Jump to content

When was the last time you spoke to your MIL
What do you think of this?


  • Please log in to reply
126 replies to this topic

#1 erica2012

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:43 PM

I realised the other day I haven't spoken with my MIL since christmas 2010.  My friend thinks this is slack.  My DH, her son, speaks to her every four or five months and keeps her up-to-date with the news.

I sent her an easter card a month ago with photos of her grandson.

I don't know where the time goes - I am so busy with my son, my part-time work and taking care of DH.
We live in different states and often it's difficult to judge the best time to call

Or, am I pretty slack?
My friend thinks so.



I am due to have another baby in July and might phone her then.

Edited by erica2012, 13 April 2012 - 05:43 PM.


#2 ~Catherine~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:47 PM

Yesterday on the phone ..... personally I think it is pretty slack ...it's  not that hard for YOU to call her and tell her how her grandchild is going or just call and say hello. Call if it is a bad time, I am sure she will tell you.

#3 IsolaBella

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:48 PM

My folks live interstate and if I haven't phoned them for 3 days they start to panic. Some days I talk multiple times a day with them (good having a phone plan which allows this).

MIL lives in the same town. If it wasn't for the fact that I drop DS2 off to her place one day a week (for some one on one Nanna time) I would not speak to her otherwise (although DH talks to her daily).

My brother lives in EU. I will admit that I will only speak to him a few times a year (usually birthdays).

Whatever works for your relationship.



#4 Guest_tigerdog_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:48 PM

This morning.  I had to let her know the insurance company would be ringing her as her husband (father of my late DP) was named as a beneficiary on DP's life insurance policy and they want to know his claim intentions.  Let's see if they make a claim, then I can say whether I'll be talking to them again or not (just joking!).

#5 follies

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:49 PM

I never met her to begin with! The Step-MIL is a grouchy cow so we stay away and wish nasty things upon her.

#6 DarkestNight

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:51 PM

I guess it depends on your relationship with her. If you have no problems, then maybe you should call her more often, or jump on when DH calls.

I usually don't go out of my way to talk to the IL's. They are local so I see them at least every couple of weeks with DH.

#7 butterflydreaming

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:53 PM

That is slack. Do talks to my mother a few times a week while I talk to her daily. As for his parents we see them a few times a week and talk daily.

#8 ~Flick~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:54 PM

On the phone? Probably 3-4 times a week, and that's just for a chat -- not because we have to. And my PIL only live 8 minutes away! Then I would see them probably once a week on average.

Christmas 2010 - yes that's slack. But has she made any attempt to contact you? Maybe she senses you don't want to talk to her? shrug.gif

Edited by ~Flick~, 13 April 2012 - 05:54 PM.


#9 CountryFeral

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:54 PM

My DP and I have been together for 12 years and I have NEVER called her in all that time!

I do speak to her - when I answer the phone and she's called but we aren't phone you up buddies (obviously!)

I think your DH only calling her a couple of times a year is pretty slack TBH..

#10 threelittlegems

Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:59 PM

I phone my MIL for a chat (or vice versa) at least once per week. I last spoke to her on Wednesday afternoon.

We did have an awful argument and didn't speak to each other for the whole of 2009. It was horrible.


#11 Nicole-Bris

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:00 PM

Has she called since Christmas 2010? If not, well then I don't see why you are the only slack one.  I can't remember the last time I called my inlaws.  They also live interstate and DH is the blacksheep of the family and doesn't really get along with his parents.  I think they may phone eachother maybe once or twice a year but we went and visited in January this year.

#12 au*lit

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:00 PM

The last time I spoke to her was when I saw her on the weekend. I don't think I have ever called her, or maybe once. DH calls her and FIL and they call to speak to him. They always send their love but don't generally speak to me on the phone. Same goes for my family (I call/receive calls from my family, DH doesn't). Works for us.

I'm not terribly close to MIL. I don't have a problem with her, we're just not kindred spirits. Plus, she could talk underwater with a loaf of bread in her mouth, generally about the most mind-numbingly boring and inane minutiae of other people's lives, so I'm pretty happy to maintain the status quo.

#13 IsolaBella

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:03 PM

QUOTE
I'm not terribly close to MIL. I don't have a problem with her, we're just not kindred spirits.


This is my MIL and I. We don't choose to 'chat' to eachother. Any of our weekly exchanges are very brief and only relate to the kids or DH. On the other hand she came overseas with us in Dec for 2wks. Not the best time of my life, but I realised the importance of that for DH and the kids.

The only times I usually 'sit' down with MIL to chat are Easter or Christmas if we happen to be in town (as often overseas or interstate seeing my family).

ETA: In terms of conversation I have probably had more conversation with my brother's MIL (who is German and lives overseas) in the past 10yrs on the few times I have seen her compared to my MIL.

Edited by lsolaBella, 13 April 2012 - 06:05 PM.


#14 be_a_butterfly

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:03 PM

2003 LOL.

She is a weird woman and we don't have contact with her anymore.

#15 Bel Rowley

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:05 PM

About 2 hours ago, she and FIL babysat the kids all day while I was doing something for uni assignment. I see and/or speak to my PIL at least once a week, probably more than I speak to my own parents. I certainly speak to DH's parents more than he does.

#16 ~LTM~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:06 PM

Not since Christmas 2011.  They live interstate and mostly talk to my DH.  We don't have a home phone, so they just call his mobile.  

I don't dislike or have any problems with her, I just don't have a need to speak with her.

#17 *lalah*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:07 PM

I don't think you're slack. I see my MIL a lot, but it's DPs job to stay in touch with her, not really mine. You could always send her emails/pictures etc... but don't feel bad just because you don't have the same relationship with her that others have with their MILs.

#18 Cappie

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:07 PM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 13/04/2012, 05:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think your DH only calling her a couple of times a year is pretty slack TBH..


I second this - DH speaks to his Mother a little less than I speak to her, but at least one check in phone call a week. I guess it depends on the family though?

I last spoke to MIL this morning, and we text many times during the day. But then we are very close and even more so since I have provided her with her first grandbaby i.e. she has a big excuse to call me a lot, to remind me to send another picture message etc.

In summary, in my situation, yes it would be incredibly slack, but that isn't a blanket statement for you, you may not have that sort of relationship with your MIL.

#19 frenchalex

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:08 PM

Ha!!  I can understand au*lit!!  Funny how everyone else's lives are interesting but I never get asked about my own!

I don't understand why people think it's slack that Erica 2012 hasn't called her MIL.  Why is it her responsibility? It's different if you have a close relationship or she looks after the kids etc but otherwise I don't understand why it has anything to do with her to maintain a relationship with the in laws.  I am sick of husbands/partners expecting the women/mothers to manage all aspects of family life - including the relationships with their own parents.  I must say my own husband is not bad at keeping in touch with his family but it is certainly at a different pace to the relationship I have with my own parents.

#20 Fr0g

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:09 PM

Yesterday. I can go for 2 weeks without speaking due to both of us bring busy, but it's not usual.

She's been a big part of my life since 1993 and I speak to her more than my own mum, who lives interstate.


#21 SeaPrincess

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:10 PM

Spoke a couple of days ago. Picked her up from the airport at lunchtime today (along with grandMIL) for a 3-wk stay.  We live about 2,000km away.

R



#22 PatG

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:11 PM

I last spoke to my MIL in August 2010.  My husband only talks to my mother if he happens to answer the phone.  Same for fathers, although I spoke to my FIL more recently - last December maybe?  We all get along just fine.

#23 PigNewton

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:11 PM

I don't call her up, but quite often when DH calls her on the Skype phone I will also be in the room and say hello and do a quick catch-up. Not sure how often DH talks to her, they text quite a bit and I know they definitely chat at least once a week after his bowling league. We only see her once a year or so as she lives 2600kms away.
I do think your DH is slack.

#24 Feral timtam

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:12 PM

About five minutes ago.
We live in the same house so we talk daily, I reckon 30 seconds to say hello as we pass each other in the hall beats having to make small talk for an uncomfortable 30 minutes once a week.
Then again, sharing the house means we know what we have in common so when we are stuck without the buffer of our menfolk for half an hour we can actually talk companionably.

#25 KnightsofNi

Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:12 PM

2pm.

We normally speak a couple of times a week and would rarely go more than 2 weeks without speaking.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Outrage over baby's icy challenge

A man has been reported to child protective services after taking the ALS ice bucket challenge with his 10-month-old granddaughter.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.