Jump to content
Feeling nervous about 2nd home birth
6 replies to this topic
Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:32 AM
I had a wonderful homebirth with our DS#3 2 years ago and it was incredible. I loved it, it felt right and I remember both DH and I saying almost immediately after the birth that if we ever have another child then it will be at home.
I am all approved for a homebirth through our local program (with the condition of an actively managed 3rs stage - but I can deal with that!) and have met my midwife who is lovely and have my DH and parents support (they were our childrens support people at the last birth).
But for some silly reason I am feeling nervous about it this time. Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.
I dont' know why I am feeling like this and I know if I get too blocked up with the negative feelings that I can go to the birth centre and have my midwives support me there, but I really think I will regret it.
Has anyone else felt like this and how did they work through it?
Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:41 AM
I have only had the one homebirth, but I took a lot of comfort from the fact that the first time I gave birth was quite a smooth process. Although I'm not really into mantras, I kept thinking to myself that my body had done this before and knew how to do it. I found that really helpful.
I hope that is helpful! I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes quickly and smoothly.
Posted 17 April 2012 - 12:35 PM
I think it is normal to be apprehensive and nervous about giving birth, no matter where the location. I too was worried that birthing home that I would not be able to "handle" labour or that I would feel completely out of control. It is hard not to let the "what ifs" fly around your head sometimes.
At times like that, I would remind myself that sometimes we can over analyse labour. I read Ina May Gaskin and much of what she said about turning off the logical/analysis part of your brain and surrendering your body to the process of birth really made sense to me. Sometimes it is too easy to get caught up in negative feelings. Like PP, I'm not much in to mantras, but I would repeat to myself that my body had done this before and knew what to do. Trust your body. In labour, I made a quiet spot for myself in my head (this sounds batty doesn't it?) and just closed my eyes, focused on that spot and let my body do what it had to. I think Ina May referred to it as your primal self (or something like that). Maybe the more well known term is getting in the "zone", who knows?
Remember that you have a wonderful support group around you. You are getting to know and trust your midwife. You will be in an environment where you feel safe and comfortable. These are all very important things.
Hope this helps and that you have a very smooth pregnancy and birth
Posted 18 April 2012 - 11:37 PM
I have had 4 and went through the same fears and doubts with them all.
i think its a process we have to go through to prepare.
All went well with all of them and were just wonderful thank God
All the best
Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:26 PM
Thank you for posting this OP.
I had first baby at home and it was awesome. A really lovely, positive experience. Baby had a lovely entrance into this world, APGARS 9 & 10. DH loved being home in our space and being involved etc. Great experience all round.
But, for some reason, I feel just as nervous this time as last time!!
I think, as pp noted, irrespective of planned place of birth, it's still a bit scary! I have no reason to believe there will be any issues.... But, After all, your planning on pushing a melon out the lemon hole!
For me, I remind myself that worrying can't do anything constructive, especially at this stage (29 wks tomorrow). And if anything changes, I or the MWs will just deal with it when it happens. In other words, just surrender.
Posted 23 April 2012 - 08:54 AM
I was the same as New mum reenie.
I had my first at home with no issues, but the "what if's" do creep in when planning another birth.
Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.
My second birth at home went fine although I did find it a harder labour towards the end.
DS was only 400g bigger than DD but his head was 4.5cm bigger which I think made the difference.
I did lose the plot in transition second time around but that's ok too it wouldn't have been any different in a hospital unless I had an epidural in and in the end i got there without waking the neighbours
Posted 26 April 2012 - 08:32 PM
Thanks everyone. I think that you guys have hit it on the head, just nerves with each birth, not necessarily this one. I need to start doing some you tube viewing and some reading I think to start getting into that headspace.
I HATE the drive to hospital and feeling unsure as to when to head in so being at home was so lovely last time.
I also lose it through transition so I told my midwives last time to remind me why I was feeling like I was and there was only once I did the whole - I can't do it, I just want it to be over. But even as I said it I reminded myself that it was transition and was just so happy it was almost over and I was going to meet Finn that I was able to refocus properly.
I am sure it will be the same.
I guess the other thing is I still have to get to know my midwife as my last one is now the manager of the homebirth program so doesn't see women now! I am sure once I build my relationship with her I will feel better too!
Thanks again, good to just talk about it and know I am not alone in feeling nerves already LOL!
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Some phrases just pop out before you really think about them, but there are some things you should try to not say to a new mum.
The phone calls started a couple of weeks ago. At about 5.30 each evening - if I am lucky - I will be greeted by a sweet, excited voice declaring: "'Allo Annie".
You sometimes have to wonder whether relationship/sex advice from magazines is designed to help or humiliate.
People used to think that social skills were something kids were born with, not taught.
Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.
Scientists have calculated at exactly what age you need to start trying to get pregnant to have the best chance of realising your dream.
Differently abled child
Why are people so concerned for this happy child and his mother?
When it comes to two-year-olds and birthday cakes there are a few requests that are usually at the top of the list. But a cake featuring a local personal injury lawyer?
When we become mums, our instinct to protect our children and keep them safe from harm is so strong we're often likened to a Mama Bear protecting her cubs.
There are no guaranteed ways to avoid the dreaded winter illnesses completely, but there are ways we can boost our children's immunity.
Jade Beall usually chooses to breastfeed her son, now 3, in private. This week, however, she shared portraits of her breastfeeding her preschooler.
Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?
A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.
An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.
It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.
Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.
At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.
These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.
Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.
In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.
A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.
So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.
We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.
Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.
Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.
Top 5 Articles
I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.
I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.
French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.
A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.
Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?
First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.
The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.
A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life.
Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.
Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!
If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.
Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.
When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.
The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.
Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.
Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.
Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old
The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.
I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.
Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.
Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!