Jump to content

would you be offended


  • Please log in to reply
81 replies to this topic

#1 MO3G

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:49 PM

if your family said they would not come to your childs christening ceremony at the church but will come to the reception afterwards?

Also would you call them up if they havent replyed by the rsvp date?

its at a reception centre so we need to know who is coming to get the final numbers to pay the final cost.

#2 hollysmama

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:53 PM

Yes I would.


#3 PrincessPeach

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

Yes.

It's like not attending a church wedding ceremony, but the reception afterwards.

My dad is atheist, yet gladly walked me down the isle of my church wedding. He also has no issues attending anyone elses church wedding or christening.

I would call for late RSVP's.

#4 bakesgirls

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

Depends on what their reasons were.

#5 Lightning_bug

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

If they weren't religious in any way I wouldn't be offended.  I'd be annoyed but I'd understand.  If they were religious and were boycotting for some other reason I'd be furious.

As for the RSVPs... I'd only call those I really wanted to come and the others I'd assume weren't.

#6 HeroOfCanton

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

I would tell them that if they don't come to the ceremony, they aren't welcome at the reception.

Yes, I'd be offended.

edit: Even if they are uncomfortable with the church, I'd still be quite upset - if they aren't religious at all, a church poses no 'threat' to them.

Edited by *Browncoat*, 17 April 2012 - 01:56 PM.


#7 Froger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

Depends, but I don't think so. Lots of people don't want to go to religious ceremonies, but like to go to the family event afterwards. I think opting out of religious events should be everyone's prerogative.

#8 follies

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

I consider anyone that does not RSVP by the date to not be coming. I do not bend over backwards to compensate for the rudeness of others.

#9 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

Yes I would be highly offended.  I had my DS2's christening over the Easter weekend, everyone came to the church (an extra-long Easter Mass, the priest wanted the baptims done during the Mass instead of after), some hungover and others put off other family Easter get-togethers to be there, which we were highly appreciative of.

Edited by tigerdog, 17 April 2012 - 01:59 PM.


#10 Bam1

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:59 PM

No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.

#11 opethmum

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:00 PM

Yes I think it is rude. Don't care what their stance on the religious aspect is. They should be an unconditional support to their grandchild/nieces etc and support your choice to have her christened.
I would just call the reception place with the RSVP's you have received by the cut off date and leave it at that.
I am sorry that they are doing this to you at what should be a special time in your family.
Good luck and I hope the Christening Service goes well and that your family is made to feel welcome in the community of Christ.

#12 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:00 PM

QUOTE (SarahM72 @ 17/04/2012, 01:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Depends, but I don't think so. Lots of people don't want to go to religious ceremonies, but like to go to the family event afterwards. I think opting out of religious events should be everyone's prerogative.


I don't agree. The crux of the occasion is the child's initiation into that religion - if you aren't supportive enough of this to come to the ceremony then don't just come along for the free food.

#13 MO3G

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:02 PM

the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.

#14 Fluster

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

QUOTE (Bam1 @ 17/04/2012, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.



All of this.  

Some people who may be Christians may be supportive of your aims but not supportive of the actual practice - I was raised in a denomination that rejects infant baptism.

#15 statua angelam

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

Yes to both questions.  I'd consider it hypocritical and selfish to turn up to the party celebrating an event you boycotted.  

I wouldn't pressure anyone to come and would respect a declined invitation; but I'd be mighty peeved if people didn't RSVP!

#16 2bellaboos

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:05 PM

Yes - this happened to me. SIL thought her DS's soccer was more important.

ETA - I just saw your response and realise it's a more deep seated issue than a child's sporting event. I think your DH's family are being silly. I assume you got married in a Macedonian church - did they boycott that too? How will they "cope" being a reception with Maco's, let along the mass?

Edited by 2bellaboos, 17 April 2012 - 02:10 PM.


#17 paddyboo

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:05 PM

yes I would. Thats like saying I'm not coming to the wedding but I'll come to the reception.

#18 christmasiscoming

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:07 PM

If you receive a formal invitation for something you HAVE to RSVP.  Nothing peeves me more than going to the trouble of sending invitations and having no response whatsoever.  So rude.

I always admire the attitude of people who say "if they dont RSVP, I'll assume they're not coming"  but then you're still the one that ends up in a pickle when they DO show up at the event, oblivious to the trouble they've caused, and you're then undercatered for the number of guests on the day.

In regards to being offended if they didn't come to the ceremony, and if it were my immediate family (ie. my own mum, dad, brothers/sisters) I'd be pretty peeved at that too.  Have they given you any reasons for not attending the ceremony?  It'd want to be a good one if you ask me ...

#19 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:09 PM

QUOTE (Fluster @ 17/04/2012, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
All of this.  

Some people who may be Christians may be supportive of your aims but not supportive of the actual practice - I was raised in a denomination that rejects infant baptism.


Then as myself and PPs have stated, don't just turn up for the party - politely decline the invitation.

#20 Froger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:12 PM

QUOTE (MO3G @ 17/04/2012, 02:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.


Maco? Do you mean Macedonia orthodox? Sorry, I don't really know much about church. But if you mean the dispute between Macedonia and Greece (the countries, as opposed to the churches of which I don't know anything), but this dispute is quite recent, certainly well within living memory of older people. Sometimes you just have to make allowances for family, especially older family members who are set in their ways.

Edited by SarahM72, 17 April 2012 - 02:13 PM.


#21 qak

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (MO3G @ 17/04/2012, 02:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.


OK I know there is a whole lot to the Greece/Macedonia conflict, I have no opinion on it.  I think if that's an issue to them then they shouldn't go to the reception either.
BTW I have been to weddings where I haven't understood anything either, I don't think that's a good reason to pike out. Even if you are not religious at all you can go to support the family.

#22 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:14 PM

QUOTE (Bam1 @ 17/04/2012, 01:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.


This.

After seeing the reason, I have sympathy to their view. In fact, I think it would be a tough ask to have them attend and participate in a ceremony that is against their own religious beliefs (worse even I think than if they were atheist with no belief system), where they would not know what was being said.

I can understand them wanting to be there in support but going to a church and participating in the prayers etc that are not only of an opposing church but in an unknown language would be confronting.

I think if you listened to their concerns and didn't try to steamroll them with "but it happened 100,000s of years ago" (which has to be a major exaggeration) and "they're all the same really" then they may feel that they have other options than to miss out entirely.

#23 YandiGirl

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:16 PM

Ahhh.....the Greek/Maco problem. I understand this one well.

This is certainly not something that can be relegated to thousands of years ago. It is actually a problem that is current.

Now, help me understand. Your partner is Greek? You are...?

#24 4kidlets

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:19 PM

I dont think I would be offended.

PP's who are saying decline the invitation altogether rather than just go to the church -  I can imagine some people would be more offended if their family member refused to go altogether.

I dont think a christening is on the same level as a wedding either.

And people are free to decline any invitation for reasons of their own - the invitee to whom a soccer match was more important - I guess that is her perogative as much as any other reason - to people for whom christenings are not relevant,  I can see that being the case.


I do think not RSVP-ing is rude, however  I would probably follow it up with a phone call anyway.

#25 Katie_bella

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:20 PM

I'm an athiest, but have attended my neice and nephew's christening, sat in the church and taken the pics. I figure it's part of being a family. I did however (graciously) refuse to be a god parent as i don't think it's an appropriate roll for an athiest. I'm an awesome aunty tho wink.gif .
I don't know much about the greek/macedonian thing, so can't give my opinion, sorry.
I suppose, what you do depends on how close a family member it involves and whether you  feel it's worth the confrontation.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Britain's youngest parents: mother 12, father 13

A 12-year-old schoolgirl and her 13-year-old boyfriend are believed to have become Britain?s youngest parents, after the birth of their baby girl earlier this week.

When Prince George met Bilby George

Prince George has met an Aussie marsupial named after him in his first official engagement in Australia.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Pregnant woman dies after doctor removes ovary instead of appendix

When a UK woman went to hospital suffering appendicitis, doctors mistakenly removed her healthy ovary - with tragic consequences.

The milestones I can't wait to celebrate

Nothing can beat the feeling of witnessing that first smile, first step and first word - but here's a list of 'firsts' I'm really looking forward to now.

How you develop in your baby's first year

Just as babies undergo rapid growth as they learn and change in their first year, we?re learning and changing quickly as parents, too. Don?t underestimate the developmental stages you go through when you have a baby.

Can you make your baby smarter even before birth?

A product new to Australia claims to help babies be born "as intelligent as possible", but not all experts agree on the benefits of educating babies while still in the womb.

How a mother's love helped unearth the skills of an autistic savant

Autistic savant Ping Lian Yeak, a prodigious artist who has had his work shown all over the world, couldn't have done it without the support and love of his proud mum.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

A tiny heart: a baby?s death gives life to another

Simon Alexander Garcia lived only one brief hour. But somewhere, a little girl?s heart is beating today because of him.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Why is childbirth still such a pain?

The options given to women to help them cope in labour have barely changed in years.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.