Jump to content

When was the last time you spoke to your MIL
What do you think of this?

  • Please log in to reply
125 replies to this topic

#1 erica2012

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:43 PM

I realised the other day I haven't spoken with my MIL since christmas 2010.  My friend thinks this is slack.  My DH, her son, speaks to her every four or five months and keeps her up-to-date with the news.

I sent her an easter card a month ago with photos of her grandson.

I don't know where the time goes - I am so busy with my son, my part-time work and taking care of DH.
We live in different states and often it's difficult to judge the best time to call

Or, am I pretty slack?
My friend thinks so.

I am due to have another baby in July and might phone her then.

Edited by erica2012, 13 April 2012 - 05:43 PM.

#2 ~Catherine~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:47 PM

Yesterday on the phone ..... personally I think it is pretty slack ...it's  not that hard for YOU to call her and tell her how her grandchild is going or just call and say hello. Call if it is a bad time, I am sure she will tell you.

#3 Isolabella

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:48 PM

My folks live interstate and if I haven't phoned them for 3 days they start to panic. Some days I talk multiple times a day with them (good having a phone plan which allows this).

MIL lives in the same town. If it wasn't for the fact that I drop DS2 off to her place one day a week (for some one on one Nanna time) I would not speak to her otherwise (although DH talks to her daily).

My brother lives in EU. I will admit that I will only speak to him a few times a year (usually birthdays).

Whatever works for your relationship.

#4 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:48 PM

This morning.  I had to let her know the insurance company would be ringing her as her husband (father of my late DP) was named as a beneficiary on DP's life insurance policy and they want to know his claim intentions.  Let's see if they make a claim, then I can say whether I'll be talking to them again or not (just joking!).

#5 follies

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:49 PM

I never met her to begin with! The Step-MIL is a grouchy cow so we stay away and wish nasty things upon her.

#6 DarkestNight

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:51 PM

I guess it depends on your relationship with her. If you have no problems, then maybe you should call her more often, or jump on when DH calls.

I usually don't go out of my way to talk to the IL's. They are local so I see them at least every couple of weeks with DH.

#7 butterflydreaming

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:53 PM

That is slack. Do talks to my mother a few times a week while I talk to her daily. As for his parents we see them a few times a week and talk daily.

#8 ~Flick~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:54 PM

On the phone? Probably 3-4 times a week, and that's just for a chat -- not because we have to. And my PIL only live 8 minutes away! Then I would see them probably once a week on average.

Christmas 2010 - yes that's slack. But has she made any attempt to contact you? Maybe she senses you don't want to talk to her? shrug.gif

Edited by ~Flick~, 13 April 2012 - 05:54 PM.

#9 HRH Countrymel

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:54 PM

My DP and I have been together for 12 years and I have NEVER called her in all that time!

I do speak to her - when I answer the phone and she's called but we aren't phone you up buddies (obviously!)

I think your DH only calling her a couple of times a year is pretty slack TBH..

#10 threelittlegems

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:59 PM

I phone my MIL for a chat (or vice versa) at least once per week. I last spoke to her on Wednesday afternoon.

We did have an awful argument and didn't speak to each other for the whole of 2009. It was horrible.

#11 Nicole-Bris

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:00 PM

Has she called since Christmas 2010? If not, well then I don't see why you are the only slack one.  I can't remember the last time I called my inlaws.  They also live interstate and DH is the blacksheep of the family and doesn't really get along with his parents.  I think they may phone eachother maybe once or twice a year but we went and visited in January this year.

#12 au*lit

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:00 PM

The last time I spoke to her was when I saw her on the weekend. I don't think I have ever called her, or maybe once. DH calls her and FIL and they call to speak to him. They always send their love but don't generally speak to me on the phone. Same goes for my family (I call/receive calls from my family, DH doesn't). Works for us.

I'm not terribly close to MIL. I don't have a problem with her, we're just not kindred spirits. Plus, she could talk underwater with a loaf of bread in her mouth, generally about the most mind-numbingly boring and inane minutiae of other people's lives, so I'm pretty happy to maintain the status quo.

#13 Isolabella

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:03 PM

I'm not terribly close to MIL. I don't have a problem with her, we're just not kindred spirits.

This is my MIL and I. We don't choose to 'chat' to eachother. Any of our weekly exchanges are very brief and only relate to the kids or DH. On the other hand she came overseas with us in Dec for 2wks. Not the best time of my life, but I realised the importance of that for DH and the kids.

The only times I usually 'sit' down with MIL to chat are Easter or Christmas if we happen to be in town (as often overseas or interstate seeing my family).

ETA: In terms of conversation I have probably had more conversation with my brother's MIL (who is German and lives overseas) in the past 10yrs on the few times I have seen her compared to my MIL.

Edited by lsolaBella, 13 April 2012 - 06:05 PM.

#14 be_a_butterfly

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:03 PM

2003 LOL.

She is a weird woman and we don't have contact with her anymore.

#15 Bel Rowley

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:05 PM

About 2 hours ago, she and FIL babysat the kids all day while I was doing something for uni assignment. I see and/or speak to my PIL at least once a week, probably more than I speak to my own parents. I certainly speak to DH's parents more than he does.

#16 ~LTM~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:06 PM

Not since Christmas 2011.  They live interstate and mostly talk to my DH.  We don't have a home phone, so they just call his mobile.  

I don't dislike or have any problems with her, I just don't have a need to speak with her.

#17 *lalah*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:07 PM

I don't think you're slack. I see my MIL a lot, but it's DPs job to stay in touch with her, not really mine. You could always send her emails/pictures etc... but don't feel bad just because you don't have the same relationship with her that others have with their MILs.

#18 Cappie

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:07 PM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 13/04/2012, 05:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think your DH only calling her a couple of times a year is pretty slack TBH..

I second this - DH speaks to his Mother a little less than I speak to her, but at least one check in phone call a week. I guess it depends on the family though?

I last spoke to MIL this morning, and we text many times during the day. But then we are very close and even more so since I have provided her with her first grandbaby i.e. she has a big excuse to call me a lot, to remind me to send another picture message etc.

In summary, in my situation, yes it would be incredibly slack, but that isn't a blanket statement for you, you may not have that sort of relationship with your MIL.

#19 frenchalex

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:08 PM

Ha!!  I can understand au*lit!!  Funny how everyone else's lives are interesting but I never get asked about my own!

I don't understand why people think it's slack that Erica 2012 hasn't called her MIL.  Why is it her responsibility? It's different if you have a close relationship or she looks after the kids etc but otherwise I don't understand why it has anything to do with her to maintain a relationship with the in laws.  I am sick of husbands/partners expecting the women/mothers to manage all aspects of family life - including the relationships with their own parents.  I must say my own husband is not bad at keeping in touch with his family but it is certainly at a different pace to the relationship I have with my own parents.

#20 Fr0g

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:09 PM

Yesterday. I can go for 2 weeks without speaking due to both of us bring busy, but it's not usual.

She's been a big part of my life since 1993 and I speak to her more than my own mum, who lives interstate.

#21 SeaPrincess

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:10 PM

Spoke a couple of days ago. Picked her up from the airport at lunchtime today (along with grandMIL) for a 3-wk stay.  We live about 2,000km away.


#22 PatG

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:11 PM

I last spoke to my MIL in August 2010.  My husband only talks to my mother if he happens to answer the phone.  Same for fathers, although I spoke to my FIL more recently - last December maybe?  We all get along just fine.

#23 CourtesanNewton

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:11 PM

I don't call her up, but quite often when DH calls her on the Skype phone I will also be in the room and say hello and do a quick catch-up. Not sure how often DH talks to her, they text quite a bit and I know they definitely chat at least once a week after his bowling league. We only see her once a year or so as she lives 2600kms away.
I do think your DH is slack.

#24 Feral timtam

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:12 PM

About five minutes ago.
We live in the same house so we talk daily, I reckon 30 seconds to say hello as we pass each other in the hall beats having to make small talk for an uncomfortable 30 minutes once a week.
Then again, sharing the house means we know what we have in common so when we are stuck without the buffer of our menfolk for half an hour we can actually talk companionably.

#25 KnightsofNi

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:12 PM


We normally speak a couple of times a week and would rarely go more than 2 weeks without speaking.

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Kourtney Kardashian goes nude for art

We've all done some pretty radical things after a big break-up, but Kourtney Kardashian has gone one better.

Video shows babies 'singing' to music in the womb

A new study has shown that babies may actually be able to hear from as early as 16 weeks – 10 weeks earlier than was commonly thought.

Prevent pelvic pain with pre-pregnancy exercise: study

Women who want to stave off aches and pains in pregnancy should exercise regularly before they conceive, experts say.

Dad's hilarious blog about life with twins

A stand-up comedian in the UK has plenty of new material since becoming a dad to twin boys.

Dinosaur products for babies and toddlers

Dinosaurs are one of those classic childhood crazes. We've put together a host of products for dinosaur-mad parents, babies and toddlers.

Restaurant manager sticks up for noisy baby

A mum was left upset by a note from neighbouring diners saying her screaming baby had ruined their dinner.

His name is Cayden: Mum and social media hit back after racist Facebook attack

When a man posted a selfie with a co-worker's son to Facebook, it became a magnet for racist comments.

The Chinese tradition for new mums that can now cost $37,000 a month

Opulent rest time is becoming the gold standard in postpartum recovery, inspired by a Chinese confinement custom known as "sitting the month".

How the media can shape our decisions when it comes to labour

We all like to think that we make our choices in fair, reasoned and well-thought out ways. Not many of us would admit that we allowed the media to influence us in our life choices.

Mum told to express in pet relief area at airport

A woman who flew from Boston to Washington says staff with United Airlines at Washington's Dulles Airport suggested she pump her breast milk in the pet-relief area.

Heartbreak as mum dies and her baby chokes to death

An Australian woman living in the US collapsed and died while feeding her baby, who then choked to death on his food. 

The hidden mental health illness of anxiety

Anxiety took over Robyn Read's life to such an extent she could not even buy the groceries and felt suicidal.

Two children fall from second storey window

Two young boys have been rushed to hospital after falling out a second-storey window of a home in Eastwood.

Mum gives birth to India's heaviest baby

An Indian woman has given birth to a baby boy weighing a whopping 5.97kg, setting a new record for the country's heaviest baby.

Grandma surprised with brand new granddaughter

Finding out you’re going to be a grandmother can be a very emotional moment. Finding out that you’re a grandmother and the baby is already here is just out of this world.

Saltwater Sandals for babies and toddlers

Many mamas are wearing Saltwater Sandals - why not buy them for your babies and toddlers too?

How to spring clean your body and mind

Whether you're pregnant, already a mum, or are just trying to be a bit more healthy, there are ways to use the rejuvenating season to give yourself a boost.


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.