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Weaning dummy from 3year old


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#1 TwoTs

Posted 08 April 2012 - 11:38 AM

My DD is 3 and still has a dummy! She is very reliant on it and I don't Know what to do. sHe only really has it for sleep time and sometimes in the car, does anyone have ideas how to wean her off it? We have discussed the dummy fairy but haven't gone through with it yet our early childhood nurse said not to worry she won't go to school with it but I think she might she is that attached to it!!



#2 PatG

Posted 08 April 2012 - 11:44 AM

I'm sure it's different for every kid but I know of several dedicated dummy users who have, after being told that dummies belong to babies, decided to give it up on a birthday or other event as after that they are too old to be a baby.  Or another that "gave" the dummies to a new baby.  Another mother "lost" the dummies and just never gave them back.  Lots of crying for several days/nights but then over it.

#3 ali27

Posted 08 April 2012 - 11:50 AM

My daughter ( now 26) was a dummy addict - even snatching the dummy from her newborn brother.  We tried everything - giving the dummy to Santa, bribing her with gifts and encouraging her to "be a big girl". Nothing we did would change her mind - strong willed then and now. Eventually she gave up on her own - no dental problems or any other residual problems. In my opinion, just leave it be.

#4 my_rainbow_shines

Posted 08 April 2012 - 11:57 AM

My very strong willed DD still had her dummy at 3 (well several dummies, she would have one in her mouth and in each hand and a few spare in the bed). One day we were at the shops and she wanted a toy barbie laptop. I said well when you're big and you give your dummies to the dummy fairy you can get one. That night she got a small bucket and collected all of her dummies and left them for the dummy fairy. She went straight to sleep, woke once that night and cried for about a minute, then was fine. Took her to the shops a couple of days later and got her laptop. It was worth it to break the dummy addiction. Perhaps take her shopping and find something she really wants and use that as an incentive.

#5 clm1982

Posted 08 April 2012 - 11:57 AM

Got no advice cos we have the same problem

#6 Soontobegran

Posted 08 April 2012 - 12:09 PM

We had some dedicated dummy users at age 3 and what we did is that we 'talked it up' for a few days beforehand by saying that they were growing up now and that the little babies needed the dummies and when the 'dummy fairy' thought they were all grown up she would come one night and take the dummies and leave a special gift in their place.
We talked about what that special gift was going to be and we wrote a letter to the dummy fairy making sure that when she came she'd know what to bring.

DH and I decided on the night it was to happen and removed every single dummy we could find in the house and cut them up so that there was no going back.
Of course during the night we depended on the fact that the dummy was going to be out of the mouth...sometimes we had to go back a couple of times to get it but there was much excitement when they woke and found a gift.
I think the notion that this meant they were 'big kids' now made them feel special.
You have to be tough, there may or may not be tears, ours were quite cruisy about them being gone but then they did only have them for bed or if they had hurt themselves for about a year before we took them away.

Good luck.

#7 Bodacious Prime

Posted 08 April 2012 - 12:17 PM

Same problem here too and if you tell her she's a big girl, she'll say "No! I'm a baby" because she been told so many times that big girls don't have dummies.
We're doing it in small degrees, so ATM dummies don't leave the house. I also hide her dummy while she eats and distract her when she asks for it. I intend to just keep stretching out the no dummy time until it's just for bed. I reckon getting rid of it for bedtime will be the really tough bit.

#8 ChickenNuggets

Posted 08 April 2012 - 05:48 PM

Swap it for one of these! http://www.jellystonedesigns.com/


#9 lozoodle

Posted 08 April 2012 - 06:06 PM

Honestly I'd just take it away. At three years old there is no reason why she can't understand the concept of being too old for it. Chuck it in the bin, and tell her its gone. Put up with a few days of whinging and it will be fine.

You're the one with the control in this situation original.gif

#10 livvie7586

Posted 08 April 2012 - 06:14 PM

DS still had a dummy at 3.5.  his favourite daycare teacher started the 'getting rid of the dummy' idea, with a trip down to the babies room and a comparison to what DS could do in the kindy room.  he did decide on his own that they were yucky and they went in the bin, and that was that.

Otherwise, he was going to take them all in to daycare, and they were going to make a big fuss of giving them to the babies

#11 follies

Posted 08 April 2012 - 06:23 PM

Apparently my brother just one day put them in the bin without any prompting and never asked for one again.

#12 lucky 2

Posted 09 April 2012 - 09:19 PM

Hi,

I've moved your topic to the 3-5 yo forum.

Regards,

lucky 2
Moderator

#13 2bellaboos

Posted 09 April 2012 - 09:28 PM

For DD1 at 2.5 years old, we did the "Santa will give you a bike for xmas but you have to give him your dummies". We left them on a plate and what do you know, they were gone the next morning and there was a bike in their place. Didn't mean she didn't miss them though and it took a few nights for her to stop asking for them. She too would nab her new newborn sisters dummies even 6 months later.

My mum couldn't bare to throw it out, so we started by snipping the top off and telling her it was broken. Slowly but surely there was nothing left and when she was ready, she just threw it in the bin herself.

Good luck OP!

#14 LifesGood

Posted 09 April 2012 - 09:30 PM

IMHO it's you who has to really want to give the dummy up for it to happen. Once you have made the decision you just discuss and agree it with your DD and then follow it through in an irreversible way (ie cut up the dummies and toss them in the outside bin so there is no going back).

We hung  our DDs dummies on the Christmas tree and santa replaced them with little toys in exchange.

#15 LifesGood

Posted 09 April 2012 - 09:30 PM

DP

Edited by LifesGood, 09 April 2012 - 09:31 PM.


#16 bark

Posted 11 April 2012 - 11:37 AM

We got rid of ours last weekend, swapped it for a big choc bunny. :-)

#17 tres-chic

Posted 11 April 2012 - 11:46 AM

DS2 was obsessed with his dummy too. Had it for all sleeps and in the car, for walks in the pram, etc.  I agonised over it, was worried it was delaying his speech, etc.

In the end we hit breaking point and decided to go 'cold turkey' after he turned three. We told him that dummies were for littlies and as he was becoming a big boy he didn't need it.

We couldn't believe it when we just had one bad night. It took about two hours of crying for it and he finally dropped off and he then knew and accepted that it was gone. We couildn't believe how easy it was really. Just be prepared to stand your ground.

Maybe offer a reward if you feel it's necessary, a book or stickers or something?

#18 wallofdodo

Posted 11 April 2012 - 11:58 AM

QUOTE (lozoodle @ 08/04/2012, 06:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Honestly I'd just take it away. At three years old there is no reason why she can't understand the concept of being too old for it. Chuck it in the bin, and tell her its gone. Put up with a few days of whinging and it will be fine.

You're the one with the control in this situation original.gif


I agree, I think 3 is old enough to understand it is gone. I always said I would do it when he understood what was happening. I had a lot of pressure to get rid of it from my mother.

We did something similar to this, just after Christmas. He was only using it for sleep at night. So we just took it away. Lots of motivating speak. It took 2 nights.

I think it was really us holding on to the dummy. Fear of loosing sleep, but nothing happened.

Good luck.

#19 Mummyjane24

Posted 11 April 2012 - 12:29 PM

My 3yo DD only had a dummy at sleep times. When she started daycare about 5 mths ago I had specifically mentioned to her teacher that she HAD to have her dummy before she would have her midday nap. Anyway, I found out that my request had gone unheard and my DD had been sleeping at daycare without her dummy and with no repercussions. Anyway, with that info under my belt, I told my DD that she had chewed through her last dummy and we had no more and that it was Ok because none of her new friends at Daycare had dummies as they were "Big Girls". It took two nights of minor dummy requests and we were done with it. Her younger brother still has a dummy at sleep times which she would initially, cheekily try to find and suck but I'm happy to say that she was quickly dummy free and has been ever since.

I think I can offer these points (if you are seriously determined to get rid of the dummy):

1. Have no dummies in the house (or anywhere) for you to fall back on if it gets too hard, you can't give in then.
2. Make no fuss about it when she carries on or tantrums for her dummy. Tell her how it is and that's that (you're serious about it after all).
3. Ignore any further requests for a dummy.
4. Enstil in her the belief that she is much better off without the dummy ie. She's a big girl, offer rewards for not using a dummy ie. Extra painting time or going to the park the next day.
5. If you are serious.....NEVER GIVE IN!!!!

It may sound harsh but it worked and we were dummy-free in 2 days.

#20 redtshirt

Posted 12 April 2012 - 08:53 PM

My DD just turned 3. Serious dummy addict. Even tried on occasion to eat with it still in her mouth. It Had to go. One day the dummy fairy arrived and took them all away and left a lovely soft snuggly special dolly to be her new comfort companion. She loves her new 'silky' doll and has been fine apart from one crying session for the dummy. So glad we are finally rid of it.

good luck, the anticipation is the worst bit.

#21 belindarama

Posted 12 April 2012 - 09:01 PM

I agree that you are probably more worried about it than you need to be.

I was quite anxious about getting rid of DS1's dummy.

We talked it up for a while and found out what he would like as a special extra present from Santa in return for the dummies. On Christmas Eve he didnt even ask for a dummy and has never mentioned them since. No drama whatsoever.

Although, he did point out to me the other day that DS2's thumb "is just like a dummy for him but one that no one can ever take away".  Too cute... Now anyone got advice on stopping a thumb sucker?  tongue.gif

#22 bluecardigans

Posted 12 April 2012 - 10:39 PM

huge dummy addiction here. We went cold turkey with lots of big boy presents. All over in 2 days. The worst was 1 hr of being upset. DS loves telling everyone about it, he is extremely proud of himself.

And they look so cute sleeping without their dummies!

#23 rachb81

Posted 12 April 2012 - 10:55 PM

I am on night 3 of my almost 3 year old without a dummy. For months I have been trying to ditch it but the "dummies are for babies" got responses "im a baby" and the prospect of buying new toys/diggers/dinasours worked until we actually put him in bed then he cried & said he didnt want anything just his dummy. We decorated an envelope & put them inside to leave for the dummy fairy but when I left the envelope he grabbed it back & took them.

In the end the other night I decided that was it. I took them away & said they were gone. Put him to bed & told him he would be fine without them & just to lay in bed & he would fall asleep. Yes there was crying but I kept coming back to his room saying time to sleep, dummys are gone. within 10 or so mins he was asleep.

1st night he woke up twice & I gave him cuddle, stayed with him till he was settled & relaxed then back to bed. In the morning he found a stash of lollies/chocolates from the dummy fairy next to his bed.

Last night he woke up three times but again went back to sleep without too much fuss. Today we went to the shop & he got to choose a present.

Tonight he cried again for a couple of mins but only asked for dummy once....lets see how many times he wakes up tonight.

Think you just have to draw a line in the sand, say thats it they are gone & no going back no matter what the circumstances.

Good luck

#24 Dionysus

Posted 12 April 2012 - 11:00 PM

DD will be 3 in June. The dummy fairy is coming tonight!

We had been talking it up for awhile and she actually was the one to suggest the Easter Bunny take the dummies.  But, we were going away with friends for Easter and there was no way I wanted to deal with a grumpy, dummy-less girl!

So, today we talked about it again.  Got an empty basket and rounded up all the dummies (14   ohmy.gif).  Put them in her toy kitchen and wrote a letter to the dummy fairy.  We also asked the Dummy Fairy to have a chat to Easter Bunny in case he had any left-over eggs   LOL (we have stacks left over from easter!)

So far so good tonight.  She went straight to sleep, a little bit sad, but cuddled into her dora doll.  She usually wakes and rolls over in the early hours looking for a spare dummy, so that will be the test.

Fingers are crossed!

#25 jcbenny

Posted 13 April 2012 - 09:30 AM

My SIL told her daughter that the mouse took her dummy... For some reason she just stopped asking for it since. Although she now has very crooked teeth .




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