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Do you ever feel like no one really knows you?


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#1 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:49 PM

As above.

I have friends, and you talk about the usual stuff, and it's all good. Sometimes i blab bits and pieces on here, to get it off my chest, but that's the usual annoyances that everyone has. I have one friend that I talk about things more than any other, but some things i just never talk about with anyone, even if I still think about those things from time to time now. Not even my partner do I tell everything to. Sometimes I think, it would do me good to talk to get over things, but in the past when i have been close to talking about things, the defenses automatically go up and I push the people away.

So I feel like no one really knows me.

Does that make sense   biggrin.gif bit abstract for this time of night.

#2 MrsNorthman

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:52 PM

It made sense original.gif  Do you want someone to really know you? Der, I know...but would you consider some counseling to help you make that first step. Is it about trust for you?  Or do you think you would feel too vulnerable if someone really knew you?

#3 yodie86

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:55 PM

I understand what you are saying.

Until not too long ago I felt like that and to a point still do. I have a saying 'that you only show parts of yourself to certain people' and only you know the whole you.

My DH knows the most ( about 95% ) of me but there is that 5% ( that I label myself 'the crazy) that no one but me will ever really know about.

What ever happens I hope you feel at peace with yourself
bbighug.gif

#4 squeekums

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:01 PM

I get where your coming from, i'm the same. There about 2 or 3 people who know 90% about me. But there is still that 'wall' that i keep up Its my own doing though, my trust issues run deep.

Sorry i got no helpful advice but your not alone in how you feel

#5 caesie'n'linc

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:05 PM

That makes sense to me original.gif  I often feel exactly the same.  I have my sisters, but I can't tell them everything, I also have a fantastic SIL who I have known for many years now and I trust completly but I still can't bring myself to tell her some things either.

I have sort of worked out why I don't let myself get close enough to people to share everything...but it has become a bit of a bad cycle for me sad.gif  something bothers me, I start wishing I had close friends to talk to about it, then I realise WHY I have no close friends (there's actually 2 reasons and they both get me down for different reasons), then I get all upset about those and then I go back to wishing I had someone to talk to....and around it goes until I find myself either typing random stuff to post here (and then not posting it) or I end up in the shower crying when it's something really bothering me.

I really have no suggestions that might help you, I'm sorry.  But you are more than welcome to pm me if you ever need to talk to someone original.gif  I actually find it easier to 'talk' to strangers at the moment rather than talk face to face to people, even though I know they all care about me and would happily listen and support me...

#6 Expelliarmus

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:10 PM

Yep. I know what you mean.

#7 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:10 PM

I don't know! Do i really want people to know me? Do i even know myself? Good questions. Thanks for the replies.


Edited by holy_j, 13 April 2012 - 11:14 PM.


#8 luckycakes

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:14 PM

If you ever want to tell me more than you do, (I know I am a crazy wench and talk a lot, but my ears and mind are open and my mouth would stay shut about business not of my own), then you know where I am at. I would love to know you as much as you are prepared for me to know you xo

Edited by luckycakes, 13 April 2012 - 11:15 PM.


#9 RebelWithoutAClaws

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:20 PM

I felt that way until I met DF.

I mean my Mum does, but she doesn't count hehehe

#10 Riverchick20

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:22 PM

I know what you mean. Often I feel the same way only one friend knows about 90% of me . Takes me a long time to open up to other people. Wish it was easier sad.gif

Edited by Riverchick20, 13 April 2012 - 11:24 PM.


#11 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:25 PM

hehehe C, you know I love you. And thankyou. And you aren't that crazy  original.gif

#12 BadCat

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:28 PM

I'm not big on opening up to people either.  But I have made peace with that.

I guess either you accept that that's how you are or you seek help to change it.  In my case I found acceptance easier.

#13 caesie'n'linc

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:28 PM

QUOTE (PussyDids @ 14/04/2012, 12:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I mean my Mum does, but she doesn't count hehehe

I reckon my mum knows me the least these days LOL  I don't really tell people much at all....someone build me a time machine so I can go back and fix the things that caused my 'issue' LOL

#14 wca

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:29 PM

I have a great bunch of friends and close family but NONE of them really, truely, know me. DH knows the most, he knows all my issues etc but I feel like he doesn't even know the core of me. My friends probably have no idea how "deep" I can be. I never talk to them about it. I come across as a level headed, "got it together", happy chick. When in fact, it's normally the opposite. I'm just a great actress.

Anni xx

#15 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:50 PM

Only DH really knows me warts and all.

#16 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:54 PM

I get what you are saying.  I have a very close friend that I have known since highschool, we can talk about anything and everything yet there is still a small % that I keep to myself and I suspect that she is the same.  Same goes for DH.

I think as long as you know who you are yourself and you are happy with that, then that is all that matters  original.gif

#17 LittleRB

Posted 14 April 2012 - 12:13 AM

Yes but upon further reflection, it's my own fault. I have serious trust issues stemming from I'm not exactly sure where, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone knowing exactly who I was. Might explain why I don't have any really close friends, especially females.

My sister probably knows me the best as in who I am, about my relationship with DH, my hopes and dreams but there is still quite a bit she doesn't know.

DH knows all my crazy e.t.c. but I still wouldn't say he knows me 100%. Probably on par with my sister but knows different things about me (so no one actually has a full picture).

I think a few people have come close and I've cut them off for some reason or the other.

Oh well. It doesn't bother me.

Edited by LittleRB, 14 April 2012 - 12:14 AM.


#18 CleverChook

Posted 14 April 2012 - 01:48 PM

Does it matter?  I'm not much of a sharer.  
I have a lot of friends, but I'm not really one to get really close, or live in each others pockets.  The older I get, the less I need that kind of validation of my feelings, or whatever it is you get for sharing every little thought and feeling.

#19 blackcat20

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:11 PM

I get where youre coming from. I have two friends that I share a fair bit with, but no one that knows everything about me. Even my mum (who I tell pretty much everything to) doesnt know everything. At the moment there are things Id love to talk about with someone, but there isnt anyone!

#20 gemmaw

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:16 PM

Sometimes I feel like this too so I get where you are coming from. My DH and Mum know most things but of course there are some things I would just rather keep to myself. I don't think it's necessary to share everything, as long as you have a handle on what it is you aren't sharing.

Edited by gemmaw, 14 April 2012 - 02:16 PM.


#21 baby*girl

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:20 PM

Yep !

#22 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:23 PM

I think it does matter, if it's something that would do you good to talk about it, but you don't let yourself. Maybe it's some conscious, or sub conscious fear of being judged or feeling not good enough.


#23 bright*future

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:32 PM

Yep I know what you mean.

We have been hiding going through IVF and it has been really hard for me because previously I was so open and deliberately "authentic".  It took me months maybe even a year or so to accept that I could have relationships without having to bear everything.  But, I came to that point through counselling.

I heard something on the radio the other day about "emotional safety" and that being the reason why some people find it hard to really connect, kinda similar to what you are just saying holy_j.

#24 Gossipgirl

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:34 PM

My husband knows everything about me everything nothing is hidden from him and my best friend also knows everything we talk about everything and anything.

I do have a close friend that I talk to but she does not know me fully I hide alot from her I don't know why

#25 brangisnotaword

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:36 PM

I'm sure everyone has some thoughts they keep to themselves, for all sorts of reasons.  I don't see why this is a bad thing or why it requires any sort of counselling.




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