Jump to content

would you be offended


  • Please log in to reply
80 replies to this topic

#1 MO3G

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:49 PM

if your family said they would not come to your childs christening ceremony at the church but will come to the reception afterwards?

Also would you call them up if they havent replyed by the rsvp date?

its at a reception centre so we need to know who is coming to get the final numbers to pay the final cost.

#2 hollysmama

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:53 PM

Yes I would.


#3 PrincessPeach

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

Yes.

It's like not attending a church wedding ceremony, but the reception afterwards.

My dad is atheist, yet gladly walked me down the isle of my church wedding. He also has no issues attending anyone elses church wedding or christening.

I would call for late RSVP's.

#4 bakesgirls

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

Depends on what their reasons were.

#5 Lightning_bug

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

If they weren't religious in any way I wouldn't be offended.  I'd be annoyed but I'd understand.  If they were religious and were boycotting for some other reason I'd be furious.

As for the RSVPs... I'd only call those I really wanted to come and the others I'd assume weren't.

#6 CherrySunday

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

I would tell them that if they don't come to the ceremony, they aren't welcome at the reception.

Yes, I'd be offended.

edit: Even if they are uncomfortable with the church, I'd still be quite upset - if they aren't religious at all, a church poses no 'threat' to them.

Edited by *Browncoat*, 17 April 2012 - 01:56 PM.


#7 Froger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

Depends, but I don't think so. Lots of people don't want to go to religious ceremonies, but like to go to the family event afterwards. I think opting out of religious events should be everyone's prerogative.

#8 follies

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

I consider anyone that does not RSVP by the date to not be coming. I do not bend over backwards to compensate for the rudeness of others.

#9 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

Yes I would be highly offended.  I had my DS2's christening over the Easter weekend, everyone came to the church (an extra-long Easter Mass, the priest wanted the baptims done during the Mass instead of after), some hungover and others put off other family Easter get-togethers to be there, which we were highly appreciative of.

Edited by tigerdog, 17 April 2012 - 01:59 PM.


#10 Bam1

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:59 PM

No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.

#11 opethmum

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:00 PM

Yes I think it is rude. Don't care what their stance on the religious aspect is. They should be an unconditional support to their grandchild/nieces etc and support your choice to have her christened.
I would just call the reception place with the RSVP's you have received by the cut off date and leave it at that.
I am sorry that they are doing this to you at what should be a special time in your family.
Good luck and I hope the Christening Service goes well and that your family is made to feel welcome in the community of Christ.

#12 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:00 PM

QUOTE (SarahM72 @ 17/04/2012, 01:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Depends, but I don't think so. Lots of people don't want to go to religious ceremonies, but like to go to the family event afterwards. I think opting out of religious events should be everyone's prerogative.


I don't agree. The crux of the occasion is the child's initiation into that religion - if you aren't supportive enough of this to come to the ceremony then don't just come along for the free food.

#13 MO3G

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:02 PM

the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.

#14 Fluster

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

QUOTE (Bam1 @ 17/04/2012, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.



All of this.  

Some people who may be Christians may be supportive of your aims but not supportive of the actual practice - I was raised in a denomination that rejects infant baptism.

#15 Ymarferol angel

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

Yes to both questions.  I'd consider it hypocritical and selfish to turn up to the party celebrating an event you boycotted.  

I wouldn't pressure anyone to come and would respect a declined invitation; but I'd be mighty peeved if people didn't RSVP!

#16 2bellaboos

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:05 PM

Yes - this happened to me. SIL thought her DS's soccer was more important.

ETA - I just saw your response and realise it's a more deep seated issue than a child's sporting event. I think your DH's family are being silly. I assume you got married in a Macedonian church - did they boycott that too? How will they "cope" being a reception with Maco's, let along the mass?

Edited by 2bellaboos, 17 April 2012 - 02:10 PM.


#17 paddyboo

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:05 PM

yes I would. Thats like saying I'm not coming to the wedding but I'll come to the reception.

#18 christmasiscoming

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:07 PM

If you receive a formal invitation for something you HAVE to RSVP.  Nothing peeves me more than going to the trouble of sending invitations and having no response whatsoever.  So rude.

I always admire the attitude of people who say "if they dont RSVP, I'll assume they're not coming"  but then you're still the one that ends up in a pickle when they DO show up at the event, oblivious to the trouble they've caused, and you're then undercatered for the number of guests on the day.

In regards to being offended if they didn't come to the ceremony, and if it were my immediate family (ie. my own mum, dad, brothers/sisters) I'd be pretty peeved at that too.  Have they given you any reasons for not attending the ceremony?  It'd want to be a good one if you ask me ...

#19 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:09 PM

QUOTE (Fluster @ 17/04/2012, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
All of this.  

Some people who may be Christians may be supportive of your aims but not supportive of the actual practice - I was raised in a denomination that rejects infant baptism.


Then as myself and PPs have stated, don't just turn up for the party - politely decline the invitation.

#20 Froger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:12 PM

QUOTE (MO3G @ 17/04/2012, 02:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.


Maco? Do you mean Macedonia orthodox? Sorry, I don't really know much about church. But if you mean the dispute between Macedonia and Greece (the countries, as opposed to the churches of which I don't know anything), but this dispute is quite recent, certainly well within living memory of older people. Sometimes you just have to make allowances for family, especially older family members who are set in their ways.

Edited by SarahM72, 17 April 2012 - 02:13 PM.


#21 qak

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (MO3G @ 17/04/2012, 02:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.


OK I know there is a whole lot to the Greece/Macedonia conflict, I have no opinion on it.  I think if that's an issue to them then they shouldn't go to the reception either.
BTW I have been to weddings where I haven't understood anything either, I don't think that's a good reason to pike out. Even if you are not religious at all you can go to support the family.

#22 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:14 PM

QUOTE (Bam1 @ 17/04/2012, 01:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.


This.

After seeing the reason, I have sympathy to their view. In fact, I think it would be a tough ask to have them attend and participate in a ceremony that is against their own religious beliefs (worse even I think than if they were atheist with no belief system), where they would not know what was being said.

I can understand them wanting to be there in support but going to a church and participating in the prayers etc that are not only of an opposing church but in an unknown language would be confronting.

I think if you listened to their concerns and didn't try to steamroll them with "but it happened 100,000s of years ago" (which has to be a major exaggeration) and "they're all the same really" then they may feel that they have other options than to miss out entirely.

#23 YandiGirl

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:16 PM

Ahhh.....the Greek/Maco problem. I understand this one well.

This is certainly not something that can be relegated to thousands of years ago. It is actually a problem that is current.

Now, help me understand. Your partner is Greek? You are...?

#24 Imaginary friend

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:19 PM

I dont think I would be offended.

PP's who are saying decline the invitation altogether rather than just go to the church -  I can imagine some people would be more offended if their family member refused to go altogether.

I dont think a christening is on the same level as a wedding either.

And people are free to decline any invitation for reasons of their own - the invitee to whom a soccer match was more important - I guess that is her perogative as much as any other reason - to people for whom christenings are not relevant,  I can see that being the case.


I do think not RSVP-ing is rude, however  I would probably follow it up with a phone call anyway.

#25 Katie_bella

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:20 PM

I'm an athiest, but have attended my neice and nephew's christening, sat in the church and taken the pics. I figure it's part of being a family. I did however (graciously) refuse to be a god parent as i don't think it's an appropriate roll for an athiest. I'm an awesome aunty tho wink.gif .
I don't know much about the greek/macedonian thing, so can't give my opinion, sorry.
I suppose, what you do depends on how close a family member it involves and whether you  feel it's worth the confrontation.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.