Jump to content

Wedding Question


  • Please log in to reply
18 replies to this topic

#1 jusstyce

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:09 PM

My Best friend is getting married this year. I am matron on honour so obviously will be in the bridal party. She is inviting my DH and letting him bring a friend. My DH does not know her family or anyone going to the wedding at all other than the bride and groom and myself. DH doesn't want to go to the reception as he thinks it's a bit suss rocking up with his best mate to a wedding his best mate knows no one at [and who's wife might not like it lol] and DH doesn't want to go alone as he knows no one and I will be sitting at the bridal party table and going for photo's etc. My best friend thinks it's rude and horrible he isn't coming I sort of don't blame DH.
Just wondering what others think?


#2 podg

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:12 PM

Does DH have a sister/niece/favourite aunty etc who he gets on with and would like to go to a wedding? That might seem less suss than a best mate, no worries with the wives or people wondering who the male couple are...

My dad took his recently widowed SIL to a wedding while my mum was away. She loved it and he had company. It worked for everyone.

#3 jusstyce

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:14 PM

Nope he doesn't, he only has a brother and thats it, he doesn't have any family really

#4 niggles

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:14 PM

What is suss about taking a friend to an event you've been invited to? I must be missing something. I guess I'd be miffed too. She's made an attempt to make him comfortable by giving him a +1 and he's still not coming. Since you are matron of honour I assume he is a part of her life?

He doesn't have to come but he should admit his reasons are to please himself and not because he wasn't properly thought of or accomodated for.

#5 Spring Chickadee

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:15 PM

If it were important to the bride I would ask my dh to just go along and have a good time, it's a free feed and a good dance with a friend he can bring along.  It doesn't sound that painful!

#6 Jellyblush

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:15 PM

Hi - I can see why it'd be hard for your DH on the day. but sorry, I think he needs to suck it up. It's only a few hours, it's for your best friend and therefore for you ...you  might eat at the head table but will be there for dancing etc.
He should be able to have a good chat to others on his table - wedding receptions are friendly places, and it's easy to chat about the day to break the ice.


#7 jusstyce

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:18 PM

Nope he doesn't, he only has a brother and thats it, he doesn't have any family really

#8 Like a tiger

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:20 PM

so he doesn't want to witness your best friends making a commitment to her partner because he doesn't know other guests? I think that's slightly rude as he's been given the opportunity to bring a guest he knows to the wedding but is saying he won't come as he doesn't want to socialise with others he doesn't know. It is a few hours in a whole lifetime that they want to share with yourself and you husband, I think he should suck it up and take a friend or family member and share in their happiness.


#9 jusstyce

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:23 PM

DH rarely sees my best friend she lives 5 hours away and he has only met her fiance once. Maybe I am too lenient I sort of didn't blame him as he does suffer anxiety but thinking I should tell him to suck it up.

#10 JustBeige

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:31 PM

can he take his brother then?  Does he get on with someone from your side?  maybe your mum or sibling?   I know my mum would go with DH if he needed her to.

I understand the social awkwardness of going solo to a wedding, but he's not really. You will be there funnily enough.

His brother is more to keep him company for when you are off doing MoH duties. Apart from eating and photos, my BM's and MOH's were no were near our table at our wedding.  They were with their partners/friends.

Another thought.  Do you have a decent camera?  Maybe your DH can tag along to the photos take free shots for your friend.  This will give him something to do and he wont need to take an extra person or feel totally awkward.

#11 jusstyce

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:34 PM

I;m thinking mum might be a good idea lol  my friend and my DH's brother have a history toether so probably not a good idea my bil goes lol

#12 opethmum

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:36 PM

I would just tell him to suck it up for one night, weddings go by so quickly and if he gets nervous perhaps a stiff drink maybe in order and the best thing is that he does not have to pay for it, your friend does.
I am sure that he will be able to find someone to talk to on his table for a little while and I am sure that you will be able to dance and go to him at times during the day and evening.
I am sure that you will able to make it up to him afterwards.


#13 JustBeige

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:37 PM

QUOTE (jusstyce @ 10/04/2012, 08:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I;m thinking mum might be a good idea lol  my friend and my DH's brother have a history toether so probably not a good idea my bil goes lol

So there is your plan.  Tell him he is taking your mum and not to whinge or you will pull out the hairs on the back of his knees.  wink.gif

#14 mrsshero

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:40 PM

I'd tell him to suck it up and choose a +1 (which I think your friend is being extremely generous of offering for him to) or go alone and try and make a new friend for the evening.
I am sure your friend will put him at a table where he would have something in common with other guests.

#15 Mamabug

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:42 PM

I don't see the issue with your DH not going. I was in the bridal party for one of my best friends. DH had only met her a handful of times, he wouldn't know anyone else there.

I told my friend not to even bother inviting him! She was fine with that since I was - it gave me a chance to focus on her, not worry about DH being stuck in limbo not knowing anyone.


#16 EsmeLennox

Posted 10 April 2012 - 09:12 PM

I would be p*ssed with my DH if he pulled that crap. He needs to suck it up and go. It is extremely rude not to, especially as you are in the bridal party IMO, and considering what an effort the bride has gone to to make him feel comfortable by asking him to bring a friend.

FWIW, both DH and I have attended weddings where one of us knew very few of the guests, you just have to get over it and make polite chit chat.

#17 jusstyce

Posted 10 April 2012 - 09:25 PM

Thanks Mama bug that is how I feel but anyway will see cloder to the date. Honestly I want to focus on my best friend for the night too and not stress dh is uncomfortable and have to organise babysitter etc for my kids.

#18 follies

Posted 10 April 2012 - 09:46 PM

For my brother's BIL's wedding, he was the widowed Mother of the Grooms date while his partner was a bridesmaid.

#19 Mitis angelam

Posted 10 April 2012 - 10:00 PM

I think he has every right not to go if he so wishes - there's no obligation for him to do so.

However, perhaps another possibility - when I was matron of honour last year I was dreading just this problem of DH being isolated from people he knew, but the bride actually sat him next to me at the head table.  I thought that was very classy and a lovely solution to potential awkwardness.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

eBay jacket may hold clue to murdered girl's identity

A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.

New mum forced back to work early due to paid parental leave 'technicality'

Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".

Pregnant Amanda Palmer poses naked for book drive

It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.

The conception dilemma facing many parents today

Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.

The wedding photo the bridesmaid would rather forget

We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.

Pregnant TV meteorologist takes on haters

Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".

Honest words from first-time mums

I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.

Adorable baby experiences rain for the first time, couldn't be happier

Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.

What it's really like to start a family in your fifties

Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.

'Biggest hypocrite ever': Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account

An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.

Long recovery ahead for girl hit by car weeks after baby brother's death

A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.

How to react when a toddler lies

Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?

The circular experience of a Centrelink client

A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.

Kelly Clarkson announces live on stage: 'I'm pregnant!'

Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.

Hack

How to search the leaked Ashley Madison data

At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.

Mum dances her way through labour

There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.

'Rest in peace, my little lion': premmie baby Jacob passes away

Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.

Mum killed three young sons 'to help her daughter', prosecutor says

Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.

Shorter women have shorter pregnancies: study

When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.