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The Endurance Team #33
165 replies to this topic
Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:11 AM
Now excuse my ignorance but what does GOLD, SILVER, mean....
MishJ these are my stats?
Enduring since: TTCIVF Nov2010
The facts: Apparently I have elevated NK Cells, CD57. Diagnosed myself with a thin lining. DH has MFI. Seeing a RI who is dealing with my immune issues. Just recently did ivig with no luck. 7 unsuccessful transfers. Not quite sure when this journey will end successfully.
The fact of the matter is I just dont get, I dont understand, I dont know why! Others just fall pregnant at the drop of a hat and gloat about it. So unfair.
Hope everyone has a great day, and everyone is looking after themselves. Sometimes i take a step back and think my life really aint that bad compared to others... But why does it feel like it is most of the time!
Posted 12 April 2012 - 01:45 PM
Zoe I will let you have the silver but I will claim BRONZE!
It is just the first , second , third posts in a new thread
Mish I realised i havent added myself to the list so please add:
Age: 30... 31 next week!
enduring since: January 2011
The facts: No facts! All tests done and all clear for everything. Unexplained.
IVF possibly in May.
hoping I hear what you say about IVF and really hoping it works first time. I think I will be devastated if it doesn't. I hope that because we have no issues identified it will work, but you just never know. And I know the dangers of getting my hopes up. I just don't think we can afford to do it too many times over.
I still have hope that this month will be a success naturally and we won't need to do it, but it is only a little hope... surely it would have happened already if it was going to happen naturally.
zoelicious nothing about TTC is fair. the worst part for me is not knowing anyone in my real life who has struggled. Not my mum, not any of my sisters in law, not any of my friends (though only one close friend has started having kids and she is one of those ppl who falls pg just thinking about it).
will be back later, as I should do some work. Have an FS appt next Wednesday to talk about IVF next cycle, so fingers crossed we don't have to wait for any reason.
Posted 12 April 2012 - 01:51 PM
Zoe - What did the immune guy say about your last cycle? I so hope you got a rundown of what happened...
And, I don't get it either! Although I have always thought at the very back of my mind for years before TTC that I would have trouble - instinct hey!
Pee'd off this arvo - I suddenly have zero signs of O... spose that lets me of BD tonight, sorry to say but thats great!
Posted 12 April 2012 - 04:10 PM
Satay - even before DH I use to say I know I am going to have to go to IVF as I just know I will have issues.
Given yesterdays doom & gloom appt on anything natural ever happening I really dont feel like BDing at the moment but DH still wants to try natural. I think I am going to ovulate earlier than cd16 so just keeping an eye on it. I suppose I will have to "give in" tonight as such.
Girls I dont want to sound like the gloom master but just dont get all your hopes up and make your first IVF the be all and end all of cycles. I have now done 4 cycles of IVF and still no closer to anything happening. I never went into my first cycle with all hope though as I knew we were in it for the long haul, I just had a feeling. Sure it does work first go, there have been girls in here who have shown that and as I have said before every single person I know in real life who does IVF gets it first go, its just that you need to work out how you are going to cope with it not working as its not guaranteed.
Posted 12 April 2012 - 05:15 PM
Good afternoon ladies...
I concur with the whole "gut" feeling about having issues TTC. I always had a feeling from the time i was 15 or so, that I would have issues. I never thought it would be my husband. However, i've never fallen pregnant and we can't do it on our own, so I could still have further issues on my part when we finally get a donor.
We've been on the waitlist for about 5 weeks now, i'm getting impatient. Everytime I get an email I hurridly check what it is, just incase its the magic "you're almost at the top of the list book in another counselling session" at least then I will feel like we're doing something. I had a bit of a hissy fit the other night about how this is our only chance... we don't get to try a few things before to see if it will happen, we have to do IVF and we have to use a donor, and if that doesn't work then what next. I think i'm panicking about IVF not working in general and then we're up sh*t creek without a paddle.
I have become such a spiteful person, Dh's sister is pregnant, we've kept our distance and just been waiting for the "its boy/girl" text to come. Apparently they find out the sex next week, part of me is really hoping its a boy, she has two boys already, the first she absolutely adores, the second she suffered depression through her pregnancy and afterwards because it was a boy and he gets left out of things a lot and almost forgotten about. She really wants a girl, if this one is a girl, then the second will be left out of everything and not cared abotu and Its his wellbeing i'm worried about in the long term. If she has another boy, it serves her right for pushign to have a girl. I don't wish depression on anyone, but I really want her to suffer because she kept pushign for a third child. Is it wrong for me to think that? Also if she has a girl then that will be favoured by DH's parents, and regardless of what we get (if any) they will probably not care about ours (they are also in another state).Am i being selfish?
Posted 12 April 2012 - 07:22 PM
I've been seriously slacking off and not posting - I've had to trawl through around 10 pages of the old thread to see where we're all at.
Seems like we're all having a pretty awful time at the moment
Mish - I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I can relate - mum was diagnosed with breast cancer 11 years ago. It was caught early so she's made a full recovery. Glad to hear her heart is ok. Take care.
leebec - so sorry to hear about your mum's friend - what a tragedy. Hope you're feeling a bit better. Yes, I agree with you on the whole 'hoping the first ivf cycle will work' thing. I went into my first cycle thinking of it as a trial run - not expecting it to work. Even though I was totally not expecting it to work, I was still terribly disappointed when it didn't work.
Daisy - OMG hun, how many more set backs do you have to endure??? I am so sorry to hear what happened, hope you're doing ok.
Mags - sorry to see that you've had to join us, but welcome and hope you're not here for too long.
Satay - sorry to read that af show up on the same day as your new nephew. Glad to hear you were ok when you met him. You know, it is different when the baby is your niece/nephew as opposed to a friends baby. Well, after I had a few days for the news of my new nephew to sink in, I ended up sending a lovely flower arrangement to their house. We're planning to visit them one weekend (they're interstate). Mum's heading over in a few weeks' time and sil is demanding she have the whooping cough vax. Mum is not staying at their house and she's only going to be there like 2 days! Thought about starting a thread in the general boards, but I'm terrified I'll be flamed!
Yay for Vegas!!
Welcome big blue, alana, lainey, zoe and pennyslane!
Hoping - you've been on the pill the last couple of weeks, no? Same here! Looks like we may be cycle buddies Has your fs told you when you're starting injections?
AFM - been on the pill for around 2 1/2 weeks now, just started the synarel nasal spray this morning. Jeez, it's vile stuff! Leaves the worst taste in your mouth Even after eating something, it doesn't quite go away. I have to have the spray for the next 3 weeks!
I also collected the whole array of drugs for this cycle - puregon, ovidrel, crinone and of course, synarel. DH & I drove home feeling pretty deflated, like a 'here we go again'. Since we're not likely to produce many frosties, I was toying with the idea of doing a 4th stim cycle (I originally decided my limit would be 3 + any frozen transfers), but, after the nurse visit and drug collection, 3 was definitely the limit! If this doesn't work, we're going to go to Hawaii for a much needed holiday and then return for one final roll of the dice.
To be honest, I'm now at the point where I really don't care if we have kids or not. I just want to get on with my life. We've had a glimpse into a childless lifestyle and we've proven it isn't the end of the world for us if it comes to this.
I know most of you have not even considered living child free so I don't mean to put a downer on things. It's just my mindset at the moment.
Hope you all have a great night...
Posted 12 April 2012 - 07:26 PM
Not having fun with the list going to redo in another post
Edited by Mish*J, 13 April 2012 - 04:57 PM.
Posted 12 April 2012 - 09:12 PM
Yay Friday is almost here, i cant wait til the weekend, im so over this.
amyc yay - excellent so i claim silver.
satay - i have an appointment with RI on the 10th of June. He wants to have a consult with me before I do another FET. which is fine by me, as i need a break from the steroids and the migraines! ill PM you as promised xx
emso - gut feeling hey. i get them every time i do a cycle. i always know its a BFN, so much so that i even start weaning myself of the meds before i even get to the blood test!
leebec, - i hear you. every woman i know gets it on the first go as well, i feel like posting a note on my forehead befriend me only if you are going to fall pregnant. Harsh but true, and it sux badly.
Scruff - Hawaii sounds great. I know you have heard this time and time again (i should listen to my own advice some time), try not to give up hope. Sometimes miracles do happen. We just need to keep going at it...
Since my BFN on Saturday i have been moping around with slouched shoulders and thinking to myself why, why, why. I have no tears left. I cant even manage a smile on my face any more, i cant even look at myself in the mirror, the person i see in there is not me.
Seriously us women, we must be stronger than we think we are, courageous, brave women.
I hope we all get our wish one day, it is just so unfair. Hi to everyone else i missed.
Edited by zoelicious, 12 April 2012 - 09:13 PM.
Posted 12 April 2012 - 09:33 PM
Hi all...almost the weekend again !
MishJ Ė here are my little stats for the list!
Enduring since: February 2011
The facts: Just started getting results back, found out today I donít ovulate. DH so far so good.
Just had our first FS appointment today after some tests req. by our GPÖ and my gut feeling was right, I donít ovulate, or at least very often. I told DH this before we went in that I was convinced that was the reason, given my BBT stays at the coverline often and Iím very irregular. So in some ways I feel good to know that it can potentially be easy fixed, but I still have to undergo a series of other things to check the rest, Iím sure you know the drill... Has anyone had a baseline ultrasound, is it really.. well, unpleasant? Any tips?! Iím no prude by any means.. but I said many times, you know I will have AF on day 2 right??!! Perhaps wishful thinking they would say Ďoh you canít come in then..íhmm!!
Zoelicious Ė I definitely get what you mean about sometimes having to remind yourself life isnít bad compared to others, I find myself *trying* to think that way too J
Leebec Ė sorry to hear about your loss over Easter, thoughts are with you x.
Thanks to all for the warm welcome x.
Posted 13 April 2012 - 11:56 AM
Question for all who have done IVF / are doing IVF: what excuse did you use to get out of work for the clinic visits / procedures etc?
I have already used dr appt as an excuse a couple of times for my HyCoSy and FS appt and think my boss already suspects that I'm pregnant. I do not want to tell him I'm going to do IVF. On the egg retrieval and embryo transfer days I will probably just call in sick, and for brief visits to the clinic that will be fine as its around the corner from work, I'm trying to think of an excuse for next Friday morning when I have the nurse coordinators appt which will take about an hour, its at 9:30 and prob not worth going in to work beforehand so will just come in at about 11, but need a reason why. Will have to think of a family emergency or something. I'm not telling anyone at work.
pennyslane at least you know now that you're not ovulating and can do something to fix it. The pelvic ultrasound is not really pleasant and a little uncomfortable, but not too bad and quite interesting to see your insides on the screen! When I went for the first one I was expecting just an ultrasound like pg ppl get, with the gel on the stomach and freaked out a bit when they said they had to do an internal one as I wasn't prepared for that! it can be reassuring though.
zoelicious I've been like that many times after a BFN. It's so crushing, takes me a day or two to get back up again, sometimes longer. I think I've become numb to it after so many months but each month I can't help being upset again.
leebec I know I shouldnt pin too many hopes on first time IVF and I'm trying not to think that that will be it. I have to think positive though, as all our tests have been normal so I don't know what the hurdle is, and hoping IVF will be just what we need. I'm grateful that I'm feeling positive about it because a couple months ago, IVF scared the hell out of me and I hoped I'd never get here.
Anyway sorry for long post!
Posted 13 April 2012 - 02:25 PM
Ahhh internal ultrasounds I dont even think about them anymore as that is the only type of ultrasound I have been having for the last 18 months - I had my first when pregnant with our little angel and have been having them that way ever since. It doesnt hurt etc I guess its just the thought of it.
I was the same with the embryo transfer. It was the one thing I was freaked out about but it doesnt hurt and I just dont think about it anymore.
As far as telling work, they know all about my situation. They cant not know when originally I was pregnant and because it was not a good pregnancy and we ended up loosing bub I pretty much had 5 weeks off work because of it. My fertility treatment pretty much started 2 months after that with my first visit to the FS and then from there.
I need the girls at work to back me up for work with my boss and I always take from the day after trigger until the day after transfer off work, so I end up having about 6 days off work or so....When you include weekends, on my last transfer I had from the Tuesday to the following Wednesday off and went back Thursday.....I just take it as a combo of annual & sick leave. Will do the same for my next cycle which will be a new Fresh cycle but wont be till at least June because of further testing.
Posted 13 April 2012 - 04:58 PM
"When you get to the top ofthe mountain, keep climbing."
Welcome to the Endurance Team! We are a group of ladies who have been doing thehard yards while waiting for our first miracles. Most of us have been tryingfor 12 months or more and we have been through every up and down imaginable. Ifyou have endured this journey far longer and harder than you ever intended, youare most welcome here for support, a shoulder and most importantly, hope.
Name: Satay Chicken
Enduring Since: On my 22 cycle
The Facts : Currently doing final testing
Presumed NK cell / implantation issues
Enduring Since: April 2010
The Facts: Lap : May 2011 Endo and cyst removed
DF: Low Sperm Count - Abnormal
Currently under FS at RWH in Melbnext
First IVF: May 12
Name: Eyes (eyesabove)
Enduring Since:May 2009
Starting clomid any day now
Enduring since: September 2009
Lap September 2011, some endo found and removed, but has left scarring
FS recommends IVF- Maybe in 2012?
Trying a natural and holistic approach for the next 6 months
Name: Ali (Ali88)
Enduring Since:July 2010
The Facts: Lap - Nov 2009 Endo (mild) removed
Otherwise, both DH & I "normal"
Acupuncture/Herbs since June 2011
FS appointment booked for 31.01.2012, not sure what I hope to gain from it....
Enduring since: April 2010
HyCoSy identified uterine polyp, but no other issues.
lap in July. No endo. Polyp removed. DH all clear.
Age: 32 (in Nov)
Enduring Since: Aug 2008
The Facts: No reason for inferility. HYCOSY showed all clear. DH has good spermcount.
3rd round of clomid 100mg, will give 1 more month to try and the IVF clinicappointment mid March.
Enduring since: February 2010
The Facts: Lap August 2011; cyst and endo removed. high-ish FSH, lowprogesterone, AMH 8.8
DH: low morphology (2%)
Initially did not want to pursue any form of AC, fortunately, 5 months later,had a change of heart and will give IVF a crack.
IVF/ICSI - Feb 2012
Enduring since: September 2010
The Facts: diagnosed PCOS after MMC. 6 months OI. 1 round IVF and 1 round ofIVF ICSI. 7 frozen from that round. FET #1 Jan 2012 - 2 embies back in.
Age: 34 DH: 34
Enduring since: August 2010
Unexplained infertility. First FS appointment Oct 2011.
Polypectomy December 2011. IVF#1 May 2012
Enduring Since: Jan 2011
The Facts (thus far)
Me low ovarian reserve
DP low sperm count and motility and high abnormality
TTC Since - Dec 2010
The Facts -
Not really any to speak of so far. Just about to start the journey with thedoctors testing and then FS. No medical reason that we know of so far.
Enduring since: Dec 2010
The Facts: Dh has no sperm. Me AMH of 7. back to FS feb 6th. Need testicularbiopsy for DH and IVF simultaneously. Hoping for sperm to be found. IVF tobegin in Mar 2012
Name: PennysLane - Sarah
Enduring since: February 2011
The facts: Just started getting results back, found out today I don't ovulate.DH so far so good
Enduring since: mid 2008
The facts: first FS missed the problems despite lap/hysteroscopy - fibroids andendometriosis finally removed Feb 2012, mild PCOS
Starting tracking cycle end May after a few weeks away
Age: 30... 31 next week!
enduring since: January 2011
The facts: No facts! All tests done and all clear for everything. Unexplained.
IVF possibly in May.
Enduring since: TTCIVF Nov2010
The facts: Apparently I have elevated NK Cells, CD57. Diagnosed myself with athin lining. DH has MFI. Seeing a RI who is dealing with my immune issues. Justrecently did ivig with no luck. 7 unsuccessful transfers. Not quite sure whenthis journey will end successfully.
Enduring Since: December 2010
The Facts: Several ovarian cysts, nothing to say why we aren't pregnant yet!
Waiting until June 2012 before we see a FS
Name - Alana Banana
Age - 30
Enduring Since - August 2010
The Facts - Low AMH level of 2.1, Angel Baby January 2012,
IVF #1 Cxxld Mid cycle as only 2 eggs,
currently doing IVF cycle number 2 - grow little eggies grow
Friends of the Family (taking time out)
Name: Betts (bettinae)
Ards - Little Boy Noah
Edited by Mish*J, 24 April 2012 - 04:01 PM.
Posted 13 April 2012 - 05:16 PM
Stupid Bloody List wasn't working properly. Wasn't formatting for me. Anyway, its as good as it is going to get for now. Sorry.
Scruff - Good Luck with everything. I also said a limit of 3 as well, who knows if I will change my mind when I get there.
Zoe - This is such a ride of emotions isn't it. I hope you are feeling better today. Thinking of you.
Pennyslane - Thanks I have added you to the list. Sorry about the test results but at least you know what it is and can be helped. Oh and I like to call the ultrasound - dilbo cam.....it doesn't hurt just uncomfortable.
Amy - I have told work about my situation, as i don't work in the city and need time off if I have to go to appointments, they are pretty good about it but I am still trying to work it around them. It was lucky that my bosses friends had gone through it and he kinda of knew what happened.
AFM: Well unfortunately the test results came back for my mother today and it confirmed breast cancer, what a ride of emotions. The Breast Nurse also said for me to continue the IVF and the radiation treatment that mum will be on once the surgery has taken place will not effect me at all. Had to ask. So just another hurdle to get over and through. As I explained earlier, I am an only child and my father died years ago, so its all me but thankfully my DH is a tower of strength at the moment and his mum is taking my mum to one of her pre op appointments next week to help me, as I don't know what time I will need off myself for the IVF. Her surgery is scheduled for the 2nd May.....So I should be just starting my first lot of needles by then. Ho Hum at least it might take my mind off the IVF. Anyway, sorry if I missed anyone and apologise for taking a big post.
Posted 13 April 2012 - 06:11 PM
OH man I've missed so much of your chitter chatter, didn't know the other thread was closed and a new one had started!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 13 April 2012 - 08:09 PM
Hey Mich! So sorry you are having to go through this when IVF is already so emotionally full on... I so hope you get some good news in the coming weeks with your mum when everything settles down after her surgery.
Take care matey, thinking of you. x
Edited by Satay chicken, 13 April 2012 - 08:12 PM.
Posted 14 April 2012 - 10:11 AM
Oh Mish, I'm so sorry that you have so much on your plate, it's such a difficult situation to be in thoughts and prayers for you and yours.
Total 'me' post:
I keep dropping in and out of this thread, sorry. Had a heart to heart chat with Mr Mags last night and let him know that I'm just a tad disappointed with how he's approaching TTC. He has this habit of fanatically researching everything about anything he's remotely interested in. Except TTC when he's the one continually saying 'let's have a baby'. He's done nothing, he pays no attention to the things I tell him about timing and TTC. He's pushing for BDing 3 weeks out of the month, yep, you guessed it - the week he's not interested is O week. I have no idea how he's managing to do that every month but he does. Every. single. month.
I was seriously expecting him to hit google and find out absolute random but incredibly useful/useless factoids about TTC - foods, exercise, seasons, anything and everything. I was really relying on him to do that because that's what he does. I was expecting him to be a partner in this.
But no. Instead I'm hearing totally and utterly useless factoids about a car he's purchased, how this option is standard in Europe and/or NZ but not in Oz, why that option is important and that other one is not, how the dealer phoned and let him know that option a isn't allowed with option b and he's ticked both. It's a fricken car!! We're trying to have a baby! A baby! It requires input and attention from him. If I could do it without him, I bl00dy would have by now (and yes Mr Mags, I would have timed it so that I was 9 months PG in autumn/winter, or at the start of the 3 month summer break at uni, but you what? I don't have that discretionary option).
His well considered input last night: "I think we're just missing the relevant times." You think!!!
*deep breath in, deep breath out*
Posted 14 April 2012 - 02:10 PM
Hi Mags and Satay...thanks for your words, its going to be a tough time but we will get there. <3
Mags - As for you, give him a quick slap to the side of the head with Fertitly for Dummies and tell him to sit down and read it.
My DH was the same in some ways, he once told me when I told him today was the day, he couldn't be bothered and said to me, what are you trying to tell me, you only O once a month........hmmmmmm yep. I had to sit down and really explain it to him. They also handle the emotions differently, he didn't say anything to me in this long journey and then one weekend, when playing with our friends kids, got really quiet and upset said to me that it was getting him down. I just hope that from my end he is taking this IVF seriously and looking at all angles.
I hope that it gets better Mags and he comes around. Otherwise get a whole heap of birds to crap on his new car....lol. Hope I am not being too harsh.
Posted 14 April 2012 - 06:37 PM
Mish I think it's very generous of you. A thump up side the head with a thick book might be just the thing for him. If it doesn't work I'll have to seek the crapping abilities of some friendly neighbourhood bats who have demonstrated truly exceptional aim with regard to his car.
Posted 15 April 2012 - 07:04 PM
Mish - So sorry to hear your mums results weren't good but am really glad you are still going to proceed with IVF. Ur mum would want you to continue on your baby journey. I know it isn't the best timing but I truly believe you are given only what you can handle and you must be one tough cookie xxxxx Keep us posted with both your mum and you xxxxx
HAHAHA I think I need the Dummies guide for my hubby too. He really tries to understand but I lose his attention when I start talking about blood LOL
Mags - wouldn't it be easier if you knew what your hubby was thinking. It'd make life a little easier. A swift slap around the ears might do just as well LOL Although I'm glad you had a chat, its sometimes needed to get your feelings to the surface so you don't start to harbour any ill feelings.
MEN .... if we didn't love or need them so much, they wouldn't be required LOL
Leebec - I agree with what you said about internal ultrasounds, they are just normal practise now. I hope my question about first time IVF attempts didn't hurt your feelings. I'm genuinely sh*tting myself and I know its not gonna work first time and that I should just be dissapointed from now but I can't help to have a teeny tiny bit of hope that its my turn.
Amy - is your boss not someone you can tell? I'm only starting the process but I told my boss so he didn't think I was becoming a bad worker and that all the time off was for a good reason and they I would make up any time I could. I have annual leave and sick leave but I still felt like I had to tell him. Plus I don't know how hormonal I'm going to be with all the drugs so I wanted to give him the heads up incase I bit anyones heads off.
Totally your desision but I would just say you have a specialists appointment, its NO ones business.
Penny - As I mentioned above to Leebec, ultrasounds aren't too bad, its just normal. So are you going to try clomid?
Zoe - I hope your doing ok?
Scruff - Yep been on the pill for a month now, had to wait for hubbys sperm tests to come back and because of Easter it was delayed, I haven't been told yet when I am starting the whole process, I have a FS appointment tomorrow arvo, so I will know more then, be super cool if we are cycle buddies. I'm not using the Snarel spray, was a little concern y clinic doesn't use it but its ok.
Hawaii sounds like a fantastic back up plan but I'm sorry you aren't going to need it, keep positive. I'm hoping your next trip will be a babymoon xxxxx
Emso - I hope your doing ok too?
I know what you mean when you say you've become a spitful person, its just not far everyone else is getting what they want with little effort. You aren't being selfish, you are allowed to have your feelings, seriously though, its not gonna matter whether you have a boy or girl, its going to be loved to the max by you and your hubby and they are special to you both, who cares about anyone else. Having said all that though, I desperately want a girl but all my friends have girls and if we had a boy we would be the only one, that would be special.
Satay - did you end up having O over the weekend? Frustrating when the body doesn't do what its supposed to, What is the Clexane you are taking? Is it like Clomid? I didn't have the same insticts, I honestly naively thought that because I am awesome with kids that I would be blessed with a bunch of my own, how wrong I was.
AFM - got FS appointment tomorrow, to talk IVF and when we can start. I'm day 7 tomorrow so I'm guess it won't be till AF arrives, bloody more waiting. Will know more tomorrow arvo. Had a great weekend but god its gone slow, I just want tomorrows appointment to be here so we know when?!?!?!? Will come in and update more then
Sorry for the massive post again .... dissapointed they opened up another thread but let some of us still chat in the old one. Crazy we can't keep just 1 thread.
Hi to everyone, looking but not posting, don't be shy, you don't have to do a mammoth post like me to keep track of everyone, its ok to be selfish and just post about yourselves, we are all here for support (of coarse only speaking for myself, but I don't want my huge posts to scare people away )
Posted 16 April 2012 - 08:50 AM
Hi all. I am one of those guilty of looking not posting. I have been hella busy work-wise so not much personal life to report on. I start the Provera tomorrow CD19 and that's it we're underway for IVF.
I, too, never could picture myself pregnant growing up, but I never thought it would be this hard. And like many others here, I had hoped it wouldn't come to this. That said, I am happy to know I'm going to get more answers at the end of the first cycle about why I've never been pregnant. I have very little hope that IVF will work when I've never even had a hint of pregnancy or any idea of what was wrong - I know I'm supposed to feel positive but I just don't. DH tells me to buck up as we probably have a better chance than many of those who have known probs, but I just can't feel that way in my guts. Not trying to be a downer, just slightly unbelieving.
So that's the attitude I have going into all this. I hope I can be a lesson in what not to do...
Mish - hope things are ok with you and your mum, you seem like a pretty tough chicky. And it's great we are still going to be IVF buds. Anyone else starting up around now?
I guess I should update my list thing (I am another year older after all):
Age: 34 DH: 34
Enduring since: August 2010
Unexplained infertility. First FS appointment Oct 2011. Polypectomy December 2011. IVF#1 May 2012.
Hoping, Mags, emso, Satay, leebs, scruff, amy, penny, zoe, and anyone missed,
Posted 16 April 2012 - 09:10 AM
Hi to the beautiful ET. I'm sorry that there are still so many people here
I just thought that I would pop in and say hi. I have read a little of the thread and just want to give hugs to all of you, especially my long-term buddies Satay, Mia, Mish, emso, hoping, bigwoo, Mags, Leebs, scruff, ali, skoki... many hugs to you all!
A quick update from me, I'm still around EB, but I haven't been reading/posting in the TTC threads, because its just too much for me to take in at the moment. My sibling is having chemo, which hasn't been going as well as hoped, and I can't get my head around them not being here for our future baby's life. Its made TTC hard to contemplate. Especially because they can't have children because of the drugs, and they can't even plan a future together. It makes me feel so shallow when I get disgruntled with what I have, a healthy, wonderful DH and an awesome life...
Having said that, we have been clomid-ing in the background for a while, which is working but not working if you know what I mean. We are stepping up the OI for a while and seeing how that goes. I'm still not sure I can cope with IVF... and the decision gets closer each month, but I thankfully don't have to make it yet.
Sending much love and positive energy to the entire ET. Take time to relax, look after yourselves and get outside in to the fresh air to clear your head. I am trying to do that every day and it really helps.
Hoping the next time I pop in it will be to a much smaller thread!
Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:14 AM
hoping good luck for yours FS appt today - bugger that you will prob have to wait till next cycle. Looks like quite a few of us in this group will be doing IVF at the same time. At least you will have another chance to fall naturally before then. I have a slim hope this month will be it, and won't need it, but it is a very very slim hope.
I don't feel comfortable telling my boss, as 1) he is a male and 2) he thinks this is the "most fertile office" in the world, as we have a high number of pg women, and always 2 or 3 pregnant, and I don't think he knows anyone who has struggled. I just don't want to put myself out there like that as I don't think he would understand. I also don't want anyone at work including him asking how its going or if I've had success yet. In contrast at a former job, I had a female boss who had been through IVF and had three miscarraiges before a healthy pregnancy (this was well before I was TTC) and I wouldn't have hesitated to confide in her. Think I will just go with the specialist appt or dentist appt as no one can question that!
I also never thought I'd have problems getting pregnant - I always thought it would be fairly easy, as I've never had any issues and always been 'average' in everything - guess God is teaching me a lesson.
Bigwoo good luck with IVF this month - we will probably be going through it abotu the same time. I am the same as you - unexplained - and hoping we have a good chance but trying to be realistic.
eyes welcome back, so sorry to hear about your sibling. It puts everything in perspective doesn't it.
mish I hope everything goes as well as possible with your mum's treatment. I think its great you go through with IVF. Be easy on yourself and good luck. I will prob be going through it at the same time as you so hang around.
be back later, have FS appt on Wed and nurse coord appt on Friday which will prob be quite overwhelming. DH is away all week too. Also my birthday on Thursday - 31... blergh. Such a nothing birthday! Do not even feel like celebrating this year.
Posted 16 April 2012 - 02:38 PM
Thank you everyone for your well wishes to my mother and I, everyone everywhere has shown great support to us and it is truly amazing. I think it has even taken my mind off the whole TTC/IVF thing.
Amy - its a shame that you don't think your boss would understand, but you have to do what you feel comfortable with. Looks like there might be 3 of us going through it at the same time......
Eyes - welcome back and so sorry to hear about the treatment for your sibling not going to plan, it does put things into prospective but I have taken something from the Cancer Counsellor and they said, "your story is not their story" , every story is different and everyone has different problems. I wish you every luck for the coming months with both journeys.
Bigwoo - I have updated the list for you, I get very down at certain times and I think we need to feel every emotion at times to process it all. It's a coping mechanism that we develop. I hope you feel better soon and I will send positive thoughts your way and hopefully we will be cycle buddies.
Hoping - Don't worry about the massive post. Thank you for your words.
Mags - hope I didn't offend, it was meant to be lighthearted. I said to my cousin the other day, my DH knows more about my cycle then he really needs to know... :/
AFM: so the count down is on for Monday, the Counsellor, Nurse and Accountant appointments have been booked. They just rang me to confirm and ask where the police checks were, I told them that I sent them on Thursday, so they should be there today at the latest. Hope so. I am getting a little bit excited, stupid but I am.
Mum is doing okay with surgery booked for the 2nd May, but she seems to have pulled herself out of the hole and going great guns. She is going back to work tomorrow until the surgery. So I commend her.
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