Jump to content

Emotional Limbo


  • Please log in to reply
15 replies to this topic

#1 LittleBean12

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:50 AM

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the forum, but have been browsing through the various topics and it's great to hear from other women going through the same thing as me. I found out I was pregnant (first bub!) last week (EDD 19th Dec) and am finding myself caught in this 'emotional limbo' between extreme elation (wanting to shout from the rooftop!), and constantly being reminded that this could all end at any moment with a miscarriage.

All I want to do is celebrate by shopping for cute little baby things, but I know logically that it's way too early for that, and if something did happen it would be horrible to have that stuff around the house.

I can't think about anything but being pregnant (trouble focussing at work), and it feels like the last week has dragged by - I can't imagine what I'll be like by the 12th week in time for my first scan! It seems like a lifetime away.

I hate this feeling of being so excited, but not really being 'allowed' to be excited - does that make sense?

#2 beachmumof1

Posted 18 April 2012 - 09:59 AM

Firstly CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your first is such a roller coaster of emotions..
I can remember feeling exactly like you with my first and my beautiful sister said to me if the worst case scenario does happen do you want to look back with love or fear??
I chose love, I embraced my pregnancy and thankfully all was fine. I had a scan early on that pointed to possible fetal demise but all was good.

Remember your hormones are also playing a pretty hefty part of this limbo so just go with it, some days you will feel intense elation and others dreadful fear, I think its all part of the process.


All the best with your pregnancy and I wish you a smooth journey


Sorry just realised this was a DIG, I picked it up from We Are Discussing.....

Anywasy Good Luck


#3 3beautifulDS

Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:09 PM

LittleBean12 - CONGRATULATIONS!!!

im 5wks with my 4th child (due 22nd dec) ... but i know where your coming from as in excited and want to shout from the roof top but cant/wont tell anyone tell we 12 wks (if i can hold out that long).
We decided not 2 tell anyone because we have our family could be quite negative about us having another baby but this is our choice... anyway i want to tell the world and finding it hard not too esp when im around my family and friends. My SIL is due in 5 wks but she will tell the world if she knows. i went baby shopping for her baby shower and i so wanted to buy my 1st outfit for my lil bub but i was with my cuzzy and she would of asked to many questions so i couldnt.

i just wanted to let you know your not the only one in this 'emotional limbo' and some times it makes you feel better knowing your not the only one thinkin these 'crazy' things..



good luck with your pregnacny and wish you all the best

ill see you around in DIG

#4 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:15 PM

I feel the exact same way every day, im due december 16th.

DH and I tried for so long to fall pregnant and now I finally am pregnant I go from feeling surreal like wow is this really happening, to yes it is happening im pregnant and being so elated to im only a few weeks pregnant anything can happen and feeling scared.

There is nothing we can do about it though. The cards have been dealt we just have to look after ourselves the best we can and just hope for the best.

Im trying not to look at baby things. DH pulled out my maternity clothes from my last pregnancy and it brought back so many memeories.

Im not even going to think about putting bubs room together until after my 20 week scan and I find out everything is ok and the sex of the baby or babies at this stage you never know!

#5 accidentally_preg

Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:19 PM

I know what you mean! I am so scared about it all ending because I know how common it is. But I am SO excited too! I think my level of excitement and happiness has surprised me as bubs wasn't planned. And I think this makes the scared-ness so much worse!

I just want to tell everybody  eexcite.gif

#6 ms flib

Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:21 PM

Congratulations!

Enjoy it! Go and buy something for the baby. Something small but gorgeous that would be good for either sex.

Whatever happens, you can still acknowledge this wonderful time!!

#7 cosmic79

Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:30 PM

I feel exactly like this too.  It's my third pregnancy.  I worried all the way through the first two.

I want to wake up tomorrow and be 20 weeks pregnant.

You're right.  It COULD end at any moment and that is what scares me the most.  I'm getting superstitious about ridiculous things, scared of "jinxing" myself, scared, scared, scared.  I'm also worried about the chance of M/C and, if that happens - (touch wood that it doesn't) - then I'll have to start all over again.  These have been the longest three weeks of my life and there's still so much longer to go.

Edited by cosmic79, 18 April 2012 - 01:31 PM.


#8 FourLittleLoves

Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

These first few weeks are the hardest and until you see your little baby bouncing around at your 12wk scan you pretty much worry if everything is ok every waking minute (or that might just be me). Constant toilet checks freaking out when you move suddenly and feel a pain in your stomach, when your MS subsides for a few hours and you really hope it does come back.

This is my 3rd pregnancy and will be my 4th baby I feel more on edge than my last two. But like the last two I wont be buying anything until after the 20wk scan.

Congratulations on your little bun in the oven and I hope every day that all of us in the DIG get to spent the next 8 months together. original.gif

#9 JuniorGandR

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:20 PM

Firstly CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Secondly, as many of the PPs have said, you are not alone.  I am finding this first trimester so much harder this time around, especially after a previous m/c at 6 weeks.

Having said that, today I had a dating scan (for reassurance really, as I was pretty sure of my dates) and I got to see my bub, and the heart beat original.gif  

If you are worried / concerned, it could be something to put your mind at ease.  

Otherwise if you want to go shopping - go shopping!  Spoil yourself and bubs.  And I hope to see you around the DIG.

#10 accidentally_preg

Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:31 PM

Thanks for all the good advice and well wishes! I'm BURSTING with excitement now as all my blood tests came back perfect and I have a referral for a dating scan! eexcite.gif

Just wanna see a heartbeat!  wub.gif

#11 Red nut

Posted 19 April 2012 - 10:54 AM

I couldn't wait until 10 weeks for a scan! My GP kindly gave me a referral for absolutely no good reason other than I wanted one....

#12 wow im pregnant

Posted 19 April 2012 - 09:48 PM

Congrats on your wonderful news!
This is my first pregnancy about 7 weeks, it's weird, I'm excited, but then nervous and scared all the same time, so don't feel like screaming from the rafters... I feel guilty though about feeling like this, shouldn't I be bursting to tell everyone?

#13 MuppetGirl

Posted 20 April 2012 - 10:14 AM

QUOTE
I feel guilty though about feeling like this, shouldn't I be bursting to tell everyone?


It is completely normal to feel worried and anxious about everything being ok. Please don't feel guilty, what you are going through is normal.

OP - It is a very anxious time but as PPs have said, try to find little enjoyments in it. In all likelihood your pregnancy and baby will continue along just fine and there is nothing wrong with browsing the baby stores, picking up a few pieces here and there and just letting yourself have those special moments.

I am terrified something will go wrong with my pg but I am also just trying to relax. I have been to 2 baby stores, picked my pram (not bought yet) and purchased a couple of small things already original.gif

#14 LittleBean12

Posted 20 April 2012 - 12:53 PM

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words! Its so nice to know i'm not alone feeling like this.

I've had some cramping the last few days, so I called my doctor and he has referred me to get an early scan in 2 weeks, so I'm sooooo excited about that. The thought of waiting till my 12 weeks scan was just too much!

Hopefully all will be well at my early scan and I will hear a little heart beat. I think that should keep me going / keep my mind at ease!

Thanks again everyone.



#15 4WD_Baby#1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 12:59 PM

QUOTE (LittleBean12 @ 18/04/2012, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi everyone,

I'm new to the forum, but have been browsing through the various topics and it's great to hear from other women going through the same thing as me. I found out I was pregnant (first bub!) last week (EDD 19th Dec) and am finding myself caught in this 'emotional limbo' between extreme elation (wanting to shout from the rooftop!), and constantly being reminded that this could all end at any moment with a miscarriage.

All I want to do is celebrate by shopping for cute little baby things, but I know logically that it's way too early for that, and if something did happen it would be horrible to have that stuff around the house.

I can't think about anything but being pregnant (trouble focussing at work), and it feels like the last week has dragged by - I can't imagine what I'll be like by the 12th week in time for my first scan! It seems like a lifetime away.

I hate this feeling of being so excited, but not really being 'allowed' to be excited - does that make sense?


Completely. I felt the same until i reached 12 weeks. Most women do i think. I actually had a talk to a social worker who told me to enjoy being pregnant, live in the moment. It really helped. Now im 18 wks and only excited.

#16 4WD_Baby#1

Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:06 PM

Ps i went for a scan at 6 weeks and there were only 2 sacs, no babies. It wasnt til 8 weeks i saw one baby. Other had no heartbeat. I had bleeding for a month. All this and im still pregnant! And everything at the 16 week scan was great! Cant wait for our next one in two weeks.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

In a bizarre bid for relevancy, Former Opposition leader Mark Latham has deduced that because one female journalist had this week light-heartedly thanked antidepressants and caffeine for getting her through a medical degree while raising two small children, that ergo, all 'inner-city feminists' are selfish harridans who despise their offspring.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Duchess's letter to grieving mum

The Duchess of Cambridge has written to a grieving mum on a "very difficult" day.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.