Jump to content

Getting married for a second time, to the same person.....


  • Please log in to reply
43 replies to this topic

#26 LynnyP

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:37 PM

I wouldn't but the actual ceremony and the day was almost entirely unimportant to me.  For me, it is the relationship that matters (as it is for most people) and the wedding was a way of getting there without it having any value in its own right.  I don't even really know why being married as opposed to being committed to each otehr privately was important to me, but it was.

I adore my husband of 31 years (although saying it gets me flamed on EB) but the chances of my renewing my vows without something like a significant cash incentive from a reality TV show are almost zero.

#27 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:40 PM

DH and I agreed on two weddings but only had one. I told him
I refused to get married unless I was barefoot and pregnant on the beach (because at that point I was never getting married or having kids).  When I ended up pregnant (still trying to work out how the hell that happened when we were using 2 reliable types of contraception) we agreed to get married. I only wanted immediate family and DH wanted everyone. We agreed to do the small intimate (barefoot and pregnant wink.gif) beach wedding here but always planned to go back to England for the full she-bang as DH wanted the whole meringue dress, church wedding deal.

It still hasn't happened (we'll be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary this year) but we're both fine with that. It probably never will now.

If you want to do it, go ahead. original.gif It's all about you guys.



#28 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:43 PM

QUOTE (JustLynn @ 18/04/2012, 07:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldn't but the actual ceremony and the day was almost entirely unimportant to me.  For me, it is the relationship that matters (as it is for most people) and the wedding was a way of getting there without it having any value in its own right.  I don't even really know why being married as opposed to being committed to each otehr privately was important to me, but it was.


I so agree with this. For me, the only reason I got married was because I wanted my kids and my partner and I to all share the same name. DH had actually asked before and I said no, but once I got pregnant, we agreed marriage was the way to go.

#29 JustBeige

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:48 PM

QUOTE (A.K.A @ 18/04/2012, 06:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would you do it or do you think it's just a complete waste of time &/or money? We have been married for a while now and I think I'd do it again, just because of a series of circumstances led to our day being pretty marred.

So, would you?

Renewing our vows is something that we have always wanted to do.  We did plan on doing it every 10years, but then when 10years came around it felt a bit hokey (to us).  We have put it on the backburner and have agreed that if I havent stabbed him in frustration by 30yrs we will consider doing it then tongue.gif.   We also thought we would just do a registry office or island (holiday) ceremony just for us.

In regards to you having some unpleasent memories of your wedding day, then I say, why not.   If you think this reaffirmation will be important to both of you and a lovely memory, then there is really nothing stopping you.

I would start by calling a couple of celebrants and sounding them out.

#30 JennyH

Posted 18 April 2012 - 08:15 PM

Everyone I know who has done the renewal of vows with bells and whistles has been marriage on the rocks via one partner cheating and them trying to make good a relationship that wasn't working  ph34r.gif

They have all split up within a year of the renewal of vows,

So for me, renewal of vows is dealt with sceptically.

#31 lovinmybaby

Posted 18 April 2012 - 08:24 PM

I want to, and in the future, if we have the money to do so, we will. Its a personal choice and not for everyone, but if you want to, go for it. It doesn't have to be lavish.

#32 NotRocketScience

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:35 PM

I would renew my vows in a heart beat but wouldn't have another wedding as in the whole day all over again with all the bells and whistles. I honestly see it as a huge waste of money that could be spent much better elsewhere.

#33 A.K.A

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:35 PM

We didn't have a big wedding (there was a total of 6 people there when it happened and we spent <$500), since then we've copped some flack for not inviting the family but that's not the reason I want to do it again. I think I just enjoyed the idea of it, the romantic side of it.

Maybe on our 10 year anniversary?

#34 Madeline's Mum

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:42 PM

I'm with Maybelle, if we were to renew our vows it would be in Vegas with dearest Elvis officiating the event (which is what I wanted originally but DH wanted the big white wedding)!

#35 Cath-In-SA

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:45 PM

I'm with Maybelle - Vegas, Baby!  Chapel o Lurve, Elvis optional.  This is for a vow renewal, of course.  No one else in attendance, apart from the kids if we make it there before they turn 30  wink.gif

My only question would be, would having a nice wedding now really take away the memories of the first wedding and all it's suckiness?

I am probably more inclined just to have a massive anniversary party one year inviting all the people who were there (and you still want there) and all the people you wished were there.

#36 Etcetera

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:48 PM

Depends on your reasons for doing so.

Every couple I know thwt have renewed their vows, hsve broken up not long after. I guess the vow renewal was a last ditch effort to make it work.

#37 jedimaster

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:54 PM

I would quite like to do a renewal of vows in Las Vegas, complete with the Elvis impersonator - I'm not sure why original.gif.
Just as part of the whole trip to the USA experience I think. Might try and organise it for our 25th Anniversary (in 5yrs time).



#38 Liadan

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:01 PM

The only "renewal of vows" I've been to, was for family friends. She has a degenerative muscular disease, and while we all know how much he loves her, and will be by her side until the end, it was really lovely and symbolic. And I think it was important to THEM.

#39 Kucingcantik

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:05 PM

I really liked the idea of doing a vow renewal, just DH, myself and our child(ren maybe) somewhere tropical and simple. But then I picture actually doing it and it just doesn't seem quite right to me. For what purpose are we doing it? We have already pledged our love to each other and to forsake others for the rest of our lives. The rest of our lives isn't over, that original promise still stands in ten years time or twenty or whatever.

However, there is still some attraction to the idea. Maybe we will just go on a big anniversary trip and read our original vows to each other in private in a beautiful setting on our 10th anniversary.

#40 ~Fuzjuz~

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:30 PM

QUOTE (A.K.A @ 18/04/2012, 06:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Would you do it or do you think it's just a complete waste of time &/or money? We have been married for a while now and I think I'd do it again, just because of a series of circumstances led to our day being pretty marred.

So, would you?


Yes. Hubby & I are planning to renew vows on our 17th anniversary next year. wub.gif We've wanted to do it for a few years & are finally planning it.
Nothing too fancy & will be so nice to not have some of the people from our wedding there.  biggrin.gif Also getting the cake I want, not what my Mum wanted.  rolleyes.gif Think we'll just go out for dinner that night? I'm really looking forward to it.  ddance.gif

#41 Mamabug

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:38 PM

QUOTE (~Fuzjuz~ @ 18/04/2012, 10:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Also getting the cake I want, not what my Mum wanted.  rolleyes.gif

Oooh...share?

#42 ~Fuzjuz~

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:41 PM

QUOTE (Mamabug @ 18/04/2012, 10:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oooh...share?


Nothing exciting sorry. I wanted mud cake & Mum was like nahhh fruit is better blah blah so I went with that. So this is going to be mud cake, yum. Similar to my original cake but not fruit, I hate fruit cake! sad.gif

#43 Lexico27

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:47 PM

We renewed our vows this year (10 year anniversary) while we were overseas. No guests present but the children. Oldest son read a poem, it was casual, barefoot on the beach and very meaningful. This was all arranged by my husband without my knowledge and was a surprise!

Edited by Lexico27, 18 April 2012 - 10:49 PM.


#44 ~*Erica*~

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:52 PM

QUOTE (Madeline's Mum @ 18/04/2012, 07:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm with Maybelle, if we were to renew our vows it would be in Vegas with dearest Elvis officiating the event (which is what I wanted originally but DH wanted the big white wedding)!

We'd do it with Elvis.

QUOTE
We didn't have a big wedding (there was a total of 6 people there when it happened and we spent <$500), since then we've copped some flack for not inviting the family but that's not the reason I want to do it again. I think I just enjoyed the idea of it, the romantic side of it.

Maybe on our 10 year anniversary?

We got married in Bali and only had 6 people there.  It was great and what we wanted.

We renewed our vows for our 10 year anniversary and also had our marriage blessed by the Catholic Church.  My Mum had just been diagnosed with Liver Cancer and I knew it was important to her and to me.  So  we did it.  It wasn't a big thing and there were no presents.  We live in a remote area and just had a small bbq afterwards at our house.  My Mum was too sick to attend.  DH and I had a fun day and the kids were involved.  It was nice and we had fun.  We still copped flack for not letting the rest of the family know so they could attend.  Happens.

Renew your vows if you want OP.  Make as big a deal of it or as little.  It's up to you.  Just enjoy it.  original.gif




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN a $500 Visa debit card

Are you a parent? Simply take our survey for your chance to win a $500 pre-paid VISA debit card.

Breastfeeding doesn't make you a better mum - feeding your baby does

Given my immense dislike of Hopkins and her opinions, I was genuinely shocked to discover that last week she actually said something that I agreed with.

'Toni, another baby has died': the anguish of watching governments fail our babies

It has been six years since whooping cough claimed the life of four-week-old Dana McCaffery. Her parents are angry that lessons learnt weren't enough to save other babies.

Longer breastfeeding linked to higher IQ

A study of 3500 infants has found that babies who are breastfed grow up to be more intelligent and wealthy.

The 2015 flu vaccine: what's new, who should get it

For certain members of the community, catching flu can lead to severe illness or death. A vaccination can be lifesaving.

Dealing with a nappy escape artist

I hear about the tots that have a penchant for ripping their nappies off and the odd one that even smears the brown stuff on the walls and fine home furnishings, and I shudder.

Hospital apologises for 'traumatising' baby mix-up

St Vincent's Hospital has apologised "unreservedly" for a baby mix-up that left one new mum traumatised.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.