Jump to content

Dad duty whilst Mum's away
Curious - what age was your child?


  • Please log in to reply
54 replies to this topic

#1 Studybug

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:04 PM

HI there

My brother's engagement party is coming up next month and it's a child-free event.

We've been discussing what to do with DS (2yrs 2mths old) for the night.  They live (and the party is) 10 hours away so everyone we know in that area is family and attending.  They sent a flyer for a nannying service but we can't really afford the cost and DS probably wouldn't deal well with being put to bed by a stranger therefore we wouldn't deal well with it either...  So one of my sisters who has recently moved near us, and isn't going for a good reason, has offered to look after DS for the weekend whilst we attend which is a lovely offer.  Another option would be for DH and DS to stay home whilst only I attend, and I just realised that DH and DS have not yet had a night at home without me.  It's been just DS and I for up to a week at a time on several occasions but never those two whilst I go away or such.

So, just curious, when was the first time you went away and the kiddies stayed with their dad?  Is it unusual that DS is 2 and this hasn't happened in our family yet?

Cheers!

#2 FeralBob!

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:07 PM

DD was 2.5 when I had to go into hospital unexpectedly with a perforated appendix. DH had to look after her for 3 days that week and another 3 the week after following complications.

#3 liveworkplay

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:09 PM

Hmmm, I think it was when my 3 were 7, 5 and 2. I cannot think of a time when I have left them alone with DH except that time. I was away 4 days.

#4 Mamabug

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:09 PM

DH has had sole care for our kids for one or two nights at various ages, the youngest being seven months (one night, expressed EBM). Hasn't had all four yet - strangely it is harder for me to escape the more kids we have!!!

I don't think it strange, unless it has been a deliberate choice on your behalf to not leave DH and DS overnight.

#5 No-pants Agnodice

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:12 PM

DH took care if DS in his own from the first week. I went to a week long conference when he was 7 months and DH had him for the whole week.

Amongst my female friends with kids, all work and have to travel for work, and so dads have bubs overnight from whenever mat leave ends (anywhere from 3-12 months), and dads also do 50/50 of other care (childcare drop off/pick up, dinner, baths, weekend activities etc).

#6 janbabe

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:13 PM

QUOTE (Rawr @ 07/04/2012, 09:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I left my kids alone with my man since birth. I trust him. He knows what he's doing. He is their parent, after all. This is, of course, working around any breast feeding needs

Same here.

#7 LynnyP

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:14 PM

No, not really strange.  I tend not to leave my children at night until they are 2.5ish.  Since I went back to work we take some of our holidays apart so take our daughter away by ourselves for a week or so at a time during the year.  Last June my husband took two six year olds away camping for a week by himself.

#8 ReadySetRace

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:14 PM

Just 6 months ago i had a weekend away with my mother's group. DD1 was 4 and DD2 was 2.  Oh and when I had DD2 in hospital, DD1 was 20 months.

#9 Pocahontas

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:15 PM

Overnight ... with DS1 he was about 18 months, with DS2 I can't remember but probabbly a similar age.  It's about that age when both times I really felt some alone time and the opportunity arose.


#10 Soontobegran

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:15 PM

My DH took full care of our children when I went into hospital to have a new baby so the first one was just over one year.
When I had # 4 he had a 1, 2 and 3 year old and did a really amazing job. I was never worried about them being in his care original.gif

#11 Sambambino

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:16 PM

My husband has looked after DD on his own for a couple of hours from when she was 1st home from hospital. He fist did a weekend when she was 14 months. With DS his first alone overnighters were a bit later - about 18 months(he is still breastfed now at 21 months). Besides breastfeeding DH is capable of doing everything I am in regards to caring for the children.

#12 ubermum

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:16 PM

Dh has looked after the kids on his own since they were born. When my youngest was 2 I went interstate for a week leaving them with dh. Before that, I left my eldest with my sister for five days when our second was born.

#13 Banana Pancakes

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:16 PM

My youngest was at least 2.5 years. I would of happily left them earlier if the opportunity had arisen.

#14 Snuffster

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:17 PM

DD has been left with DH during the day since she was born. I went away with a girlfriend interstate for 3 nights when she was 7 months old.
DH is a very hands on parent, he usually baths her and often puts her to bed, so it was no big deal.

Edited by Snuffster, 07 April 2012 - 08:19 PM.


#15 lozoodle

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:18 PM

Just go, the father is there, why get a babysitter!?

I went away for three nights about a year ago to visit a friend. DD1 was 2y and DD2 was 4 months old.

It was a much needed break for me (mmm sleep ins and lazy days!) and DP absolutely loved his time with the girls. He just cook a couple of days of annual leave and it was no problem.

Did all of us the world of good.

Have more faith in your DH, they aren't idiots, they know how to look after a kid. Especially a 2 year old!

#16 Kim

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:19 PM

Ds1 was around 14 mths I guess.  

I made the choice to be close to my children for that first year because I was breastfeeding and couldn't be bothered with expressing and bottles.

They were all drinking milk from a cup by 12 mths though so then i was happy to leave them...  And did.

Ds1 was 19 mths when ds2 was born, so of course dh was home alone with ds1.

Then with dd, she was 8mths when I had a seizure and was hospitalized for 4 nights, dh did a stellar job going solo, even bought dd into the hospital 4 hrly so I could breastfeed her.

Back to you though, I think it's weird that your dh has never parented his own child solo...

#17 sharkie81

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:33 PM

DH has looked after DS on his own since birth. He was a SATD between 7mths- 13mths of age while I worked. I was going out to dinner's with my girlfriends (unfortunately infrequently) from about 13mths of age, and DH would put DS to bed.

Enjoy yourself!

#18 podg

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:43 PM

DH has only ever done duty by himself when I'm in hospital having babies - but he knows his girls (4,2 and 1) well, cooks and feeds them beautifully and does bedtime most nights. Bedtime is something he takes a pride in.

Could your sister maybe come over a few times and do parts of DS's bedtime routine for you, as practice runs (and a novelty for DS) with no pressure?

Is now perhaps a good time for your boy's Daddy to do some bedtimes with him? My kids love their story time with their Dad.

#19 liveworkplay

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:53 PM

QUOTE
I left my kids alone with my man since birth. I trust him. He knows what he's doing. He is their parent, after all. This is, of course, working around any breast feeding needs


So have I, just not overnight. Not through any trust issue, just the circumstance never arose.

I have BF my kids to 2+yrs, so they really haven't been left with anyone for nay length of time. When I left DD3 last year, she was still BF but in the process of weening herself so it was all good.

#20 Majeix

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:54 PM

I don't think its odd really leave my kids overnight until their around two and a half admitedly with the second she was a little younger than two and a half. After two-two and a half I would leave them with their dad overnight but probably not anyone else for a bit longer. It's not that I have no faith in DH and his ability to parent and I leave them during the day and go out in the evenings and he puts them to bed on a regular basis. It's just well I dunno I guess I believe in the primary care giver being around. If I worked or something it would be different. Oh and when they are everntually left they are fine. dd1 is an independent little thing so I don't see how being around does them any harm any more then leaving them probably does.

At two and a bit for something I really wanted to I woudl have reservation but go and leave them with their Dad unless I thought they would be upest/had a reason not too. ( I did for something similar when my dd2 was slightly older and although I was worried (not about the care) she was fine)

Edited by Majeix, 07 April 2012 - 08:56 PM.


#21 Balto1

Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:55 PM

DH has done one full night solo (DS was five months) and two part nights where I had an evening function and was home late. He cares for DS solely every Saturday morning and does bath and bedtime three nights a week.

Once DS is weaned, I will happily do two to three nights away while DH flies solo.

DH and DS love their one on one time together and I love that they love it.

#22 Studybug

Posted 07 April 2012 - 09:00 PM

Thanks for the replies!  It's always interesting to hear how other families operate.  And how embarassing, I didn't even think of instances of birthing second (or third or fourth wink.gif ) children!  Geez, I revealed my amateurness didn't I lol.

HI Mamabug, I agree it would be strange if it was a deliberate choice also wink.gif .  DH goes away for work so that's why I've had weeks of solo nights, but it's never been the other way round as I guess the only time I'd planned to go away alone before this, the other people pulled out and then other times both of us were invited.

HI Kim, DH parents solo all the time.  I used to volunteer at a women's service before DS was born and continued with it until we moved interstate.  So from when DS was 1mth old when I was at work once a week, DH was at home.  Also, I study so most weekends I'm at uni and DS and DH are doing their thing together. It's just never been an overnight thing, and I guess I started this thread as I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet too huh.gif .

Hi lozoodle, I'm sure DH knows exactly what he's doing as he's been doing the dirty work of parenting for as long as I have wink.gif . the babysitter wasn't because I don't think DH could handle it - that would be really off of me!  It's just both DH and I are invited and we were thinking of all the options so both of us could attend.  DH has been a part of my family for quite a few years now, so it's a given that both of us are welcome and wanted at events. That's all original.gif .

Thanks heaps.

Edited by Studybug, 07 April 2012 - 09:03 PM.


#23 Studybug

Posted 07 April 2012 - 09:18 PM

I guess it also comes down to whether or not DH wants to come to the engagement party.  I would be more comfortable being 10 hours away for 2 days knowing that DH and DS were together as that means that DS would be happy and we wouldn't have to wondering if DS was settling at night for my sister.  In saying that, I know my sister and she would have DS in the room with her at night without a second's thought and would be totally cool with the spectrum of two yr old fun.  And it would be fun to have a night out with DH and then maybe we could both get one of those sleep ins lozoodle mentioned...  I should probably be sitting in the lounge room asking DH what he wants to do biggrin.gif

#24 Expelliarmus

Posted 07 April 2012 - 09:23 PM

DD1 was about 5 months when I went back to work overnights so he had her from about then twice a week. It has happened at various times since then, most recently he took them camping alone for a week and had them for the weekend about a month ago while I went away.

#25 namie

Posted 07 April 2012 - 09:24 PM

QUOTE (Kim @ 07/04/2012, 08:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think it's weird that your dh has never parented his own child solo...

The OP never said her DP hadn't ever parented his child on his own. She said he had never been on his own overnight.

I left DP and DS1 alone together for an entire 24 hours when I was pregnant with DS2, so I could attend a concert with my sister. DS1 would have been around 14 months old, I think. If there had been a reason to do so I would've been quite happy to leave them overnight before then, but DS1 had only just weaned from breastfeeding and I couldn't express milk to leave for him. Plus, there was no reason for me to leave (ie. no where I needed or wanted to go on my own for an overnight stay).

DP then looked after DS1 for 4 nights, when he was 17 months old, while I was in hospital with DS2.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.