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2yo biter starting at daycare


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#1 Mummyjane24

Posted 11 April 2012 - 12:54 PM

Hi all,
I have twin boys who have just turned 2 and are starting daycare 1 day a week. My problem is that one of the boys bites his 3yo sister and twin brother when he becomes really frustrated. If this happens whilst he's at daycare and he bites another child what will happen? I am aware that I could be confronted by another parent but I have informed the Childcare Centre of this behaviour and they weren't phased by it. Are there alot of biters out there? I have no control over his biting when he's at daycare. At home he gets time out and reprimanded as well as having to apologise to his siblings. It doesn't happen unless he is seriously frustrated or over-excited. I am a little nervous. What have been your experiences?

#2 bubmakes3

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:03 PM

My DS has also just turned 2 and he has also just starting biting when frustrated or angry. It is usually myself and occasionally DH who cops it and he is removed immediatly (put down or take my hand away if we are holding hands)and made to apologise.
He has biten twice at daycare in the last month and again it is when he is frustrated - waiting for his turn and someone pushes in etc. The staff are aware and watch him now and remove him if its an escalating situation. He was also biten him last week and was quite shocked I think - he continued to say 'ow my arm Mummy' and rub or point at the mark for a couple of days afterwards - hopefully this will help with his own biting but I am not sure yet!
The staff insist its common and a result of inability to communicate wants and needs etc. We try and install the same techniques that they use and hope its a phase that will pass.

I hope your twins enjoy daycare!

#3 Leha

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:06 PM

My DS is a biter. He also pulls hair, hits and scratches. I was very concerned as when I took him last year before he started to get him used to the kindy he bit another child after only being there for 20 minutes.

I spoke to all of his teachers and they have never been worried telling me it is very common. Since he started there  has been quite a few incidents but he is getting better. They discipline him by removing him from the situation  and telling him no which is what I do as well.  I think just make sure you keep talking to his teachers, be consistent in telling him off for the biting and you should be ok.



#4 PurpleChicken

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:13 PM

My 21 mo DD is a biter.  She's bitten a few times, and they generally just remove her from the class and get her doing other things for a while to let her know it's not on.

She's also been bitten quite a bit at DC.  They never say which child did the biting, but just that they've informed the parents.  This saves parents confronting other parents over the issue.

As long as they know he's a biter they can keep an eye on him and watch for the signs.

#5 amesv

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:23 PM

[/size]My DS was a biter from 1 -3 years old, I started him atoccasional care when he was 2 as I thought it might help to socialise withother children and be disciplined by others too. The day care workers were veryunderstanding I don't think biting is really common but common enough theyweren't surprised by it and knew how to deal with it. I always had to sign aform informing me I was told my son had bit and the details leading up to thebite, and I believe the parent of the child my son bit had to do the same.

[size="3"]


#6 galitayia

Posted 23 April 2012 - 01:04 AM

I TO HAVE A BITER HAIRPULLER SCRATCHER AND SPITER HE IS ABOUT TO START DAYCARE FOR THE SECOND TIME TOMORROW BUT DONT WISH FOR HIM TO HAVE A BAD DAY BUT A REALLY GOOD DAY ..I HAVE NO-IDEA HOW TO STOP THIS AS HIS NOT AN ONLY CHILD HE HAS A OLDER BROTHER AND TWO OLDER SISTER'S ONLY ONE OF MY GIRL'S BITES .. IM IN NEED LIKE EVERYONE ELES ON SOMEHOW GETTING HELP OR ADVICE ON HOW TO STOP THIS !!! unsure.gif

#7 Lightning_bug

Posted 23 April 2012 - 01:52 AM

OP, most children go through the biting stage and unless it's chronic and he doesn't respond to the carer's intervention I wouldn't be concerned.

In our case when it happens we get an incident report sent home.  That's about it.  Most parents are understanding that it does happen and only get concern or upset if it goes on for a long period.

Trust the carers.  They have strategies and intervention techniques which they can put into place.  

OP, how is your little one's communication skills?  This could be off topic but with my son he had horrible frustration at that age so we taught him some basic sign language.  It made a world of difference.

#8 trishalishous

Posted 23 April 2012 - 02:05 AM

One of our friends sons does this, but the CC just reinforce gentle touching (hes in the baby room until june) and keep him away from the little ones.

#9 Bluenomi

Posted 23 April 2012 - 10:24 AM

We have a bite at daycare and DD is his favourite target  mad.gif He's not the best talker and gets bored easily so he either bites because he's bored and wants some attention or because he's angry and can't express it. They are working on it but it's been going on for over a year and he still does it. I can't wait for him to leave at the end of the year and leave DD in peace!

Both parents have to sign an incident report (seperate ones) and they aren't allowed to tell the parent who bit their kid. DD dobs him in though so I know who it is. Some of the other parents really don't like it and actually tell their kids to stay away from him.

#10 tazcan

Posted 23 April 2012 - 10:46 AM

QUOTE
Most parents are understanding that it does happen and only get concern or upset if it goes on for a long period.


I don't think most parents are understanding when their child is bitten!  The daycare won't tell the parent who bit their child but with DD I always found out because she was talking well at 2 and told me who bit her. I wouldn't have confronted the parent about it (and I'm sure doing so would be against the daycare's rules), but it still made me very cross and concerned. She was once bitten on the face and if the bite had been a tiny bit harder she would have had a scar in the shape of teeth on her cheek forever. It just takes one bad bite for a scar, and I imagine being bitten is extremely painful.

At least you have warned the daycare and hoepfully they can intervene and keep an eye on your DS, particularly if he's getting frustrated.

#11 ubermum

Posted 23 April 2012 - 10:54 AM

It depends who he bites. If it's KylieMinOgues kid, it could start another EB hissy fit. wink.gif

#12 Catmummy

Posted 23 April 2012 - 11:00 AM

My son went through the biting stage. I am under the impression most children do it. He bit me hard enough to draw blood a couple of times, and we had one incident at daycare where he bit a little girl, however the next week he was bitten himself. In the end he was bitten more often than he bit someone else.

I didn't flip out, I understand that's what children do, however some mothers get really unreasonable when their child is bitten in such a situation.

He'll grow out of it, I promise OP

#13 tazcan

Posted 23 April 2012 - 11:37 AM

QUOTE
I am under the impression most children do it


I don't think most children bite but it is common enough - probably one child in a room of 20 would bite (as a statistic), at least that is what I have observed. If a child is bitten they might start to bite back in retaliation. One little girl was always biting my DD at daycare. DD had never bitten anyone, but one day the girl bit her (for about the 10th time in a period of a few weeks) and DD turned around and bit her back - that was the last time she bit DD. (and secretly I was very pleased DD had bitten her back, which is bad of me, but at least it stopped the problem).

Edited by tazcan, 23 April 2012 - 11:39 AM.


#14 Xander2

Posted 23 April 2012 - 11:44 AM

My DS has been the 'bite-ee' and also the 'biter' at his daycare.  I had to sign an incident form both times as did the other parents.  it's a phase they go through (he's 3 now and doesn't do it anymore, only lasted about 3 or 4 months I think) It's frustration in most cases not being able to express themselves properly.

My DD (15 months) hasn't started biting yet (although she has been bitten at daycare) but I'm sure her turn will come.

Good luck OP  original.gif

#15 Lightning_bug

Posted 23 April 2012 - 08:14 PM

QUOTE (tazcan @ 23/04/2012, 10:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't think most parents are understanding when their child is bitten!


I'm not suggesting they like it.  Not the Kumbaya-style understanding but more the gritting your teeth and accepting it happens.  Once or twice.  Basically, they're not about to come running with pitch-forks.

If you hadn't been understanding you would have confronted the other parent, or worse still the child.  

If biting was a recurrent thing I'd be more angry with the child care facility for not dealing with the issue appropriately.  When DS went through his stage our CC facility was fantastic.  They organised a meeting with us; gave us some tactics so we were on the same page at home and; they took a detailed diary of DS's day to identify triggers.

A good CC has training to deal with the issue.  If they didn't, I'd be looking elsewhere.




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