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What makes you feel like you matter?

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#1 happy2bme

Posted 12 April 2012 - 10:40 PM

Just a bit of fluff!  

What do the people around you do to make you think you matter to them?  

Kinda feel that I don't matter to many but then I wondered if I was missing the "signs"??

#2 Caelani

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:10 PM

That's a hard one to answer!
I think that when people actively listen to you & follow up with questions a few days later (i.e. they remember you had a Drs apt or an interview and ask how it went) can show that you matter to someone.
But I most probably miss a lot of signs. It's not something I've really thought about, I guess Im more the type of person that would need to be told 'you matter to me' to actually think about it

#3 dessiesgirl

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:13 PM

My 15yo man-boy shuffling up the stairs to bed grunting "night mum, love you"

#4 Heffalump

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:23 PM

When they remember something that you mentioned off the cuff and they follow up later to find out if the issue has been sorted out. A friend did that for me today about a situation to do with my concern for a person that they don't particularly get on well with - it left me feeling all kinds of special that he cared enough to call me later to see what he could do to help if there had been no resolution.

As pp said - active listening = they listen, discuss salient points and follow up later.  Make eye contact if discussion is face to face.  

They don't trot out the old fall back of "you're not the only one to be going through xxx..."

They don't change the subject on you when you are talking about something that might be important to you but not so important to them, and actually encourage you to keep talking about your chosen topic even if it isn't directly relevant to them.

#5 Like a tiger

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:25 PM

When people acknowledge and appreciate the time it takes to do things for them. My biggest realisation recently been that I've recognised that a lot of friends seem to take my being there or doing things for them for granted. It makes me feel like they don't think my time is important. I think once I figured out what makes me feel like I don't matter made me more aware of the things that do make me feel like I do

#6 Honeymummy

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:29 PM

Everytime I look into my three little girls eyes - I know I matter.
Everytime I look into my husbands eyes - I know I matter.

The rest is not important.

#7 TwinkyBear

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:40 PM

Acts of service - so when my H does a load of washing, or cooks dinner, or mops the floor.  Anything that takes a load off me.  Thankfully, he's good in this respect.

When my children cuddle up to me, although if it happens enough it does make me a bit claustrophobic.

When my friends contact me to catch up as often as I contact them.  I don't like having to be the one to initiate all the time.

Colleagues, if they ask my opinion or comment on working too much or just saying good job.

#8 erindiv

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:47 PM

OH had just 6 nights off work before going back for 15 days (FIFO). He spent it all at my house instead of going home. When I came back from picking up the kids on the second last night he was cooking dinner.

He also puts up with my craziness. That says a lot. I'm a head case and a half. So I feel spesh just for that biggrin.gif

Edited by erindiv, 12 April 2012 - 11:48 PM.

#9 twinboys

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:47 PM

When I am thanked for giving my time as a volunteer....A simple "Thank you" goes a long way

I use to volunteer a lot in the last 3 years - but I have found 2 replacements to take over my role in the 'twin world'

Now I just volunteer at the school for reading - I love seeing my kids get excited about such a simple act!

#10 CourtesanNewton

Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:00 AM

When I walk into work, and actually get a "Oh, thank god you're here! We need another good person today"
When I go to CC to pick up DS and he turns around and his whole face just lights up when he sees me.
When we wake up in the morning and DH immediately pulls me into a cuddle original.gif

#11 just.peachy

Posted 13 April 2012 - 07:12 AM

This is a great question.

When my OH stops me from what i'm doing to give me a cuddle. He won't let me not cuddle him. That makes me feel like I matter!

When the children greet me at work with such enthusiasm and want to climb all over me as soon as I sit down. I love that. They are the best 'colleagues' a girl could ask for. ( I work in a day care )

When the parents of said children thank me for looking after their children, and tell me their children talk about me at home and on holidays etc. WOW! When i first got told this i welled up!

When people ask how are you......and then ask questions about what you've told them.

This is a nice, warm, fuzzy thread!

#12 Kay1

Posted 13 April 2012 - 07:30 AM

As pp said - active listening = they listen, discuss salient points and follow up later.

Yep this - and I have one very special friend who is always picking up little 'gifts' for me. Its not the fact that she gives me stuff - but that it shows she is thinking of me. wub.gif

I was so proud when we came home from a weekend away on the long weekend and DS1 (6 years) asked DH who had organised everything for our trip. DH said that I had done it all and DS1 said "Thank you for all that work Mum, that was the best holiday ever". original.gif

At the end of last year I got a school pen from the school - such a tiny and cheap gift but it meant the world to me because of the note the teacher wrote thanking me for my help throughout the year.

When the parents of said children thank me for looking after their children, and tell me their children talk about me at home and on holidays etc. WOW! When i first got told this i welled up!

That's lovely. original.gif I wrote DS2's carer a letter when we left the centre telling her that she was worth her weight in gold and that I thought she was perfect for her job. That her respect for the children was obvious and reflected in their reaction to her. I hope it meant a lot to her because I meant every word and she really was exceptional. original.gif

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