Jump to content

1 child with illness - having another baby...


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
26 replies to this topic

#1 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:56 AM

thanks all original.gif

Edited by anon000, 17 April 2012 - 11:38 AM.


#2 sandgropergirl

Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:59 AM

for me personally? I'd choose C

#3 ubermum

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:00 AM

It would depend on the financial position of my family. I would choose B or C.

#4 ani1

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:02 AM

C would the best option.

#5 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:04 AM

sorry, I am wondering if I am misunderstanding the seriousness of the illness. I wonder if anyone would TTC naturally with no intention of terminating...

#6 2bellaboos

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:05 AM

I couldn't terminate a featus or discard an emryo so for me the options are A or D.

OP - this is a very personal decision to make. I know you are just putting your feelers out beause understanding how other's think and feel on the topic somehow how gives you some comfort when it comes time to make the decision but in these circumstances I don't think anyone really knows what they would do unless they've ACTUALLY been in that situation, so please take these responses with a grain of salt.

#7 ~LTM~

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:09 AM

If possible I would use IVF to screen for the disease, but not choose the gender if that makes sense.

#8 onyerbikeluv

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:11 AM

I'd choose C.

However we were actually thinking about this as our DD has a genetic condition (non-life threatening once managed, doesn't leave her in pain or affect development but a PITA nonetheless). After looking into gender selection for medical reasons we decided to take whatever we were given and try naturally. BUT if DD's condition had been such that the child would be in pain or have a poor quality of life, etc - then no doubt we would have gone with gender selection to rule that out.

In the end our decision was made easy for us as we found out that DD's was a "new mutation" (so genetic condition was not from us), so we are now waiting for #2 who can now expect to be unaffected.

I'm all for letting 'fate' or whatever decide, but then you think about how you would do anything to make life better for your affected child after birth, so why not before birth if you can?

#9 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:12 AM

If money is no object, c). If it was, a) I would research absolute everything on conceiving a girl & follow it to a tee (i know there are no guarantees). If it didn't work, and if I got a boy which was 50/50 chance, I would accept it as being meant to be.

OP, you have to do what's right for you not a bunch of strangers who unless they have been in a similar situation would have no idea on what you are feeling and your options. Probably better to talk to people that have been in a similar position. Best wishes OP.

#10 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:13 AM

ok, so for those who say they would use IVF to either have a girl, or as LTM said, screen for the disease (not sure if that is possible) - what if you couldnt afford IVF so you could only choose A, B or D?

#11 mez70

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:13 AM

I would go for option
E : undertake an IVF cycle using PGD which would then be able to screen any embyro's for MD. This would allow any healthy male embyro's as well as Femal embryo's a chance to be transferred.

We have faced a similar choice re sex selection for medical reasons and it is possible. It is more complicated than regular IVF as you are required to have genetics counselling and then you need to submit an application to the Infertility Treatment Authoriity (or what ever the current name for this board is) outlining the medical reasons EG sex determined medical condition and then wait for the verdict. To determine sex prior to transfer you are using PGD anyway so I would prefer to screen for the condition rather than sex as it would mean you have a greater chance of another child as all healthy males will still be able to be transferred as well as any females.  It would be a great idea to contact your states genetics department and ask if you could speak to some of the genetic counsellors as they are great sounding boards and know what options and what risks etc


#12 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:13 AM

It would depend on finances and severity of son's disability.

If there was enough money to provide whatever my son needs by way of aids and assistance, and  it looked like he would be able to lead a reasonably independent life then I'd do IVF if I wanted another child.

Is it possible to use PGD to screen for the actual illness, rather than manage the risk by gender selection?

#13 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:15 AM

for the record, this is not for me, it is a theoretical question.

#14 Kemma

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:18 AM

I'm not sure if your question is hypothetical but here's something to consider.

My uncle by marriage has MD. Out of his and my aunty's 3 children - 1 boy and 2 girls - only 1 child has MD. And she's a girl.

How does that fit with your situation?

#15 Bluenomi

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:20 AM

I would use IVF and get screened for the disease (provided it is once they can test for)

#16 la di dah

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:20 AM

QUOTE (anon000 @ 17/04/2012, 11:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ok, so for those who say they would use IVF to either have a girl, or as LTM said, screen for the disease (not sure if that is possible) - what if you couldnt afford IVF so you could only choose A, B or D?


If its a combined recessive from both parents, I would look at donor sperm or ova. AFAIK donor sperm is cheaper than IVF.

#17 Guest_~Karla~_*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:20 AM

C or D. It would depend on which type of MD.

I have twins with multiple medical conditions. One just underwent muscle and liver biopsies to rule out MD, and we are now looking at some kind of metabolic/mitochondrial disorder that, judging by the recent deterioration, is likely to be degenerative. There's no way I would deliberately have another child if we knew there was 25% chance they would have it too.

Before we even realized that our boys' condition was going to be degenerative, we had decided not to have anymore children because of the incredible amount of care they require. We already had an older child who we felt was missing out on so much as it was. I fell pregnant accidentally (we were using contraception, but it obviously failed) and we thought long and hard about bringing another child into our family. In the end, we did and I'm very glad of that now because I'm absolutely besotted with him, but I do wish DH had organized his vacetomy earlier.

I think you really need to organize some genetic counselling for yourself and also you need to speak to your sons specialists about his future. Depending on which type of MD, the prognosis may be vastly different to what you are imagining.

Good luck. It's not an easy decision and there's so many more elements to consider than most people will realise.

#18 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:21 AM

QUOTE (Kemma @ 17/04/2012, 11:18 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm not sure if your question is hypothetical but here's something to consider.

My uncle by marriage has MD. Out of his and my aunty's 3 children - 1 boy and 2 girls - only 1 child has MD. And she's a girl.

How does that fit with your situation?


ahh! This is what I was wondering. From the information I read it said it was much more common to affect boys, however there is a small percentage of girls that are affected. It didn't say if it was genetic in the sense that if you had 1 child it would be highky likely to pass on to other children.

#19 Kemma

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:24 AM

As far as  aware it's no more likely to affect one sex than another. So that means that each child, regardless of their gender, has the same chance of having MD. Having a child with the disease previously has no affect on subsequent outcomes.

#20 mez70

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:24 AM

Ok if this is not for you WHY do you need to know??? Are you trying to understands someones thoughts or actions on this matter.

This is a very personal matter and I am actually sorry in way I replied earlier. There is no right or wrong answer and what is the best thing for one family is not another. It is also very painful and intimate. There are a lot of mums on these boards who have face this very choice those who have elected to use almost every option you have suggested and what each family has done is right for them, for their families. There a a lot of mums who chose not to undergo IVF however they had risky CVS and amnio's which could have caused a perfectly healhty babe to M/C or put the parents in a horrible place of having to choose.

If you are a friend or family member of someone facing this I suggest you support WHATEVER they choose as THEY are the ones who have to live with it


#21 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:28 AM

mez70 - no no, I don't know anyone, just hypothetical. I realise it is a personal decision. I was just trying to understand how the illness works really and then I started thinking about this side of it. I hope I haven't offended anyone...

Edited by anon000, 17 April 2012 - 11:29 AM.


#22 la di dah

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:30 AM

QUOTE (anon000 @ 17/04/2012, 11:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ahh! This is what I was wondering. From the information I read it said it was much more common to affect boys, however there is a small percentage of girls that are affected. It didn't say if it was genetic in the sense that if you had 1 child it would be highky likely to pass on to other children.


It depends which type of the disease it is.

QUOTE
There are three primary types of inheritance in which the faulty gene that causes MD can be passed along to offspring:

X-linked recessive: Genes that are X-linked recessive are carried by the female on one of the X chromosomes that determine the sex of the child. As such, only boys will inherit conditions determined by these genes. Their mothers, known as carriers, will usually not show signs of the disease. A son of a carrier of MD has about a 50 percent chance of developing the disease, while a daughter of a carrier has a 50 percent chance of being a carrier. If a boy is unaffected, he cannot pass on MD; however, daughters from a man with an X-linked dystrophy will all be carriers. Duchenne/Becker and Emery-Dreifuss are X-linked recessive.

Autosomal recessive: For this type of inheritance, both parents must carry and pass on the faulty gene. Neither parent shows any symptoms, but each of their offspring, regardless of gender, will have a 25 percent chance of developing the disease. Limb-girdle type 2 MD and distal myopathy are autosomal recessive.

Autosomal dominant: In the case of autosomal dominant inheritance, an affected person will have MD even though only one faulty gene has been passed along. This faulty gene can come from either parent, and it can affect either sex. Each child of an affected parent will have a 50 percent chance of developing MD. For this type of inheritance, the severity of MD can vary greatly. It can be so mild that it is not recognized, but it can also be severe. Myotonic dystrophy, facioscapulohumeral dystrophy (FSHD), and oculopharyngeal muscular dystrophy (OPMD) are autosomal dominant.


So there's a type where the woman can be a carrier but rarely show signs; in that case it would make sense to try for a girl.

#23 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:32 AM

thankyou ladidah....that is exactly what i was trying to find when I was googling original.gif

again, sorry, I hope my curiosity hasn't upset anyone.

#24 onyerbikeluv

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:32 AM

Edited out post cos I just read more recent replies ...

Edited by onyerbikeluv, 17 April 2012 - 11:34 AM.


#25 anon000

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:37 AM

QUOTE (Lani ♥ @ 17/04/2012, 11:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(because lets face it any child could be born with a disability)


good point Lani.

in the interest of not upsetting anyone, and now that I have the information I was originally after before my brain went off on a weird tangent, I might just leave it there. Thanks for your thoughts info original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Australia's top baby names of 2014

The numbers have been crunched and it's official: Australian parents are having a bit of an 'O' moment.

As a guilty mum: the best advice for treating head lice

Just like a horror movie ... THEY'RE BAAAAAACK. So what works in treating and avoiding head lice and nits?

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

Confirmed: Kate Middleton is in labour

The Duchess of Cambridge is in the early stages of labor at St Mary's Hospital.

Baby-led weaning worked for us

My baby wasn't interested in food - until we tried something new. Now she's eating it all, and it often comes from my plate.

Parenting an early walker

Watching your child take their first wobbly steps is one of the best parenting highs you'll ever experience. But with that high comes a new reality.

Overdue and over it

A watched womb never labours ... or at least mine didn't.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

'Paralysed bride' becomes a mum

Rachelle Friedman Chapman was preparing to marry the man of her dreams when tragedy struck four years ago.

Why the royal baby will look more like Prince Philip than Prince William

No matter what the occasion the world always seems to be waiting for Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Surprise baby born on toilet

Discovering your wife has just given birth on the toilet would be a surprise for anyone. But the shock would be even greater if neither you or your partner knew you were expecting a baby.

5 spooky photos with babies and children

These five photos show some ghostly images - but are they real? Do you believe in the spirit world?

Does it matter how much time you spend with your children?

Does spending more time with your kids help their development? This is a more complex topic than it may seem.

Rare condition diagnosed during optional scan

A mother who opted for a 4D scan late in pregnancy discovered her unborn baby had a rare brain disorder.

Cleveland captives speak about their decade of terror - and their futures

"I think we were just tired of people talking, trying to tell our stories, and they had no idea, no clue, what we went through."

Proof it's impossible to not join in a toddler's laughter

They say laughter is the best medicine. If that's true Tom Fletcher and his son should live long, healthy lives.

How I really feel about my drug-free birth

Do I feel 'smug'? No. Nor do I feel remotely superior. Each birth was valid and valuable in its own right, producing, as it did, a healthy baby.

How to talk about your pregnancy at work

The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.

Tell us your story to win!

To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.

The Goss

Sonia Kruger: 'One baby is enough'

The popular TV host has no plans for a sibling for her new daughter Maggie.

Where to get help to help your baby sleep

There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Playtime guide:

A new area on our site for all your playtime and learning fun with baby - specially brought to you by Fisher-Price Play IQ?. PLUS your chance to win a year's supply of toys.

Celebrate being a mum with Offspring

This Mother's Day, treat yourself to possibly winning an ultimate Mother's Day gift pack valued at $250 including the Offspring Box Set. Enter now!

Vintage baby names having a comeback

What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.

How to play with your newborn

Even though they're immobile and can't speak, there are plenty of ways you can engage and communicate with your newborn to stimulate their physical, cognitive and emotional development.

Mum of six faked cancer to get donations, police claim

Elizabeth Edmonds' husband posted some devastating news on Facebook last year.

I'll admit it: I have last child parenting fatigue

If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.

Cobie Smulders speaks about her battle with ovarian cancer

The 'How I Met Your Mother' star has revealed that she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 25 - and was told she'd never conceive naturally.

Essentials your child needs to grow

What does your baby need to grow up healthy? The experts give their advice.

Coroner warns of 'dangerous' cot

A UK coroner has warned of the dangers of a bedside cot after the death of a newborn baby who choked to death this month.

Building your baby's emotional and social skills through play

Babies are social beings who enjoy being around people they know and love, especially you.

Why suicide prevention is everybody's responsibility

Everyone agrees we need to do more to care for people at risk from suicide, the problem is what.

Exhaustion is not the same as tiredness

Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.

Five posterior babies, four home births

I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.

Mum's list of birthday gift demands goes viral

We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.

Kate Middleton to receive 'loyalty discount' for second birth

Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.

Fish & chip shop owner's sad note goes viral

A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.

Pregnant women need good nutrition advice, not judgment

Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.

William Tyrrell's mum speaks out: 'We hope he is still alive'

The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".

Family comes first for 23-year-old Tommy Connolly

Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.

Newborn all-girl quintuplets 'doing great'

The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.