14 mo tantrums
Please tell me its normal
, Apr 18 2012 02:41 PM
9 replies to this topic
Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:41 PM
For the past month or 2 DD has started throwing the odd wobbly. We have been dealing with them ok but recently she has got a bit more aggressive with them. It is usually when she is super tired and generally when she isn't getting her way eg, i take something off her.
She just seems to completely lose it. She will go red in the face, arches her back, screams and more recently has tried to bite me while doing this.
Up until now we go down to her level, hold her hands and tell her no, we don't bite people. This has just made it worse so I am at a loss as to what to do. If I am on the floor with her for example should I just get up and walk away? I don't know what to do when she is trying to latch her mouth onto me!
She has been bitten herself at daycare by another child but has not bitten anyone thankfully (so far) apart from me.
It seems far too early for these sorts of tantrums. They have said at daycare that she is quite advanced for her age so maybe it is just starting early?
I should also mention that she says a few words but is not overly vocal so understand it may be due to frustration at not being able to communicate.
Is this normal and any advice?
Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:45 PM
Yes, it is normal - even that early.
If staying with her and talking isn't working, then trial walking away. Sometimes this is effective as the child begins to associate the behaviour with being alone, so if they don't want to be alone, they (theoretically) stop the behaviour.
Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:53 PM
I distract my now 19 month old when she is having one of these tanties. They started at about 14 months old too. It is especially worse when she wants something and I take it off her, or she wants to tell me something, but cannot verbalise it.
I think this s the root cause of the tanty in the first place, the ability to understand that she wants something, but the inability to verbalise it to someone.
Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:11 PM
My DS who is now fifteen months old, has been doing the same for the last few months too. Although, now that I think about it, it's kind of stopped more recently.
For us, DS would chuck a major tanty sometimes after he had woken up. He didn't want to be held, didn't want to be put down, didn't want a drink, didn't want anything. He would just bawl and writhe around... There was nothing I could do for him. So eventually, I started sitting him in his room on his little couch, saying to him "I know you're feeling frustrated right now, you can sit here as long as you need to, and when you are ready for a cuddle, mama will be right here", then I'd leave him. I would stay in eyesight though, so he knew I hadn't left him, left him, IYKWIM? It took about five minutes, and then I'd go back and ask if he wanted a cuddle, most times he would nod yes and climb up for a cuddle and he'd be right again.
The biting thing, I think, is a frustration thing as well. I know sometimes I feel just so helpless and frustrated I could just bite! DS has done this a few times, and every time I just say "ouch! Don't bite mama". I know he doesn't mean it maliciously, it's just his way of expressing his frustration, so I'm not worried about him biting other kids yet!
GL, I hope it's just a phase for your little me and it's over quickly!
Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:13 PM
Its not only normal but it can get a lot worse than that! I can assure you.
She will grow out of it its just a stage, DS was the same.
Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:16 PM
DS does the same thing (19 months here) but he started at around 14 months and we walk away. He has started to throw any items he can reach around if we tell him no. We just remove those items and ourselves from his situation. its not ideal but he is just at that age.
Hope you can have some luck with your DD in the future!!
Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:22 PM
Sounds exactly like my DD at that age.
She's the same now, minus the biting, 16 months later.
Posted 19 April 2012 - 10:21 AM
It's normal! DD3 is 19 months and started chucking tantrums at 10 months. It continued to get worse and at 12 months she was throwing herself on the floor and screaming.
Yet my 3 year old has never had a tantrum. She just cries. They have completely different personalities. DD3 is a lot more energetic and louder than DD2.
You are right in that when DD is having a tantrum she is loosing it. Tantrums happen because the child has lots control of their feelings. At this age distraction is the best tool to use. DD will often stop a tantrum if I can distract her. We tend not to really ignore tantrums because she is out of control and needs help calming down.
With the biting I would just ignore it and walk away. There is no point in trying to tell her not to bite when she is in the middle of a tantrum. They do not listen when they are out of control.
this might be helpful.http://raisingchildren.net.au/behaviour/to..._behaviour.html
Posted 19 April 2012 - 03:39 PM
DD (13 months) has been having tanties for about 3 months if we take something off her she wants to play with but is not safe, or stop her playing with power cords etc. She just lies on the floor and bawls though, or stamps her feet, she hasnt done any biting (hopefully she wont). Sometimes distraction works but its getting harder and harder to distract her because when she wants something she will keep going back for it over and over
Posted 19 April 2012 - 03:44 PM
My DS started this sort of tanrtum at around 12 months - and he's still going (20 months) on occasion. It seems to be backing off a bit - maybe because he can express himself more now. He has stopped biting but last week he was so angry with me (took a toy from him) that he hit me in the face. There isn't much you can do because I don't think they can actually "hear" you telling them to stop. If that makes sense.
I will walk away from him if it's safe, or if it's not I'll put him in his cot and walk away for a few minutes, but when it's a tantrum about not wanting his carseat restraint on, then it's just too bad and I have to basically pin him in the seat and do what I have to do.
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