but she has more road sense now anyway original.gif

This option may seem off to some but when the safety of your child is your main concern I say do what works.

#6 MsFeralPerthFembo

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:34 PM

QUOTE (MahnaMahna @ 20/04/2012, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.

haha, love it. I know its not pc to say but teaching kids is actually a lot like training a puppy.

#7 Mose

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:47 PM

I agree with PPs on showing that there are consequences of his actions.  He is young, so it will take a while, but he will get it!

Our house has an annoying lay-out, so it has not been practical to make a barrier from the room with the tv in it to the bottom of the stairs.  So most of the time we play in the other living area, which has a gate across the entrance way, which is next to the bottom of the stairs.  

Since he learned to crawl at 10mo, DS would always leave the family room and try and head up the stairs on his own.  Each time he did it we instantly put him on the other side of the closed safety gate (i.e. in the secure room, but usually he would be on his own unless one of us was already in there) and then we would "go back to what we were doing" (i.e. walk back to the couch, he can still see us, we only ever gave it about 10 -15 seconds), and then we would go back and get him, and remind him he isn't allowed to go up the stairs on his own.

It took months, so we basically didn't watch tv with him most of the time until about 14mo he suddenly got it, when I had thought he never would!  Now we can have the gate open, he will wander between rooms, and only stop at the bottom of the stairs and say NO most of the time.  Of course I wouldn't go far enough away that I couldn't get to him and stop him before het gets past stair 1 or 2, but he has definitely learned the lesson, and on the rare occasion now he does start up on his own he knows there is a consequence - that and it usually means that he wants to go to bed!!  

Consistency and persistence were key.

Love the smartie idea!

#8 Kay1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:54 PM

QUOTE
We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.


Ha! I think that's gold! original.gif

#9 CourtesanNewton

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:56 PM

Harness was my first thought....I had a runner too.

I do like the Smarties idea though original.gif

#10 belindarama

Posted 20 April 2012 - 04:26 PM

Teaching him stop is also important. I didn't use the smarties but it is a good idea.

I just used to say stop in a loud voice and put my hands on their shoulders to stop them gently. They soon got what stop meant. Worked with both of my boys before 18 months.

#11 lady lady

Posted 20 April 2012 - 06:44 PM

Love the smarties idea!!

OP we have the same problem with water ... DD (17 months) has no fear what so ever.  At the beach she just keeps walking out until her feet can't touch and she's washing around in the white wash LAUGHING!!!!, same as at the local river nearby and take her near a pool she will just go to step in as if she can walk on water .....  very scary at times ...

DH is a surfer so we spend ALOT of time near the beach, never really the relaxing journey for me though!!!! as it's a major tanty to get her out of the water .... I would just like to build sandcastles and relax!!!

I'm truly hoping age will make her wiser and more aware, in the mean time I'm a cat on a hot tin roof as soon as there is water around ...

I would give the smarties trick a go ... I am finding very slowly DD is coming to the age where "occasionally" I can reason with her.....




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.