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Feeling nervous about 2nd home birth

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#1 MegsW

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:32 AM

I had a wonderful homebirth with our DS#3 2 years ago and it was incredible.  I loved it, it felt right and I remember both DH and I saying almost immediately after the birth that if we ever have another child then it will be at home.

I am all approved for a homebirth through our local program (with the condition of an actively managed 3rs stage - but I can deal with that!) and have met my midwife who is lovely and have my DH and parents support (they were our childrens support people at the last birth).

But for some silly reason I am feeling nervous about it this time.  Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.

I dont' know why I am feeling like this and I know if I get too blocked up with the negative feelings that I can go to the birth centre and have my midwives support me there, but I really think I will regret it.

Has anyone else felt like this and how did they work through it?

Thank you

#2 papilio

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:41 AM

I have only had the one homebirth, but I took a lot of comfort from the fact that the first time I gave birth was quite a smooth process.  Although I'm not really into mantras, I kept thinking to myself that my body had done this before and knew how to do it. I found that really helpful.

I hope that is helpful!  I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes quickly and smoothly.

#3 deejie

Posted 17 April 2012 - 12:35 PM

I think it is normal to be apprehensive and nervous about giving birth, no matter where the location. I too was worried that birthing home that I would not be able to "handle" labour or that I would feel completely out of control. It is hard not to let the "what ifs" fly around your head sometimes.

At times like that, I would remind myself that sometimes we can over analyse labour. I read Ina May Gaskin and much of what she said about turning off the logical/analysis part of your brain and surrendering your body to the process of birth really made sense to me. Sometimes it is too easy to get caught up in negative feelings. Like PP, I'm not much in to mantras, but I would repeat to myself that my body had done this before and knew what to do. Trust your body. In labour, I made a quiet spot for myself in my head (this sounds batty doesn't it?) and just closed my eyes, focused on that spot and let my body do what it had to. I think Ina May referred to it as your primal self (or something like that). Maybe the more well known term is getting in the "zone", who knows?

Remember that you have a wonderful support group around you. You are getting to know and trust your midwife. You will be in an environment where you feel safe and comfortable. These are all very important things.

Hope this helps and that you have a very smooth pregnancy and birth original.gif

#4 blessedwithblueandpink

Posted 18 April 2012 - 11:37 PM

I have had 4 and went through the same fears and doubts with them all.
i think its a process we have to go through to prepare.
All went well with all of them and were just wonderful thank God
All the best

#5 new~mum~reenie

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:26 PM

Thank you for posting this OP.

I had first baby at home and it was awesome. A really lovely, positive experience. Baby had a lovely entrance into this world, APGARS 9 & 10. DH loved being home in our space and being involved etc. Great experience all round.

But, for some reason, I feel just as nervous this time as last time!!

I think, as pp noted, irrespective of planned place of birth, it's still a bit scary! I have no reason to believe there will be any issues.... But, After all, your planning on pushing a melon out the lemon hole! biggrin.gif

For me, I remind myself that worrying can't do anything constructive, especially at this stage (29 wks tomorrow). And if anything changes, I or the  MWs will just deal with it when it happens. In other words, just surrender.

#6 meemee75

Posted 23 April 2012 - 08:54 AM

I was the same as New mum reenie.

I had my first at home with no issues, but the "what if's" do creep in when planning another birth.

Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.

My second birth at home went fine although I did find it a harder labour towards the end.
DS was only  400g bigger than DD but his head was 4.5cm bigger which I think made the difference.

I did lose the plot in transition second time around but that's ok too original.gif  it wouldn't have been any different in a hospital unless I had an epidural in and in the end i got there without waking the neighbours

#7 MegsW

Posted 26 April 2012 - 08:32 PM

Thanks everyone.  I think that you guys have hit it on the head, just nerves with each birth, not necessarily this one.  I need to start doing some you tube viewing and some reading I think to start getting into that headspace.  

I HATE the drive to hospital and feeling unsure as to when to head in so being at home was so lovely last time.

I also lose it through transition so I told my midwives last time to remind me why I was feeling like I was and there was only once I did the whole - I can't do it, I just want it to be over.  But even as I said it I reminded myself that it was transition and was just so happy it was almost over and I was going to meet Finn that I was able to refocus properly.

I am sure it will be the same.

I guess the other thing is I still have to get to know my midwife as my last one is now the manager of the homebirth program so doesn't see women now!   I am sure once I build my relationship with her I will feel better too!

Thanks again, good to just talk about it and know I am not alone in feeling nerves already LOL!

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