Jump to content

Stupid thing men think about pregnancy
that they learn from other men


  • Please log in to reply
93 replies to this topic

#1 follies

Posted 11 April 2012 - 09:57 AM

I would like to start by adding the disclaimer that my partner is usually very smart and had been very well educated, a little lacking in common sense sometimes but he can hold an intelligent conversation so I am not so bothered when he spends an hour looking for car keys that are in his pocket.

Up to now I been under to impression he has been actively researching labour from accredited sources, that was until he said this:

Him: "Hopefully you will have stitches"

Me: "Excuse me, but why would I want stitches?"

Him: "Because they tighten you back up down there"

huh.gif

He looked so upset when I explained the real purpose of stitches and now I have to go through everything with him as childless men in their 30's that still play Xbox are not as educated in childbirth as my partner thought they were.

#2 strawberrycakes

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:00 AM

LOL Oh dear original.gif

#3 new~mum~reenie

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:01 AM

biggrin.gif

The stories that go round the 'playground' hahaha


#4 minidiamond

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:05 AM

Suggest the doc might be able to perform a penile extension while he's got the instruments at the ready ?

I'm 42 and there's heeeeeaps I don't know about childbirth so an Xbox playing man in his 30s has every reason to be excused on alot of things.  But did he actually believe that the medical world colluded to collectively say 'oh well, while I'm down there we might as well tighten her up a bit, eh ? Nudge nudge, wink wink' ....

#5 vitaechel

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:08 AM

QUOTE (Liltuss @ 11/04/2012, 10:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But did he actually believe that the medical world colluded to collectively say 'oh well, while I'm down there we might as well tighten her up a bit, eh ? Nudge nudge, wink wink' ....


roll2.gif That is priceless! hehehe

#6 HeroOfCanton

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:15 AM

I read on here once that a husband requested that the doctor/nurse "put in an extra stitch for good measure"...
The doctor/nurse replied with "why? do you have a small penis?"
biggrin.gif

Edited by *Browncoat*, 11 April 2012 - 10:15 AM.


#7 heffalumpsnwoozles

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:23 AM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 11/04/2012, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I read on here once that a husband requested that the doctor/nurse "put in an extra stitch for good measure"...
The doctor/nurse replied with "why? do you have a small penis?"

laughing2.gif  Love that nurse.

My DH seriously thought that we would get pregnant as soon as I went off the pill. He had it drummed into him at school that pregnancy can occur just from having unprotected sex once, so he assumed it actually would. This is a tertiary educated man who was dux of his school.

#8 katpaws

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:29 AM

One midwife told me the story of a husband who asked - while his wife was delivering the baby - when they could have sex again.

She told him "after the placenta comes out".



#9 kadoodle

Posted 11 April 2012 - 11:00 AM

One of my BILs was worried that baby would drown if my SIL had a bath.

DH insisted on playing the Essendon FC theme song all the bloody time so that he could be assured of Bomber-supporting offspring.

#10 Alacritous~Andy

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:21 PM

My DH was horrified at our antenatal classes when he found out about the possibility of tearing during the birth (and the instructor going through the various grades of tears, 1st degree etc).  He went white and said, "I thought it was supposed to stretch?"  He didn't realise that there could be any damage done during the birth.

#11 mum201

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:30 PM

QUOTE (Alacritous~Andy @ 11/04/2012, 01:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH was horrified at our antenatal classes when he found out about the possibility of tearing during the birth (and the instructor going through the various grades of tears, 1st degree etc).  He went white and said, "I thought it was supposed to stretch?"  He didn't realise that there could be any damage done during the birth.


Hilarious!

#12 LambChop

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:33 PM

My exDH thought his penis would bang the baby in the head if we had sex ...  wacko.gif

#13 follies

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:36 PM

QUOTE (LambChop @ 11/04/2012, 01:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My exDH thought his penis would bang the baby in the head if we had sex ...  wacko.gif


Someone was overestimating his masculinity.



#14 MummaDiva

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:51 PM

The midwife handed my DH the cord clamp, and he went to throw it in the bin.  He thought it was a bit of rubbish that she'd plucked out of her pocket that she wanted thrown away!
Then, when he finally got through the ritualistic daddy bits and bobs (cut the cord, hold the baby etc), he came out with "You'd think they'd have a few more staff on, rather than rely on us blokes to do all the work."


#15 KristyMum-

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:19 PM

laughing2.gif oh there's some funnies in this thread!

mind you, I know someone (female) who couldn't figure out why they couldn't get pregnant.  I asked her if they were DTD on or around the time of ovulation.  'What's ovulation?' she says... I explain.  ohhh... she says, I feel really ick around that time so we don't DTD then LOL
subsequently after our chat next cycle almost, she was pregnant lol

#16 Feraladaye

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:25 PM

My DH didn't believe I was really pregnant until a visit to the doctor.

The home pregnancy test must have just been for shizzles?

He kept saying 'lets just wait and see what the doctor says.'

#17 GamerMum

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:27 PM

Faradye - DF was exactly the same. Three pregnancy tests, and a blood test later he still decided he wasn't convinced until the first ultrasound! Tounge1.gif

#18 CountryFeral

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:34 PM

QUOTE (Faradaye @ 11/04/2012, 04:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH didn't believe I was really pregnant until a visit to the doctor.

The home pregnancy test must have just been for shizzles?

He kept saying 'lets just wait and see what the doctor says.'


Same... we'd done IVF too!

Sadly he was less prepared for the chance of losing the pregnancy - when I stopped him from telling the world he was getting quite grumpy - when we lost the baby and had just one person to 'untell' (my darling friend) he sobbed in my arms and said "Now I understand... "

I think he had just had the image of having to have that conversation with all the people he was so keen to crow our happy news to (crying in front of his fellow firemen for example..)



#19 suzy-c

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:37 PM

Mine did that too. 3 dark BFP's and he said he would only believe the test at the doctor's office. I said that was also a urine test, using exactly the same technology, but he was unmoved. At the doctor's office, I showed doc my BFP and had to make him give me another test, as the doc said it was unnecessary.

At 11 weeks, I now have a small cricket ball-like lump rising from behind my pubic bone (ie: my uterus, feelable when I'm lying down,) but DP will NOT feel it. He says he doesn't want to hurt the baby.



#20 Lim Lam

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:39 PM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 11/04/2012, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I read on here once that a husband requested that the doctor/nurse "put in an extra stitch for good measure"...
The doctor/nurse replied with "why? do you have a small penis?"
biggrin.gif


That is just AWESOME!!! roll2.gif  roll2.gif  roll2.gif

#21 follies

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:52 PM

Love hearing all the stories, makes me feel a little better about the man's ignorance.

I shouldn't have been too surprised, years ago he told me as I was skinny I would probably need a cesarean.

#22 wallofdodo

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:00 PM

My story is similar to countrymels.

Not prepared for anything to go wrong, wanted to tell everyone. Then he unfortunately he understood. After a discussion with a midwife he was completely blown away with the miscarriage rate. He said 'Why don't people talk about it'. Because it is hard was my response.


#23 shoopdeboop

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:14 PM

QUOTE (Faradaye @ 11/04/2012, 05:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH didn't believe I was really pregnant until a visit to the doctor.

The home pregnancy test must have just been for shizzles?

He kept saying 'lets just wait and see what the doctor says.'



Similar except I had been to the dr's already!! At 6 weeks I was complaining to my husband how sick I felt and that the feeling didn't go away at all. He replied that I'm barely even pregnant yet (and so shouldn't be complaining about feeling sick!) I had already had a dr confirm my pregnancy but as he is yet to see a bump he doesn't comprehend it really being in there and thinks I should have no symptoms.
I had to explain to him that by the time we can actually see the evidence my body should be used to it being there and I should be feeling better......

#24 mum201

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:22 PM

A female friend of mine who was pregnant (and highly educated) thought her baby was growing in her stomach ......

#25 Hooray Henry

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:46 PM

QUOTE (KristyMum- @ 11/04/2012, 04:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
mind you, I know someone (female) who couldn't figure out why they couldn't get pregnant.  I asked her if they were DTD on or around the time of ovulation.  'What's ovulation?' she says... I explain.  ohhh... she says, I feel really ick around that time so we don't DTD then LOL
subsequently after our chat next cycle almost, she was pregnant lol



I had a similar conversation with my SISTER.  They were DTD by the cycles of the moon trying for a girl.  She was very surprised, as was my BIL, when DH & I explained that actually DTD around ovulation was more likely to result in a pregnancy, they didn't think it made a difference  rolleyes.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Christina Aguilera announces daughter's name

Christina Aguilera and her fiance, Matt Rutler, have welcomed their daughter into the world.

Couple caught in surrogacy crackdown

An Australian couple caught up in Thailand's surrogacy crackdown have said many parents are distraught and facing dire financial difficulties as are they are unable to bring their surrogate-born babies home.

'Tired' mum dies of undiagnosed diabetes

New mum Nicky Rigby thought her exhaustion was due to the demands of looking after her baby. But the 26-year-old was seriously ill with diabetes, and died due to her condition not being diagnosed.

5 co-sleeping myths busted

In case you are co-sleeping with your baby, and all the ?helpful? advice from others is sending you down the slippery slope of self-doubt, let?s bust a few myths on the topic.

When pregnancy takes you down memory lane

One mum-to-be discovers pregnancy hormones can give rise to some surprising emotions.

What?s your love language?

The secret to making your partner feel special is to know which language of love they favour ? and it?s the same for your kids, too.

Returning to exercise after a caesarean

I had my daughter four months ago via caesarean, and I want to get back into exercise. What are some good first steps I can take?

20 signs of a great relationship

The secret to a perfect relationship is admitting you are wrong after an argument, five kisses a day and sex twice a week, a new survey suggests.

Video: emotional 60-second Robin Williams tribute

Take a minute to remember some of the greatest films of your childhood ... and have a few tissues close at hand.

The realities of escaping domestic violence

?Why doesn?t she just leave?? is the common question people ask when trying to understand domestic violence. For many, leaving the relationship is far from straightforward.

Home truths: the DIY dos and don'ts

A professional renovator gives advice on which jobs you should do yourself, and which you should outsource.

Parenting lessons I?ve yet to learn

Instead of writing about the stuff I do know since becoming a mum, I thought I'd share some of the things I don't. These are the lessons that motherhood hasn't taught me.

Will I be wrecked 'down there' after birth?

Did you worry about how you would look "down there" after giving birth? This mum-to-be found plenty of women willing to share their knowledge.

The new weekend playgroup for working mums

Playgroups are great for kids and parents alike - but the downside is that they often meet during the week, leaving working mums out of the loop.

Letting your toddler be the boss at bedtime

Sick of spending hours trying to get your toddler to sleep? These experts say giving your child more of a say at bedtime might be the answer.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

Consulting 'Dr Google' when you're pregnant

We're all guilty of turning to the internet for a quick answer when we need medical advice, but Dr Google should be approached with caution - especially when you're pregnant.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

Chinese manufacturers tap into the cute factor with tree-grown babies.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.