Jump to content

Feeling nervous about 2nd home birth


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 MegsW

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:32 AM

I had a wonderful homebirth with our DS#3 2 years ago and it was incredible.  I loved it, it felt right and I remember both DH and I saying almost immediately after the birth that if we ever have another child then it will be at home.

I am all approved for a homebirth through our local program (with the condition of an actively managed 3rs stage - but I can deal with that!) and have met my midwife who is lovely and have my DH and parents support (they were our childrens support people at the last birth).

But for some silly reason I am feeling nervous about it this time.  Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.

I dont' know why I am feeling like this and I know if I get too blocked up with the negative feelings that I can go to the birth centre and have my midwives support me there, but I really think I will regret it.

Has anyone else felt like this and how did they work through it?

Thank you
xxxx

#2 papilio

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:41 AM

I have only had the one homebirth, but I took a lot of comfort from the fact that the first time I gave birth was quite a smooth process.  Although I'm not really into mantras, I kept thinking to myself that my body had done this before and knew how to do it. I found that really helpful.

I hope that is helpful!  I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes quickly and smoothly.

#3 deejie

Posted 17 April 2012 - 12:35 PM

I think it is normal to be apprehensive and nervous about giving birth, no matter where the location. I too was worried that birthing home that I would not be able to "handle" labour or that I would feel completely out of control. It is hard not to let the "what ifs" fly around your head sometimes.

At times like that, I would remind myself that sometimes we can over analyse labour. I read Ina May Gaskin and much of what she said about turning off the logical/analysis part of your brain and surrendering your body to the process of birth really made sense to me. Sometimes it is too easy to get caught up in negative feelings. Like PP, I'm not much in to mantras, but I would repeat to myself that my body had done this before and knew what to do. Trust your body. In labour, I made a quiet spot for myself in my head (this sounds batty doesn't it?) and just closed my eyes, focused on that spot and let my body do what it had to. I think Ina May referred to it as your primal self (or something like that). Maybe the more well known term is getting in the "zone", who knows?

Remember that you have a wonderful support group around you. You are getting to know and trust your midwife. You will be in an environment where you feel safe and comfortable. These are all very important things.

Hope this helps and that you have a very smooth pregnancy and birth original.gif

#4 blessedwithblueandpink

Posted 18 April 2012 - 11:37 PM

Hi
I have had 4 and went through the same fears and doubts with them all.
i think its a process we have to go through to prepare.
All went well with all of them and were just wonderful thank God
All the best
xx

#5 new~mum~reenie

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:26 PM

Thank you for posting this OP.

I had first baby at home and it was awesome. A really lovely, positive experience. Baby had a lovely entrance into this world, APGARS 9 & 10. DH loved being home in our space and being involved etc. Great experience all round.

But, for some reason, I feel just as nervous this time as last time!!

I think, as pp noted, irrespective of planned place of birth, it's still a bit scary! I have no reason to believe there will be any issues.... But, After all, your planning on pushing a melon out the lemon hole! biggrin.gif

For me, I remind myself that worrying can't do anything constructive, especially at this stage (29 wks tomorrow). And if anything changes, I or the  MWs will just deal with it when it happens. In other words, just surrender.

#6 meemee75

Posted 23 April 2012 - 08:54 AM

I was the same as New mum reenie.

I had my first at home with no issues, but the "what if's" do creep in when planning another birth.

QUOTE
Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.


My second birth at home went fine although I did find it a harder labour towards the end.
DS was only  400g bigger than DD but his head was 4.5cm bigger which I think made the difference.

I did lose the plot in transition second time around but that's ok too original.gif  it wouldn't have been any different in a hospital unless I had an epidural in and in the end i got there without waking the neighbours


#7 MegsW

Posted 26 April 2012 - 08:32 PM

Thanks everyone.  I think that you guys have hit it on the head, just nerves with each birth, not necessarily this one.  I need to start doing some you tube viewing and some reading I think to start getting into that headspace.  

I HATE the drive to hospital and feeling unsure as to when to head in so being at home was so lovely last time.

I also lose it through transition so I told my midwives last time to remind me why I was feeling like I was and there was only once I did the whole - I can't do it, I just want it to be over.  But even as I said it I reminded myself that it was transition and was just so happy it was almost over and I was going to meet Finn that I was able to refocus properly.

I am sure it will be the same.

I guess the other thing is I still have to get to know my midwife as my last one is now the manager of the homebirth program so doesn't see women now!   I am sure once I build my relationship with her I will feel better too!

Thanks again, good to just talk about it and know I am not alone in feeling nerves already LOL!





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.