Jump to content

Do you ever feel like no one really knows you?

  • Please log in to reply
23 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:49 PM

As above.

I have friends, and you talk about the usual stuff, and it's all good. Sometimes i blab bits and pieces on here, to get it off my chest, but that's the usual annoyances that everyone has. I have one friend that I talk about things more than any other, but some things i just never talk about with anyone, even if I still think about those things from time to time now. Not even my partner do I tell everything to. Sometimes I think, it would do me good to talk to get over things, but in the past when i have been close to talking about things, the defenses automatically go up and I push the people away.

So I feel like no one really knows me.

Does that make sense   biggrin.gif bit abstract for this time of night.

#2 MrsNorthman

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:52 PM

It made sense original.gif  Do you want someone to really know you? Der, I know...but would you consider some counseling to help you make that first step. Is it about trust for you?  Or do you think you would feel too vulnerable if someone really knew you?

#3 yodie86

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:55 PM

I understand what you are saying.

Until not too long ago I felt like that and to a point still do. I have a saying 'that you only show parts of yourself to certain people' and only you know the whole you.

My DH knows the most ( about 95% ) of me but there is that 5% ( that I label myself 'the crazy) that no one but me will ever really know about.

What ever happens I hope you feel at peace with yourself

#4 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:01 PM

I get where your coming from, i'm the same. There about 2 or 3 people who know 90% about me. But there is still that 'wall' that i keep up Its my own doing though, my trust issues run deep.

Sorry i got no helpful advice but your not alone in how you feel

#5 caesie'n'linc

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:05 PM

That makes sense to me original.gif  I often feel exactly the same.  I have my sisters, but I can't tell them everything, I also have a fantastic SIL who I have known for many years now and I trust completly but I still can't bring myself to tell her some things either.

I have sort of worked out why I don't let myself get close enough to people to share everything...but it has become a bit of a bad cycle for me sad.gif  something bothers me, I start wishing I had close friends to talk to about it, then I realise WHY I have no close friends (there's actually 2 reasons and they both get me down for different reasons), then I get all upset about those and then I go back to wishing I had someone to talk to....and around it goes until I find myself either typing random stuff to post here (and then not posting it) or I end up in the shower crying when it's something really bothering me.

I really have no suggestions that might help you, I'm sorry.  But you are more than welcome to pm me if you ever need to talk to someone original.gif  I actually find it easier to 'talk' to strangers at the moment rather than talk face to face to people, even though I know they all care about me and would happily listen and support me...

#6 Expelliarmus

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:10 PM

Yep. I know what you mean.

#7 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:10 PM

I don't know! Do i really want people to know me? Do i even know myself? Good questions. Thanks for the replies.

Edited by holy_j, 13 April 2012 - 11:14 PM.

#8 luckycakes

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:14 PM

If you ever want to tell me more than you do, (I know I am a crazy wench and talk a lot, but my ears and mind are open and my mouth would stay shut about business not of my own), then you know where I am at. I would love to know you as much as you are prepared for me to know you xo

Edited by luckycakes, 13 April 2012 - 11:15 PM.

#9 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:20 PM

I felt that way until I met DF.

I mean my Mum does, but she doesn't count hehehe

#10 Riverchick20

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:22 PM

I know what you mean. Often I feel the same way only one friend knows about 90% of me . Takes me a long time to open up to other people. Wish it was easier sad.gif

Edited by Riverchick20, 13 April 2012 - 11:24 PM.

#11 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:25 PM

hehehe C, you know I love you. And thankyou. And you aren't that crazy  original.gif

#12 BadCat

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:28 PM

I'm not big on opening up to people either.  But I have made peace with that.

I guess either you accept that that's how you are or you seek help to change it.  In my case I found acceptance easier.

#13 caesie'n'linc

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:28 PM

QUOTE (PussyDids @ 14/04/2012, 12:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I mean my Mum does, but she doesn't count hehehe

I reckon my mum knows me the least these days LOL  I don't really tell people much at all....someone build me a time machine so I can go back and fix the things that caused my 'issue' LOL

#14 wca

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:29 PM

I have a great bunch of friends and close family but NONE of them really, truely, know me. DH knows the most, he knows all my issues etc but I feel like he doesn't even know the core of me. My friends probably have no idea how "deep" I can be. I never talk to them about it. I come across as a level headed, "got it together", happy chick. When in fact, it's normally the opposite. I'm just a great actress.

Anni xx

#15 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:50 PM

Only DH really knows me warts and all.

#16 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:54 PM

I get what you are saying.  I have a very close friend that I have known since highschool, we can talk about anything and everything yet there is still a small % that I keep to myself and I suspect that she is the same.  Same goes for DH.

I think as long as you know who you are yourself and you are happy with that, then that is all that matters  original.gif

#17 LittleRB

Posted 14 April 2012 - 12:13 AM

Yes but upon further reflection, it's my own fault. I have serious trust issues stemming from I'm not exactly sure where, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone knowing exactly who I was. Might explain why I don't have any really close friends, especially females.

My sister probably knows me the best as in who I am, about my relationship with DH, my hopes and dreams but there is still quite a bit she doesn't know.

DH knows all my crazy e.t.c. but I still wouldn't say he knows me 100%. Probably on par with my sister but knows different things about me (so no one actually has a full picture).

I think a few people have come close and I've cut them off for some reason or the other.

Oh well. It doesn't bother me.

Edited by LittleRB, 14 April 2012 - 12:14 AM.

#18 SisterMaryElephant

Posted 14 April 2012 - 01:48 PM

Does it matter?  I'm not much of a sharer.  
I have a lot of friends, but I'm not really one to get really close, or live in each others pockets.  The older I get, the less I need that kind of validation of my feelings, or whatever it is you get for sharing every little thought and feeling.

#19 blackcat20

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:11 PM

I get where youre coming from. I have two friends that I share a fair bit with, but no one that knows everything about me. Even my mum (who I tell pretty much everything to) doesnt know everything. At the moment there are things Id love to talk about with someone, but there isnt anyone!

#20 gemmaw

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:16 PM

Sometimes I feel like this too so I get where you are coming from. My DH and Mum know most things but of course there are some things I would just rather keep to myself. I don't think it's necessary to share everything, as long as you have a handle on what it is you aren't sharing.

Edited by gemmaw, 14 April 2012 - 02:16 PM.

#21 baby*girl

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:20 PM

Yep !

#22 Guest_holy_j_*

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:23 PM

I think it does matter, if it's something that would do you good to talk about it, but you don't let yourself. Maybe it's some conscious, or sub conscious fear of being judged or feeling not good enough.

#23 bright*future

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:32 PM

Yep I know what you mean.

We have been hiding going through IVF and it has been really hard for me because previously I was so open and deliberately "authentic".  It took me months maybe even a year or so to accept that I could have relationships without having to bear everything.  But, I came to that point through counselling.

I heard something on the radio the other day about "emotional safety" and that being the reason why some people find it hard to really connect, kinda similar to what you are just saying holy_j.

#24 Gossipgirl

Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:34 PM

My husband knows everything about me everything nothing is hidden from him and my best friend also knows everything we talk about everything and anything.

I do have a close friend that I talk to but she does not know me fully I hide alot from her I don't know why

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Newborn baby found in a nativity scene

Police are trying to trace a woman who abandoned a baby boy in the manger of a church nativity scene.

Life would be harder without my kids

The Humans of New York Facebook page is well known for sharing touching, real stories from one of the world's biggest cities – and it's just hit the heart of parents everywhere.

Mum dresses as Wonder Woman for last day of chemo

A Brisbane mum dressed up as a superhero to celebrate the end of her chemotherapy and created a moment her family will remember forever.

How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Former Hi-5 member's cannabis hope

Former Hi-5 star Tim Harding hopes a cannabis-derived drug will help control his daughter's epilepsy, which sees the four-year-old suffering between 50 and 100 seizures a day.

The top 5 reasons your toddler throws a tantrum

Whilst to the outside world little people may appear to have it easy, it's actually not always the case – just ask any toddler who's had their toast cut up the wrong way.

Glenn McGrath thought he'd lost his wife and baby

Australian cricket ledged Glen McGrath has spoken about the moment he thought he might lose his wife, Sara and their baby daughter, Madison.


Inside my Centrelink nightmare

Mother Bec Smith has been trying for months to access Centrelink payments. A "serious error" is preventing her.

Warnings over push for hourly childcare billing

Australia's peak childcare body has called for caution around the Turnbull government's push for childcare centres to charge parents by the hour, not by the day.

Cate Blanchett thought about adopting for years

Cate Blanchett says her recent adoption of a baby girl had nothing to do with wanting a daughter after having three sons.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.


What's hot on EB

How I survived breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Grieving father's letter to Bataclan terrorists: "...this little boy will threaten you by being happy and free"

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

5 challenges of motherhood - and how to see them differently

Despite the smiles, the sloppy kisses and the pure magic children bring to our lives, it's hard to deny that motherhood can be tough.

4 challenges of being a new dad - and how to face them

Becoming a parent is challenging – and that applies to both mums and dads.

My battle against antenatal and postnatal depression

I was five months pregnant when I realised I needed help.

Children swapped at birth will not be returned to biological parents

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

A quarter of men believe they get 'man periods'

A British study has revealed one in four men believe they have a monthly cycle.

Baby deposit

How much do you need to save for a 'baby deposit'?

It's fairly straightforward to calculate a house deposit, but how much money do you need to save up for a baby?

Dad's beautiful note to his wife, a nurse

To anyone else it might just look like a picture of a mum having a nap with her toddler.

'I was a complete schmuck': Mike Baird opens up about his wife's postnatal depression

When his wife Kerryn was not well following the birth of their daughter, NSW Premier Mike Baird buried himself in his work.

Mum's desperate plea as whooping cough alert issued

A desperate mother has shared a heart-breaking video of her baby struggling to cope with a coughing fit caused by pertussis.

Coffee could help you live longer

New US research found people who report drinking three to five cups of coffee a day are less likely to die prematurely from heart disease, suicide, diabetes or Parkinson's disease.

The joy and dread of playdates

To live vicariously through your child is to rediscover anxieties you thought dead and buried.

Sick baby could die without scarce special formula, mum says

Lizzie Cann is down to her last three tins of a special formula in short supply.

Adorable toddler's strop foiled by squeaky shoes

We're probably all familiar with the pouty bottom lip and tightly crossed arms of a tot mid-strop.

More sex during World Cup created more baby boys

More sex during South Africa's World Cup meant a disproportionately high number of boys were born nine months later, a new study has found.

Win one of two ABC Shop prize packs in time for Christmas

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Do fitness challenges really work?

Fitness challenges aren't new. There's Michelle Bridges 12WBT and a bunch of other programs if you really want to lose weight.

What are pregnant women Googling?

Pregnancy is a huge change for any woman, so it's natural we'll have questions - and turn to Google to ask them.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.