Jump to content

stress during pregnancy
how much does it affect baby ?


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:35 AM

Just after some anecdotal or scientific feedback on stress during pregnancy and potential affects - and also what I can do to minimise.

I am having a very stressful time at work right now in that it's possible I will be made redundant three months out from mat leave (due in August).  I am waiting for my employer to give me some kind of detail - which they say is currently being ratified by HR & legal depts.  Every time I have a conversation with senior management about it (two full-on convos so far), baby kicks around quite alot afterwards.  This may be coincidental of course but it got me thinking.

The company knows my situation & I have made clear that putting me in this position is not good for my health, esp given my age & two early m/cs.

Obviously every individual handles stress differently so it's a hard one to have a definitive answer to.

Any thoughts ?

#2 opethmum

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:52 AM

I would consult a member of your union and give them the heads up. If they are making you redundant and no one else that is suspicious in my opinion. It is better go in to "that" meeting all guns blazing especially that you are pregnant and knowing your rights as a worker in that position. You may be able to negotiate a reasonable settlement if that is what you want.
I do hope that they cut you some slack and that the stress can be alleviated and quickly.
In the meantime I would seek some counselling to help you through this awful time or just keep talking to your DH and or close family member or friend to keep you sane through this.
hugs and I hope it gets better for you.

#3 ~Supernova~

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:52 AM

At uni we got told that stress during pregnancy can influence a babies temperament...

On a purely anecdotal level, when pregnant with DD I had little to no stress (my whole pregnancy was a breeze) and had a difficult, needy, and non sleeping screamer. With DS I had a HIGHLY stressful pregnancy, both from pregnancy complications and stuff going on in my personal life. Despite having reflux he is a very happy, placid baby who sleeps all night long lol.



#4 Lady Sybil Vimes

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:09 AM

I'm sorry you're going through this, I can understand why you'd worry. On a purely anecdotal level I had horrendously stressful time with work during my pregnancy including ongoing workplace bullying and a whole lot of management turmoil and and now have a happy, easy-going baby. I agree with the previous suggestion of accessing some counselling or similar to support you while you go through this. Do you have a mentor at work or a union delegate who could advise you? All the best, OP.

#5 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:15 AM

QUOTE (opethmum @ 13/04/2012, 09:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would consult a member of your union and give them the heads up. If they are making you redundant and no one else that is suspicious in my opinion. It is better go in to "that" meeting all guns blazing especially that you are pregnant and knowing your rights as a worker in that position. You may be able to negotiate a reasonable settlement if that is what you want.
I do hope that they cut you some slack and that the stress can be alleviated and quickly.
In the meantime I would seek some counselling to help you through this awful time or just keep talking to your DH and or close family member or friend to keep you sane through this.
hugs and I hope it gets better for you.

Thanks opethmum.
No union I'm afraid ! And certainly no mentor - this whole process has been very poorly managed (and I have let them know that).  

It's a senior director-level position and not under an award.  There are others being made redundant across different levels, so it's not just me.

I have made them very aware of the stress levels & I know they are concerned from a corporate perspective - I'm hoping I will be able to negotiate a settlement based on the three months between now & mat leave, 3 months mat leave, then some kind of compensation for not having a job to go back to.  But the process of them actually telling/discussing with me what's on the table is taking a long time.

I have also engaged initial legal advice on best approach, and if we get to the negotiating process, will probably have someone do that on my behalf.

It's the waiting that is killing me and stressing me.  I'm just hoping it doesn't last too long.  DH is brilliant at supporting, I'm not sure there's much more I can actually do at this point.  All I want is for our much longed-for baby to be happy & healthy.  


#6 Goggie

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:35 AM

OP, they sound like a large organization and therefore should have an employee assistance program (EAP) which should give you free counselling. Not from an employment law or rights perspective but to help you talk through the issues and how they are affecting you, along with some strategies to help reduce the stress you are feeling. Being in a position of uncertainty is hard at the best if times and just talking it through with someone impartial may be just what you need. Best wishes

#7 Pilar Palabundar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:03 AM

Hey Liltuss
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are having to go through this especially now.  I'm glad you've seeked legal advice, this is probably the best thing you could do, without sounding condescending - I know it's easier said than done, perhaps just let it go.  Be confident you have sound advice when it comes to the negotiating table and knowing you've done everything in your power to ensure you're not swindled out of your correct payout.  Remember deep breaths when you're feeling under pressure (walk away, get some fresh air) and don't forget the end goal of that beautiful baby soon to be here.... plus I'm sure you'll get another job when you are ready to head back into the workforce.

Best of luck, and take care of yourself.  

Pilarxx

#8 WinterIsComing

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:14 AM

I had a very stressful pregnancy, a combination of workplace conflict, personal issues and threatened preterm labour. Despite everything, DS was born very healthy, big, reasonably easy baby who is hitting all milestones well ahead. Anecdotal but perhaps encouraging to you.

#9 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:18 AM

QUOTE (tauruspregnant! @ 13/04/2012, 10:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OP, they sound like a large organization and therefore should have an employee assistance program (EAP) which should give you free counselling.

You're quite right taurus, there is a counselling service the company has contracted.  I actually used them during the TTC/IVF process & the counsellors were seriously hopeless ! (I've been to a few).  I have a great psych that I've been to in the past under the Medicare mental health plan & still have a few visits left under that so may try her.

Thankfully, I have all the tools etc I need to do my very best to manage the stress, it's a matter of applying them & hopefully minimising it.

#10 mez70

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:18 AM

It is one of those things increased stress level are best to be avoided but sometimes you just cannot help it. I know with my last Pregnancy my dad Stroke, then had a major septic infection on his foot leading to a Major op and Big Toe removed (poor circulation from stroke and other complications) so lengthy recovery, and then just when he had been discharged from respite he went on to have a heart attack (mild) and had a Pace Maker inserted so all up 3 major and life threatening illnesses between about 8 weeks and 28 weeks so as a result my stress levels were sky high, as I am an only child so managing dads care, sorting out his affairs, dealing with his work etc under POA, minding his dog etc. Then whilst dad was in Hosp I then had DS1 rushed to ED and admitted with pneumonia. You can get the picture. My OB knowing my history and what was going on kept a very close watch on me, I was on sleeping tablets very early on as I was not sleeping (at ob's suggestion)  

Strangely that bub is now my DS2 and is the most placid and easy going of all 3 of my kids.

With my first Pregnancy I had a stressfull situation at work that resulted me speaking to a relieving supervisor (mine was on leave) explain was going to leave that day though she mad a couple of calls and spoke to someone in my team who veriied all I had said but asked coupld I come in the Monday to "hand over" which I did. Left 6 weeks earlier than I was supposed to as I was having twins and struggling already and work just was not worth the risk to "them" Sometimes I have found yes you take a financial hit but walking away is better. Don't let them walk all over you but at the same time don't feel you have to fight like mad sometimes the middle ground or loosing out actually makes you the winner...


#11 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:23 AM

Thanks ladies, there are definitely some anecdotal stories here that provide comfort for me in that mummy stress doesn't always equal stressful bub, and vice versa.

The legal advice I have is from a good friend of DH's who's an IR barrister and he said ultimately you just don't want to go through with the angst of challenging anything - it's just too messy; and as mez said, walking away is usually a better option if it ultimately means happiness.  I'm confident they'll give me a decent level of compensation but the wheels turn so slowly within this large organisation, the waiting is just awful.  It's ironic they keep saying my health is number one priority yet it doesn't make the HR/Finance depts move any more quickly.

#12 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:26 AM

QUOTE (Pilar Palabundar @ 13/04/2012, 11:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey Liltuss
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are having to go through this especially now.  I'm glad you've seeked legal advice, this is probably the best thing you could do, without sounding condescending - I know it's easier said than done, perhaps just let it go.  Be confident you have sound advice when it comes to the negotiating table and knowing you've done everything in your power to ensure you're not swindled out of your correct payout.  Remember deep breaths when you're feeling under pressure (walk away, get some fresh air) and don't forget the end goal of that beautiful baby soon to be here.... plus I'm sure you'll get another job when you are ready to head back into the workforce.

Best of luck, and take care of yourself.  

Pilarxx

Thanks PP, you're a sweetheart.  I must say I do have concerns that when I re-enter the workforce I'll be 44 or so, and my industry is a 'young' one.  Part of my worry (and also one of the arguments I'll be putting to them in order to get a larger payout) is that I'll be out of the 'game' for 15 months or more, without a job to return to.

I had a conversation with my senior director just now & he's told me to take time off until the decision is made (if I want to).  I think swims, massages and some gentle exercise are in order.

Edited by Liltuss, 13 April 2012 - 11:27 AM.


#13 Goggie

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:31 AM

Sorry you didn't have a great experience with the company's eap. I used one several years ago and found them really helpful - but it all depends on who you get!

swims and massage sound like a plan in the meantime though:)

#14 Pilar Palabundar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:40 AM

QUOTE (Liltuss @ 13/04/2012, 11:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
he's told me to take time off until the decision is made (if I want to). I think swims, massages and some gentle exercise are in order.

Sounds like the plan Liltuss... enjoy it ! Prepare yourself for some soccer practice going on though...... your little one prefers you active doesn't he wink.gif

Edited by Pilar Palabundar, 13 April 2012 - 11:41 AM.


#15 opethmum

Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:38 PM

It does not really matter what level of management you are, you can still get union support should you see the need. Although it is an individual contract per se, you still can seek advice re: your redundancy options.
I really hope that you can get the maximum you deserve and that you can you can minimise the stress somewhat.
Good luck.



#16 Nobody Cool

Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:59 PM

...

Edited by AryaStar, 04 February 2013 - 06:19 PM.


#17 Cat Burglar

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:32 PM

Just personally I had HEAPS of stress while pregnant and I don't think it has affected DD. She is a very intelligent, nosey, highly strung, over active individual, but so am I.

The thing is that you can stress about being stressed so try not to worry about is this going to affect my baby etc. Remember that the human race has survived thousands of years of stressful situations like wars floods famines etc and healthy babies were born nonetheless.

If you can take up yoga or meditating or something that may be beneficial.

I hope things improve for you bbighug.gif

#18 Peggy Olson

Posted 13 April 2012 - 01:35 PM

I can relate to this. My first pregnancy was stressful. There was a lot of turmoil at my former workplace. We were suddenly being called in to financially justify our spending and our existence within the broader department and company while my supervisor was on paternity leave. I was doing a lot of shift work, so 50 hr plus weeks were the norm rather than the exception.
On top of this, our former landlord kicked us out for renovations while I was 7 months pregnant, so there was a lot of running around trying to find somewhere to live as well as juggling work stress and crazy shifts. I had an antepartum haemmorrage at 33 weeks the week we were to move house and was hospitalised for 3 nights. The only good thing about that was that I wound up work 2 weeks earlier than I would have. My section was terminated while I was on maternity leave. I received my redundancy the week I was due to return to work.

Despite a traumatic labour and a bit of feeding difficulty, my son was a very easy, chilled out baby.


#19 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (opethmum @ 13/04/2012, 12:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It does not really matter what level of management you are, you can still get union support should you see the need. Although it is an individual contract per se, you still can seek advice re: your redundancy options.
I really hope that you can get the maximum you deserve and that you can you can minimise the stress somewhat.
Good luck.

Without going into details, it's slightly more complicated than it seems in my not being a union member but in any case, I'm confident in what I will go in negotiating for - it's really trying to get through the waiting time that's hard.

#20 minidiamond

Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:16 PM

QUOTE (Soccer Mum @ 13/04/2012, 01:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just personally I had HEAPS of stress while pregnant and I don't think it has affected DD. She is a very intelligent, nosey, highly strung, over active individual, but so am I.

The thing is that you can stress about being stressed so try not to worry about is this going to affect my baby etc. Remember that the human race has survived thousands of years of stressful situations like wars floods famines etc and healthy babies were born nonetheless.

If you can take up yoga or meditating or something that may be beneficial.

I hope things improve for you bbighug.gif

Glad your DD is nosey and perky Soccer mum !! You're right about what our forefathers/mothers went through & I've said this more generally to DH on many occasions.  Our favourite quip is how I'll just have to go straight back to working in the fields with bub on my back the day after delivery.  But the reality is we are a spoilt generation so stress is relative !

I do prenatal yoga once a week on Sats so looking forward to that tomorrow.

#21 Guest_Starletta_*

Posted 13 April 2012 - 10:20 PM

Op I've been in intense stress ever since I peed on the stick!

I think I've asked my ob at very appointment about stress and pregnancy. He just makes sure my blood pressure is ok and encouraged us to learn some things to manage anxiety. It does help. I have short meditations on my iPhone which do help and I do yoga as well. Make sure you are getting enough sleep too, it can make a big difference to stress levels.

Good luck with everything original.gif




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

eBay jacket may hold clue to murdered girl's identity

A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.

New mum forced back to work early due to paid parental leave 'technicality'

Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".

Pregnant Amanda Palmer poses naked for book drive

It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.

The conception dilemma facing many parents today

Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.

The wedding photo the bridesmaid would rather forget

We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.

Pregnant TV meteorologist takes on haters

Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".

Honest words from first-time mums

I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.

Adorable baby experiences rain for the first time, couldn't be happier

Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.

What it's really like to start a family in your fifties

Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.

'Biggest hypocrite ever': Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account

An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.

Long recovery ahead for girl hit by car weeks after baby brother's death

A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.

How to react when a toddler lies

Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?

The circular experience of a Centrelink client

A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.

Kelly Clarkson announces live on stage: 'I'm pregnant!'

Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.

Hack

How to search the leaked Ashley Madison data

At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.

Mum dances her way through labour

There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.

'Rest in peace, my little lion': premmie baby Jacob passes away

Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.

Mum killed three young sons 'to help her daughter', prosecutor says

Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.

Shorter women have shorter pregnancies: study

When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.