Two years of TTC
, Apr 10 2012 09:16 PM
6 replies to this topic
Posted 10 April 2012 - 09:16 PM
The last two years of our life has been taken up with the thought and effort of falling pregnant. The total joy we felt 2 1/2 weeks ago when that little stick read positive was amazing. It had been a long time coming after having a miscarriage in 2010 and we were really starting to think it would never happen.My world fell apart again at 7 am this morning.The bleeding was not severe, but all the same the world stopped spinning. After a frantic phone call to my amazing husband who turned the car around and came home, off to emergency we went.After what felt like forever my blood results came back with my hcg level at 236. Last Wednesday they were at 257 and 24 hours before that only a low 170. Even though the initial levels were low I still believed this baby would make it because it was wanted do much.I was sent home to 'wait it out' and told to organize an ultrasound for early next week. At the time I just said mm ok, but now I've thought about it I'm really upset that woman who have just lost their baby are treated like its just a bloody nose and not a life altering sad event. I'm hurting and I'm scared and now I have to worry about booking an ultrasound to see if I need a d&c. I asked if the ultrasound would be. For seeing if by chance I haven't miscarried only to be told its a spontaneous abortion and there will be nothing there.I feel for everyone who has ever lost their baby and I truly wish some doctors out there had a bit of compassion.
Posted 10 April 2012 - 09:26 PM
I am so sorry for your loss
I agree with you about the lack if tact or compassion some women receive, it impacts so much on their situation. I remember when I lost my DD at 18 weeks that there was a woman who went through a similar ordeal who delivered her stillborn child in a toilet in an emergency department at the same time. My heart just broke for her and I often think about how she recovered from that. It would be so much harder if medical practitioners showed little compassion.
I hooe you are surrounded with lots of love and support and that time is gentle for you. There are a lot of wonderful members here who were a tremendous support to me, and I'm sure you will receive lots of support through your journey.
Posted 11 April 2012 - 07:54 AM
I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with right now OP. Please, please be gentle with yourself and surround yourself with people who will love and support you. Your DH sounds wonderful.
After our m/c ten days ago I've been overwhelmed by all the love and support we've got from people close to us - but I agree, sometimes doctors just don't seem to get it. I switched GPs as my original one was so unsympathetic about my first m/c.
Chelli is right - there are some wonderful people here who really do get it, and who've been wonderful when I just needed to vent out feelings.
Posted 11 April 2012 - 08:09 AM
I was sent home to 'wait it out' and told to organize an ultrasound for early next week. At the time I just said mm ok, but now I've thought about it I'm really upset that woman who have just lost their baby are treated like its just a bloody nose and not a life altering sad event.
So true. OP, I'm very sorry you've been faced with this awfulness, m/c is just horrible. And I agree that women aren't given enough care and compassion by some
medical staff when facing a m/c. When I started bleeding at 8 weeks and then again 16 weeks, I was told by a number of Emergency dept doctors that "yeah, the pregnancy just isn't viable" and to go home and wait it out. WTF??? How about phrasing that awful info a little more gently, dear Doctor??! And how about giving me some kind of info pack about what to expect and what to do?? I was bawling my eyes out in Emergency at 16 weeks, and the (female) doctor couldn't have been more disinterested in my impending loss. And then when I did lose him, I had "retained product" that caused more bleeding. The terminology and compassion regarding m/c needs to be significantly improved, in my opinion.
Posted 11 April 2012 - 08:43 AM
OP I totally understand what you are going through. It almost made me feel sometimes that because I was so early (7.5 weeks) that it wasn’t so bad. Do they realise what you go through in that one week wait before you get your ultrasound. They don’t tell you what to expect, what’s normal, what isn’t.. I started bleeding bright red blood (not period type blood) and sat there wondering if I should see a DR, should I go to the hospital, my OB was on holidays so I couldn’t talk to him, eventually I was put through to a midwife... It was really, really hard not knowing what to expect, what was happening, and even though I did have my husband he wouldn’t accept it was all going bad and told me to stop being so negative until we had the ultrasound later that week. As we had one ultrasound when I first started bleeding and it showed our bubba with its little heart beating away measuring a week behind.. We had been trying for a long time too so I know how unfair it feels.
I did come across some lovely doctors through some of it and was told up until you hit 9 – 10 weeks you should likely pass it naturally with no problems at all. My GP did recommend a follow up ultrasound though to check all the tissue had passed. So maybe ask about that.
Posted 11 April 2012 - 02:37 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. The public hospital system has alot to answer for, in how they deal with m/c's. They can be uncaring & down right insensitive.
Take care of yourself, but if you can't 'wait it out" then go back & demand some attention.
Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:17 PM
So sorry for what you have been through. We have lost 3 pregnancies over the yrs. 2 were miscarriages and one there were medical issues where we couldn't continue. It's a sad time and I think no matter what is said by the professionals helps. We have had comments like, the fetus must have been damaged, it's not really a baby at this point so try again, don't be upset miscarriages happen to a lot of people etc all unhelpful. I hope u have some family support to lean on
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