Jump to content

stress during pregnancy
how much does it affect baby ?


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:35 AM

Just after some anecdotal or scientific feedback on stress during pregnancy and potential affects - and also what I can do to minimise.

I am having a very stressful time at work right now in that it's possible I will be made redundant three months out from mat leave (due in August).  I am waiting for my employer to give me some kind of detail - which they say is currently being ratified by HR & legal depts.  Every time I have a conversation with senior management about it (two full-on convos so far), baby kicks around quite alot afterwards.  This may be coincidental of course but it got me thinking.

The company knows my situation & I have made clear that putting me in this position is not good for my health, esp given my age & two early m/cs.

Obviously every individual handles stress differently so it's a hard one to have a definitive answer to.

Any thoughts ?

#2 opethmum

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:52 AM

I would consult a member of your union and give them the heads up. If they are making you redundant and no one else that is suspicious in my opinion. It is better go in to "that" meeting all guns blazing especially that you are pregnant and knowing your rights as a worker in that position. You may be able to negotiate a reasonable settlement if that is what you want.
I do hope that they cut you some slack and that the stress can be alleviated and quickly.
In the meantime I would seek some counselling to help you through this awful time or just keep talking to your DH and or close family member or friend to keep you sane through this.
hugs and I hope it gets better for you.

#3 ~Supernova~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:52 AM

At uni we got told that stress during pregnancy can influence a babies temperament...

On a purely anecdotal level, when pregnant with DD I had little to no stress (my whole pregnancy was a breeze) and had a difficult, needy, and non sleeping screamer. With DS I had a HIGHLY stressful pregnancy, both from pregnancy complications and stuff going on in my personal life. Despite having reflux he is a very happy, placid baby who sleeps all night long lol.



#4 Lady Sybil Vimes

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:09 AM

I'm sorry you're going through this, I can understand why you'd worry. On a purely anecdotal level I had horrendously stressful time with work during my pregnancy including ongoing workplace bullying and a whole lot of management turmoil and and now have a happy, easy-going baby. I agree with the previous suggestion of accessing some counselling or similar to support you while you go through this. Do you have a mentor at work or a union delegate who could advise you? All the best, OP.

#5 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:15 AM

QUOTE (opethmum @ 13/04/2012, 09:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would consult a member of your union and give them the heads up. If they are making you redundant and no one else that is suspicious in my opinion. It is better go in to "that" meeting all guns blazing especially that you are pregnant and knowing your rights as a worker in that position. You may be able to negotiate a reasonable settlement if that is what you want.
I do hope that they cut you some slack and that the stress can be alleviated and quickly.
In the meantime I would seek some counselling to help you through this awful time or just keep talking to your DH and or close family member or friend to keep you sane through this.
hugs and I hope it gets better for you.

Thanks opethmum.
No union I'm afraid ! And certainly no mentor - this whole process has been very poorly managed (and I have let them know that).  

It's a senior director-level position and not under an award.  There are others being made redundant across different levels, so it's not just me.

I have made them very aware of the stress levels & I know they are concerned from a corporate perspective - I'm hoping I will be able to negotiate a settlement based on the three months between now & mat leave, 3 months mat leave, then some kind of compensation for not having a job to go back to.  But the process of them actually telling/discussing with me what's on the table is taking a long time.

I have also engaged initial legal advice on best approach, and if we get to the negotiating process, will probably have someone do that on my behalf.

It's the waiting that is killing me and stressing me.  I'm just hoping it doesn't last too long.  DH is brilliant at supporting, I'm not sure there's much more I can actually do at this point.  All I want is for our much longed-for baby to be happy & healthy.  


#6 Goggie

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:35 AM

OP, they sound like a large organization and therefore should have an employee assistance program (EAP) which should give you free counselling. Not from an employment law or rights perspective but to help you talk through the issues and how they are affecting you, along with some strategies to help reduce the stress you are feeling. Being in a position of uncertainty is hard at the best if times and just talking it through with someone impartial may be just what you need. Best wishes

#7 Pilar Palabundar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:03 AM

Hey Liltuss
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are having to go through this especially now.  I'm glad you've seeked legal advice, this is probably the best thing you could do, without sounding condescending - I know it's easier said than done, perhaps just let it go.  Be confident you have sound advice when it comes to the negotiating table and knowing you've done everything in your power to ensure you're not swindled out of your correct payout.  Remember deep breaths when you're feeling under pressure (walk away, get some fresh air) and don't forget the end goal of that beautiful baby soon to be here.... plus I'm sure you'll get another job when you are ready to head back into the workforce.

Best of luck, and take care of yourself.  

Pilarxx

#8 WinterIsComing

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:14 AM

I had a very stressful pregnancy, a combination of workplace conflict, personal issues and threatened preterm labour. Despite everything, DS was born very healthy, big, reasonably easy baby who is hitting all milestones well ahead. Anecdotal but perhaps encouraging to you.

#9 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:18 AM

QUOTE (tauruspregnant! @ 13/04/2012, 10:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OP, they sound like a large organization and therefore should have an employee assistance program (EAP) which should give you free counselling.

You're quite right taurus, there is a counselling service the company has contracted.  I actually used them during the TTC/IVF process & the counsellors were seriously hopeless ! (I've been to a few).  I have a great psych that I've been to in the past under the Medicare mental health plan & still have a few visits left under that so may try her.

Thankfully, I have all the tools etc I need to do my very best to manage the stress, it's a matter of applying them & hopefully minimising it.

#10 mez70

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:18 AM

It is one of those things increased stress level are best to be avoided but sometimes you just cannot help it. I know with my last Pregnancy my dad Stroke, then had a major septic infection on his foot leading to a Major op and Big Toe removed (poor circulation from stroke and other complications) so lengthy recovery, and then just when he had been discharged from respite he went on to have a heart attack (mild) and had a Pace Maker inserted so all up 3 major and life threatening illnesses between about 8 weeks and 28 weeks so as a result my stress levels were sky high, as I am an only child so managing dads care, sorting out his affairs, dealing with his work etc under POA, minding his dog etc. Then whilst dad was in Hosp I then had DS1 rushed to ED and admitted with pneumonia. You can get the picture. My OB knowing my history and what was going on kept a very close watch on me, I was on sleeping tablets very early on as I was not sleeping (at ob's suggestion)  

Strangely that bub is now my DS2 and is the most placid and easy going of all 3 of my kids.

With my first Pregnancy I had a stressfull situation at work that resulted me speaking to a relieving supervisor (mine was on leave) explain was going to leave that day though she mad a couple of calls and spoke to someone in my team who veriied all I had said but asked coupld I come in the Monday to "hand over" which I did. Left 6 weeks earlier than I was supposed to as I was having twins and struggling already and work just was not worth the risk to "them" Sometimes I have found yes you take a financial hit but walking away is better. Don't let them walk all over you but at the same time don't feel you have to fight like mad sometimes the middle ground or loosing out actually makes you the winner...


#11 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:23 AM

Thanks ladies, there are definitely some anecdotal stories here that provide comfort for me in that mummy stress doesn't always equal stressful bub, and vice versa.

The legal advice I have is from a good friend of DH's who's an IR barrister and he said ultimately you just don't want to go through with the angst of challenging anything - it's just too messy; and as mez said, walking away is usually a better option if it ultimately means happiness.  I'm confident they'll give me a decent level of compensation but the wheels turn so slowly within this large organisation, the waiting is just awful.  It's ironic they keep saying my health is number one priority yet it doesn't make the HR/Finance depts move any more quickly.

#12 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:26 AM

QUOTE (Pilar Palabundar @ 13/04/2012, 11:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey Liltuss
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are having to go through this especially now.  I'm glad you've seeked legal advice, this is probably the best thing you could do, without sounding condescending - I know it's easier said than done, perhaps just let it go.  Be confident you have sound advice when it comes to the negotiating table and knowing you've done everything in your power to ensure you're not swindled out of your correct payout.  Remember deep breaths when you're feeling under pressure (walk away, get some fresh air) and don't forget the end goal of that beautiful baby soon to be here.... plus I'm sure you'll get another job when you are ready to head back into the workforce.

Best of luck, and take care of yourself.  

Pilarxx

Thanks PP, you're a sweetheart.  I must say I do have concerns that when I re-enter the workforce I'll be 44 or so, and my industry is a 'young' one.  Part of my worry (and also one of the arguments I'll be putting to them in order to get a larger payout) is that I'll be out of the 'game' for 15 months or more, without a job to return to.

I had a conversation with my senior director just now & he's told me to take time off until the decision is made (if I want to).  I think swims, massages and some gentle exercise are in order.

Edited by Liltuss, 13 April 2012 - 11:27 AM.


#13 Goggie

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:31 AM

Sorry you didn't have a great experience with the company's eap. I used one several years ago and found them really helpful - but it all depends on who you get!

swims and massage sound like a plan in the meantime though:)

#14 Pilar Palabundar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:40 AM

QUOTE (Liltuss @ 13/04/2012, 11:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
he's told me to take time off until the decision is made (if I want to). I think swims, massages and some gentle exercise are in order.

Sounds like the plan Liltuss... enjoy it ! Prepare yourself for some soccer practice going on though...... your little one prefers you active doesn't he wink.gif

Edited by Pilar Palabundar, 13 April 2012 - 11:41 AM.


#15 opethmum

Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:38 PM

It does not really matter what level of management you are, you can still get union support should you see the need. Although it is an individual contract per se, you still can seek advice re: your redundancy options.
I really hope that you can get the maximum you deserve and that you can you can minimise the stress somewhat.
Good luck.



#16 Nobody Cool

Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:59 PM

...

Edited by AryaStar, 04 February 2013 - 06:19 PM.


#17 Cat Burglar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:32 PM

Just personally I had HEAPS of stress while pregnant and I don't think it has affected DD. She is a very intelligent, nosey, highly strung, over active individual, but so am I.

The thing is that you can stress about being stressed so try not to worry about is this going to affect my baby etc. Remember that the human race has survived thousands of years of stressful situations like wars floods famines etc and healthy babies were born nonetheless.

If you can take up yoga or meditating or something that may be beneficial.

I hope things improve for you bbighug.gif

#18 Peggy Olson

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:35 PM

I can relate to this. My first pregnancy was stressful. There was a lot of turmoil at my former workplace. We were suddenly being called in to financially justify our spending and our existence within the broader department and company while my supervisor was on paternity leave. I was doing a lot of shift work, so 50 hr plus weeks were the norm rather than the exception.
On top of this, our former landlord kicked us out for renovations while I was 7 months pregnant, so there was a lot of running around trying to find somewhere to live as well as juggling work stress and crazy shifts. I had an antepartum haemmorrage at 33 weeks the week we were to move house and was hospitalised for 3 nights. The only good thing about that was that I wound up work 2 weeks earlier than I would have. My section was terminated while I was on maternity leave. I received my redundancy the week I was due to return to work.

Despite a traumatic labour and a bit of feeding difficulty, my son was a very easy, chilled out baby.


#19 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (opethmum @ 13/04/2012, 12:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It does not really matter what level of management you are, you can still get union support should you see the need. Although it is an individual contract per se, you still can seek advice re: your redundancy options.
I really hope that you can get the maximum you deserve and that you can you can minimise the stress somewhat.
Good luck.

Without going into details, it's slightly more complicated than it seems in my not being a union member but in any case, I'm confident in what I will go in negotiating for - it's really trying to get through the waiting time that's hard.

#20 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:16 PM

QUOTE (Soccer Mum @ 13/04/2012, 01:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just personally I had HEAPS of stress while pregnant and I don't think it has affected DD. She is a very intelligent, nosey, highly strung, over active individual, but so am I.

The thing is that you can stress about being stressed so try not to worry about is this going to affect my baby etc. Remember that the human race has survived thousands of years of stressful situations like wars floods famines etc and healthy babies were born nonetheless.

If you can take up yoga or meditating or something that may be beneficial.

I hope things improve for you bbighug.gif

Glad your DD is nosey and perky Soccer mum !! You're right about what our forefathers/mothers went through & I've said this more generally to DH on many occasions.  Our favourite quip is how I'll just have to go straight back to working in the fields with bub on my back the day after delivery.  But the reality is we are a spoilt generation so stress is relative !

I do prenatal yoga once a week on Sats so looking forward to that tomorrow.

#21 Guest_Starletta_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:20 PM

Op I've been in intense stress ever since I peed on the stick!

I think I've asked my ob at very appointment about stress and pregnancy. He just makes sure my blood pressure is ok and encouraged us to learn some things to manage anxiety. It does help. I have short meditations on my iPhone which do help and I do yoga as well. Make sure you are getting enough sleep too, it can make a big difference to stress levels.

Good luck with everything original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex, Sandberg tells men

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Four-week-old baby Riley Hughes dies of whooping cough

The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Oh boy! Video shows family's reaction to baby surprise

Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.

How to help build up your baby's immune system

We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?

'Nick, you need to call an ambulance': home birth mum's tragic death

A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.

When dads believe their baby doesn't 'like' them

Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?

When was the last time a stranger praised your parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

15 names on the verge of extinction

If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.

5 characteristics of great dads

It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.

Why doesn't Australia have more breast milk banks?

When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?

Carrie Bickmore announces birth of daughter

Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.