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Getting married for a second time, to the same person.....


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#26 LynnyP

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:37 PM

I wouldn't but the actual ceremony and the day was almost entirely unimportant to me.  For me, it is the relationship that matters (as it is for most people) and the wedding was a way of getting there without it having any value in its own right.  I don't even really know why being married as opposed to being committed to each otehr privately was important to me, but it was.

I adore my husband of 31 years (although saying it gets me flamed on EB) but the chances of my renewing my vows without something like a significant cash incentive from a reality TV show are almost zero.

#27 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:40 PM

DH and I agreed on two weddings but only had one. I told him
I refused to get married unless I was barefoot and pregnant on the beach (because at that point I was never getting married or having kids).  When I ended up pregnant (still trying to work out how the hell that happened when we were using 2 reliable types of contraception) we agreed to get married. I only wanted immediate family and DH wanted everyone. We agreed to do the small intimate (barefoot and pregnant wink.gif) beach wedding here but always planned to go back to England for the full she-bang as DH wanted the whole meringue dress, church wedding deal.

It still hasn't happened (we'll be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary this year) but we're both fine with that. It probably never will now.

If you want to do it, go ahead. original.gif It's all about you guys.



#28 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:43 PM

QUOTE (JustLynn @ 18/04/2012, 07:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldn't but the actual ceremony and the day was almost entirely unimportant to me.  For me, it is the relationship that matters (as it is for most people) and the wedding was a way of getting there without it having any value in its own right.  I don't even really know why being married as opposed to being committed to each otehr privately was important to me, but it was.


I so agree with this. For me, the only reason I got married was because I wanted my kids and my partner and I to all share the same name. DH had actually asked before and I said no, but once I got pregnant, we agreed marriage was the way to go.

#29 JustBeige

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:48 PM

QUOTE (A.K.A @ 18/04/2012, 06:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would you do it or do you think it's just a complete waste of time &/or money? We have been married for a while now and I think I'd do it again, just because of a series of circumstances led to our day being pretty marred.

So, would you?

Renewing our vows is something that we have always wanted to do.  We did plan on doing it every 10years, but then when 10years came around it felt a bit hokey (to us).  We have put it on the backburner and have agreed that if I havent stabbed him in frustration by 30yrs we will consider doing it then tongue.gif.   We also thought we would just do a registry office or island (holiday) ceremony just for us.

In regards to you having some unpleasent memories of your wedding day, then I say, why not.   If you think this reaffirmation will be important to both of you and a lovely memory, then there is really nothing stopping you.

I would start by calling a couple of celebrants and sounding them out.

#30 JennyH

Posted 18 April 2012 - 08:15 PM

Everyone I know who has done the renewal of vows with bells and whistles has been marriage on the rocks via one partner cheating and them trying to make good a relationship that wasn't working  ph34r.gif

They have all split up within a year of the renewal of vows,

So for me, renewal of vows is dealt with sceptically.

#31 lovinmybaby

Posted 18 April 2012 - 08:24 PM

I want to, and in the future, if we have the money to do so, we will. Its a personal choice and not for everyone, but if you want to, go for it. It doesn't have to be lavish.

#32 NotRocketScience

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:35 PM

I would renew my vows in a heart beat but wouldn't have another wedding as in the whole day all over again with all the bells and whistles. I honestly see it as a huge waste of money that could be spent much better elsewhere.

#33 A.K.A

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:35 PM

We didn't have a big wedding (there was a total of 6 people there when it happened and we spent <$500), since then we've copped some flack for not inviting the family but that's not the reason I want to do it again. I think I just enjoyed the idea of it, the romantic side of it.

Maybe on our 10 year anniversary?

#34 Madeline's Mum

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:42 PM

I'm with Maybelle, if we were to renew our vows it would be in Vegas with dearest Elvis officiating the event (which is what I wanted originally but DH wanted the big white wedding)!

#35 Cath-In-SA

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:45 PM

I'm with Maybelle - Vegas, Baby!  Chapel o Lurve, Elvis optional.  This is for a vow renewal, of course.  No one else in attendance, apart from the kids if we make it there before they turn 30  wink.gif

My only question would be, would having a nice wedding now really take away the memories of the first wedding and all it's suckiness?

I am probably more inclined just to have a massive anniversary party one year inviting all the people who were there (and you still want there) and all the people you wished were there.

#36 Etcetera

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:48 PM

Depends on your reasons for doing so.

Every couple I know thwt have renewed their vows, hsve broken up not long after. I guess the vow renewal was a last ditch effort to make it work.

#37 Wolf_cubs

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:54 PM

I would quite like to do a renewal of vows in Las Vegas, complete with the Elvis impersonator - I'm not sure why original.gif.
Just as part of the whole trip to the USA experience I think. Might try and organise it for our 25th Anniversary (in 5yrs time).



#38 Liadan

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:01 PM

The only "renewal of vows" I've been to, was for family friends. She has a degenerative muscular disease, and while we all know how much he loves her, and will be by her side until the end, it was really lovely and symbolic. And I think it was important to THEM.

#39 Kucingcantik

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:05 PM

I really liked the idea of doing a vow renewal, just DH, myself and our child(ren maybe) somewhere tropical and simple. But then I picture actually doing it and it just doesn't seem quite right to me. For what purpose are we doing it? We have already pledged our love to each other and to forsake others for the rest of our lives. The rest of our lives isn't over, that original promise still stands in ten years time or twenty or whatever.

However, there is still some attraction to the idea. Maybe we will just go on a big anniversary trip and read our original vows to each other in private in a beautiful setting on our 10th anniversary.

#40 ~Fuzjuz~

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:30 PM

QUOTE (A.K.A @ 18/04/2012, 06:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would you do it or do you think it's just a complete waste of time &/or money? We have been married for a while now and I think I'd do it again, just because of a series of circumstances led to our day being pretty marred.

So, would you?


Yes. Hubby & I are planning to renew vows on our 17th anniversary next year. wub.gif We've wanted to do it for a few years & are finally planning it.
Nothing too fancy & will be so nice to not have some of the people from our wedding there.  biggrin.gif Also getting the cake I want, not what my Mum wanted.  rolleyes.gif Think we'll just go out for dinner that night? I'm really looking forward to it.  ddance.gif

#41 Mamabug

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:38 PM

QUOTE (~Fuzjuz~ @ 18/04/2012, 10:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Also getting the cake I want, not what my Mum wanted.  rolleyes.gif

Oooh...share?

#42 ~Fuzjuz~

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:41 PM

QUOTE (Mamabug @ 18/04/2012, 10:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oooh...share?


Nothing exciting sorry. I wanted mud cake & Mum was like nahhh fruit is better blah blah so I went with that. So this is going to be mud cake, yum. Similar to my original cake but not fruit, I hate fruit cake! sad.gif

#43 Lexico27

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:47 PM

We renewed our vows this year (10 year anniversary) while we were overseas. No guests present but the children. Oldest son read a poem, it was casual, barefoot on the beach and very meaningful. This was all arranged by my husband without my knowledge and was a surprise!

Edited by Lexico27, 18 April 2012 - 10:49 PM.


#44 ~*Erica*~

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:52 PM

QUOTE (Madeline's Mum @ 18/04/2012, 07:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm with Maybelle, if we were to renew our vows it would be in Vegas with dearest Elvis officiating the event (which is what I wanted originally but DH wanted the big white wedding)!

We'd do it with Elvis.

QUOTE
We didn't have a big wedding (there was a total of 6 people there when it happened and we spent <$500), since then we've copped some flack for not inviting the family but that's not the reason I want to do it again. I think I just enjoyed the idea of it, the romantic side of it.

Maybe on our 10 year anniversary?

We got married in Bali and only had 6 people there.  It was great and what we wanted.

We renewed our vows for our 10 year anniversary and also had our marriage blessed by the Catholic Church.  My Mum had just been diagnosed with Liver Cancer and I knew it was important to her and to me.  So  we did it.  It wasn't a big thing and there were no presents.  We live in a remote area and just had a small bbq afterwards at our house.  My Mum was too sick to attend.  DH and I had a fun day and the kids were involved.  It was nice and we had fun.  We still copped flack for not letting the rest of the family know so they could attend.  Happens.

Renew your vows if you want OP.  Make as big a deal of it or as little.  It's up to you.  Just enjoy it.  original.gif




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