Jump to content

Feeling nervous about 2nd home birth


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 MegsW

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:32 AM

I had a wonderful homebirth with our DS#3 2 years ago and it was incredible.  I loved it, it felt right and I remember both DH and I saying almost immediately after the birth that if we ever have another child then it will be at home.

I am all approved for a homebirth through our local program (with the condition of an actively managed 3rs stage - but I can deal with that!) and have met my midwife who is lovely and have my DH and parents support (they were our childrens support people at the last birth).

But for some silly reason I am feeling nervous about it this time.  Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.

I dont' know why I am feeling like this and I know if I get too blocked up with the negative feelings that I can go to the birth centre and have my midwives support me there, but I really think I will regret it.

Has anyone else felt like this and how did they work through it?

Thank you
xxxx

#2 papilio

Posted 17 April 2012 - 01:41 AM

I have only had the one homebirth, but I took a lot of comfort from the fact that the first time I gave birth was quite a smooth process.  Although I'm not really into mantras, I kept thinking to myself that my body had done this before and knew how to do it. I found that really helpful.

I hope that is helpful!  I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes quickly and smoothly.

#3 deejie

Posted 17 April 2012 - 12:35 PM

I think it is normal to be apprehensive and nervous about giving birth, no matter where the location. I too was worried that birthing home that I would not be able to "handle" labour or that I would feel completely out of control. It is hard not to let the "what ifs" fly around your head sometimes.

At times like that, I would remind myself that sometimes we can over analyse labour. I read Ina May Gaskin and much of what she said about turning off the logical/analysis part of your brain and surrendering your body to the process of birth really made sense to me. Sometimes it is too easy to get caught up in negative feelings. Like PP, I'm not much in to mantras, but I would repeat to myself that my body had done this before and knew what to do. Trust your body. In labour, I made a quiet spot for myself in my head (this sounds batty doesn't it?) and just closed my eyes, focused on that spot and let my body do what it had to. I think Ina May referred to it as your primal self (or something like that). Maybe the more well known term is getting in the "zone", who knows?

Remember that you have a wonderful support group around you. You are getting to know and trust your midwife. You will be in an environment where you feel safe and comfortable. These are all very important things.

Hope this helps and that you have a very smooth pregnancy and birth original.gif

#4 blessedwithblueandpink

Posted 18 April 2012 - 11:37 PM

Hi
I have had 4 and went through the same fears and doubts with them all.
i think its a process we have to go through to prepare.
All went well with all of them and were just wonderful thank God
All the best
xx

#5 new~mum~reenie

Posted 20 April 2012 - 08:26 PM

Thank you for posting this OP.

I had first baby at home and it was awesome. A really lovely, positive experience. Baby had a lovely entrance into this world, APGARS 9 & 10. DH loved being home in our space and being involved etc. Great experience all round.

But, for some reason, I feel just as nervous this time as last time!!

I think, as pp noted, irrespective of planned place of birth, it's still a bit scary! I have no reason to believe there will be any issues.... But, After all, your planning on pushing a melon out the lemon hole! biggrin.gif

For me, I remind myself that worrying can't do anything constructive, especially at this stage (29 wks tomorrow). And if anything changes, I or the  MWs will just deal with it when it happens. In other words, just surrender.

#6 meemee75

Posted 23 April 2012 - 08:54 AM

I was the same as New mum reenie.

I had my first at home with no issues, but the "what if's" do creep in when planning another birth.

QUOTE
Not necessarily about something going wrong (well a bit of that but not much) but more about me not handling it and the baby being bigger and not being prepared mentally for it and losing control.


My second birth at home went fine although I did find it a harder labour towards the end.
DS was only  400g bigger than DD but his head was 4.5cm bigger which I think made the difference.

I did lose the plot in transition second time around but that's ok too original.gif  it wouldn't have been any different in a hospital unless I had an epidural in and in the end i got there without waking the neighbours


#7 MegsW

Posted 26 April 2012 - 08:32 PM

Thanks everyone.  I think that you guys have hit it on the head, just nerves with each birth, not necessarily this one.  I need to start doing some you tube viewing and some reading I think to start getting into that headspace.  

I HATE the drive to hospital and feeling unsure as to when to head in so being at home was so lovely last time.

I also lose it through transition so I told my midwives last time to remind me why I was feeling like I was and there was only once I did the whole - I can't do it, I just want it to be over.  But even as I said it I reminded myself that it was transition and was just so happy it was almost over and I was going to meet Finn that I was able to refocus properly.

I am sure it will be the same.

I guess the other thing is I still have to get to know my midwife as my last one is now the manager of the homebirth program so doesn't see women now!   I am sure once I build my relationship with her I will feel better too!

Thanks again, good to just talk about it and know I am not alone in feeling nerves already LOL!





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

Misery loves Facebook

Facebook users are often criticised for only showing the positive, fun parts of their lives. But what about when it swings the other way, when someone uses it for the purposes of ranting about their children all the time, never posting anything positive?

Toddler's adorable impersonation of pregnant mum

Little Ellis has noticed his mum is walking differently lately, and his impersonation of her is hilarious.

'Forgotten baby syndrome' can happen to any one of us

When my third child was two months old, I strapped her into her car seat, then promptly forgot all about her. But she survived, unharmed, because it was winter, and I was lucky.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Never take a good night's sleep for granted. There is no logic like toddler logic. Standing on Lego hurts every time. These are the truths of parenthood.

Parenting past the toddler years: what's next?

Your baby has grown into a toddler, and now your toddler is fast approaching the preschooler stage. What can you expect as a parent?

Tips on what to pack in your hospital bag

Before giving birth I read countless lists, ended up overpacking just a little, and now know what I'll actually want to pack next time.

New app keeps tabs on your kids at childcare

Popular new technology lets parents know what their children are up to at childcare - but not everyone is a fan.

21 things I love about newborns

There?s an irresistible magic about newborns. Of course they're not all smiles and rainbows, but they are undeniably cute and remarkable in so, so many ways.

Kid-friendly hairdressers: who says haircuts can?t be fun?

I?ve found some salons who boast setups ideal for children ? you name it, they?ve thought of it. All are designed to make haircuts fun rather than stressful.

Labour pain relief may reduce risk of postnatal depression: study

Postnatal depression is a complex condition, but researchers say pain relief during labour may help some women.

Why we need better support for men after miscarriage

In a recent study, 85 per cent of men admitted feeling sadness after their partner miscarried, but almost half said they didn't share their feelings at all. What can be done to help them?

Mum in business: Kristy Chong

Kristy Chong is the managing director of Australian-made Modibodi underwear and a mum to Lucas, 6, Jason, 4, and Isaac, 6 months. She shares her advice for other mums thinking about starting their own businesses.

From toddler to preschooler: a developmental roadmap

So your toddler is growing up and will soon be entering the preschooler years. Here are a few ways to frame their development that will help you understand what?s going in those beautiful, funny, clever little heads of theirs.

Mum sacrifices an eye for her unborn baby

Motherhood is full of sacrifices, but this woman has made a life-altering one - and her baby hasn't even been born.

A grandparent by any other name

A growing number of grandparents are shunning tradition and going against conventional names - but a grandparent by any other name still gives the same awesome cuddles and kisses.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

When labour just doesn't happen

After three healthy kids, I can?t help feeling I?ve been a little ripped off. I missed out on something I had always wanted to experience, and now I?ll never get the chance.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.