Jump to content

What makes you feel like you matter?


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 happy2bme

Posted 12 April 2012 - 10:40 PM

Just a bit of fluff!  

What do the people around you do to make you think you matter to them?  

Kinda feel that I don't matter to many but then I wondered if I was missing the "signs"??

#2 Caelani

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:10 PM

That's a hard one to answer!
I think that when people actively listen to you & follow up with questions a few days later (i.e. they remember you had a Drs apt or an interview and ask how it went) can show that you matter to someone.
But I most probably miss a lot of signs. It's not something I've really thought about, I guess Im more the type of person that would need to be told 'you matter to me' to actually think about it

#3 dessiesgirl

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:13 PM

My 15yo man-boy shuffling up the stairs to bed grunting "night mum, love you"



#4 Heffalump

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:23 PM

When they remember something that you mentioned off the cuff and they follow up later to find out if the issue has been sorted out. A friend did that for me today about a situation to do with my concern for a person that they don't particularly get on well with - it left me feeling all kinds of special that he cared enough to call me later to see what he could do to help if there had been no resolution.

As pp said - active listening = they listen, discuss salient points and follow up later.  Make eye contact if discussion is face to face.  

They don't trot out the old fall back of "you're not the only one to be going through xxx..."

They don't change the subject on you when you are talking about something that might be important to you but not so important to them, and actually encourage you to keep talking about your chosen topic even if it isn't directly relevant to them.

#5 Like a tiger

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:25 PM

When people acknowledge and appreciate the time it takes to do things for them. My biggest realisation recently been that I've recognised that a lot of friends seem to take my being there or doing things for them for granted. It makes me feel like they don't think my time is important. I think once I figured out what makes me feel like I don't matter made me more aware of the things that do make me feel like I do

#6 Honeymummy

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:29 PM

Everytime I look into my three little girls eyes - I know I matter.
Everytime I look into my husbands eyes - I know I matter.

The rest is not important.

#7 TwinkyBear

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:40 PM

Acts of service - so when my H does a load of washing, or cooks dinner, or mops the floor.  Anything that takes a load off me.  Thankfully, he's good in this respect.

When my children cuddle up to me, although if it happens enough it does make me a bit claustrophobic.

When my friends contact me to catch up as often as I contact them.  I don't like having to be the one to initiate all the time.

Colleagues, if they ask my opinion or comment on working too much or just saying good job.

#8 erindiv

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:47 PM

OH had just 6 nights off work before going back for 15 days (FIFO). He spent it all at my house instead of going home. When I came back from picking up the kids on the second last night he was cooking dinner.

He also puts up with my craziness. That says a lot. I'm a head case and a half. So I feel spesh just for that biggrin.gif

Edited by erindiv, 12 April 2012 - 11:48 PM.


#9 twinboys

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:47 PM

When I am thanked for giving my time as a volunteer....A simple "Thank you" goes a long way

I use to volunteer a lot in the last 3 years - but I have found 2 replacements to take over my role in the 'twin world'

Now I just volunteer at the school for reading - I love seeing my kids get excited about such a simple act!

#10 HandsOnNewton

Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:00 AM

When I walk into work, and actually get a "Oh, thank god you're here! We need another good person today"
When I go to CC to pick up DS and he turns around and his whole face just lights up when he sees me.
When we wake up in the morning and DH immediately pulls me into a cuddle original.gif

#11 just.peachy

Posted 13 April 2012 - 07:12 AM

This is a great question.

When my OH stops me from what i'm doing to give me a cuddle. He won't let me not cuddle him. That makes me feel like I matter!

When the children greet me at work with such enthusiasm and want to climb all over me as soon as I sit down. I love that. They are the best 'colleagues' a girl could ask for. ( I work in a day care )

When the parents of said children thank me for looking after their children, and tell me their children talk about me at home and on holidays etc. WOW! When i first got told this i welled up!

When people ask how are you......and then ask questions about what you've told them.

This is a nice, warm, fuzzy thread!

#12 Kay1

Posted 13 April 2012 - 07:30 AM

QUOTE
As pp said - active listening = they listen, discuss salient points and follow up later.


Yep this - and I have one very special friend who is always picking up little 'gifts' for me. Its not the fact that she gives me stuff - but that it shows she is thinking of me. wub.gif

I was so proud when we came home from a weekend away on the long weekend and DS1 (6 years) asked DH who had organised everything for our trip. DH said that I had done it all and DS1 said "Thank you for all that work Mum, that was the best holiday ever". original.gif

At the end of last year I got a school pen from the school - such a tiny and cheap gift but it meant the world to me because of the note the teacher wrote thanking me for my help throughout the year.

QUOTE
When the parents of said children thank me for looking after their children, and tell me their children talk about me at home and on holidays etc. WOW! When i first got told this i welled up!


That's lovely. original.gif I wrote DS2's carer a letter when we left the centre telling her that she was worth her weight in gold and that I thought she was perfect for her job. That her respect for the children was obvious and reflected in their reaction to her. I hope it meant a lot to her because I meant every word and she really was exceptional. original.gif




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

We can reduce gender inequality in housework – here’s how

Women shoulder the time-intensive and routine tasks - and they're also more likely to do the least enjoyable tasks like scrubbing the toilets versus washing the car.

Is it okay to reward children with food?

Does giving children food as a reward turn them into emotional eaters?

Exhausted mums share their 'sleepy selfies'

Two photos of mums have shown the world the physical impact of exhaustion in all its frazzled glory.

How to tell a million people: 'We're Having a Baby!'

Pregnancy announcement videos have become so popular they're becoming businesses all their own, with YouTube compilations, Pinterest pages and morning television segments.

The new family holiday: the maternitymoon

It's an idea that makes some people feel excited, while others shudder at the increased difficulty.

Mum's instinct busts hospital protocol

A terrifying car crash that left Danni Bett lying in hospital in a neck-brace wasn't enough to stop her from breastfeeding.

Mum shares pic of Gordon Ramsay's baby doppelganger

A Welsh couple have realised their newborn has a striking resemblance to a certain celebrity chef.

Photographer's charming photos of son's adventures with his toy truck

An adorable toddler and his toy truck in a photo series that'll melt your heart.

Do you hide your emotions from your kids?

I want my children to grow up and know it's okay to feel strong emotion and to display it. Vulnerability and imperfection do not equal weakness.

My in-laws snubbed our wedding

For your own husband's parents not to come to your wedding is an utter embarrassment.

Teenage boy has foetus removed from stomach

A teenage boy has undergone surgery to remove a foetus, complete with hair, legs, hands and genitals, removed from his stomach.

Your one-year-old is more creative than you might think

Even one-year-olds can be very exploratory, experimental and creative.

Researchers claim controlled crying 'does no harm'

The short and long term consequences of controlled crying are under the spotlight with new Australian research suggesting no harm results from the practice.

The pain of teething

If the tooth fairy takes teeth away, it must be something like a goblin who brings them in the first place.

Henry, 3, had a tummy ache. Within hours he was dead

Three-year-old Henry died in February this year, just a few hours after falling ill.

Husband shot obstetrician who saw wife naked

A Saudi man has been arrested after shooting the male obstetrician who delievered his baby because he was unhappy the doctor had seen his wife naked.

This 6-month-old just became 'the youngest water-skier'

First, baby Zyla tried her trick on cushy, beige carpet.

The bedtime bottle: will it really make your baby sleep?

How often have you been told "Just give your breastfed baby a bottle of formula at bedtime to make him sleep"? But does it work?

Why new mum Anne Hathaway cried at the gym

She might be a Hollywood superstar, but the gorgeous Anne Hathaway feels just as self-conscious as other new mums trying to get back in shape after having a baby.

An intimate story of infertility, told from a man's perspective

In a moving 3000-word Facebook post, Dan Majesky has shared a painful journey of infertility, with a big surprise at the end.

Does this photo offend you?

Facebook has come under fire after banning an ad featuring Tess Holliday, a plus-sized model, wearing a bikini.

Baby boy's birth filled with joy and sadness

It was a moment filled with joy but tinged with sadness. 

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.