Jump to content

1 child with illness - having another baby...


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
26 replies to this topic

#1 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:56 AM

thanks all original.gif

Edited by anon000, 17 April 2012 - 11:38 AM.


#2 sandgropergirl

Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:59 AM

for me personally? I'd choose C

#3 ubermum

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:00 AM

It would depend on the financial position of my family. I would choose B or C.

#4 ani1

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:02 AM

C would the best option.

#5 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:04 AM

sorry, I am wondering if I am misunderstanding the seriousness of the illness. I wonder if anyone would TTC naturally with no intention of terminating...

#6 2bellaboos

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:05 AM

I couldn't terminate a featus or discard an emryo so for me the options are A or D.

OP - this is a very personal decision to make. I know you are just putting your feelers out beause understanding how other's think and feel on the topic somehow how gives you some comfort when it comes time to make the decision but in these circumstances I don't think anyone really knows what they would do unless they've ACTUALLY been in that situation, so please take these responses with a grain of salt.

#7 ~LTM~

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:09 AM

If possible I would use IVF to screen for the disease, but not choose the gender if that makes sense.

#8 onyerbikeluv

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:11 AM

I'd choose C.

However we were actually thinking about this as our DD has a genetic condition (non-life threatening once managed, doesn't leave her in pain or affect development but a PITA nonetheless). After looking into gender selection for medical reasons we decided to take whatever we were given and try naturally. BUT if DD's condition had been such that the child would be in pain or have a poor quality of life, etc - then no doubt we would have gone with gender selection to rule that out.

In the end our decision was made easy for us as we found out that DD's was a "new mutation" (so genetic condition was not from us), so we are now waiting for #2 who can now expect to be unaffected.

I'm all for letting 'fate' or whatever decide, but then you think about how you would do anything to make life better for your affected child after birth, so why not before birth if you can?

#9 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:12 AM

If money is no object, c). If it was, a) I would research absolute everything on conceiving a girl & follow it to a tee (i know there are no guarantees). If it didn't work, and if I got a boy which was 50/50 chance, I would accept it as being meant to be.

OP, you have to do what's right for you not a bunch of strangers who unless they have been in a similar situation would have no idea on what you are feeling and your options. Probably better to talk to people that have been in a similar position. Best wishes OP.

#10 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:13 AM

ok, so for those who say they would use IVF to either have a girl, or as LTM said, screen for the disease (not sure if that is possible) - what if you couldnt afford IVF so you could only choose A, B or D?

#11 mez70

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:13 AM

I would go for option
E : undertake an IVF cycle using PGD which would then be able to screen any embyro's for MD. This would allow any healthy male embyro's as well as Femal embryo's a chance to be transferred.

We have faced a similar choice re sex selection for medical reasons and it is possible. It is more complicated than regular IVF as you are required to have genetics counselling and then you need to submit an application to the Infertility Treatment Authoriity (or what ever the current name for this board is) outlining the medical reasons EG sex determined medical condition and then wait for the verdict. To determine sex prior to transfer you are using PGD anyway so I would prefer to screen for the condition rather than sex as it would mean you have a greater chance of another child as all healthy males will still be able to be transferred as well as any females.  It would be a great idea to contact your states genetics department and ask if you could speak to some of the genetic counsellors as they are great sounding boards and know what options and what risks etc


#12 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:13 AM

It would depend on finances and severity of son's disability.

If there was enough money to provide whatever my son needs by way of aids and assistance, and  it looked like he would be able to lead a reasonably independent life then I'd do IVF if I wanted another child.

Is it possible to use PGD to screen for the actual illness, rather than manage the risk by gender selection?

#13 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:15 AM

for the record, this is not for me, it is a theoretical question.

#14 Kemma

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:18 AM

I'm not sure if your question is hypothetical but here's something to consider.

My uncle by marriage has MD. Out of his and my aunty's 3 children - 1 boy and 2 girls - only 1 child has MD. And she's a girl.

How does that fit with your situation?

#15 Bluenomi

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:20 AM

I would use IVF and get screened for the disease (provided it is once they can test for)

#16 la di dah

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:20 AM

QUOTE (anon000 @ 17/04/2012, 11:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ok, so for those who say they would use IVF to either have a girl, or as LTM said, screen for the disease (not sure if that is possible) - what if you couldnt afford IVF so you could only choose A, B or D?


If its a combined recessive from both parents, I would look at donor sperm or ova. AFAIK donor sperm is cheaper than IVF.

#17 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:20 AM

C or D. It would depend on which type of MD.

I have twins with multiple medical conditions. One just underwent muscle and liver biopsies to rule out MD, and we are now looking at some kind of metabolic/mitochondrial disorder that, judging by the recent deterioration, is likely to be degenerative. There's no way I would deliberately have another child if we knew there was 25% chance they would have it too.

Before we even realized that our boys' condition was going to be degenerative, we had decided not to have anymore children because of the incredible amount of care they require. We already had an older child who we felt was missing out on so much as it was. I fell pregnant accidentally (we were using contraception, but it obviously failed) and we thought long and hard about bringing another child into our family. In the end, we did and I'm very glad of that now because I'm absolutely besotted with him, but I do wish DH had organized his vacetomy earlier.

I think you really need to organize some genetic counselling for yourself and also you need to speak to your sons specialists about his future. Depending on which type of MD, the prognosis may be vastly different to what you are imagining.

Good luck. It's not an easy decision and there's so many more elements to consider than most people will realise.

#18 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:21 AM

QUOTE (Kemma @ 17/04/2012, 11:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm not sure if your question is hypothetical but here's something to consider.

My uncle by marriage has MD. Out of his and my aunty's 3 children - 1 boy and 2 girls - only 1 child has MD. And she's a girl.

How does that fit with your situation?


ahh! This is what I was wondering. From the information I read it said it was much more common to affect boys, however there is a small percentage of girls that are affected. It didn't say if it was genetic in the sense that if you had 1 child it would be highky likely to pass on to other children.

#19 Kemma

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:24 AM

As far as  aware it's no more likely to affect one sex than another. So that means that each child, regardless of their gender, has the same chance of having MD. Having a child with the disease previously has no affect on subsequent outcomes.

#20 mez70

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:24 AM

Ok if this is not for you WHY do you need to know??? Are you trying to understands someones thoughts or actions on this matter.

This is a very personal matter and I am actually sorry in way I replied earlier. There is no right or wrong answer and what is the best thing for one family is not another. It is also very painful and intimate. There are a lot of mums on these boards who have face this very choice those who have elected to use almost every option you have suggested and what each family has done is right for them, for their families. There a a lot of mums who chose not to undergo IVF however they had risky CVS and amnio's which could have caused a perfectly healhty babe to M/C or put the parents in a horrible place of having to choose.

If you are a friend or family member of someone facing this I suggest you support WHATEVER they choose as THEY are the ones who have to live with it


#21 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:28 AM

mez70 - no no, I don't know anyone, just hypothetical. I realise it is a personal decision. I was just trying to understand how the illness works really and then I started thinking about this side of it. I hope I haven't offended anyone...

Edited by anon000, 17 April 2012 - 11:29 AM.


#22 la di dah

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:30 AM

QUOTE (anon000 @ 17/04/2012, 11:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ahh! This is what I was wondering. From the information I read it said it was much more common to affect boys, however there is a small percentage of girls that are affected. It didn't say if it was genetic in the sense that if you had 1 child it would be highky likely to pass on to other children.


It depends which type of the disease it is.

QUOTE
There are three primary types of inheritance in which the faulty gene that causes MD can be passed along to offspring:

X-linked recessive: Genes that are X-linked recessive are carried by the female on one of the X chromosomes that determine the sex of the child. As such, only boys will inherit conditions determined by these genes. Their mothers, known as carriers, will usually not show signs of the disease. A son of a carrier of MD has about a 50 percent chance of developing the disease, while a daughter of a carrier has a 50 percent chance of being a carrier. If a boy is unaffected, he cannot pass on MD; however, daughters from a man with an X-linked dystrophy will all be carriers. Duchenne/Becker and Emery-Dreifuss are X-linked recessive.

Autosomal recessive: For this type of inheritance, both parents must carry and pass on the faulty gene. Neither parent shows any symptoms, but each of their offspring, regardless of gender, will have a 25 percent chance of developing the disease. Limb-girdle type 2 MD and distal myopathy are autosomal recessive.

Autosomal dominant: In the case of autosomal dominant inheritance, an affected person will have MD even though only one faulty gene has been passed along. This faulty gene can come from either parent, and it can affect either sex. Each child of an affected parent will have a 50 percent chance of developing MD. For this type of inheritance, the severity of MD can vary greatly. It can be so mild that it is not recognized, but it can also be severe. Myotonic dystrophy, facioscapulohumeral dystrophy (FSHD), and oculopharyngeal muscular dystrophy (OPMD) are autosomal dominant.


So there's a type where the woman can be a carrier but rarely show signs; in that case it would make sense to try for a girl.

#23 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:32 AM

thankyou ladidah....that is exactly what i was trying to find when I was googling original.gif

again, sorry, I hope my curiosity hasn't upset anyone.

#24 onyerbikeluv

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:32 AM

Edited out post cos I just read more recent replies ...

Edited by onyerbikeluv, 17 April 2012 - 11:34 AM.


#25 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:37 AM

QUOTE (Lani ♥ @ 17/04/2012, 11:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(because lets face it any child could be born with a disability)


good point Lani.

in the interest of not upsetting anyone, and now that I have the information I was originally after before my brain went off on a weird tangent, I might just leave it there. Thanks for your thoughts info original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

Win Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD

To celebrate the release of Love Child Season 2 on DVD from July 9, Essential Baby and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are giving away Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD to 13 lucky winners.

10 things I wish my pre-baby self knew

I look back at my pre-baby self and laugh at how ridiculously easy I actually had it. I remember complaining about how tired I was and how little time I had.

Creative ways to store your child's art

Ideas for storing your child's artworks have moved on from sticking them to the fridge door before guiltily dumping them in the bin.

Child abuse ignored because 'it's not your children': Waleed Aly

Waleed Aly takes apart the immigration law that's designed to "protect politicians"

How a newborn niece changed star Australian basketballer's life

In August 2013 star basketball Abby Bishop was 24-years-old and in the prime of her sporting career.

Guilt is my new shadow

No one warned me that when I gave birth there would be an additional side order of guilt.

12 brilliant Ikea hacks for kids’ rooms

Check out these creative upcycling ideas that transform regular Ikea items into something special for your little ones.

Child's nightmare about 'man with a light' turned out to be real

For three days, a three-year-old boy had been saying there was "a man with a light" outside his window at night.

Toilet truths after giving birth

The thought of going to the toilet after giving birth is often feared, but there are ways to make it less painful.

Woman asks strangers for $1 million to stop her having an abortion

An anonymous woman is taking an extreme moral and ethical stand by seeking $1 million in donations to prevent her going ahead with a planned abortion.

How a woman's dying wish made another woman a mum

"I kind of think about, 'What did I do beforehand? What kept me so busy back then?' Because now I'm really busy."

The parenting do-over: what six parents did differently second time around

In playgrounds across Australia, you can hear parents lamenting, "When we have our next baby I swear I won't be doing THAT again".

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.