Jump to content

Middle of the night tantrums
I'm not coping well!


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 Tecopa

Posted 10 April 2012 - 06:53 AM

My son co-sleeps since he's always been a terrible sleeper - and it was going well for a while there with no wakeups. Now usually about five hours after falling asleep he will wake up and quickly escalate to full on tantrum. He starts with a demand for milk - but he still drinks a little before bed and when he wakes and ages ago I stopped that as an option over night too - only offering water. But he doesn't want water. Then he goes into this odd list of requests that varies every night. Ipad on mummy, TV, eat now, wake up, cupcake NOWWWWWW type rubbish. I tell him it's night time and we'll watch TV or eat or whatever in the morning...but by then the whole meltdown in full force...it takes ages before he'll let me cuddle him or calm him and then he'll fall asleep again. On a bad night it can go on and off for hours 1am to 5am once about every hour.

I am waking grumpy, exhausted and so angry at my kid. What is going on? I've tried different sleep times, routines, making sure he is STUFFED full of food in case it is hunger etc. We are TT but this has been going on for months before that.



#2 FeralSchnitzel

Posted 10 April 2012 - 07:35 AM

I don't know, but to varying degrees we have experienced it with two of our three kids. With DS it happened when DD1 was about 2 months old, he was 2.5,  and I think it was his way of dealing with a major change in his life at a time when he thought our attention could be totally on him and not shared with the new baby. It was brutal, often going on for up to 2 hours a night, usually from 2-4am. With DD1, she was 5yo and I think exhausted (towards the end of her first year of school) as well as struggling with a few friendship issues. She was all of a sudden terrified of waking in the night and not being able to get back to sleep, so she engaged us in tantrums so we would be up with her. Lovely stuff.

For both of our kids it was a phase. DS only lasted about 2-3 weeks, but DD1 has real staying power, and with her it lasted about 6 months. No amount of positive reinforcement on good nights helped us, I think both our kids were simply not able to control themselves in an appropriate way at that time of the night.

I don't think anything we "did" aside from not engaging with the tantrum really helped in the long run - they were boundary testing in a big way, and needed time to work it all out before deciding it didn't really work for them. As hard as it was, it did help for us to be totally unemotional about it all.  

Hope it passes soon for you.


#3 FeralMuddyPuddles

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:04 AM

I dont know either as we are currently going through this....will be interested to see the replies....the sleep deprivation is destroying me.

#4 MAGS24

Posted 10 April 2012 - 08:41 AM

This is why I have never done co-sleeping. Every time I tried to sleep with DS1 in the bed with me, he would wake up excited and wanting to play in the middle of the night and didn't want to go back to sleep so I always made him sleep in his own bed in his own room.

I kept a monitor in DS1's room so that I could hear him if he woke up during the night and if he woke I would send him straight back to bed, no excuses. If he kept getting up, then I would put a child lock on the inside of his door for a while so that he had to stay in his room. If he started having a tantrum I would let him cry in is room for up to five minutes and then check on him. Sometimes at that point he would be calm enough to get back to bed, but if he still continued with his tantrum I would just let him cry for a while. When he came to realise that it wasn't very fun to wake up in the night, he started to sleep a lot better.  

My rule is that once it was night time, I never let him think he could come out if his room unless he was sick. I used to try to cuddle and comfort him back to sleep but I found that he started waking up more often and he went back to sleep a lot easier when I made him go straight back to bed, no excuses.

He's a stubborn and exited boy and that is one of the things that I like the most about him, but he also has to learn that day time if when he can do what he needs to do. It took a lot of time and effort to get him to start sleeping better during the night but with consistency and a good night routine before bed, he started to sleep all night without waking up.

#5 Tecopa

Posted 10 April 2012 - 11:58 AM

QUOTE (MAGS24 @ 10/04/2012, 08:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is why I have never done co-sleeping. Every time I tried to sleep with DS1 in the bed with me, he would wake up excited and wanting to play in the middle of the night and didn't want to go back to sleep so I always made him sleep in his own bed in his own room.


I don't really know if it's the co-sleeping. We had a great six months before this where he would roll over, go to sleep and wake at 6am with none of the carry on at night, even sharing my bed. It's like his brain is just too wired or not staying switched off. I don't engage anymore except for saying it's night time and time to sleep. Once it's all over he might ask for a cuddle and then he's back out of it but until then I just let him go and try and ignore it.

#6 FeralMuddyPuddles

Posted 10 April 2012 - 12:07 PM

we are not co sleeping, so I dont see that that is the problem here.

#7 EBeditor

Posted 10 April 2012 - 12:12 PM

My kids went through this stage too and sometimes co-sleeping was a technique to get us through it. Triggers were often sickness, some sort of change in routine (new sibling, new daycare etc).

They both grew out of it by 3 - all the best!

#8 Riotproof

Posted 10 April 2012 - 01:36 PM

How long is he sleeping inthe day?

#9 Tecopa

Posted 10 April 2012 - 01:59 PM

The only good night we had this week was when he skipped his sleep - he slept 7pm-6am with only a peep in the middle. But he's not ready to drop the nap because if I try two days with no sleep he face plants into the lounge about 10am next morning. And if he does have a decent nap - say 2 or 3 hours is his ideal then he won't wind down till 8 or 9pm! But if I try and wake him up after 30 mins or so from a nap then OH BOY it's just as bad as the night.

#10 Riotproof

Posted 10 April 2012 - 02:58 PM

QUOTE (Tecopa @ 10/04/2012, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The only good night we had this week was when he skipped his sleep - he slept 7pm-6am with only a peep in the middle. But he's not ready to drop the nap because if I try two days with no sleep he face plants into the lounge about 10am next morning. And if he does have a decent nap - say 2 or 3 hours is his ideal then he won't wind down till 8 or 9pm! But if I try and wake him up after 30 mins or so from a nap then OH BOY it's just as bad as the night.

I'd be inclined to start offering it as "quiet time", if he falls asleep, that's fine, but decide on how long he needs between waking up and the bedtime you want. He may not be ready to give up the nap yet, but it does sound like he's transitioning giving him up. For us, DS needs at least 5 hours awake time after his nap before he would be ready to go to bed. So, I wake him at 3 if he's sleeping past that.

And I wouldn't really call the behaviour tantrums, more like just not being tired.

#11 Tecopa

Posted 10 April 2012 - 03:07 PM

You're probably right as in it starts with not being tired, or just wanting a bit of milk or something but it sure goes into full tantrums -screaming, thrashing, hitting me, throwing things if he can find anything to throw. It's like trying to cosleep with a banshee.

He was a bit tired this morning about 10.30 after soccer but didn't fall asleep and hasn't napped yet and now it's too late so hopefully tonight is a pass out night in peace.

#12 Mpjp is feral

Posted 10 April 2012 - 03:12 PM

I don't know the answer but I feel your pain.

Last night I got:
- I want the fan on (was freezing)
- I want a kiss
- I want cereal
- I need my ben 10 watch
- I want playdoh
- I want to go to the pool
- Time for shower, time for shower, time for shower

Over. And over and over!!!




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Why are there so few sexy maternity bras?

Rather than feeling ashamed of their post-baby bodies, women should be free to buy lingerie that makes them look attractive and pretty - no matter what stage of life they're in.

Toddler Alliyah one step closer to first trip home

She has lived the first 14 months of her life in a hospital intensive care unit, but Alliyah Broadby's parents hope to finally take their little girl home with them.

'Put people before IVF profits': IVF pioneer Alan Trounson

IVF could be done for hundreds of dollars in Australia instead of $8500 if clinics stopped charging what ''the market will handle'', a pioneer of the technology says.

Expectant parents urged to swap the pub for bub

Nearly one in five women drink while pregnant, but a current campaign is trying to drive down that unhealthy statistic.

Nutella supplies threatened by bad weather

There's bad news for fans of Nutella, the gooey, chocolatey hazelnut spread.

The cost of growing your own vegies

Does it make financial sense to grow your own veggies, or are you better off ordering produce from the local food co-op?

Breastfeeding mums less likely to suffer from PND, but all need support

A new study has shown the a complex relationship between a mother?s intention to breastfeed, her ability to do so, and postnatal depression.

The #loveyourlines Instagram account taking on body issues

A new Instagram account, LoveYourLines, has put the call out for to change the way we view stretch marks.

Mum gets diploma 51 years after being thrown out of school over pregnancy

Sandra Lantz was about six months pregnant and four months from graduation when she was forced to leave high school. Now, more than half a century later, she has finally graduated.

The lowdown on male midwives

How would you feel about having a male midwife assist your baby's birth? For a growing number of mums, the idea is a reality - and the experts all agree that it's something that should be encouraged.

Bomb threat at daycare centre

Worried parents took to social media yesterday after their children's daycare was evacuated due to a bomb threat.

Unusual celebrity baby names

Celebrities love to use their imaginations when it comes to naming their kids! Here's a gallery of some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

5 fears I've overcome since becoming a mum

Motherhood has a way of putting any phobias you had pre-parenthood into perspective: you either realise they?re a pointless waste of energy or they simply vanish in a sleep-deprived haze.

Mums review the Dymples range from Big W

The Big W Dymples range offers parents a vast selection of quality products to keep their little ones happy and healthy. We asked the Real Mums Test Drive team to review some items - here's what they said.

Recall: Another cot deemed unsafe

Parents are being warned to check their baby's cot is not one of those which have been recalled in recent weeks due to safety concerns.

The truth about breastfeeding and weightloss

Celebrities often state that their post-baby weight loss is down to breastfeeding, and breastfeeding alone. But that's not the reality for all women.

10 weird things little kids do

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. It's usually nothing to worry about, but every now and again you might find yourself scratching your head and asking, ?Really? Is that really a thing??

The app that helps detect signs of autism

Parents can assess their children's progress at critical developmental stages, thanks to this new app.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

She went to a doctor complaining of stomach pains, then had an unexpected operation to remove a decades-old fetus.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.