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12 Weeks old and HATES, LOATHES, DETESTS the car!

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#1 michelle120773

Posted 05 April 2012 - 11:58 AM

Okay so as the title says, my 12 week old DD hates loathes and detests the car!

As soon as I strap her in the whining starts and by the time we pull out of the driveway the full blwon hysteria has begun.

In 12 weeks I can count on 1/2 a hand the number of trips we have taken that have not involved the tears/screaming!

So far I have tried;

  • Ensuring she is fed, burped and changed before getting in the car
  • A lambs wool to make the seat more comfy (this is the latest thing)
  • Taken her to the osteopath to ensure there is nothing "wrong" that moght be causing the screaming
  • Felt the seat to ensure nothing is sticking into her and making her uncomfy
  • Put a mirror up so she doesn't feel lonely
  • Given her a toy for company

The screaming has not even diminished at all and can last up to 40 minutes....yesterday was the record of 45 minutes when we were stuck in peak hour on the Monash Fwy and couldn't pull over.

She screams so much that she gets all phlygmy and makes a sort of growling sound which is quite distressing for her, me and my DS who is in the back seat with her.

I wont be turning her seat till she's at least 12 months so that's not an option even in the medium term...

Any suggestions on soemthing I have not tried which may help would be greatfully considered!

I'm at a loss!

#2 jo074

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:06 PM

Any suggestions on soemthing I have not tried which may help would be greatfully considered!


I would say you are probably just going to have to wait it out. My DD and DS2 were exactly like that no matter what I tried. I couldn't understand it - I thought babies were supposed to just drift off the sleep in the car, but not these two. They grew out of it eventually though -  a long time before they were turned FF. I can't remember when DD grew out of it, but DS2 was 4 months old when he grew out of it. I stll remember one day we pulled up at school and DS1 said "Mum, we got ALL the way to school without DS2 crying - is he OK?"

ETA - one thing I now remember which used to work sometimes (although I'd say it is a very child specific thing...) was asking DS1 to stick his finger (gently!) in DS2's mouth - DS2 wouldn't take a dummy, but would suck on a finger and since DS1 was facing forward, right next to DS2 who was facing backwards, DS1 could easily reach him and it seemed to distract him a bit.  I just had to block out of my mind all the places I had seen DS1 put that finger.....

Edited by jo074, 05 April 2012 - 12:24 PM.

#3 PurpleNess

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:09 PM

Not sure how you'd feel about a dummy but I find it helps calm my DS who's now 4 months old and often he'll drift off to sleep....

Some babies do get car sick & hate facing backwards so lets hope she grows out of it :-) It's awful to listen to though.

#4 boatiebabe

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:11 PM

Some kids just hate the car.

My two did and I was a nervous wreck most times I had to drive anywhere.

I turned both mine FF at 6 months (I know I know  ohmy.gif ) and that helped immeasurably.

Sometimes there is just nothing you can do.

My DS once screamed for a whole 2 hour car trip (turned into about 3.5hrs with all the stopping to make sure he was fed, dry, comfy etc). I remember turning up to my sisters house with bloodshot eyes and my nerves shot.

I hope someone can come in with some suggestions. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and that it gets better. My two (8 and 5) are awesome car travellers now!

#5 pinkpeony

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:16 PM

We got a mirror for the head rest so ds could see me. Didn't fix it, but really help. Music helped to, jazz. was very soothing.

Why are you waiting till 12 months?

#6 Bobsygirls

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:21 PM

We got a sounds for sleeping CD and played it LOUD in the car and that helped a bit. All of mine have hated the car, the only real solution is to wait it out. I never prematurely turned the seat, their safety is more important than less screaming. I would just avoid long trips and take frequent stops when they are unavoidable.

#7 4joys

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:22 PM

QUOTE (Bobsygirls @ 05/04/2012, 01:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We got a sounds for sleeping CD and played it LOUD in the car and that helped a bit. All of mine have hated the car, the only real solution is to wait it out. I never prematurely turned the seat, their safety is more important than less screaming. I would just avoid long trips and take frequent stops when they are unavoidable.

Was coming in to suggest some white music too. We had this CD too and it worked most of the time - but like the PP said, you need it LOUD. So maybe an iPhone or something similar in the capsule.

I feel your pain OP, I had one of those car haters too...hope it passes soon.

#8 runnybabbit

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:22 PM

OP I really feel your pain. We lived in the Perth hills when DS was born and it was a 30-40 min drive to anywhere, and he was a screamer from the word go.

A lot of people told us it would get better, but it didn't. It hasn't. He is now 11.5 months old and in the past month I have tried him FF a couple of times, and it is no better. It is just easier to hand him stuff to distract him (which works for about one minute, before he throws it and starts to bawl again). So I have kept him RF for now. Have a mirror. Didn't help. Sometimes he will smile at me in the mirror but if I don't maintain eye contact (errr have to drive!) then he loses interest.

I hope your baby is one of those that gets better.

Our baby's hatred of car rides was a factor in making the decision to move from Perth to Townsville. Our drives are all < 20 minutes now, and usually < 10 minutes.

Hate to be the naysayer... MOST babies grow out of it, but some don't, presumably till much older. Ours hasn't. sad.gif Maybe when he is older, then I might invest in a DVD player. For now, TV doesn't hold his attention, and I'm not keen on him watching TV anyway.

#9 laridae

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:25 PM

Play loud music so you can't hear it.  They grow out of it eventually!  (Plus the music does help them stop also).

#10 michelle120773

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:30 PM

Thanks ladies DS went through a similar stage but I've already tried everything that worked wth him....

I thought we were probably just going to have to wait it out sad.gif

She wont take a dummy (I've been trying since birth as it would make other things easier too) and whilst she will suck a finger DS can't quite reach her from his seat unfortnately.  

We were all a bit the same on the rare occassion she hasn't screamed in the car - it was a bit like a major event jo074

Will be keeping her RF till at least 12 months pinkpeony cause I breed light weights so she is unlikely to be of weight for turning till then and research proves that its actually safer for them to RF until at least that age despite Australian legislation only requiring it till 6 months.  In some European countries its not uncommon for 4 year olds to still be RF!

And unfortunately we live an hour from most of pur family so driving is not something we avoid!  Sorry kiddo!

Edited for weird double post thing wacko.gif

Edited by michelle120773, 05 April 2012 - 12:34 PM.

#11 chocolatecrackle

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:40 PM

Could it be motion sickness? Although I wouldn't have thought she would have been able to anticipate feeling sick at 12 weeks!  I know you can get acupressure bands for kids which sometimes help, but they would probably be too big for a baby. Worth a try, maybe?

#12 Fields of clover

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:41 PM

Another one who can sympathize - DD2 disliked the car, DD1 hated it with an ear-splitting passion.

Just food for thought, I believe DD1 was really bad due to having silent reflux. Her body position in the car seat seemed to really curl her up on that weird half-lying-back angle and of course the seat belt meant she couldn't move at all. It didn't matter if she was in the car for 5 mins for 2 hours, she almost always had to burp or (TMI warning) I could often hear her stomach contents coming up her throat, like retching, but she would swallow it back down again, gulping and crying and this often happened when she got out of the car.

We ended up having two different brand car seats (one in mine, one in DH's car) and DD1 had a definite preference for the seat in DH's car as I think it raised her up and kept her body flatter, not so hunched over.

The only thing that really helped us was time and changing to FF as really let DD1 sit upright and not be so physically uncomfortable.

Good luck, it's so hard to hear your baby cry and concentrate on traffic.

#13 boatiebabe

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:41 PM

That's right I remember also playing Jet's album REALLY LOUD in the car. For some reason he would go quiet to 'Cold Hard B*tch'. LOL!

And Sleepy Jackson would send him to sleep. Go figure! Actually any Sleepy Jackson song still sends him to sleep and he's nearly 6.

#14 flowermama

Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:51 PM

Sorry, no tips but a bit of hope, DD2 became hysterical in the car and I was a wreck driving anywhere (we had to do a 1.5 hour drive at Christmas and it was awful, even with me sitting in the back she screamed endlessly to the point that she would choke). For some reason though at 4 months she just calmed down and now actually goes to sleep in the car  original.gif We had her in a capsule to start with and she became much happier when we moved her to a regular RF car seat. Fingers crossed things improve for you too, it's a nightmare otherwise!

#15 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:14 PM

Hi...I have no words of wisdom just sympathy...DS2 is the same...we have had to take several long car trips recently ...on the freeway so you can't pull over...he screamed for about 40 minutes before eventually drifting off to sleep...it was like a kind of "forced" control crying...hope it's not as damaging as some studies apparently suggest it is (I say "apparently" as I haven't personally read the studies)

#16 roses99

Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:17 PM

Any chance she has reflux? Even silent reflux?

If so, being hunched in a carseat can exacerbate the pain. It's more of an issue in capsules though, so if you've got a convertible carseat that might not be the problem.

My DD will fall asleep in the car, but if she wakes up and we're still driving, she freaks out and screams. The ONLY thing that'll soothe her is loud music. Rock music, that is. Not loud enough to hurt her ears, but still pretty loud. She loves it.

#17 michelle120773

Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:22 PM

I was wondering about reflux Roses99, might have to ask the GP when we go next week.

Gonna try the music thing and apparently there is a white noise app you can download so might try that too!

#18 Marchioness Flea

Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:49 PM

If I had my time over again, I'd not hire a capsule but go straight for the RF convertible seat. I think the capsules squash them uncomfortably in the middle and once I had my daughter in her RF seat she actually SLEPT in the car she was so comfy.
Ours goes from birth to 18kg and I wish I'd bought it from the start.

#19 Frockme

Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:55 PM

QUOTE (Jenflea @ 05/04/2012, 02:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If I had my time over again, I'd not hire a capsule but go straight for the RF convertible seat. I think the capsules squash them uncomfortably in the middle and once I had my daughter in her RF seat she actually SLEPT in the car she was so comfy.
Ours goes from birth to 18kg and I wish I'd bought it from the start.

This! Dd hated her hired car seat, when I bought our own, it was much better. Not perfect but better.  original.gif

#20 michelle120773

Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:58 PM

I agree jenflea - I never did the caosule thing, just went straight to the rf convertible...she's in an AHR Meridian

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