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(spinoff) What's the most difficult thing you have been through
Physical and/or mental

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110 replies to this topic

#1 CallMeFeral

Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:17 AM

I know in some cases this will overlap with the worst thing that's ever happened, so perhaps this thread would be more for the things that are outside that.

For me, mentally it was probably when DD had colic - just the experience of the child being in so much pain and not being able to help. It's not the worst thing that's happened because it's pretty standard really, and no lasting damage - but I remember it being mental torture at the time.

Physically, probably childbirth.

#2 Coffeegirl

Posted 20 April 2012 - 06:15 AM

Physically? Getting hit by a car.   Took 6 mths to recover and almost a year of walking with a cane.  I did fall pregnant with DD during this time, so a silver lining!

Mentally? All within  4 months -  my closest friend (and cousin) while growing up committed suicide unexpectedly, I was made redundant out of the blue from a job I loved and I was hit by a car.

#3 BentoBaby

Posted 20 April 2012 - 06:22 AM

Physically probably pregnancy (very sick for most of it)
Emotionally & mentally probably the first 20 weeks of DSs life.

#4 marley*and*me

Posted 20 April 2012 - 06:32 AM

Leaving hospital without my daughter.
Never hearing my daughter cry.
Never seeing my daughter open her eyes.

Edited by marley*and*me, 20 April 2012 - 06:33 AM.

#5 Pop-to-the-shops

Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:04 AM

Tough to read pp's.... the title says it all.

For me it was two suicides, a friend and relative in the same year.
And then a third relative years later in terrible circumstances.. It's so tough for the families.

#6 MintyBiscuit

Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:07 AM

Physically, childbirth. I was incredibly proud of what I did, but it was incredibly hard work. The pregnancy was also exhausting and fairly miserable, but luckily the payoff is pretty sweet.

Mentally, the hardest was probably dealing with depression for the better part of ten years. It got very, very bad at various points, and when I finally admitted I needed help and got it there was still hard work to be done, but I can look at it now as something I've beaten.

Physically and mentally, DH's mother dying very quickly was incredibly hard. I'd seen plenty of death in my family and worked through grief of my own, but watching DH in so much pain broke my heart. She so wanted to be a grandmother, and passed away before we got pregnant so never saw any grandchildren.

#7 dessiesgirl

Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:20 AM

My dad dying suddenly from a heart attack, the day after DH had been made redundant. Then, 6 weeks later, DH's father died in the UK. We knew he was sick and had booked tickets to visit, but sadly left it too late.

Both of our mothers, and an aunty and uncle who had been very close to DH, died within the next 5 years. It was very hard time to lose so many people who had been so important in our lives, in such a short  space of time.

#8 JRA

Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:37 AM

Too hard to answer, I really don't know.

At the moment it feels like dealing with living permanently on crutches, not being able to go for walks / rides/ scoots with my son and the affect that is having on our lives.

But that is because that is current. Was going through breast cancer more difficult, I don't know. Was dealing with DH parents and my mum dying within 10 mths, his mum and my mum 2 weeks apart harder, I don't know. Dealing with the three parents going through illness prior to dying at the same time harder, I don't know.

The other thing probably was driving away in dad's ute with him in tears saying "why are you taking it away?", when his licence was removed because he was't up to driving anymore.

I just don't know

#9 CFMummy

Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:40 AM

Mentaly finding out my DD2 has CF and all that involvs.
Physicaly all of high school due to bullying I still have scars from getting kicked and my front tooth is a constant reminder

#10 sparkle77

Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:42 AM

Stillbirth.  The birth was the easy part.  The aftermath was and is horrific.

#11 Faradaye

Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:49 AM

For me it was probably when we were struggling terribly with running our own business.  We ended up losing everything.  Our house, both our cars, had nothing in the bank and walked away with huge credit card debt and a black mark on our credit rating.

We were served by a process server a court summons at one stage.

We missed declaring personal bankruptcy by a whisker.

It was truly horrible.  But it seems so long ago now that it is like it happened to someone else.  Six years on we are settling on our new house next week!

Physically the hardest would have to be my pregnancy during this time.  I had severe HG and constant migraines but couldn't stop work because my wage was the only income we had.

#12 Guest_Starletta_*

Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:53 AM

QUOTE (sparkle77 @ 20/04/2012, 07:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Stillbirth.  The birth was the easy part.  The aftermath was and is horrific.

Me too.

#13 ~Mo+Moosh~

Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:59 AM

Finding out I had to have brain surgery when my first born was only 5 weeks old. I know it was a very fortunate series of events that led us to finding out about my aneurysm, that ultimately saved my life. But I was a new mum trying to find my feet. He was 4 months old when I had the operation and I think my determination to continue breastfeeding him helped get me through. It was difficult but I learned I was tougher than I'd ever given myself credit for.

#14 suzy-c

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:01 AM

Stillbirth, and knowing he was gone from before I went into labour. Childbirth=harrowing, but there's usually a reward at the end. I knew I'd get nothing, from before the first contraction.

Before that? "Forensic restoration" of my father's bedroom, after he had died there, alone and in a remote area, and not been discovered for a week, in a heatwave.

#15 Possum_gal

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:03 AM

Physically- having my hip finally give up and me having a THR. I went from going to gym 6 days a week, to be drugged on pain relief, on crutches, barely being able to move. But all good now, back to gym, running and doing great.

Mentally- Making the decision to cut people from my life. To do this day I often wonder did I do the right thing. But I know at the time it was the right thing. I just regret doing it for my parents sake. Seeing the pain in mum's eyes, when others can't seem to put our differences aside for mum and dad and just act civil for their sake. To constantly feeling like a cow for putting mum through that, especially when she gets excited at the thought of finally having a photo of all her grandchildren together, but doesn't happen. Somedays I feel like just running away from them all, then mum and dad wouldn't have that worry anymore about family functions.

#16 Halcyon~

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:03 AM

Our 12 journey through nicu and watching dd endure all of the pain and procedures.
The death I my dad who was my rock and biggest supporter in life.

#17 andyk

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:10 AM

Infertility, Ivf, and miscarriage..
Also stillbirth of our best friends little boy, wouldn't assume we know their pain but it is so devestating to watch people you love in so much pain and not be able to help.

#18 WhatWouldBuffyDo

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:11 AM

My recent problems and temporary split with DH. I was barely holding myself together. Wouldn't eat, lived on water and energy drinks for a week, the only thing i ate in that time was half a sausage roll, because i was forced to. I dropped 10kg in roughly 3 weeks, at my worst, i weighed 45kgs.
The only thing that got me through this time, was work. I could go to work and just zone. My boss was so understanding so she didnt put me on registers, i just did stock.
I couldn't even keep it together for the kids, every time i looked at them, i saw DH.

Edited by WhatWouldBuffyDo, 20 April 2012 - 08:16 AM.

#19 opethmum

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:12 AM

I know this is a heartbreaking thread, could the OP change the title or mention something to warn people as there are several distressing things that have happened.

#20 lovingmother

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:20 AM

The most difficult thing I've been through, Physical Would have to be getting very sick and spending a 2 1/2 weeks in hospital.  mental having to go every six months to the hospital and wondering if they are going to say times up we have to book you in for a hysterectomy now and the i'm sorry you can't have any more children.

#21 cameo

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:22 AM

TTC for a year, falling pregnant without knowing, finding out it was ectopic, being treated in the maternity ward with a needle in my bottom that got rid of my little baby.
TTC for another year, falling pregnant, being over the moon, starting to bleed, having a week of hospital visits, scans, blood tests to finally confirm it was another ectopic. Having to spend night in maternity ward again awaiting surgery to remove my tube and my other little baby.
TTC again and finally falling pregnant the month before starting IVF.

Hardest time of my life and almost destroyed me and my marriage.

#22 Phoenix Blue

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:23 AM

Physically, I'm very lucky and really haven't had anything physically challenging in my life. Except for self induced like sports competition.

Mentally, DS2 being born with a undiagnosed heart condition and having to deal with that. And then the very near disintegration of my relationship which included a domestic violence incident.

#23 librablonde

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:27 AM

My m/c and the deep grief/depression afterwards. Actually, I've been depressed up and down since starting IVF, and it was a shock as I'd never been depressed before that. I didn't realise how debilitating it could be. I'm working really hard to shake it off now, but it just comes in cycles.

#24 suzy-c

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:30 AM

QUOTE (opethmum @ 20/04/2012, 08:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I know this is a heartbreaking thread, could the OP change the title or mention something to warn people as there are several distressing things that have happened.

I think the title is adequate, as it is. "What's the most difficult thing you have been through" is going to be distressing to read. Personally, I was glad to see that some people's most difficult thing was a business problem or something that turned out fine in the end. Glad it worked out, not glad it happened, of course.

I was actually holding back, but some experiences I prefer to keep to myself.

#25 itsaboysworld

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:32 AM

physically, pretty much the daily grind of getting my body to move.

Mentally, so many. The loss of two pgs. The dx's of the boys and the various times we came close to losing them. Losing DH. Going to the viewing to find the funeral director hadnt bothered to attempt makeup r even to close the wounds two weeks post autopsy, I will NEVER get over that sight EVER and having to tell my boys after a week of preparing them they couldnt see their dad one last time to say good bye. Having to go through an 11 page autopsy report with a fine tooth comb, to find so many errors that when we finally got to the Inquest, it had to be adjourned so the pathologist could go back and rewrite his autopsy report. No one should have to read an autopsy report that extensive and detailed and have to argue for it to be done properly. Having to sit and listen to the people describe what they did that caused my husbands death like they were describing baking a cake. Being told I had a degenerative neurological disease and what that means for my boys. The list goes on. Right now im going through some major emotional stuff and I might find one day this was the hardest time of my life.

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