Jump to content

Dont know that im going to do with DS
Loves the road/ water/ bush


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:44 PM

Had a bit of a cry on the way home from the park today, im sort of at a loss of what to do with my DS 18months.

Today I look him to the park and like everyday he whinged the whole way there because he doesnt like sitting in his pram/ trike. By the time we had go to the park it had developed into a full blown tantrum.

When I let him out he was happy but like always he ran straight for the road. It happens every time I take him somewhere. While all the other kids are happy sitting there eating their lunch or playing on the grass/ play equipment DS is trying to jump into a lake if there is a lake , run into bush if there is bush around or his favourite thing - run out onto the road.

Yesterday I took him to a park with a fence around it and the first thing he did is try to find a way to get out of the gate and onto the road.

When I say stop he looks at me laughs and keeps running and when I start going after him he runs faster. If I say or even yell stop stop he just keeps on running. He doesnt listen to me.

I had a little cry on the way home because here are all of these parents having a chat while their kids are happily playing on the play equipment or eating their lunch and here is DS throwng and tantrum and the second I let him out of his pram/ trike he is off trying to run on the road with me chasing after him yelling stop stop.

Im starting to get really upset and worried because im pregnant and im only going to get bigger and slower. Im worried im not going to be quick enough and then when I have a newborn then what am I going to do? I cant dump my newborn to chase after my toddler.

Other than staying at home all day for the next few years I dont know what else to do.

Any advice?

#2 Kay1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:53 PM

You poor thing. sad.gif

I would get a harness/backpack type thing and make him wear that. Trial him off it and if he runs away you explain now he has to wear it. Or you could strap him back in the pram for a few minutes each time he runs off. Stressful though and really he's so young it will take a while for him to 'learn'.

The good news is it will get easier as he gets older as you can really teach him consequences (eg. run off go in the pram). Until then it might be that you just have to pick places that are securely fenced.  

What do you think attracts him to the road? If its because he loves cars then maybe try bringing some cars for him to play with at the park? Maybe the next few times you go take some toys and as soon as you arrive try to sit down and play with him for a while. It could be that he is trying to get your attention by running away.

Sorry, probably not much help, just brainstorming - I do know how it feels to have the child who is crying and screaming while everyone else is able to enjoy a get together.

#3 scooty

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I would start putting some sort of punishment into place. I know it doesn't sound like fun, but I would threaten to take him home everytime he started to 'play up' and throw tantrums, run on the road etc. Once he had been given a few warnings, then say to him, in your own words....Mummy asked you not to go on the road/yell at me like that/eat your lunch, and take him home to whatever naughty corner or time out place you have (even if you just arrived). He will quickly learn that you are the boss and will take away the fun from his day out if he doesn't listen to you. You need him to learn you are in charge before number 2 comes along.

I do have been doing this for a few years now with my DS and he does know I mean business. I have left his friends houses, turned around from the park or put back the toy I would have bought him at the shop, if he was getting too outta hand.

Thats all I got! Good luck, it's soooo hard.

#4 belindarama

Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I don't know if will work for you but I was having a problem with DS1 going near the road at the closest park to us. I wanted it to be an option as it is just across the road. No fences though.

So I set boundaries for him, don't go off this part of the grass behind this bench etc. if he strayed near a no go area I reminded him of the rules. If he kept going we immediately left and went home.

It took probably 6 times before he got it and he screamed the whole way home each time. I just kept repeating we are leaving because you didn't stay in the safe area.

Now, at 5 it wouldn't even occur to him to go into those bits of the park. It has become second nature. I didn't need to do it with DS2 because he follows his big brother's lead.

DS1 had really good language skills at that age though. I am not sure it would work if your little one doesn't have the comprehension at that level yet.

I hope you find an answer.

Edited by belindarama, 20 April 2012 - 02:56 PM.


#5 MuppetGirl

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:14 PM

This is probably extremely poor parenting in the EB world but we had a runner, our DD could slip her hand out of yours not matter how tight you had her and she was off in a flash, she is also a very fast runner and she was even at the age of 2. It wasn't a massive problem for me though until I was heavily pregnant again.

My MIL, a teacher, gave us an idea and while we were reluctant to try it, we ended up doing it and it worked a treat.

We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.

She is still wildly active, runs for miles if we let her (at age 5 now) but she has more road sense now anyway original.gif

This option may seem off to some but when the safety of your child is your main concern I say do what works.

#6 FeralPerthFembo

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:34 PM

QUOTE (MahnaMahna @ 20/04/2012, 02:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.

haha, love it. I know its not pc to say but teaching kids is actually a lot like training a puppy.

#7 Mose

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:47 PM

I agree with PPs on showing that there are consequences of his actions.  He is young, so it will take a while, but he will get it!

Our house has an annoying lay-out, so it has not been practical to make a barrier from the room with the tv in it to the bottom of the stairs.  So most of the time we play in the other living area, which has a gate across the entrance way, which is next to the bottom of the stairs.  

Since he learned to crawl at 10mo, DS would always leave the family room and try and head up the stairs on his own.  Each time he did it we instantly put him on the other side of the closed safety gate (i.e. in the secure room, but usually he would be on his own unless one of us was already in there) and then we would "go back to what we were doing" (i.e. walk back to the couch, he can still see us, we only ever gave it about 10 -15 seconds), and then we would go back and get him, and remind him he isn't allowed to go up the stairs on his own.

It took months, so we basically didn't watch tv with him most of the time until about 14mo he suddenly got it, when I had thought he never would!  Now we can have the gate open, he will wander between rooms, and only stop at the bottom of the stairs and say NO most of the time.  Of course I wouldn't go far enough away that I couldn't get to him and stop him before het gets past stair 1 or 2, but he has definitely learned the lesson, and on the rare occasion now he does start up on his own he knows there is a consequence - that and it usually means that he wants to go to bed!!  

Consistency and persistence were key.

Love the smartie idea!

#8 Kay1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:54 PM

QUOTE
We got a box of smarties, went in to the backyard and showed her the smarties. We told her she got a smartie everytime she stopped as soon as we yelled STOP. So she would be playing out the back, running around and every now and then one of us would yell STOP. The first few times she didn't of course but when she realised she wasn't getting any smarties she started stopping.

Once she got the hang of doing it at home I trialled it while out at the park and it was brilliant. Of course for the first few park visits I took some smarties but in no time at all it just became normal for her to stop and not need anything.


Ha! I think that's gold! original.gif

#9 PigNewton

Posted 20 April 2012 - 03:56 PM

Harness was my first thought....I had a runner too.

I do like the Smarties idea though original.gif

#10 belindarama

Posted 20 April 2012 - 04:26 PM

Teaching him stop is also important. I didn't use the smarties but it is a good idea.

I just used to say stop in a loud voice and put my hands on their shoulders to stop them gently. They soon got what stop meant. Worked with both of my boys before 18 months.

#11 lady lady

Posted 20 April 2012 - 06:44 PM

Love the smarties idea!!

OP we have the same problem with water ... DD (17 months) has no fear what so ever.  At the beach she just keeps walking out until her feet can't touch and she's washing around in the white wash LAUGHING!!!!, same as at the local river nearby and take her near a pool she will just go to step in as if she can walk on water .....  very scary at times ...

DH is a surfer so we spend ALOT of time near the beach, never really the relaxing journey for me though!!!! as it's a major tanty to get her out of the water .... I would just like to build sandcastles and relax!!!

I'm truly hoping age will make her wiser and more aware, in the mean time I'm a cat on a hot tin roof as soon as there is water around ...

I would give the smarties trick a go ... I am finding very slowly DD is coming to the age where "occasionally" I can reason with her.....




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

In a bizarre bid for relevancy, Former Opposition leader Mark Latham has deduced that because one female journalist had this week light-heartedly thanked antidepressants and caffeine for getting her through a medical degree while raising two small children, that ergo, all 'inner-city feminists' are selfish harridans who despise their offspring.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Metal shards hidden in playground

Pieces of sharp metal have been seemingly deliberately placed in rubber matting and across equipment at a kids' playground.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.