Jump to content

would you be offended


  • Please log in to reply
81 replies to this topic

#1 MO3G

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:49 PM

if your family said they would not come to your childs christening ceremony at the church but will come to the reception afterwards?

Also would you call them up if they havent replyed by the rsvp date?

its at a reception centre so we need to know who is coming to get the final numbers to pay the final cost.

#2 hollysmama

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:53 PM

Yes I would.


#3 PrincessPeach

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

Yes.

It's like not attending a church wedding ceremony, but the reception afterwards.

My dad is atheist, yet gladly walked me down the isle of my church wedding. He also has no issues attending anyone elses church wedding or christening.

I would call for late RSVP's.

#4 bakesgirls

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

Depends on what their reasons were.

#5 Lightning_bug

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

If they weren't religious in any way I wouldn't be offended.  I'd be annoyed but I'd understand.  If they were religious and were boycotting for some other reason I'd be furious.

As for the RSVPs... I'd only call those I really wanted to come and the others I'd assume weren't.

#6 HeroOfCanton

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

I would tell them that if they don't come to the ceremony, they aren't welcome at the reception.

Yes, I'd be offended.

edit: Even if they are uncomfortable with the church, I'd still be quite upset - if they aren't religious at all, a church poses no 'threat' to them.

Edited by *Browncoat*, 17 April 2012 - 01:56 PM.


#7 Froger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

Depends, but I don't think so. Lots of people don't want to go to religious ceremonies, but like to go to the family event afterwards. I think opting out of religious events should be everyone's prerogative.

#8 follies

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

I consider anyone that does not RSVP by the date to not be coming. I do not bend over backwards to compensate for the rudeness of others.

#9 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

Yes I would be highly offended.  I had my DS2's christening over the Easter weekend, everyone came to the church (an extra-long Easter Mass, the priest wanted the baptims done during the Mass instead of after), some hungover and others put off other family Easter get-togethers to be there, which we were highly appreciative of.

Edited by tigerdog, 17 April 2012 - 01:59 PM.


#10 Bam1

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:59 PM

No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.

#11 opethmum

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:00 PM

Yes I think it is rude. Don't care what their stance on the religious aspect is. They should be an unconditional support to their grandchild/nieces etc and support your choice to have her christened.
I would just call the reception place with the RSVP's you have received by the cut off date and leave it at that.
I am sorry that they are doing this to you at what should be a special time in your family.
Good luck and I hope the Christening Service goes well and that your family is made to feel welcome in the community of Christ.

#12 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:00 PM

QUOTE (SarahM72 @ 17/04/2012, 01:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Depends, but I don't think so. Lots of people don't want to go to religious ceremonies, but like to go to the family event afterwards. I think opting out of religious events should be everyone's prerogative.


I don't agree. The crux of the occasion is the child's initiation into that religion - if you aren't supportive enough of this to come to the ceremony then don't just come along for the free food.

#13 MO3G

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:02 PM

the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.

#14 Fluster

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

QUOTE (Bam1 @ 17/04/2012, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.



All of this.  

Some people who may be Christians may be supportive of your aims but not supportive of the actual practice - I was raised in a denomination that rejects infant baptism.

#15 Fyn Angelot

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

Yes to both questions.  I'd consider it hypocritical and selfish to turn up to the party celebrating an event you boycotted.  

I wouldn't pressure anyone to come and would respect a declined invitation; but I'd be mighty peeved if people didn't RSVP!

#16 2bellaboos

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:05 PM

Yes - this happened to me. SIL thought her DS's soccer was more important.

ETA - I just saw your response and realise it's a more deep seated issue than a child's sporting event. I think your DH's family are being silly. I assume you got married in a Macedonian church - did they boycott that too? How will they "cope" being a reception with Maco's, let along the mass?

Edited by 2bellaboos, 17 April 2012 - 02:10 PM.


#17 paddyboo

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:05 PM

yes I would. Thats like saying I'm not coming to the wedding but I'll come to the reception.

#18 christmasiscoming

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:07 PM

If you receive a formal invitation for something you HAVE to RSVP.  Nothing peeves me more than going to the trouble of sending invitations and having no response whatsoever.  So rude.

I always admire the attitude of people who say "if they dont RSVP, I'll assume they're not coming"  but then you're still the one that ends up in a pickle when they DO show up at the event, oblivious to the trouble they've caused, and you're then undercatered for the number of guests on the day.

In regards to being offended if they didn't come to the ceremony, and if it were my immediate family (ie. my own mum, dad, brothers/sisters) I'd be pretty peeved at that too.  Have they given you any reasons for not attending the ceremony?  It'd want to be a good one if you ask me ...

#19 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:09 PM

QUOTE (Fluster @ 17/04/2012, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
All of this.  

Some people who may be Christians may be supportive of your aims but not supportive of the actual practice - I was raised in a denomination that rejects infant baptism.


Then as myself and PPs have stated, don't just turn up for the party - politely decline the invitation.

#20 Froger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:12 PM

QUOTE (MO3G @ 17/04/2012, 02:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.


Maco? Do you mean Macedonia orthodox? Sorry, I don't really know much about church. But if you mean the dispute between Macedonia and Greece (the countries, as opposed to the churches of which I don't know anything), but this dispute is quite recent, certainly well within living memory of older people. Sometimes you just have to make allowances for family, especially older family members who are set in their ways.

Edited by SarahM72, 17 April 2012 - 02:13 PM.


#21 qak

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (MO3G @ 17/04/2012, 02:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the reason is that DP is greek orthodox and we are going to a maco orthodox church(i had another topic about this a few weeks ago)

Because of what happened 100,000s ofyears ago between the two countries that is why they arnt coming, even though Dps dad says that all orthodox are the same,they wont understand what is being said.

but in the end its our choice on what we do, DP said if whoever isnt going to come to church is not coming to the reception, but im not sure i want to go through with that.


OK I know there is a whole lot to the Greece/Macedonia conflict, I have no opinion on it.  I think if that's an issue to them then they shouldn't go to the reception either.
BTW I have been to weddings where I haven't understood anything either, I don't think that's a good reason to pike out. Even if you are not religious at all you can go to support the family.

#22 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:14 PM

QUOTE (Bam1 @ 17/04/2012, 01:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No I wouldn't at all, a church is a religious place and some people would feel uncomfortable there. The fact that they are coming to the reception tells me they care for your family.

Everyone is free to make their own choices and it would be rude to pressure people into going to a church and disrespectful to the church itself if they only went to keep the peace.


This.

After seeing the reason, I have sympathy to their view. In fact, I think it would be a tough ask to have them attend and participate in a ceremony that is against their own religious beliefs (worse even I think than if they were atheist with no belief system), where they would not know what was being said.

I can understand them wanting to be there in support but going to a church and participating in the prayers etc that are not only of an opposing church but in an unknown language would be confronting.

I think if you listened to their concerns and didn't try to steamroll them with "but it happened 100,000s of years ago" (which has to be a major exaggeration) and "they're all the same really" then they may feel that they have other options than to miss out entirely.

#23 YandiGirl

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:16 PM

Ahhh.....the Greek/Maco problem. I understand this one well.

This is certainly not something that can be relegated to thousands of years ago. It is actually a problem that is current.

Now, help me understand. Your partner is Greek? You are...?

#24 Imaginary friend

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:19 PM

I dont think I would be offended.

PP's who are saying decline the invitation altogether rather than just go to the church -  I can imagine some people would be more offended if their family member refused to go altogether.

I dont think a christening is on the same level as a wedding either.

And people are free to decline any invitation for reasons of their own - the invitee to whom a soccer match was more important - I guess that is her perogative as much as any other reason - to people for whom christenings are not relevant,  I can see that being the case.


I do think not RSVP-ing is rude, however  I would probably follow it up with a phone call anyway.

#25 Katie_bella

Posted 17 April 2012 - 02:20 PM

I'm an athiest, but have attended my neice and nephew's christening, sat in the church and taken the pics. I figure it's part of being a family. I did however (graciously) refuse to be a god parent as i don't think it's an appropriate roll for an athiest. I'm an awesome aunty tho wink.gif .
I don't know much about the greek/macedonian thing, so can't give my opinion, sorry.
I suppose, what you do depends on how close a family member it involves and whether you  feel it's worth the confrontation.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.