Jump to content

Stupid thing men think about pregnancy
that they learn from other men


  • Please log in to reply
93 replies to this topic

#1 follies

Posted 11 April 2012 - 09:57 AM

I would like to start by adding the disclaimer that my partner is usually very smart and had been very well educated, a little lacking in common sense sometimes but he can hold an intelligent conversation so I am not so bothered when he spends an hour looking for car keys that are in his pocket.

Up to now I been under to impression he has been actively researching labour from accredited sources, that was until he said this:

Him: "Hopefully you will have stitches"

Me: "Excuse me, but why would I want stitches?"

Him: "Because they tighten you back up down there"

huh.gif

He looked so upset when I explained the real purpose of stitches and now I have to go through everything with him as childless men in their 30's that still play Xbox are not as educated in childbirth as my partner thought they were.

#2 strawberrycakes

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:00 AM

LOL Oh dear original.gif

#3 new~mum~reenie

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:01 AM

biggrin.gif

The stories that go round the 'playground' hahaha


#4 minidiamond

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:05 AM

Suggest the doc might be able to perform a penile extension while he's got the instruments at the ready ?

I'm 42 and there's heeeeeaps I don't know about childbirth so an Xbox playing man in his 30s has every reason to be excused on alot of things.  But did he actually believe that the medical world colluded to collectively say 'oh well, while I'm down there we might as well tighten her up a bit, eh ? Nudge nudge, wink wink' ....

#5 Praetor VitaeChel

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:08 AM

QUOTE (Liltuss @ 11/04/2012, 10:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But did he actually believe that the medical world colluded to collectively say 'oh well, while I'm down there we might as well tighten her up a bit, eh ? Nudge nudge, wink wink' ....


roll2.gif That is priceless! hehehe

#6 HeroOfCanton

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:15 AM

I read on here once that a husband requested that the doctor/nurse "put in an extra stitch for good measure"...
The doctor/nurse replied with "why? do you have a small penis?"
biggrin.gif

Edited by *Browncoat*, 11 April 2012 - 10:15 AM.


#7 heffalumpsnwoozles

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:23 AM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 11/04/2012, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I read on here once that a husband requested that the doctor/nurse "put in an extra stitch for good measure"...
The doctor/nurse replied with "why? do you have a small penis?"

laughing2.gif  Love that nurse.

My DH seriously thought that we would get pregnant as soon as I went off the pill. He had it drummed into him at school that pregnancy can occur just from having unprotected sex once, so he assumed it actually would. This is a tertiary educated man who was dux of his school.

#8 katpaws

Posted 11 April 2012 - 10:29 AM

One midwife told me the story of a husband who asked - while his wife was delivering the baby - when they could have sex again.

She told him "after the placenta comes out".



#9 kadoodle

Posted 11 April 2012 - 11:00 AM

One of my BILs was worried that baby would drown if my SIL had a bath.

DH insisted on playing the Essendon FC theme song all the bloody time so that he could be assured of Bomber-supporting offspring.

#10 Alacritous~Andy

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:21 PM

My DH was horrified at our antenatal classes when he found out about the possibility of tearing during the birth (and the instructor going through the various grades of tears, 1st degree etc).  He went white and said, "I thought it was supposed to stretch?"  He didn't realise that there could be any damage done during the birth.

#11 mum201

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:30 PM

QUOTE (Alacritous~Andy @ 11/04/2012, 01:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH was horrified at our antenatal classes when he found out about the possibility of tearing during the birth (and the instructor going through the various grades of tears, 1st degree etc).  He went white and said, "I thought it was supposed to stretch?"  He didn't realise that there could be any damage done during the birth.


Hilarious!

#12 LambChop

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:33 PM

My exDH thought his penis would bang the baby in the head if we had sex ...  wacko.gif

#13 follies

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:36 PM

QUOTE (LambChop @ 11/04/2012, 01:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My exDH thought his penis would bang the baby in the head if we had sex ...  wacko.gif


Someone was overestimating his masculinity.



#14 MummaDiva

Posted 11 April 2012 - 01:51 PM

The midwife handed my DH the cord clamp, and he went to throw it in the bin.  He thought it was a bit of rubbish that she'd plucked out of her pocket that she wanted thrown away!
Then, when he finally got through the ritualistic daddy bits and bobs (cut the cord, hold the baby etc), he came out with "You'd think they'd have a few more staff on, rather than rely on us blokes to do all the work."


#15 KristyMum-

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:19 PM

laughing2.gif oh there's some funnies in this thread!

mind you, I know someone (female) who couldn't figure out why they couldn't get pregnant.  I asked her if they were DTD on or around the time of ovulation.  'What's ovulation?' she says... I explain.  ohhh... she says, I feel really ick around that time so we don't DTD then LOL
subsequently after our chat next cycle almost, she was pregnant lol

#16 Faradaye

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:25 PM

My DH didn't believe I was really pregnant until a visit to the doctor.

The home pregnancy test must have just been for shizzles?

He kept saying 'lets just wait and see what the doctor says.'

#17 GamerMum

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:27 PM

Faradye - DF was exactly the same. Three pregnancy tests, and a blood test later he still decided he wasn't convinced until the first ultrasound! Tounge1.gif

#18 HRH Countrymel

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:34 PM

QUOTE (Faradaye @ 11/04/2012, 04:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH didn't believe I was really pregnant until a visit to the doctor.

The home pregnancy test must have just been for shizzles?

He kept saying 'lets just wait and see what the doctor says.'


Same... we'd done IVF too!

Sadly he was less prepared for the chance of losing the pregnancy - when I stopped him from telling the world he was getting quite grumpy - when we lost the baby and had just one person to 'untell' (my darling friend) he sobbed in my arms and said "Now I understand... "

I think he had just had the image of having to have that conversation with all the people he was so keen to crow our happy news to (crying in front of his fellow firemen for example..)



#19 suzy-c

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:37 PM

Mine did that too. 3 dark BFP's and he said he would only believe the test at the doctor's office. I said that was also a urine test, using exactly the same technology, but he was unmoved. At the doctor's office, I showed doc my BFP and had to make him give me another test, as the doc said it was unnecessary.

At 11 weeks, I now have a small cricket ball-like lump rising from behind my pubic bone (ie: my uterus, feelable when I'm lying down,) but DP will NOT feel it. He says he doesn't want to hurt the baby.



#20 Lim Lam

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:39 PM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 11/04/2012, 11:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I read on here once that a husband requested that the doctor/nurse "put in an extra stitch for good measure"...
The doctor/nurse replied with "why? do you have a small penis?"
biggrin.gif


That is just AWESOME!!! roll2.gif  roll2.gif  roll2.gif

#21 follies

Posted 11 April 2012 - 04:52 PM

Love hearing all the stories, makes me feel a little better about the man's ignorance.

I shouldn't have been too surprised, years ago he told me as I was skinny I would probably need a cesarean.

#22 wallofdodo

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:00 PM

My story is similar to countrymels.

Not prepared for anything to go wrong, wanted to tell everyone. Then he unfortunately he understood. After a discussion with a midwife he was completely blown away with the miscarriage rate. He said 'Why don't people talk about it'. Because it is hard was my response.


#23 shoopdeboop

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:14 PM

QUOTE (Faradaye @ 11/04/2012, 05:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH didn't believe I was really pregnant until a visit to the doctor.

The home pregnancy test must have just been for shizzles?

He kept saying 'lets just wait and see what the doctor says.'



Similar except I had been to the dr's already!! At 6 weeks I was complaining to my husband how sick I felt and that the feeling didn't go away at all. He replied that I'm barely even pregnant yet (and so shouldn't be complaining about feeling sick!) I had already had a dr confirm my pregnancy but as he is yet to see a bump he doesn't comprehend it really being in there and thinks I should have no symptoms.
I had to explain to him that by the time we can actually see the evidence my body should be used to it being there and I should be feeling better......

#24 mum201

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:22 PM

A female friend of mine who was pregnant (and highly educated) thought her baby was growing in her stomach ......

#25 Hooray Henry

Posted 11 April 2012 - 05:46 PM

QUOTE (KristyMum- @ 11/04/2012, 04:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
mind you, I know someone (female) who couldn't figure out why they couldn't get pregnant.  I asked her if they were DTD on or around the time of ovulation.  'What's ovulation?' she says... I explain.  ohhh... she says, I feel really ick around that time so we don't DTD then LOL
subsequently after our chat next cycle almost, she was pregnant lol



I had a similar conversation with my SISTER.  They were DTD by the cycles of the moon trying for a girl.  She was very surprised, as was my BIL, when DH & I explained that actually DTD around ovulation was more likely to result in a pregnancy, they didn't think it made a difference  rolleyes.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

'I had a lotus birth and I loved it'

Lotus birthing is not all that common, but for a number of women it feels like the most natural thing to do.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Is your family's car part of the world's biggest safety recall?

More than 50 million vehicles recalled for potentially lethal airbag fault - is your car affected?

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

Mother-in-law faceplants during proposal

He had it all planned: a romantic proposal on a windswept beach. The whole family would be there so they'd all be able to celebrate the joyous moment together.

A preschooler suddenly goes mute - and it's not just shyness

When our son stopped talking, our sense of loss was painful and acute.

The mums who ask for a 'wife bonus'

They run their homes like domestic CEOs and work tirelessly to improve their family's social standing. And now, according to a new book, they want an annual perk from their husbands.

Woman shares photo of dimple on breast to warn others of cancer risk

A widely-shared Facebook photograph of a British woman's breast has raised awareness of a more subtle breast cancer symptom.

Starting a family despite a low sperm count

"I'd never really failed a test - how could I fail this particularly manly test?"

It's official: we must better protect our kids from toxic lead exposure

New guidelines have been released, aimed at reducing children's harmful exposure to lead. But they still don't go far enough.

Trouble-shooting toddler social skills

Chances are your toddler's behaviour is all completely normal - but here's how to tackle some common social problems.

Helping your first-born welcome a sibling

We did sigh with joy at the arrival of a royal princess - but, mostly, we sighed with pity at the sight of Prince George being taken to meet her.

Farewell, daytime nap

I've been in denial and I'm not too proud to beg, but it appears I must accept the fact that you have gone. I need to let you go.

The identical triplets who are one in 50 million

The father of identical triplets born in a Texas hospital says his three daughters, including conjoined twins, are "a miracle" sent by God.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.