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Stupid thing men think about pregnancy
that they learn from other men


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#1 follies

Posted 11 April 2012 - 09:57 AM

I would like to start by adding the disclaimer that my partner is usually very smart and had been very well educated, a little lacking in common sense sometimes but he can hold an intelligent conversation so I am not so bothered when he spends an hour looking for car keys that are in his pocket.

Up to now I been under to impression he has been actively researching labour from accredited sources, that was until he said this:

Him: "Hopefully you will have stitches"

Me: "Excuse me, but why would I want stitches?"

Him: "Because they tighten you back up down there"

huh.gif

He looked so upset when I explained the real purpose of stitches and now I have to go through everything with him as childless men in their 30's that still play Xbox are not as educated in childbirth as my partner thought they were.

#2 strawberrycakes

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:00 AM

LOL Oh dear original.gif

#3 new~mum~reenie

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:01 AM

biggrin.gif

The stories that go round the 'playground' hahaha


#4 minidiamond

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:05 AM

Suggest the doc might be able to perform a penile extension while he's got the instruments at the ready ?

I'm 42 and there's heeeeeaps I don't know about childbirth so an Xbox playing man in his 30s has every reason to be excused on alot of things.  But did he actually believe that the medical world colluded to collectively say 'oh well, while I'm down there we might as well tighten her up a bit, eh ? Nudge nudge, wink wink' ....

#5 vitaechel

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:08 AM

QUOTE (Liltuss @ 11/04/2012, 10:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But did he actually believe that the medical world colluded to collectively say 'oh well, while I'm down there we might as well tighten her up a bit, eh ? Nudge nudge, wink wink' ....


roll2.gif That is priceless! hehehe

#6 HeroOfCanton

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:15 AM

I read on here once that a husband requested that the doctor/nurse "put in an extra stitch for good measure"...
The doctor/nurse replied with "why? do you have a small penis?"
biggrin.gif

Edited by *Browncoat*, 11 April 2012 - 10:15 AM.


#7 heffalumpsnwoozles

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:23 AM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 11/04/2012, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I read on here once that a husband requested that the doctor/nurse "put in an extra stitch for good measure"...
The doctor/nurse replied with "why? do you have a small penis?"

laughing2.gif  Love that nurse.

My DH seriously thought that we would get pregnant as soon as I went off the pill. He had it drummed into him at school that pregnancy can occur just from having unprotected sex once, so he assumed it actually would. This is a tertiary educated man who was dux of his school.

#8 katpaws

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:29 AM

One midwife told me the story of a husband who asked - while his wife was delivering the baby - when they could have sex again.

She told him "after the placenta comes out".



#9 kadoodle

Posted 11 April 2012 - 11:00 AM

One of my BILs was worried that baby would drown if my SIL had a bath.

DH insisted on playing the Essendon FC theme song all the bloody time so that he could be assured of Bomber-supporting offspring.

#10 Alacritous~Andy

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:21 PM

My DH was horrified at our antenatal classes when he found out about the possibility of tearing during the birth (and the instructor going through the various grades of tears, 1st degree etc).  He went white and said, "I thought it was supposed to stretch?"  He didn't realise that there could be any damage done during the birth.

#11 mum201

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:30 PM

QUOTE (Alacritous~Andy @ 11/04/2012, 01:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH was horrified at our antenatal classes when he found out about the possibility of tearing during the birth (and the instructor going through the various grades of tears, 1st degree etc).  He went white and said, "I thought it was supposed to stretch?"  He didn't realise that there could be any damage done during the birth.


Hilarious!

#12 LambChop

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:33 PM

My exDH thought his penis would bang the baby in the head if we had sex ...  wacko.gif

#13 follies

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:36 PM

QUOTE (LambChop @ 11/04/2012, 01:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My exDH thought his penis would bang the baby in the head if we had sex ...  wacko.gif


Someone was overestimating his masculinity.



#14 MummaDiva

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:51 PM

The midwife handed my DH the cord clamp, and he went to throw it in the bin.  He thought it was a bit of rubbish that she'd plucked out of her pocket that she wanted thrown away!
Then, when he finally got through the ritualistic daddy bits and bobs (cut the cord, hold the baby etc), he came out with "You'd think they'd have a few more staff on, rather than rely on us blokes to do all the work."


#15 KristyMum-

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:19 PM

laughing2.gif oh there's some funnies in this thread!

mind you, I know someone (female) who couldn't figure out why they couldn't get pregnant.  I asked her if they were DTD on or around the time of ovulation.  'What's ovulation?' she says... I explain.  ohhh... she says, I feel really ick around that time so we don't DTD then LOL
subsequently after our chat next cycle almost, she was pregnant lol

#16 Faradaye

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:25 PM

My DH didn't believe I was really pregnant until a visit to the doctor.

The home pregnancy test must have just been for shizzles?

He kept saying 'lets just wait and see what the doctor says.'

#17 GamerMum

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:27 PM

Faradye - DF was exactly the same. Three pregnancy tests, and a blood test later he still decided he wasn't convinced until the first ultrasound! Tounge1.gif

#18 CountryFeral

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:34 PM

QUOTE (Faradaye @ 11/04/2012, 04:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH didn't believe I was really pregnant until a visit to the doctor.

The home pregnancy test must have just been for shizzles?

He kept saying 'lets just wait and see what the doctor says.'


Same... we'd done IVF too!

Sadly he was less prepared for the chance of losing the pregnancy - when I stopped him from telling the world he was getting quite grumpy - when we lost the baby and had just one person to 'untell' (my darling friend) he sobbed in my arms and said "Now I understand... "

I think he had just had the image of having to have that conversation with all the people he was so keen to crow our happy news to (crying in front of his fellow firemen for example..)



#19 suzy-c

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:37 PM

Mine did that too. 3 dark BFP's and he said he would only believe the test at the doctor's office. I said that was also a urine test, using exactly the same technology, but he was unmoved. At the doctor's office, I showed doc my BFP and had to make him give me another test, as the doc said it was unnecessary.

At 11 weeks, I now have a small cricket ball-like lump rising from behind my pubic bone (ie: my uterus, feelable when I'm lying down,) but DP will NOT feel it. He says he doesn't want to hurt the baby.



#20 Lim Lam

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:39 PM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 11/04/2012, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I read on here once that a husband requested that the doctor/nurse "put in an extra stitch for good measure"...
The doctor/nurse replied with "why? do you have a small penis?"
biggrin.gif


That is just AWESOME!!! roll2.gif  roll2.gif  roll2.gif

#21 follies

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:52 PM

Love hearing all the stories, makes me feel a little better about the man's ignorance.

I shouldn't have been too surprised, years ago he told me as I was skinny I would probably need a cesarean.

#22 wallofdodo

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:00 PM

My story is similar to countrymels.

Not prepared for anything to go wrong, wanted to tell everyone. Then he unfortunately he understood. After a discussion with a midwife he was completely blown away with the miscarriage rate. He said 'Why don't people talk about it'. Because it is hard was my response.


#23 shoopdeboop

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:14 PM

QUOTE (Faradaye @ 11/04/2012, 05:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH didn't believe I was really pregnant until a visit to the doctor.

The home pregnancy test must have just been for shizzles?

He kept saying 'lets just wait and see what the doctor says.'



Similar except I had been to the dr's already!! At 6 weeks I was complaining to my husband how sick I felt and that the feeling didn't go away at all. He replied that I'm barely even pregnant yet (and so shouldn't be complaining about feeling sick!) I had already had a dr confirm my pregnancy but as he is yet to see a bump he doesn't comprehend it really being in there and thinks I should have no symptoms.
I had to explain to him that by the time we can actually see the evidence my body should be used to it being there and I should be feeling better......

#24 mum201

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:22 PM

A female friend of mine who was pregnant (and highly educated) thought her baby was growing in her stomach ......

#25 Hooray Henry

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:46 PM

QUOTE (KristyMum- @ 11/04/2012, 04:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
mind you, I know someone (female) who couldn't figure out why they couldn't get pregnant.  I asked her if they were DTD on or around the time of ovulation.  'What's ovulation?' she says... I explain.  ohhh... she says, I feel really ick around that time so we don't DTD then LOL
subsequently after our chat next cycle almost, she was pregnant lol



I had a similar conversation with my SISTER.  They were DTD by the cycles of the moon trying for a girl.  She was very surprised, as was my BIL, when DH & I explained that actually DTD around ovulation was more likely to result in a pregnancy, they didn't think it made a difference  rolleyes.gif




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