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Dad duty whilst Mum's away
Curious - what age was your child?


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#1 Studybug

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:04 PM

HI there

My brother's engagement party is coming up next month and it's a child-free event.

We've been discussing what to do with DS (2yrs 2mths old) for the night.  They live (and the party is) 10 hours away so everyone we know in that area is family and attending.  They sent a flyer for a nannying service but we can't really afford the cost and DS probably wouldn't deal well with being put to bed by a stranger therefore we wouldn't deal well with it either...  So one of my sisters who has recently moved near us, and isn't going for a good reason, has offered to look after DS for the weekend whilst we attend which is a lovely offer.  Another option would be for DH and DS to stay home whilst only I attend, and I just realised that DH and DS have not yet had a night at home without me.  It's been just DS and I for up to a week at a time on several occasions but never those two whilst I go away or such.

So, just curious, when was the first time you went away and the kiddies stayed with their dad?  Is it unusual that DS is 2 and this hasn't happened in our family yet?

Cheers!

#2 FeralBob!

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:07 PM

DD was 2.5 when I had to go into hospital unexpectedly with a perforated appendix. DH had to look after her for 3 days that week and another 3 the week after following complications.

#3 liveworkplay

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:09 PM

Hmmm, I think it was when my 3 were 7, 5 and 2. I cannot think of a time when I have left them alone with DH except that time. I was away 4 days.

#4 Mamabug

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:09 PM

DH has had sole care for our kids for one or two nights at various ages, the youngest being seven months (one night, expressed EBM). Hasn't had all four yet - strangely it is harder for me to escape the more kids we have!!!

I don't think it strange, unless it has been a deliberate choice on your behalf to not leave DH and DS overnight.

#5 Agnodice the Feral

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:12 PM

DH took care if DS in his own from the first week. I went to a week long conference when he was 7 months and DH had him for the whole week.

Amongst my female friends with kids, all work and have to travel for work, and so dads have bubs overnight from whenever mat leave ends (anywhere from 3-12 months), and dads also do 50/50 of other care (childcare drop off/pick up, dinner, baths, weekend activities etc).

#6 janbabe

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:13 PM

QUOTE (Rawr @ 07/04/2012, 09:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I left my kids alone with my man since birth. I trust him. He knows what he's doing. He is their parent, after all. This is, of course, working around any breast feeding needs

Same here.

#7 LynnyP

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:14 PM

No, not really strange.  I tend not to leave my children at night until they are 2.5ish.  Since I went back to work we take some of our holidays apart so take our daughter away by ourselves for a week or so at a time during the year.  Last June my husband took two six year olds away camping for a week by himself.

#8 ReadySetRace

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:14 PM

Just 6 months ago i had a weekend away with my mother's group. DD1 was 4 and DD2 was 2.  Oh and when I had DD2 in hospital, DD1 was 20 months.

#9 Pocahontas

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:15 PM

Overnight ... with DS1 he was about 18 months, with DS2 I can't remember but probabbly a similar age.  It's about that age when both times I really felt some alone time and the opportunity arose.


#10 Soontobegran

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:15 PM

My DH took full care of our children when I went into hospital to have a new baby so the first one was just over one year.
When I had # 4 he had a 1, 2 and 3 year old and did a really amazing job. I was never worried about them being in his care original.gif

#11 Sambambino

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:16 PM

My husband has looked after DD on his own for a couple of hours from when she was 1st home from hospital. He fist did a weekend when she was 14 months. With DS his first alone overnighters were a bit later - about 18 months(he is still breastfed now at 21 months). Besides breastfeeding DH is capable of doing everything I am in regards to caring for the children.

#12 ubermum

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:16 PM

Dh has looked after the kids on his own since they were born. When my youngest was 2 I went interstate for a week leaving them with dh. Before that, I left my eldest with my sister for five days when our second was born.

#13 Banana Pancakes

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:16 PM

My youngest was at least 2.5 years. I would of happily left them earlier if the opportunity had arisen.

#14 Snuffster

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:17 PM

DD has been left with DH during the day since she was born. I went away with a girlfriend interstate for 3 nights when she was 7 months old.
DH is a very hands on parent, he usually baths her and often puts her to bed, so it was no big deal.

Edited by Snuffster, 07 April 2012 - 08:19 PM.


#15 lozoodle

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:18 PM

Just go, the father is there, why get a babysitter!?

I went away for three nights about a year ago to visit a friend. DD1 was 2y and DD2 was 4 months old.

It was a much needed break for me (mmm sleep ins and lazy days!) and DP absolutely loved his time with the girls. He just cook a couple of days of annual leave and it was no problem.

Did all of us the world of good.

Have more faith in your DH, they aren't idiots, they know how to look after a kid. Especially a 2 year old!

#16 Kim

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:19 PM

Ds1 was around 14 mths I guess.  

I made the choice to be close to my children for that first year because I was breastfeeding and couldn't be bothered with expressing and bottles.

They were all drinking milk from a cup by 12 mths though so then i was happy to leave them...  And did.

Ds1 was 19 mths when ds2 was born, so of course dh was home alone with ds1.

Then with dd, she was 8mths when I had a seizure and was hospitalized for 4 nights, dh did a stellar job going solo, even bought dd into the hospital 4 hrly so I could breastfeed her.

Back to you though, I think it's weird that your dh has never parented his own child solo...

#17 sharkie81

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:33 PM

DH has looked after DS on his own since birth. He was a SATD between 7mths- 13mths of age while I worked. I was going out to dinner's with my girlfriends (unfortunately infrequently) from about 13mths of age, and DH would put DS to bed.

Enjoy yourself!

#18 podg

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:43 PM

DH has only ever done duty by himself when I'm in hospital having babies - but he knows his girls (4,2 and 1) well, cooks and feeds them beautifully and does bedtime most nights. Bedtime is something he takes a pride in.

Could your sister maybe come over a few times and do parts of DS's bedtime routine for you, as practice runs (and a novelty for DS) with no pressure?

Is now perhaps a good time for your boy's Daddy to do some bedtimes with him? My kids love their story time with their Dad.

#19 liveworkplay

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:53 PM

QUOTE
I left my kids alone with my man since birth. I trust him. He knows what he's doing. He is their parent, after all. This is, of course, working around any breast feeding needs


So have I, just not overnight. Not through any trust issue, just the circumstance never arose.

I have BF my kids to 2+yrs, so they really haven't been left with anyone for nay length of time. When I left DD3 last year, she was still BF but in the process of weening herself so it was all good.

#20 Majeix

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:54 PM

I don't think its odd really leave my kids overnight until their around two and a half admitedly with the second she was a little younger than two and a half. After two-two and a half I would leave them with their dad overnight but probably not anyone else for a bit longer. It's not that I have no faith in DH and his ability to parent and I leave them during the day and go out in the evenings and he puts them to bed on a regular basis. It's just well I dunno I guess I believe in the primary care giver being around. If I worked or something it would be different. Oh and when they are everntually left they are fine. dd1 is an independent little thing so I don't see how being around does them any harm any more then leaving them probably does.

At two and a bit for something I really wanted to I woudl have reservation but go and leave them with their Dad unless I thought they would be upest/had a reason not too. ( I did for something similar when my dd2 was slightly older and although I was worried (not about the care) she was fine)

Edited by Majeix, 07 April 2012 - 08:56 PM.


#21 Balto1

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:55 PM

DH has done one full night solo (DS was five months) and two part nights where I had an evening function and was home late. He cares for DS solely every Saturday morning and does bath and bedtime three nights a week.

Once DS is weaned, I will happily do two to three nights away while DH flies solo.

DH and DS love their one on one time together and I love that they love it.

#22 Studybug

Posted 07 April 2012 - 09:00 PM

Thanks for the replies!  It's always interesting to hear how other families operate.  And how embarassing, I didn't even think of instances of birthing second (or third or fourth wink.gif ) children!  Geez, I revealed my amateurness didn't I lol.

HI Mamabug, I agree it would be strange if it was a deliberate choice also wink.gif .  DH goes away for work so that's why I've had weeks of solo nights, but it's never been the other way round as I guess the only time I'd planned to go away alone before this, the other people pulled out and then other times both of us were invited.

HI Kim, DH parents solo all the time.  I used to volunteer at a women's service before DS was born and continued with it until we moved interstate.  So from when DS was 1mth old when I was at work once a week, DH was at home.  Also, I study so most weekends I'm at uni and DS and DH are doing their thing together. It's just never been an overnight thing, and I guess I started this thread as I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet too huh.gif .

Hi lozoodle, I'm sure DH knows exactly what he's doing as he's been doing the dirty work of parenting for as long as I have wink.gif . the babysitter wasn't because I don't think DH could handle it - that would be really off of me!  It's just both DH and I are invited and we were thinking of all the options so both of us could attend.  DH has been a part of my family for quite a few years now, so it's a given that both of us are welcome and wanted at events. That's all original.gif .

Thanks heaps.

Edited by Studybug, 07 April 2012 - 09:03 PM.


#23 Studybug

Posted 07 April 2012 - 09:18 PM

I guess it also comes down to whether or not DH wants to come to the engagement party.  I would be more comfortable being 10 hours away for 2 days knowing that DH and DS were together as that means that DS would be happy and we wouldn't have to wondering if DS was settling at night for my sister.  In saying that, I know my sister and she would have DS in the room with her at night without a second's thought and would be totally cool with the spectrum of two yr old fun.  And it would be fun to have a night out with DH and then maybe we could both get one of those sleep ins lozoodle mentioned...  I should probably be sitting in the lounge room asking DH what he wants to do biggrin.gif

#24 Expelliarmus

Posted 07 April 2012 - 09:23 PM

DD1 was about 5 months when I went back to work overnights so he had her from about then twice a week. It has happened at various times since then, most recently he took them camping alone for a week and had them for the weekend about a month ago while I went away.

#25 namie

Posted 07 April 2012 - 09:24 PM

QUOTE (Kim @ 07/04/2012, 08:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think it's weird that your dh has never parented his own child solo...

The OP never said her DP hadn't ever parented his child on his own. She said he had never been on his own overnight.

I left DP and DS1 alone together for an entire 24 hours when I was pregnant with DS2, so I could attend a concert with my sister. DS1 would have been around 14 months old, I think. If there had been a reason to do so I would've been quite happy to leave them overnight before then, but DS1 had only just weaned from breastfeeding and I couldn't express milk to leave for him. Plus, there was no reason for me to leave (ie. no where I needed or wanted to go on my own for an overnight stay).

DP then looked after DS1 for 4 nights, when he was 17 months old, while I was in hospital with DS2.




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