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Baby Showers
The done thing, or shameless gift grabbing?

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#1 CubaLulu

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:16 PM

As per my topic description... are baby showers still the done thing, or are they seen as a bit of gift grabbing? Of course, I know I could request 'no gifts', but my friends are the sort to ignore that...

Did you have one or have one thrown for you? And if I do have one (My best friend wants to throw one for me and I'd be involved in the organisation, she's already asking me what I'd like!) what sort of things do you think would make for a nice shower to be enjoyed by all?

Any suggestions/opinions appreciated!

#2 ally0812

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:24 PM

if they want to do it, let them:) they're trying to be involved in your pregnancy. if you find out the sex of bub, dont tell until the shower, make a pink-blue sponge cake and ice it with baby decorations- iced dummy-bottle-blanket ect. make most food vege sticks and dips, fruit salad, mince and lettuce cups, mini quiches- finger stuff thats healthy! games are nice to keep for baby to look at later on in life, like Caption that pic- find funny-strange pics on net of babies(any age). baby bingo- give blank ruled up pages of 12 squares out, get guests to fill in each square with a baby word, nappy blanket cot ect... and as you open gifts if you get a blanket they cross it off. first with a full line wins biggrin.gif

#3 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:26 PM

I missed out on a baby shower sad.gif it probably can be seen as a bit present grabby, but when I had mine planned in my head I had organised an afternoon where I could catch up with all my friends and just have a relaxing time. More like a special afternoon tea. I wasn't planning on playing any baby games or anything like that and going with the theme of champagne and cupcakes. Like you my friends are the type to ignore the no presents rule and so I planned to buy some really nice champers to share. Unfortunately all 3 of my sisters had moved overseas at the time and I felt a bit weird asking one of my friends to step in (someone kinda has to volunteer!!) and then DS was breech so I had to go in 2 weeks early for CS ... so it just never happened.

As an aside I have a lot of friends who have had showers and I don't see it as being present grabby, but I hate all the damn games .... !!!!

Have one and enjoy original.gif

#4 roses7

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:35 PM

IMHO, they are shameless present grabs.

Though to be fair, it is often the organiser who gets carried away, rather than the mum-to-be herself.

I've been to 2 baby showers where the organising friend went completely OTT and basically took it upon themselves to organise a group gift that we were all supposed to chip in $80-$100 for  blink.gif

Instead of a baby shower I just went out for high tea with a few friends, which was lovely.

#5 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:35 PM

I had a traditional baby shower thrown for me and recieved a lot of nice gifts.

I dont think there is anthing wrong with having a baby shower if you want to have one, and I think its rude to write no gifts especially because some people are really excited for you and want to give you a gift.

Like my nanna, as soon as she found out I was pregnant she started knitting me jumpers, beanies and all sorts of things. DS was her first great grandchild and she was just so excited she could knit something for him. Many people get a lot out of giving. I think people would of been a bit hurt and dissapointed if I said no gifts.

Also were adults and perfectly capable of deciding whether we want to bring a gift or not.

If you dont like the usual formal baby showers you could just go out for lunch with your friends/ family or have a BBQ with partners and kids. Thats what im probably going to do.

I think some people honestly just hate baby showers because of the formality and the games and also I think for some people its a sore point because no one wanted to throw them a baby shower and it can be a bit hurtful when they see other peoples baby showers are these big beautiful events with lots of loved ones and the pregnant women being showered with gifts and so they say "I hate baby showers - they are just a gift grab! I never wanted one anyway!"

Edited by Retro_Mumma, 13 April 2012 - 01:37 PM.

#6 Choufleur

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:50 PM

I had a baby shower with a bunch of girlfriends, we had a lovely afternoon with cakes and tea. We played some games (3 I think, they were pretty quick & simple and we played in groups) and then opened presents.

Noone expects expensive gifts.  People tend to give gifts when a baby is born so there is no need to buy again when you visit baby if you've been to the shower.  I would normally only spend $20 - $30 on a shower present whether by myself or with a bunch of friends. A friend of mine often gave bags of hand-me-down clothes at showers.

If you friends want to throw you one, let them.  Just be polite and write thank you letters for your gifts.

#7 Harmonica

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

Personally I think baby showers are a lovely way to celebrate a first pregnancy and the pending birth - a chance to get together with special friends and just have a nice time.

I do think it gets a bit tacky though when people start having one for each baby they have and expect loads of gifts etc. etc.

#8 PurpleChicken

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:06 PM

I think they're a great idea.  I had a proper shower for #1 and got heaps of great stuff (some expensive, some not).  Some gifts were just a few onsies, which come in very handy for when bubs is little.

I won't be having a big shower for this baby because I feel like it WILL be a shameless present grab this time.  I'm going to organise a high tea with friends and family & if they want to buy me a gift, they can, but I'll let everyone know it's not necessary.

#9 fozzymum

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:08 PM

I organised my own baby shower but that's because my two beloved sisters are a bit clueless about these things and we had been TTC for nearly 5 years so I well and truly wanted to celebrate. I just asked my nearest and dearest to join me for high tea and I did write 'no presents needed' on the invite. Some friends brought presents anyway but most said they wanted to wait and see if I was having a boy or a girl first. I wasn't interested in games or anything like that so it was perfect for me and I loved catching up with everyone. My friends were excited for us as well so I don't think anyone begrudged me my shower time.   original.gif

#10 **Xena**

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:24 PM

I had 3  ohmy.gif None of them I organised though and 2 I didn't even know about beforehand.

I had 2 for my first child. One was organised by a friend and it was pretty casual, no games and minimal decorations, though they did all get me a present. We drank non-alcoholic wine and chatted about baby stuff.
The other was organised by my boss and had games and all my work mates there. They all chipped in and made me a hamper of baby stuff which was lovely.

The third one was for my second child and just with friends. Again casual and no presents. Just hanging out chatting.

#11 SummerStar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:05 PM

I personally don't like them at all, I've never had one and I have only ever been to 2 in my life. One was because it was my sister in law and the other because it was a babyshower/farewell/someone's birthday type combined event that everyone was coming to from all over the place, many I hadn't seen in a while. Any others I've been invited to I have been "busy" depending who it is I might give a small gift next time I see them because I feel obligated but that's it.

I don't mind if others want to have them but they're just not my thing... At all.

But then neither are kitchen teas, hens nights etc

#12 flowerpuff

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:18 PM

I love them - not for the pressies - but for a great excuse to go out for lunch or have a get-together with my girlfriends before the baby arrives and my ability to dress myself before 4pm or go out without vomit on my shoulder eludes me..... blush.gif

#13 Soontobegran

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:20 PM

There's nothing the matter with Baby showers. I think they are a lovely way to get together with friends and family to celebrate the impending arrival.
They do not have to be 'shameless present grabs', I have never been to one that made me think they cared whether I bought a gift or not.

I do not like the thought of Baby Shower registries however. I think the option should be there for people to either bring nothing or something useful but not so costly. I see bibs, socks, nappies, wipes etc as good shower gifts!

#14 Praetor VitaeChel

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:31 PM

I loved my baby shower. My best friend arranged it and many friends and relatives I hadn't seen in a while took time out to come. No baby games (I am not game inclined), but lovely chats and afternoon tea. It was one of the last events my grandmother could make it too (she died late last year). I treasure the fact that she came and the plain white organic cotton blanket she gave me holds a special place in my heart.

It's not about the gifts at all. It's about the memories made.

I am considering having an afternoon tea baby shower for this baby as we will be leaving Australia not long after she is born and I would like to be able to have a special occasion to celebrate with friends and family before it all gets too hectic.

#15 Balto1

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:37 PM

I love baby showers and think they are lovely, as long as people don't go OTT. I agree with STBG- gift registries are tacky. Expecting big ticket items from guests rude also.

I had fun at mine and I don't believe any gift I received would have been over $20, which is e way it should be, IMO.  It is a celebration with friends in anticipation new life, not a gift grab.

I also love buying for other people's baby showers- I am the sensible one who buys outfits no smaller than size 0.

#16 SofaSpud

Posted 14 April 2012 - 10:31 AM

Yes, I've always loved going to baby showers, most people I know love any excuse for a get together. As PP's have said it doesn't need to be a gift grab (I've never been to one with a gift registry, that sounds a bit wrong to me) but people usually love to buy something for a new baby so i see it as that rather than an obligation. Cost doesn't factor into it amongst those around me, a lot of people I know hand make things which is way cheaper and extra special IMO. 2 of my close friends are organising my baby shower at the moment (I am pregnant with my first) and i cant wait. I'm looking forward to having all my favourite girls together for a fun afternoon.

Be flattered and enjoy original.gif

#17 ninaswalk

Posted 14 April 2012 - 10:43 AM

I don't understand the negativity around this! What's wrong with giving gifts to an expectant mum?  

I had a lovely baby shower organised by a dear friend.  I appreciated every single gift I received and was so grateful to get things that I never would've thought of.  It certainly wasn't about the gift for me - we chose our daughters name from one of the games and got lots of excellent advise from experienced Mums.
I personally would never have a gift registry or list of things I want, but that wouldn't stop be going and supporting a new mum to be in such and exciting time. (and I would buy them what I wanted to not what they said to!)

#18 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 14 April 2012 - 10:44 AM

I had one thrown for me. Was fun few friends, food and funnies.  

I don't think there a gift grab, unless the mum to be is stating she won't accept the gifts unless they over a certin $$$ amount or certin brand.

#19 LynnyP

Posted 14 April 2012 - 10:48 AM

I think they are more common than not, especially for a first child.  I didn't have a "shower" as such as I really detest the traditional way they are done, games and sh*te.  However I did go out to lunch with friends both times to have a last get together.

I think that some people think they are a present grab because the types of presents given at baby showers have increased in scope and expense and there is still, sometimes, an expectation to give a present when the baby is born too.  Cashing in my old lady card I can say the baby showers and kitchen teas I went to as a young woman had gifts of a single bib, a pair of booties, baby oil (good for both occasions), spatula, tea towels etc.  Now they are the sort of gifts that used to be confined to after the birth or the wedding but there is still the expectation that a similar gift will be offered at a wedding.

Now I know that some of you regular readers will say that they have never expected that, that anyone who was invited was honoured to be at the occasions and thrilled to be buying presents but that is not the case for everyone!

I love to go to high teas and lunches etc before the baby is born.  I love buying baby presents.  I would, however, pay seriously good money to not have to participate in games involving disposable nappies.

#20 Burro

Posted 14 April 2012 - 11:04 AM

I'm generally not a fan. I disagree with a PP as they seem to be all about the present. Sitting in a circle inspecting each gift makes me uncomfortable and I'd rather give a gift when I meet the baby, so i always end up giving two or feeling a bit embarrassed  if i skip or skimp on one. I also hate the lame games.
I have been to one for a friend who was going to need a lot of support and on that occasion it was a lovely celebration of love and support from all of her friends and family and I was really happy to take part and contribute.
Also some people hit all the milestones in a conventional fashion and get all the pressies; engagement, kitchen tea, wedding and by the time the baby shower comes along you can feel a bit over celebrating them while other friends chose or are delt a less conventional life.
FTR - I did life the conventional way but a lot of my friends and family can't or haven't.

#21 Etcetera

Posted 14 April 2012 - 11:31 AM

Baby showers are fine.
It's the gift registries or the 'only buy x, y or z, no a, b or c' stuff that annoys me and makes it all about the presents.

#22 SofaSpud

Posted 15 April 2012 - 08:35 AM

QUOTE (JustLynn @ 14/04/2012, 10:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I love to go to high teas and lunches etc before the baby is born.  I love buying baby presents.  I would, however, pay seriously good money to not have to participate in games involving disposable nappies.

LOL, I love all the silly games but my one request to my friends organising mine was that we don't play any games involving nappies and fake poo! sick.gif

#23 SeaPrincess

Posted 15 April 2012 - 08:40 AM

I didn't know they were ever the done thing - I've only been to about 5 ever.  3 were a complete surprise to the expectant mother (including mine), and the other 2 were just the girls going out for lunch, some people brought gifts, but not all.

But if someone wanted to throw one and involve me in the organisation, I'd probably try to go down the lunch-no-presents route.


#24 Futureself

Posted 15 April 2012 - 10:00 AM

I like them, but I've only been to a couple where the emphasis was on getting together with loved ones and was 'high tea' style with fabulous food and drinks provided. Gifts were small - funky socks etc
Once a Wishing well or registry is involved then you've lost me.  And games with fake poo. So Weird.
I know that my female best friend and sisters will throw me one like or or not but it will be the high tea style with no mention of gifts.

#25 mumandboys

Posted 15 April 2012 - 10:05 AM

I never had one, but I think they're perfectly acceptable for a first baby.

I don't really like going to baby showers (but do love buying gifts for babies!!)

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