Jump to content

so sad
I want another baby....


  • Please log in to reply
17 replies to this topic

#1 lovebeingamum76

Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:01 AM

Hi all

How on earth do you move on when you know another baby is just not going to happen???? Apart from not being able to handle the SK atm medically I have been told not to have another baby....I know deep down it would be stupid to have one so I wont do it but i get so sad to think I will not have another bub in my arms one day....
I start thinking ok well ill concentrate on me now my 2 kids are at school but I have such sad days it makes me think well maybe I could try for 1 more bub.Stupid!!!!!!!!

Obviuosly today is  one of my sad days.............

#2 paddyboo

Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:14 AM

I have no advice but I am sorry. I know how you feel though. I know we may never get another bub. It's a horrible thing. Do you work or have a hobby you put time into?

#3 KT1978

Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:25 AM

We are the same but over time I'm slowly accepting us.

It's worse when I dwell on the "chances" of it happening, if I think it won't happen it's easier to move on. Hoping that it can happen after dp finishes chemo adds stress.  If anything the last few years of ttc and dp getting sick, not being able to try right now has helped me in some way because I'm not in that desperate ttc panic anymore.

I try not to dwell on things like dd not having siblings. I just get in a downward spiral.

Try to focus on the easiness of having one nine year old - financially we are in a great place, we can go on overseas holidays, out for dinner etc.  only a few years and she's in high school and I can do what I want career wise.  We can make spur of the moment decisions like let's go skiing next weekend - can't do that with a baby.

#4 *~*ME*~*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:49 AM

I have also been told no more, but i do have 4 and i know i have been blessed. Its just when the decision is made for you, its not fair sad.gif

#5 itsaboysworld

Posted 17 April 2012 - 09:00 AM

I know the feeling too. I dont know how you get past it, except to look at the practical reasons not to and repeat them to yourself often enough that it gives your some perspective. I dont think anything stops it from being completely heartwrenching though, no matter how many kids youve had or why you cant have more.

#6 strawberrycakes

Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:48 AM

I understand how your feeling.  My DH & I can not have children naturally, I have one child only & funding another cycle of IVF/ICSI is just so out of our realm that we will not be having anymore children.

My DD starts school next year so to cope we concentrate on all the positives that can come through not having another child & in turn me not having to be a sahm anymore.

I am currently studying and fingers crossed but it looks like I may be returning to full time work very soon.  DH & I are planning a holiday & looking forward to having some financial stress removed from having two wages again after nearly 5 years of being on one wage.

I have had time to come to terms with not having any more children & after 12 mths I am OK with it.  I am looking forward to getting a personal life back to some extent & although I do worry that DD may be lonely being an only child we know that once she is at daycare & then school full time she will make some good friendships.

Some days I look at babies or pregnant women & I get that little pang of jealousy but I just try & remind myself of the positives & just be thankful that I am able to experience motherhood at all.

Best wishes

#7 EssentialBludger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:54 AM

I understand. I sometimes feel a pang when I see a pregnant woman or a newborn. But I need to be honest with myself, the pregnancy and newborn stage is the only bit that I truly love. I don't do toddlers well. So I just repeat to myself "babies turn into toddlers". Over and over again. Tounge1.gif

#8 lovebeingamum76

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:59 AM

Thanks ladies...I am trying to get myself into work again.I have just doing cert 3 in child studies and hope to get into FDC  one I do a couple of things to my house.I still want to be here for the kids morning and afternoon so this is the best job for me so I can be here ATM. I am hoping once I get stuck into that things will get better......
I was pretty much a single mum and loved the newborn- 4 year old stage lol....Now they drive me nuts but love them to pieces lol..

Edited by lovebeingamum76, 17 April 2012 - 12:01 PM.


#9 Peace&Love

Posted 17 April 2012 - 12:08 PM

It does get slightly easier as time goes on but you do have your days sad.gif  (hugs)

#10 saxa

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:06 AM

I can't have anymore children we have one DS who is 8.

I pretty much feel the same way as KT1978.

It does get easier as the time goes on the hardest part for me was having the decision taken away from me thanks to cancer and having to have a hysterectomy.

It has been 6 years now and there are times I do still get a little sad, but no where near as much as I used to.

#11 ali27

Posted 18 April 2012 - 11:22 AM

I know it's difficult, but I think it's easiest to think of different chapters in your life. Babies times are over, but it doesn't mean that there can't be other positive and enjoyable things to come.

#12 Canberra Chick

Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:18 PM

We have actively decided to stop trying for number 3. After 2 years I hadn't even had a MC, just no pregnancies at all and my cycle and moods were getting worse, so I am back on the combined pill. sad.gif

It is sad, but I am being positive and thinking of all the fun things we can do as a family now DD is getting older, more independent and TT'd (soon!!!) and in a few years no expense from childcare too. And as the gap got bigger, I was feeling less excited about going through the tiredness and weight gain again.

I'm sure when I start selling off the pram, giving away/selling the toys/bags of clothes etc I'll feel sad again. Mind you, the extra space will be amazing!

I guess just try to focus on positives and enjoy your two gorgeous children as they grow.

#13 ASoccerMum

Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:30 PM

I know how you feel. I'm sorry - I have no advice for you, just wanted to let you know you are not alone (as you can see from the lovely responses here)

#14 protart roflcoptor

Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:36 PM

It is a pang, but it will ease.

And just think, you will have that much more time and energy to focus on your children and step-children and get things working properly in your newly blended family without the added issue of a pregnancy and then newborn. It really does sound like you have a lot ahead of you in that area.



#15 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 19 April 2012 - 06:38 PM

*

Edited by HopeFaithLove, 20 April 2012 - 12:56 PM.


#16 Snorlax

Posted 19 April 2012 - 07:23 PM

I'm so sorry.

I hope I'm not being insensitive in posting here.

I did feel like this too. I had trouble TTC #2 & had resigned myself to the fact that #1 would be an only child, then of course things changed. I always wanted 3 but due to past trouble I didn't think it would happen naturally for us & so we looking into foster caring. I was set on that when #3 came along & 'disrupted' things.

I agree with all the advice given. Hobbies & time will make it easier. I also (during my dark times) found myself comparing my situation to others who seemed to get pregnant at the drop of a hat & had no trouble TTC & that only brought me down. A good friend suggested viewing their situation as separate than mine - yes sounds easier than it was! - but in time I found that forcing myself to do this helped a little.

Big hugs. I'm so sorry.

bbighug.gif

#17 Tall Poppy

Posted 19 April 2012 - 07:29 PM

I would dearly love a third child. We won't be having one though as DH refuses. I've thrown myself into a uni degree by correspondence, it is helping but hasn't stopped the feelings as yet. I also know a few pregnant women at the moment which I don't think is helping. Hopefully it eases with time for us all.

#18 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 19 April 2012 - 07:37 PM

*

Edited by HopeFaithLove, 20 April 2012 - 12:56 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

The mum who never met her baby

There was one more thing Kymberlie Shepherd wanted to experience in life - motherhood. But a rare illness took her first.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.