Jump to content

Middle of the night tantrums
I'm not coping well!


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 Tecopa

Posted 10 April 2012 - 06:53 AM

My son co-sleeps since he's always been a terrible sleeper - and it was going well for a while there with no wakeups. Now usually about five hours after falling asleep he will wake up and quickly escalate to full on tantrum. He starts with a demand for milk - but he still drinks a little before bed and when he wakes and ages ago I stopped that as an option over night too - only offering water. But he doesn't want water. Then he goes into this odd list of requests that varies every night. Ipad on mummy, TV, eat now, wake up, cupcake NOWWWWWW type rubbish. I tell him it's night time and we'll watch TV or eat or whatever in the morning...but by then the whole meltdown in full force...it takes ages before he'll let me cuddle him or calm him and then he'll fall asleep again. On a bad night it can go on and off for hours 1am to 5am once about every hour.

I am waking grumpy, exhausted and so angry at my kid. What is going on? I've tried different sleep times, routines, making sure he is STUFFED full of food in case it is hunger etc. We are TT but this has been going on for months before that.



#2 Crap Napper

Posted 10 April 2012 - 07:35 AM

I don't know, but to varying degrees we have experienced it with two of our three kids. With DS it happened when DD1 was about 2 months old, he was 2.5,  and I think it was his way of dealing with a major change in his life at a time when he thought our attention could be totally on him and not shared with the new baby. It was brutal, often going on for up to 2 hours a night, usually from 2-4am. With DD1, she was 5yo and I think exhausted (towards the end of her first year of school) as well as struggling with a few friendship issues. She was all of a sudden terrified of waking in the night and not being able to get back to sleep, so she engaged us in tantrums so we would be up with her. Lovely stuff.

For both of our kids it was a phase. DS only lasted about 2-3 weeks, but DD1 has real staying power, and with her it lasted about 6 months. No amount of positive reinforcement on good nights helped us, I think both our kids were simply not able to control themselves in an appropriate way at that time of the night.

I don't think anything we "did" aside from not engaging with the tantrum really helped in the long run - they were boundary testing in a big way, and needed time to work it all out before deciding it didn't really work for them. As hard as it was, it did help for us to be totally unemotional about it all.  

Hope it passes soon for you.


#3 FeralMuddyPuddles

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:04 AM

I dont know either as we are currently going through this....will be interested to see the replies....the sleep deprivation is destroying me.

#4 MAGS24

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:41 AM

This is why I have never done co-sleeping. Every time I tried to sleep with DS1 in the bed with me, he would wake up excited and wanting to play in the middle of the night and didn't want to go back to sleep so I always made him sleep in his own bed in his own room.

I kept a monitor in DS1's room so that I could hear him if he woke up during the night and if he woke I would send him straight back to bed, no excuses. If he kept getting up, then I would put a child lock on the inside of his door for a while so that he had to stay in his room. If he started having a tantrum I would let him cry in is room for up to five minutes and then check on him. Sometimes at that point he would be calm enough to get back to bed, but if he still continued with his tantrum I would just let him cry for a while. When he came to realise that it wasn't very fun to wake up in the night, he started to sleep a lot better.  

My rule is that once it was night time, I never let him think he could come out if his room unless he was sick. I used to try to cuddle and comfort him back to sleep but I found that he started waking up more often and he went back to sleep a lot easier when I made him go straight back to bed, no excuses.

He's a stubborn and exited boy and that is one of the things that I like the most about him, but he also has to learn that day time if when he can do what he needs to do. It took a lot of time and effort to get him to start sleeping better during the night but with consistency and a good night routine before bed, he started to sleep all night without waking up.

#5 Tecopa

Posted 10 April 2012 - 11:58 AM

QUOTE (MAGS24 @ 10/04/2012, 08:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is why I have never done co-sleeping. Every time I tried to sleep with DS1 in the bed with me, he would wake up excited and wanting to play in the middle of the night and didn't want to go back to sleep so I always made him sleep in his own bed in his own room.


I don't really know if it's the co-sleeping. We had a great six months before this where he would roll over, go to sleep and wake at 6am with none of the carry on at night, even sharing my bed. It's like his brain is just too wired or not staying switched off. I don't engage anymore except for saying it's night time and time to sleep. Once it's all over he might ask for a cuddle and then he's back out of it but until then I just let him go and try and ignore it.

#6 FeralMuddyPuddles

Posted 10 April 2012 - 12:07 PM

we are not co sleeping, so I dont see that that is the problem here.

#7 EBeditor

Posted 10 April 2012 - 12:12 PM

My kids went through this stage too and sometimes co-sleeping was a technique to get us through it. Triggers were often sickness, some sort of change in routine (new sibling, new daycare etc).

They both grew out of it by 3 - all the best!

#8 Riotproof

Posted 10 April 2012 - 01:36 PM

How long is he sleeping inthe day?

#9 Tecopa

Posted 10 April 2012 - 01:59 PM

The only good night we had this week was when he skipped his sleep - he slept 7pm-6am with only a peep in the middle. But he's not ready to drop the nap because if I try two days with no sleep he face plants into the lounge about 10am next morning. And if he does have a decent nap - say 2 or 3 hours is his ideal then he won't wind down till 8 or 9pm! But if I try and wake him up after 30 mins or so from a nap then OH BOY it's just as bad as the night.

#10 Riotproof

Posted 10 April 2012 - 02:58 PM

QUOTE (Tecopa @ 10/04/2012, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The only good night we had this week was when he skipped his sleep - he slept 7pm-6am with only a peep in the middle. But he's not ready to drop the nap because if I try two days with no sleep he face plants into the lounge about 10am next morning. And if he does have a decent nap - say 2 or 3 hours is his ideal then he won't wind down till 8 or 9pm! But if I try and wake him up after 30 mins or so from a nap then OH BOY it's just as bad as the night.

I'd be inclined to start offering it as "quiet time", if he falls asleep, that's fine, but decide on how long he needs between waking up and the bedtime you want. He may not be ready to give up the nap yet, but it does sound like he's transitioning giving him up. For us, DS needs at least 5 hours awake time after his nap before he would be ready to go to bed. So, I wake him at 3 if he's sleeping past that.

And I wouldn't really call the behaviour tantrums, more like just not being tired.

#11 Tecopa

Posted 10 April 2012 - 03:07 PM

You're probably right as in it starts with not being tired, or just wanting a bit of milk or something but it sure goes into full tantrums -screaming, thrashing, hitting me, throwing things if he can find anything to throw. It's like trying to cosleep with a banshee.

He was a bit tired this morning about 10.30 after soccer but didn't fall asleep and hasn't napped yet and now it's too late so hopefully tonight is a pass out night in peace.

#12 Mpjp is feral

Posted 10 April 2012 - 03:12 PM

I don't know the answer but I feel your pain.

Last night I got:
- I want the fan on (was freezing)
- I want a kiss
- I want cereal
- I need my ben 10 watch
- I want playdoh
- I want to go to the pool
- Time for shower, time for shower, time for shower

Over. And over and over!!!




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Childcare Survey

Win a $100 Coles/Myers gift voucher by completing the 5 minute childcare survey.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Childcare Survey

Win a $100 Coles/Myers gift voucher by completing the 5 minute childcare survey.

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.