Jump to content

so sad
I want another baby....


  • Please log in to reply
17 replies to this topic

#1 lovebeingamum76

Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:01 AM

Hi all

How on earth do you move on when you know another baby is just not going to happen???? Apart from not being able to handle the SK atm medically I have been told not to have another baby....I know deep down it would be stupid to have one so I wont do it but i get so sad to think I will not have another bub in my arms one day....
I start thinking ok well ill concentrate on me now my 2 kids are at school but I have such sad days it makes me think well maybe I could try for 1 more bub.Stupid!!!!!!!!

Obviuosly today is  one of my sad days.............

#2 paddyboo

Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:14 AM

I have no advice but I am sorry. I know how you feel though. I know we may never get another bub. It's a horrible thing. Do you work or have a hobby you put time into?

#3 KT1978

Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:25 AM

We are the same but over time I'm slowly accepting us.

It's worse when I dwell on the "chances" of it happening, if I think it won't happen it's easier to move on. Hoping that it can happen after dp finishes chemo adds stress.  If anything the last few years of ttc and dp getting sick, not being able to try right now has helped me in some way because I'm not in that desperate ttc panic anymore.

I try not to dwell on things like dd not having siblings. I just get in a downward spiral.

Try to focus on the easiness of having one nine year old - financially we are in a great place, we can go on overseas holidays, out for dinner etc.  only a few years and she's in high school and I can do what I want career wise.  We can make spur of the moment decisions like let's go skiing next weekend - can't do that with a baby.

#4 *~*ME*~*

Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:49 AM

I have also been told no more, but i do have 4 and i know i have been blessed. Its just when the decision is made for you, its not fair sad.gif

#5 itsaboysworld

Posted 17 April 2012 - 09:00 AM

I know the feeling too. I dont know how you get past it, except to look at the practical reasons not to and repeat them to yourself often enough that it gives your some perspective. I dont think anything stops it from being completely heartwrenching though, no matter how many kids youve had or why you cant have more.

#6 strawberrycakes

Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:48 AM

I understand how your feeling.  My DH & I can not have children naturally, I have one child only & funding another cycle of IVF/ICSI is just so out of our realm that we will not be having anymore children.

My DD starts school next year so to cope we concentrate on all the positives that can come through not having another child & in turn me not having to be a sahm anymore.

I am currently studying and fingers crossed but it looks like I may be returning to full time work very soon.  DH & I are planning a holiday & looking forward to having some financial stress removed from having two wages again after nearly 5 years of being on one wage.

I have had time to come to terms with not having any more children & after 12 mths I am OK with it.  I am looking forward to getting a personal life back to some extent & although I do worry that DD may be lonely being an only child we know that once she is at daycare & then school full time she will make some good friendships.

Some days I look at babies or pregnant women & I get that little pang of jealousy but I just try & remind myself of the positives & just be thankful that I am able to experience motherhood at all.

Best wishes

#7 EssentialBludger

Posted 17 April 2012 - 10:54 AM

I understand. I sometimes feel a pang when I see a pregnant woman or a newborn. But I need to be honest with myself, the pregnancy and newborn stage is the only bit that I truly love. I don't do toddlers well. So I just repeat to myself "babies turn into toddlers". Over and over again. Tounge1.gif

#8 lovebeingamum76

Posted 17 April 2012 - 11:59 AM

Thanks ladies...I am trying to get myself into work again.I have just doing cert 3 in child studies and hope to get into FDC  one I do a couple of things to my house.I still want to be here for the kids morning and afternoon so this is the best job for me so I can be here ATM. I am hoping once I get stuck into that things will get better......
I was pretty much a single mum and loved the newborn- 4 year old stage lol....Now they drive me nuts but love them to pieces lol..

Edited by lovebeingamum76, 17 April 2012 - 12:01 PM.


#9 Peace&Love

Posted 17 April 2012 - 12:08 PM

It does get slightly easier as time goes on but you do have your days sad.gif  (hugs)

#10 saxa

Posted 18 April 2012 - 10:06 AM

I can't have anymore children we have one DS who is 8.

I pretty much feel the same way as KT1978.

It does get easier as the time goes on the hardest part for me was having the decision taken away from me thanks to cancer and having to have a hysterectomy.

It has been 6 years now and there are times I do still get a little sad, but no where near as much as I used to.

#11 ali27

Posted 18 April 2012 - 11:22 AM

I know it's difficult, but I think it's easiest to think of different chapters in your life. Babies times are over, but it doesn't mean that there can't be other positive and enjoyable things to come.

#12 Canberra Chick

Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:18 PM

We have actively decided to stop trying for number 3. After 2 years I hadn't even had a MC, just no pregnancies at all and my cycle and moods were getting worse, so I am back on the combined pill. sad.gif

It is sad, but I am being positive and thinking of all the fun things we can do as a family now DD is getting older, more independent and TT'd (soon!!!) and in a few years no expense from childcare too. And as the gap got bigger, I was feeling less excited about going through the tiredness and weight gain again.

I'm sure when I start selling off the pram, giving away/selling the toys/bags of clothes etc I'll feel sad again. Mind you, the extra space will be amazing!

I guess just try to focus on positives and enjoy your two gorgeous children as they grow.

#13 ASoccerMum

Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:30 PM

I know how you feel. I'm sorry - I have no advice for you, just wanted to let you know you are not alone (as you can see from the lovely responses here)

#14 protart roflcoptor

Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:36 PM

It is a pang, but it will ease.

And just think, you will have that much more time and energy to focus on your children and step-children and get things working properly in your newly blended family without the added issue of a pregnancy and then newborn. It really does sound like you have a lot ahead of you in that area.



#15 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 19 April 2012 - 06:38 PM

*

Edited by HopeFaithLove, 20 April 2012 - 12:56 PM.


#16 Snorlax

Posted 19 April 2012 - 07:23 PM

I'm so sorry.

I hope I'm not being insensitive in posting here.

I did feel like this too. I had trouble TTC #2 & had resigned myself to the fact that #1 would be an only child, then of course things changed. I always wanted 3 but due to past trouble I didn't think it would happen naturally for us & so we looking into foster caring. I was set on that when #3 came along & 'disrupted' things.

I agree with all the advice given. Hobbies & time will make it easier. I also (during my dark times) found myself comparing my situation to others who seemed to get pregnant at the drop of a hat & had no trouble TTC & that only brought me down. A good friend suggested viewing their situation as separate than mine - yes sounds easier than it was! - but in time I found that forcing myself to do this helped a little.

Big hugs. I'm so sorry.

bbighug.gif

#17 Tall Poppy

Posted 19 April 2012 - 07:29 PM

I would dearly love a third child. We won't be having one though as DH refuses. I've thrown myself into a uni degree by correspondence, it is helping but hasn't stopped the feelings as yet. I also know a few pregnant women at the moment which I don't think is helping. Hopefully it eases with time for us all.

#18 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 19 April 2012 - 07:37 PM

*

Edited by HopeFaithLove, 20 April 2012 - 12:56 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

The 'no children' wedding invite

It was the wedding of one of my oldest and dearest friends, and she had invited me to be her bridesmaid. It was quite an honour. But there was one problem.

Baby Dylan recovering well after spending five days alone

 For up to five days he lay alone after his mother died of a suspected drug overdose, but eight-month-old Dylan Micallef has made an incredible recovery.

The mystery of William Tyrell, little boy lost

The question remains: How does a little boy simply vanish without a trace?

Woman fights off robber, then gives birth

A thief in the US got more than he bargained for when he try to rob a woman who was nine months pregnant because he figured she would be an easy target.

Video: Two-year-old tells mum off for laughing at her

This little girl is not happy that her mum started laughing during her performance - so she tells her exactly how she feels about it.

Coping with a bolter

My 15-month-old has suddenly added a burst of real speed to her toddle. She should be classed a flight risk.

Single, 51 and pregnant

Tracey Kahn didn't realise she wanted to become a mother until she was well into her 40s. Now 51, she is pregnant with her second child.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

The 'no children' wedding invite

"It's her wedding, so the day is all about her, not your baby." How major fall-out can occur over a simple wedding invitation.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.