Jump to content

stress during pregnancy
how much does it affect baby ?


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:35 AM

Just after some anecdotal or scientific feedback on stress during pregnancy and potential affects - and also what I can do to minimise.

I am having a very stressful time at work right now in that it's possible I will be made redundant three months out from mat leave (due in August).  I am waiting for my employer to give me some kind of detail - which they say is currently being ratified by HR & legal depts.  Every time I have a conversation with senior management about it (two full-on convos so far), baby kicks around quite alot afterwards.  This may be coincidental of course but it got me thinking.

The company knows my situation & I have made clear that putting me in this position is not good for my health, esp given my age & two early m/cs.

Obviously every individual handles stress differently so it's a hard one to have a definitive answer to.

Any thoughts ?

#2 opethmum

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:52 AM

I would consult a member of your union and give them the heads up. If they are making you redundant and no one else that is suspicious in my opinion. It is better go in to "that" meeting all guns blazing especially that you are pregnant and knowing your rights as a worker in that position. You may be able to negotiate a reasonable settlement if that is what you want.
I do hope that they cut you some slack and that the stress can be alleviated and quickly.
In the meantime I would seek some counselling to help you through this awful time or just keep talking to your DH and or close family member or friend to keep you sane through this.
hugs and I hope it gets better for you.

#3 ~Supernova~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:52 AM

At uni we got told that stress during pregnancy can influence a babies temperament...

On a purely anecdotal level, when pregnant with DD I had little to no stress (my whole pregnancy was a breeze) and had a difficult, needy, and non sleeping screamer. With DS I had a HIGHLY stressful pregnancy, both from pregnancy complications and stuff going on in my personal life. Despite having reflux he is a very happy, placid baby who sleeps all night long lol.



#4 Lady Sybil Vimes

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:09 AM

I'm sorry you're going through this, I can understand why you'd worry. On a purely anecdotal level I had horrendously stressful time with work during my pregnancy including ongoing workplace bullying and a whole lot of management turmoil and and now have a happy, easy-going baby. I agree with the previous suggestion of accessing some counselling or similar to support you while you go through this. Do you have a mentor at work or a union delegate who could advise you? All the best, OP.

#5 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:15 AM

QUOTE (opethmum @ 13/04/2012, 09:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would consult a member of your union and give them the heads up. If they are making you redundant and no one else that is suspicious in my opinion. It is better go in to "that" meeting all guns blazing especially that you are pregnant and knowing your rights as a worker in that position. You may be able to negotiate a reasonable settlement if that is what you want.
I do hope that they cut you some slack and that the stress can be alleviated and quickly.
In the meantime I would seek some counselling to help you through this awful time or just keep talking to your DH and or close family member or friend to keep you sane through this.
hugs and I hope it gets better for you.

Thanks opethmum.
No union I'm afraid ! And certainly no mentor - this whole process has been very poorly managed (and I have let them know that).  

It's a senior director-level position and not under an award.  There are others being made redundant across different levels, so it's not just me.

I have made them very aware of the stress levels & I know they are concerned from a corporate perspective - I'm hoping I will be able to negotiate a settlement based on the three months between now & mat leave, 3 months mat leave, then some kind of compensation for not having a job to go back to.  But the process of them actually telling/discussing with me what's on the table is taking a long time.

I have also engaged initial legal advice on best approach, and if we get to the negotiating process, will probably have someone do that on my behalf.

It's the waiting that is killing me and stressing me.  I'm just hoping it doesn't last too long.  DH is brilliant at supporting, I'm not sure there's much more I can actually do at this point.  All I want is for our much longed-for baby to be happy & healthy.  


#6 Goggie

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:35 AM

OP, they sound like a large organization and therefore should have an employee assistance program (EAP) which should give you free counselling. Not from an employment law or rights perspective but to help you talk through the issues and how they are affecting you, along with some strategies to help reduce the stress you are feeling. Being in a position of uncertainty is hard at the best if times and just talking it through with someone impartial may be just what you need. Best wishes

#7 Pilar Palabundar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:03 AM

Hey Liltuss
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are having to go through this especially now.  I'm glad you've seeked legal advice, this is probably the best thing you could do, without sounding condescending - I know it's easier said than done, perhaps just let it go.  Be confident you have sound advice when it comes to the negotiating table and knowing you've done everything in your power to ensure you're not swindled out of your correct payout.  Remember deep breaths when you're feeling under pressure (walk away, get some fresh air) and don't forget the end goal of that beautiful baby soon to be here.... plus I'm sure you'll get another job when you are ready to head back into the workforce.

Best of luck, and take care of yourself.  

Pilarxx

#8 WinterIsComing

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:14 AM

I had a very stressful pregnancy, a combination of workplace conflict, personal issues and threatened preterm labour. Despite everything, DS was born very healthy, big, reasonably easy baby who is hitting all milestones well ahead. Anecdotal but perhaps encouraging to you.

#9 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:18 AM

QUOTE (tauruspregnant! @ 13/04/2012, 10:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OP, they sound like a large organization and therefore should have an employee assistance program (EAP) which should give you free counselling.

You're quite right taurus, there is a counselling service the company has contracted.  I actually used them during the TTC/IVF process & the counsellors were seriously hopeless ! (I've been to a few).  I have a great psych that I've been to in the past under the Medicare mental health plan & still have a few visits left under that so may try her.

Thankfully, I have all the tools etc I need to do my very best to manage the stress, it's a matter of applying them & hopefully minimising it.

#10 mez70

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:18 AM

It is one of those things increased stress level are best to be avoided but sometimes you just cannot help it. I know with my last Pregnancy my dad Stroke, then had a major septic infection on his foot leading to a Major op and Big Toe removed (poor circulation from stroke and other complications) so lengthy recovery, and then just when he had been discharged from respite he went on to have a heart attack (mild) and had a Pace Maker inserted so all up 3 major and life threatening illnesses between about 8 weeks and 28 weeks so as a result my stress levels were sky high, as I am an only child so managing dads care, sorting out his affairs, dealing with his work etc under POA, minding his dog etc. Then whilst dad was in Hosp I then had DS1 rushed to ED and admitted with pneumonia. You can get the picture. My OB knowing my history and what was going on kept a very close watch on me, I was on sleeping tablets very early on as I was not sleeping (at ob's suggestion)  

Strangely that bub is now my DS2 and is the most placid and easy going of all 3 of my kids.

With my first Pregnancy I had a stressfull situation at work that resulted me speaking to a relieving supervisor (mine was on leave) explain was going to leave that day though she mad a couple of calls and spoke to someone in my team who veriied all I had said but asked coupld I come in the Monday to "hand over" which I did. Left 6 weeks earlier than I was supposed to as I was having twins and struggling already and work just was not worth the risk to "them" Sometimes I have found yes you take a financial hit but walking away is better. Don't let them walk all over you but at the same time don't feel you have to fight like mad sometimes the middle ground or loosing out actually makes you the winner...


#11 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:23 AM

Thanks ladies, there are definitely some anecdotal stories here that provide comfort for me in that mummy stress doesn't always equal stressful bub, and vice versa.

The legal advice I have is from a good friend of DH's who's an IR barrister and he said ultimately you just don't want to go through with the angst of challenging anything - it's just too messy; and as mez said, walking away is usually a better option if it ultimately means happiness.  I'm confident they'll give me a decent level of compensation but the wheels turn so slowly within this large organisation, the waiting is just awful.  It's ironic they keep saying my health is number one priority yet it doesn't make the HR/Finance depts move any more quickly.

#12 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:26 AM

QUOTE (Pilar Palabundar @ 13/04/2012, 11:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey Liltuss
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are having to go through this especially now.  I'm glad you've seeked legal advice, this is probably the best thing you could do, without sounding condescending - I know it's easier said than done, perhaps just let it go.  Be confident you have sound advice when it comes to the negotiating table and knowing you've done everything in your power to ensure you're not swindled out of your correct payout.  Remember deep breaths when you're feeling under pressure (walk away, get some fresh air) and don't forget the end goal of that beautiful baby soon to be here.... plus I'm sure you'll get another job when you are ready to head back into the workforce.

Best of luck, and take care of yourself.  

Pilarxx

Thanks PP, you're a sweetheart.  I must say I do have concerns that when I re-enter the workforce I'll be 44 or so, and my industry is a 'young' one.  Part of my worry (and also one of the arguments I'll be putting to them in order to get a larger payout) is that I'll be out of the 'game' for 15 months or more, without a job to return to.

I had a conversation with my senior director just now & he's told me to take time off until the decision is made (if I want to).  I think swims, massages and some gentle exercise are in order.

Edited by Liltuss, 13 April 2012 - 11:27 AM.


#13 Goggie

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:31 AM

Sorry you didn't have a great experience with the company's eap. I used one several years ago and found them really helpful - but it all depends on who you get!

swims and massage sound like a plan in the meantime though:)

#14 Pilar Palabundar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:40 AM

QUOTE (Liltuss @ 13/04/2012, 11:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
he's told me to take time off until the decision is made (if I want to). I think swims, massages and some gentle exercise are in order.

Sounds like the plan Liltuss... enjoy it ! Prepare yourself for some soccer practice going on though...... your little one prefers you active doesn't he wink.gif

Edited by Pilar Palabundar, 13 April 2012 - 11:41 AM.


#15 opethmum

Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:38 PM

It does not really matter what level of management you are, you can still get union support should you see the need. Although it is an individual contract per se, you still can seek advice re: your redundancy options.
I really hope that you can get the maximum you deserve and that you can you can minimise the stress somewhat.
Good luck.



#16 Nobody Cool

Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:59 PM

...

Edited by AryaStar, 04 February 2013 - 06:19 PM.


#17 Cat Burglar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:32 PM

Just personally I had HEAPS of stress while pregnant and I don't think it has affected DD. She is a very intelligent, nosey, highly strung, over active individual, but so am I.

The thing is that you can stress about being stressed so try not to worry about is this going to affect my baby etc. Remember that the human race has survived thousands of years of stressful situations like wars floods famines etc and healthy babies were born nonetheless.

If you can take up yoga or meditating or something that may be beneficial.

I hope things improve for you bbighug.gif

#18 Peggy Olson

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:35 PM

I can relate to this. My first pregnancy was stressful. There was a lot of turmoil at my former workplace. We were suddenly being called in to financially justify our spending and our existence within the broader department and company while my supervisor was on paternity leave. I was doing a lot of shift work, so 50 hr plus weeks were the norm rather than the exception.
On top of this, our former landlord kicked us out for renovations while I was 7 months pregnant, so there was a lot of running around trying to find somewhere to live as well as juggling work stress and crazy shifts. I had an antepartum haemmorrage at 33 weeks the week we were to move house and was hospitalised for 3 nights. The only good thing about that was that I wound up work 2 weeks earlier than I would have. My section was terminated while I was on maternity leave. I received my redundancy the week I was due to return to work.

Despite a traumatic labour and a bit of feeding difficulty, my son was a very easy, chilled out baby.


#19 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (opethmum @ 13/04/2012, 12:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It does not really matter what level of management you are, you can still get union support should you see the need. Although it is an individual contract per se, you still can seek advice re: your redundancy options.
I really hope that you can get the maximum you deserve and that you can you can minimise the stress somewhat.
Good luck.

Without going into details, it's slightly more complicated than it seems in my not being a union member but in any case, I'm confident in what I will go in negotiating for - it's really trying to get through the waiting time that's hard.

#20 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:16 PM

QUOTE (Soccer Mum @ 13/04/2012, 01:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just personally I had HEAPS of stress while pregnant and I don't think it has affected DD. She is a very intelligent, nosey, highly strung, over active individual, but so am I.

The thing is that you can stress about being stressed so try not to worry about is this going to affect my baby etc. Remember that the human race has survived thousands of years of stressful situations like wars floods famines etc and healthy babies were born nonetheless.

If you can take up yoga or meditating or something that may be beneficial.

I hope things improve for you bbighug.gif

Glad your DD is nosey and perky Soccer mum !! You're right about what our forefathers/mothers went through & I've said this more generally to DH on many occasions.  Our favourite quip is how I'll just have to go straight back to working in the fields with bub on my back the day after delivery.  But the reality is we are a spoilt generation so stress is relative !

I do prenatal yoga once a week on Sats so looking forward to that tomorrow.

#21 Guest_Starletta_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:20 PM

Op I've been in intense stress ever since I peed on the stick!

I think I've asked my ob at very appointment about stress and pregnancy. He just makes sure my blood pressure is ok and encouraged us to learn some things to manage anxiety. It does help. I have short meditations on my iPhone which do help and I do yoga as well. Make sure you are getting enough sleep too, it can make a big difference to stress levels.

Good luck with everything original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

'I had a lotus birth and I loved it'

Lotus birthing is not all that common, but for a number of women it feels like the most natural thing to do.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Is your family's car part of the world's biggest safety recall?

More than 50 million vehicles recalled for potentially lethal airbag fault - is your car affected?

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

Mother-in-law faceplants during proposal

He had it all planned: a romantic proposal on a windswept beach. The whole family would be there so they'd all be able to celebrate the joyous moment together.

A preschooler suddenly goes mute - and it's not just shyness

When our son stopped talking, our sense of loss was painful and acute.

The mums who ask for a 'wife bonus'

They run their homes like domestic CEOs and work tirelessly to improve their family's social standing. And now, according to a new book, they want an annual perk from their husbands.

Woman shares photo of dimple on breast to warn others of cancer risk

A widely-shared Facebook photograph of a British woman's breast has raised awareness of a more subtle breast cancer symptom.

Starting a family despite a low sperm count

"I'd never really failed a test - how could I fail this particularly manly test?"

It's official: we must better protect our kids from toxic lead exposure

New guidelines have been released, aimed at reducing children's harmful exposure to lead. But they still don't go far enough.

Trouble-shooting toddler social skills

Chances are your toddler's behaviour is all completely normal - but here's how to tackle some common social problems.

Helping your first-born welcome a sibling

We did sigh with joy at the arrival of a royal princess - but, mostly, we sighed with pity at the sight of Prince George being taken to meet her.

Farewell, daytime nap

I've been in denial and I'm not too proud to beg, but it appears I must accept the fact that you have gone. I need to let you go.

The identical triplets who are one in 50 million

The father of identical triplets born in a Texas hospital says his three daughters, including conjoined twins, are "a miracle" sent by God.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.