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When was the last time you spoke to your MIL
What do you think of this?

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125 replies to this topic

#1 erica2012

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:43 PM

I realised the other day I haven't spoken with my MIL since christmas 2010.  My friend thinks this is slack.  My DH, her son, speaks to her every four or five months and keeps her up-to-date with the news.

I sent her an easter card a month ago with photos of her grandson.

I don't know where the time goes - I am so busy with my son, my part-time work and taking care of DH.
We live in different states and often it's difficult to judge the best time to call

Or, am I pretty slack?
My friend thinks so.

I am due to have another baby in July and might phone her then.

Edited by erica2012, 13 April 2012 - 05:43 PM.

#2 ~Catherine~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:47 PM

Yesterday on the phone ..... personally I think it is pretty slack ...it's  not that hard for YOU to call her and tell her how her grandchild is going or just call and say hello. Call if it is a bad time, I am sure she will tell you.

#3 VeritasVinum

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:48 PM

My folks live interstate and if I haven't phoned them for 3 days they start to panic. Some days I talk multiple times a day with them (good having a phone plan which allows this).

MIL lives in the same town. If it wasn't for the fact that I drop DS2 off to her place one day a week (for some one on one Nanna time) I would not speak to her otherwise (although DH talks to her daily).

My brother lives in EU. I will admit that I will only speak to him a few times a year (usually birthdays).

Whatever works for your relationship.

#4 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:48 PM

This morning.  I had to let her know the insurance company would be ringing her as her husband (father of my late DP) was named as a beneficiary on DP's life insurance policy and they want to know his claim intentions.  Let's see if they make a claim, then I can say whether I'll be talking to them again or not (just joking!).

#5 follies

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:49 PM

I never met her to begin with! The Step-MIL is a grouchy cow so we stay away and wish nasty things upon her.

#6 DarkestNight

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:51 PM

I guess it depends on your relationship with her. If you have no problems, then maybe you should call her more often, or jump on when DH calls.

I usually don't go out of my way to talk to the IL's. They are local so I see them at least every couple of weeks with DH.

#7 butterflydreaming

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:53 PM

That is slack. Do talks to my mother a few times a week while I talk to her daily. As for his parents we see them a few times a week and talk daily.

#8 ~Flick~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:54 PM

On the phone? Probably 3-4 times a week, and that's just for a chat -- not because we have to. And my PIL only live 8 minutes away! Then I would see them probably once a week on average.

Christmas 2010 - yes that's slack. But has she made any attempt to contact you? Maybe she senses you don't want to talk to her? shrug.gif

Edited by ~Flick~, 13 April 2012 - 05:54 PM.

#9 HRH Countrymel

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:54 PM

My DP and I have been together for 12 years and I have NEVER called her in all that time!

I do speak to her - when I answer the phone and she's called but we aren't phone you up buddies (obviously!)

I think your DH only calling her a couple of times a year is pretty slack TBH..

#10 threelittlegems

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:59 PM

I phone my MIL for a chat (or vice versa) at least once per week. I last spoke to her on Wednesday afternoon.

We did have an awful argument and didn't speak to each other for the whole of 2009. It was horrible.

#11 Nicole-Bris

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:00 PM

Has she called since Christmas 2010? If not, well then I don't see why you are the only slack one.  I can't remember the last time I called my inlaws.  They also live interstate and DH is the blacksheep of the family and doesn't really get along with his parents.  I think they may phone eachother maybe once or twice a year but we went and visited in January this year.

#12 au*lit

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:00 PM

The last time I spoke to her was when I saw her on the weekend. I don't think I have ever called her, or maybe once. DH calls her and FIL and they call to speak to him. They always send their love but don't generally speak to me on the phone. Same goes for my family (I call/receive calls from my family, DH doesn't). Works for us.

I'm not terribly close to MIL. I don't have a problem with her, we're just not kindred spirits. Plus, she could talk underwater with a loaf of bread in her mouth, generally about the most mind-numbingly boring and inane minutiae of other people's lives, so I'm pretty happy to maintain the status quo.

#13 VeritasVinum

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:03 PM

I'm not terribly close to MIL. I don't have a problem with her, we're just not kindred spirits.

This is my MIL and I. We don't choose to 'chat' to eachother. Any of our weekly exchanges are very brief and only relate to the kids or DH. On the other hand she came overseas with us in Dec for 2wks. Not the best time of my life, but I realised the importance of that for DH and the kids.

The only times I usually 'sit' down with MIL to chat are Easter or Christmas if we happen to be in town (as often overseas or interstate seeing my family).

ETA: In terms of conversation I have probably had more conversation with my brother's MIL (who is German and lives overseas) in the past 10yrs on the few times I have seen her compared to my MIL.

Edited by lsolaBella, 13 April 2012 - 06:05 PM.

#14 be_a_butterfly

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:03 PM

2003 LOL.

She is a weird woman and we don't have contact with her anymore.

#15 Bel Rowley

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:05 PM

About 2 hours ago, she and FIL babysat the kids all day while I was doing something for uni assignment. I see and/or speak to my PIL at least once a week, probably more than I speak to my own parents. I certainly speak to DH's parents more than he does.

#16 ~LTM~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:06 PM

Not since Christmas 2011.  They live interstate and mostly talk to my DH.  We don't have a home phone, so they just call his mobile.  

I don't dislike or have any problems with her, I just don't have a need to speak with her.

#17 *lalah*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:07 PM

I don't think you're slack. I see my MIL a lot, but it's DPs job to stay in touch with her, not really mine. You could always send her emails/pictures etc... but don't feel bad just because you don't have the same relationship with her that others have with their MILs.

#18 HolyDaffodil

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:07 PM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 13/04/2012, 05:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think your DH only calling her a couple of times a year is pretty slack TBH..

I second this - DH speaks to his Mother a little less than I speak to her, but at least one check in phone call a week. I guess it depends on the family though?

I last spoke to MIL this morning, and we text many times during the day. But then we are very close and even more so since I have provided her with her first grandbaby i.e. she has a big excuse to call me a lot, to remind me to send another picture message etc.

In summary, in my situation, yes it would be incredibly slack, but that isn't a blanket statement for you, you may not have that sort of relationship with your MIL.

#19 frenchalex

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:08 PM

Ha!!  I can understand au*lit!!  Funny how everyone else's lives are interesting but I never get asked about my own!

I don't understand why people think it's slack that Erica 2012 hasn't called her MIL.  Why is it her responsibility? It's different if you have a close relationship or she looks after the kids etc but otherwise I don't understand why it has anything to do with her to maintain a relationship with the in laws.  I am sick of husbands/partners expecting the women/mothers to manage all aspects of family life - including the relationships with their own parents.  I must say my own husband is not bad at keeping in touch with his family but it is certainly at a different pace to the relationship I have with my own parents.

#20 Fr0g

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:09 PM

Yesterday. I can go for 2 weeks without speaking due to both of us bring busy, but it's not usual.

She's been a big part of my life since 1993 and I speak to her more than my own mum, who lives interstate.

#21 SeaPrincess

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:10 PM

Spoke a couple of days ago. Picked her up from the airport at lunchtime today (along with grandMIL) for a 3-wk stay.  We live about 2,000km away.


#22 PatG

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:11 PM

I last spoke to my MIL in August 2010.  My husband only talks to my mother if he happens to answer the phone.  Same for fathers, although I spoke to my FIL more recently - last December maybe?  We all get along just fine.

#23 HandsOnNewton

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:11 PM

I don't call her up, but quite often when DH calls her on the Skype phone I will also be in the room and say hello and do a quick catch-up. Not sure how often DH talks to her, they text quite a bit and I know they definitely chat at least once a week after his bowling league. We only see her once a year or so as she lives 2600kms away.
I do think your DH is slack.

#24 Feral timtam

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:12 PM

About five minutes ago.
We live in the same house so we talk daily, I reckon 30 seconds to say hello as we pass each other in the hall beats having to make small talk for an uncomfortable 30 minutes once a week.
Then again, sharing the house means we know what we have in common so when we are stuck without the buffer of our menfolk for half an hour we can actually talk companionably.

#25 KnightsofNi

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:12 PM


We normally speak a couple of times a week and would rarely go more than 2 weeks without speaking.

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