Jump to content

Feeling nervous about 2nd home birth


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 MegsW

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:32 AM

I had a wonderful homebirth with our DS#3 2 years ago and it was incredible.  I loved it, it felt right and I remember both DH and I saying almost immediately after the birth that if we ever have another child then it will be at home.

I am all approved for a homebirth through our local program (with the condition of an actively managed 3rs stage - but I can deal with that!) and have met my midwife who is lovely and have my DH and parents support (they were our childrens support people at the last birth).

But for some silly reason I am feeling nervous about it this time.  Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.

I dont' know why I am feeling like this and I know if I get too blocked up with the negative feelings that I can go to the birth centre and have my midwives support me there, but I really think I will regret it.

Has anyone else felt like this and how did they work through it?

Thank you
xxxx

#2 papilio

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:41 AM

I have only had the one homebirth, but I took a lot of comfort from the fact that the first time I gave birth was quite a smooth process.  Although I'm not really into mantras, I kept thinking to myself that my body had done this before and knew how to do it. I found that really helpful.

I hope that is helpful!  I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes quickly and smoothly.

#3 deejie

Posted 17 April 2012 - 12:35 PM

I think it is normal to be apprehensive and nervous about giving birth, no matter where the location. I too was worried that birthing home that I would not be able to "handle" labour or that I would feel completely out of control. It is hard not to let the "what ifs" fly around your head sometimes.

At times like that, I would remind myself that sometimes we can over analyse labour. I read Ina May Gaskin and much of what she said about turning off the logical/analysis part of your brain and surrendering your body to the process of birth really made sense to me. Sometimes it is too easy to get caught up in negative feelings. Like PP, I'm not much in to mantras, but I would repeat to myself that my body had done this before and knew what to do. Trust your body. In labour, I made a quiet spot for myself in my head (this sounds batty doesn't it?) and just closed my eyes, focused on that spot and let my body do what it had to. I think Ina May referred to it as your primal self (or something like that). Maybe the more well known term is getting in the "zone", who knows?

Remember that you have a wonderful support group around you. You are getting to know and trust your midwife. You will be in an environment where you feel safe and comfortable. These are all very important things.

Hope this helps and that you have a very smooth pregnancy and birth original.gif

#4 blessedwithblueandpink

Posted 18 April 2012 - 11:37 PM

Hi
I have had 4 and went through the same fears and doubts with them all.
i think its a process we have to go through to prepare.
All went well with all of them and were just wonderful thank God
All the best
xx

#5 new~mum~reenie

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:26 PM

Thank you for posting this OP.

I had first baby at home and it was awesome. A really lovely, positive experience. Baby had a lovely entrance into this world, APGARS 9 & 10. DH loved being home in our space and being involved etc. Great experience all round.

But, for some reason, I feel just as nervous this time as last time!!

I think, as pp noted, irrespective of planned place of birth, it's still a bit scary! I have no reason to believe there will be any issues.... But, After all, your planning on pushing a melon out the lemon hole! biggrin.gif

For me, I remind myself that worrying can't do anything constructive, especially at this stage (29 wks tomorrow). And if anything changes, I or the  MWs will just deal with it when it happens. In other words, just surrender.

#6 meemee75

Posted 23 April 2012 - 08:54 AM

I was the same as New mum reenie.

I had my first at home with no issues, but the "what if's" do creep in when planning another birth.

QUOTE
Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.


My second birth at home went fine although I did find it a harder labour towards the end.
DS was only  400g bigger than DD but his head was 4.5cm bigger which I think made the difference.

I did lose the plot in transition second time around but that's ok too original.gif  it wouldn't have been any different in a hospital unless I had an epidural in and in the end i got there without waking the neighbours


#7 MegsW

Posted 26 April 2012 - 08:32 PM

Thanks everyone.  I think that you guys have hit it on the head, just nerves with each birth, not necessarily this one.  I need to start doing some you tube viewing and some reading I think to start getting into that headspace.  

I HATE the drive to hospital and feeling unsure as to when to head in so being at home was so lovely last time.

I also lose it through transition so I told my midwives last time to remind me why I was feeling like I was and there was only once I did the whole - I can't do it, I just want it to be over.  But even as I said it I reminded myself that it was transition and was just so happy it was almost over and I was going to meet Finn that I was able to refocus properly.

I am sure it will be the same.

I guess the other thing is I still have to get to know my midwife as my last one is now the manager of the homebirth program so doesn't see women now!   I am sure once I build my relationship with her I will feel better too!

Thanks again, good to just talk about it and know I am not alone in feeling nerves already LOL!





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

eBay jacket may hold clue to murdered girl's identity

A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.

New mum forced back to work early due to paid parental leave 'technicality'

Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".

Pregnant Amanda Palmer poses naked for book drive

It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.

The conception dilemma facing many parents today

Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.

The wedding photo the bridesmaid would rather forget

We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.

Pregnant TV meteorologist takes on haters

Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".

Honest words from first-time mums

I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.

Adorable baby experiences rain for the first time, couldn't be happier

Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.

What it's really like to start a family in your fifties

Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.

'Biggest hypocrite ever': Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account

An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.

Long recovery ahead for girl hit by car weeks after baby brother's death

A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.

How to react when a toddler lies

Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?

The circular experience of a Centrelink client

A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.

Kelly Clarkson announces live on stage: 'I'm pregnant!'

Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.

Hack

How to search the leaked Ashley Madison data

At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.

Mum dances her way through labour

There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.

'Rest in peace, my little lion': premmie baby Jacob passes away

Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.

Mum killed three young sons 'to help her daughter', prosecutor says

Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.

Shorter women have shorter pregnancies: study

When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.