Jump to content

would you be offended


  • Please log in to reply
81 replies to this topic

#1 MO3G

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:49 PM

if your family said they would not come to your childs christening ceremony at the church but will come to the reception afterwards?

Also would you call them up if they havent replyed by the rsvp date?

its at a reception centre so we need to know who is coming to get the final numbers to pay the final cost.

#2 hollysmama

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:53 PM

Yes I would.


#3 PrincessPeach

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

Yes.

It's like not attending a church wedding ceremony, but the reception afterwards.

My dad is atheist, yet gladly walked me down the isle of my church wedding. He also has no issues attending anyone elses church wedding or christening.

I would call for late RSVP's.

#4 bakesgirls

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

Depends on what their reasons were.

#5 Lightning_bug

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

If they weren't religious in any way I wouldn't be offended.  I'd be annoyed but I'd understand.  If they were religious and were boycotting for some other reason I'd be furious.

As for the RSVPs... I'd only call those I really wanted to come and the others I'd assume weren't.

#6 HeroOfCanton

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

I would tell them that if they don't come to the ceremony, they aren't welcome at the reception.

Yes, I'd be offended.

edit: Even if they are uncomfortable with the church, I'd still be quite upset - if they aren't religious at all, a church poses no 'threat' to them.

Edited by *Browncoat*, 17 April 2012 - 01:56 PM.


#7 Froger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

Depends, but I don't think so. Lots of people don't want to go to religious ceremonies, but like to go to the family event afterwards. I think opting out of religious events should be everyone's prerogative.

#8 follies

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

I consider anyone that does not RSVP by the date to not be coming. I do not bend over backwards to compensate for the rudeness of others.

#9 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

Yes I would be highly offended.  I had my DS2's christening over the Easter weekend, everyone came to the church (an extra-long Easter Mass, the priest wanted the baptims done during the Mass instead of after), some hungover and others put off other family Easter get-togethers to be there, which we were highly appreciative of.

Edited by tigerdog, 17 April 2012 - 01:59 PM.


#10 Bam1

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:59 PM

No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.

#11 opethmum

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:00 PM

Yes I think it is rude. Don't care what their stance on the religious aspect is. They should be an unconditional support to their grandchild/nieces etc and support your choice to have her christened.
I would just call the reception place with the RSVP's you have received by the cut off date and leave it at that.
I am sorry that they are doing this to you at what should be a special time in your family.
Good luck and I hope the Christening Service goes well and that your family is made to feel welcome in the community of Christ.

#12 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:00 PM

QUOTE (SarahM72 @ 17/04/2012, 01:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Depends, but I don't think so. Lots of people don't want to go to religious ceremonies, but like to go to the family event afterwards. I think opting out of religious events should be everyone's prerogative.


I don't agree. The crux of the occasion is the child's initiation into that religion - if you aren't supportive enough of this to come to the ceremony then don't just come along for the free food.

#13 MO3G

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:02 PM

the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.

#14 Fluster

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

QUOTE (Bam1 @ 17/04/2012, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.



All of this.  

Some people who may be Christians may be supportive of your aims but not supportive of the actual practice - I was raised in a denomination that rejects infant baptism.

#15 Angelot

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

Yes to both questions.  I'd consider it hypocritical and selfish to turn up to the party celebrating an event you boycotted.  

I wouldn't pressure anyone to come and would respect a declined invitation; but I'd be mighty peeved if people didn't RSVP!

#16 2bellaboos

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:05 PM

Yes - this happened to me. SIL thought her DS's soccer was more important.

ETA - I just saw your response and realise it's a more deep seated issue than a child's sporting event. I think your DH's family are being silly. I assume you got married in a Macedonian church - did they boycott that too? How will they "cope" being a reception with Maco's, let along the mass?

Edited by 2bellaboos, 17 April 2012 - 02:10 PM.


#17 paddyboo

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:05 PM

yes I would. Thats like saying I'm not coming to the wedding but I'll come to the reception.

#18 christmasiscoming

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:07 PM

If you receive a formal invitation for something you HAVE to RSVP.  Nothing peeves me more than going to the trouble of sending invitations and having no response whatsoever.  So rude.

I always admire the attitude of people who say "if they dont RSVP, I'll assume they're not coming"  but then you're still the one that ends up in a pickle when they DO show up at the event, oblivious to the trouble they've caused, and you're then undercatered for the number of guests on the day.

In regards to being offended if they didn't come to the ceremony, and if it were my immediate family (ie. my own mum, dad, brothers/sisters) I'd be pretty peeved at that too.  Have they given you any reasons for not attending the ceremony?  It'd want to be a good one if you ask me ...

#19 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:09 PM

QUOTE (Fluster @ 17/04/2012, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
All of this.  

Some people who may be Christians may be supportive of your aims but not supportive of the actual practice - I was raised in a denomination that rejects infant baptism.


Then as myself and PPs have stated, don't just turn up for the party - politely decline the invitation.

#20 Froger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:12 PM

QUOTE (MO3G @ 17/04/2012, 02:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.


Maco? Do you mean Macedonia orthodox? Sorry, I don't really know much about church. But if you mean the dispute between Macedonia and Greece (the countries, as opposed to the churches of which I don't know anything), but this dispute is quite recent, certainly well within living memory of older people. Sometimes you just have to make allowances for family, especially older family members who are set in their ways.

Edited by SarahM72, 17 April 2012 - 02:13 PM.


#21 qak

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (MO3G @ 17/04/2012, 02:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.


OK I know there is a whole lot to the Greece/Macedonia conflict, I have no opinion on it.  I think if that's an issue to them then they shouldn't go to the reception either.
BTW I have been to weddings where I haven't understood anything either, I don't think that's a good reason to pike out. Even if you are not religious at all you can go to support the family.

#22 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:14 PM

QUOTE (Bam1 @ 17/04/2012, 01:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.


This.

After seeing the reason, I have sympathy to their view. In fact, I think it would be a tough ask to have them attend and participate in a ceremony that is against their own religious beliefs (worse even I think than if they were atheist with no belief system), where they would not know what was being said.

I can understand them wanting to be there in support but going to a church and participating in the prayers etc that are not only of an opposing church but in an unknown language would be confronting.

I think if you listened to their concerns and didn't try to steamroll them with "but it happened 100,000s of years ago" (which has to be a major exaggeration) and "they're all the same really" then they may feel that they have other options than to miss out entirely.

#23 YandiGirl

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:16 PM

Ahhh.....the Greek/Maco problem. I understand this one well.

This is certainly not something that can be relegated to thousands of years ago. It is actually a problem that is current.

Now, help me understand. Your partner is Greek? You are...?

#24 4kidlets

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:19 PM

I dont think I would be offended.

PP's who are saying decline the invitation altogether rather than just go to the church -  I can imagine some people would be more offended if their family member refused to go altogether.

I dont think a christening is on the same level as a wedding either.

And people are free to decline any invitation for reasons of their own - the invitee to whom a soccer match was more important - I guess that is her perogative as much as any other reason - to people for whom christenings are not relevant,  I can see that being the case.


I do think not RSVP-ing is rude, however  I would probably follow it up with a phone call anyway.

#25 Katie_bella

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:20 PM

I'm an athiest, but have attended my neice and nephew's christening, sat in the church and taken the pics. I figure it's part of being a family. I did however (graciously) refuse to be a god parent as i don't think it's an appropriate roll for an athiest. I'm an awesome aunty tho wink.gif .
I don't know much about the greek/macedonian thing, so can't give my opinion, sorry.
I suppose, what you do depends on how close a family member it involves and whether you  feel it's worth the confrontation.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

The mum who never met her baby

There was one more thing Kymberlie Shepherd wanted to experience in life - motherhood. But a rare illness took her first.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.