Jump to content

What makes you feel like you matter?


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 happy2bme

Posted 12 April 2012 - 10:40 PM

Just a bit of fluff!  

What do the people around you do to make you think you matter to them?  

Kinda feel that I don't matter to many but then I wondered if I was missing the "signs"??

#2 Caelani

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:10 PM

That's a hard one to answer!
I think that when people actively listen to you & follow up with questions a few days later (i.e. they remember you had a Drs apt or an interview and ask how it went) can show that you matter to someone.
But I most probably miss a lot of signs. It's not something I've really thought about, I guess Im more the type of person that would need to be told 'you matter to me' to actually think about it

#3 dessiesgirl

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:13 PM

My 15yo man-boy shuffling up the stairs to bed grunting "night mum, love you"



#4 Heffalump

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:23 PM

When they remember something that you mentioned off the cuff and they follow up later to find out if the issue has been sorted out. A friend did that for me today about a situation to do with my concern for a person that they don't particularly get on well with - it left me feeling all kinds of special that he cared enough to call me later to see what he could do to help if there had been no resolution.

As pp said - active listening = they listen, discuss salient points and follow up later.  Make eye contact if discussion is face to face.  

They don't trot out the old fall back of "you're not the only one to be going through xxx..."

They don't change the subject on you when you are talking about something that might be important to you but not so important to them, and actually encourage you to keep talking about your chosen topic even if it isn't directly relevant to them.

#5 Like a tiger

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:25 PM

When people acknowledge and appreciate the time it takes to do things for them. My biggest realisation recently been that I've recognised that a lot of friends seem to take my being there or doing things for them for granted. It makes me feel like they don't think my time is important. I think once I figured out what makes me feel like I don't matter made me more aware of the things that do make me feel like I do

#6 Honeymummy

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:29 PM

Everytime I look into my three little girls eyes - I know I matter.
Everytime I look into my husbands eyes - I know I matter.

The rest is not important.

#7 TwinkyBear

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:40 PM

Acts of service - so when my H does a load of washing, or cooks dinner, or mops the floor.  Anything that takes a load off me.  Thankfully, he's good in this respect.

When my children cuddle up to me, although if it happens enough it does make me a bit claustrophobic.

When my friends contact me to catch up as often as I contact them.  I don't like having to be the one to initiate all the time.

Colleagues, if they ask my opinion or comment on working too much or just saying good job.

#8 erindiv

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:47 PM

OH had just 6 nights off work before going back for 15 days (FIFO). He spent it all at my house instead of going home. When I came back from picking up the kids on the second last night he was cooking dinner.

He also puts up with my craziness. That says a lot. I'm a head case and a half. So I feel spesh just for that biggrin.gif

Edited by erindiv, 12 April 2012 - 11:48 PM.


#9 twinboys

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:47 PM

When I am thanked for giving my time as a volunteer....A simple "Thank you" goes a long way

I use to volunteer a lot in the last 3 years - but I have found 2 replacements to take over my role in the 'twin world'

Now I just volunteer at the school for reading - I love seeing my kids get excited about such a simple act!

#10 PigNewton

Posted 13 April 2012 - 12:00 AM

When I walk into work, and actually get a "Oh, thank god you're here! We need another good person today"
When I go to CC to pick up DS and he turns around and his whole face just lights up when he sees me.
When we wake up in the morning and DH immediately pulls me into a cuddle original.gif

#11 just.peachy

Posted 13 April 2012 - 07:12 AM

This is a great question.

When my OH stops me from what i'm doing to give me a cuddle. He won't let me not cuddle him. That makes me feel like I matter!

When the children greet me at work with such enthusiasm and want to climb all over me as soon as I sit down. I love that. They are the best 'colleagues' a girl could ask for. ( I work in a day care )

When the parents of said children thank me for looking after their children, and tell me their children talk about me at home and on holidays etc. WOW! When i first got told this i welled up!

When people ask how are you......and then ask questions about what you've told them.

This is a nice, warm, fuzzy thread!

#12 Kay1

Posted 13 April 2012 - 07:30 AM

QUOTE
As pp said - active listening = they listen, discuss salient points and follow up later.


Yep this - and I have one very special friend who is always picking up little 'gifts' for me. Its not the fact that she gives me stuff - but that it shows she is thinking of me. wub.gif

I was so proud when we came home from a weekend away on the long weekend and DS1 (6 years) asked DH who had organised everything for our trip. DH said that I had done it all and DS1 said "Thank you for all that work Mum, that was the best holiday ever". original.gif

At the end of last year I got a school pen from the school - such a tiny and cheap gift but it meant the world to me because of the note the teacher wrote thanking me for my help throughout the year.

QUOTE
When the parents of said children thank me for looking after their children, and tell me their children talk about me at home and on holidays etc. WOW! When i first got told this i welled up!


That's lovely. original.gif I wrote DS2's carer a letter when we left the centre telling her that she was worth her weight in gold and that I thought she was perfect for her job. That her respect for the children was obvious and reflected in their reaction to her. I hope it meant a lot to her because I meant every word and she really was exceptional. original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'Tired' mum dies of undiagnosed diabetes

New mum Nicky Rigby thought her exhaustion was due to the demands of looking after her baby. But the 26-year-old was seriously ill with diabetes, and died due to her condition not being diagnosed.

20 signs of a great relationship

The secret to a perfect relationship is admitting you are wrong after an argument, five kisses a day and sex twice a week, a new survey suggests.

Video: emotional 60-second Robin Williams tribute

Take a minute to remember some of the greatest films of your childhood ... and have a few tissues close at hand.

The realities of escaping domestic violence

?Why doesn?t she just leave?? is the common question people ask when trying to understand domestic violence. For many, leaving the relationship is far from straightforward.

Home truths: the DIY dos and don'ts

A professional renovator gives advice on which jobs you should do yourself, and which you should outsource.

Parenting lessons I?ve yet to learn

Instead of writing about the stuff I do know since becoming a mum, I thought I'd share some of the things I don't. These are the lessons that motherhood hasn't taught me.

Will I be wrecked 'down there' after birth?

Did you worry about how you would look "down there" after giving birth? This mum-to-be found plenty of women willing to share their knowledge.

The new weekend playgroup for working mums

Playgroups are great for kids and parents alike - but the downside is that they often meet during the week, leaving working mums out of the loop.

Letting your toddler be the boss at bedtime

Sick of spending hours trying to get your toddler to sleep? These experts say giving your child more of a say at bedtime might be the answer.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

Consulting 'Dr Google' when you're pregnant

We're all guilty of turning to the internet for a quick answer when we need medical advice, but Dr Google should be approached with caution - especially when you're pregnant.

16 ways to tie a scarf

Scarfs are the perfect winter accessory. Whether you're freezing at soccer training or wanting to add a splash of colour to a monochrome top, the right scarf will sort you out in no time. Just ask Nina Proudman.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

The simple way to support other parents

We may be raising children of different ages and sexes, with different personalities, but we, as parents, aren't that different - we all have similar struggles, fears, doubts, responsibilities.

Seeing the big picture when it comes to parenting

Sometimes it feels like hundreds of tiny cracks are spreading across the surface of our lives, creeping slowly into the foundations and threatening to make them crumble. How do we hold it all together?

How to spot a lactaboobiephobia sufferer

Lactation consultant Meg Nagle refused to stay silent when Facebook removed two photos of her breastfeeding. Instead, she coined a term to describe those who don't recognise breastfeeding for the natural and non-sexual act that it is.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. Others, like these 10 weird habits, crop up again and again.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.