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Any drs/nurses - Updated 30/4th/13 RIP mum xx
500 replies to this topic
Posted 19 April 2012 - 02:57 AM
What awesome news!! So is a glass display unit on the cards for mothers day for her?
I understand not updating this thread but make sure you write these memories down and the new memories down.
Take care and I hope your mum keeps surprising you all!
Posted 19 April 2012 - 03:26 AM
So is a glass display unit on the cards for mothers day for her?hmmmm good thinking!
Posted 19 April 2012 - 07:43 AM
I think the glass display unit for mothers day is a great idea.
Posted 21 April 2012 - 03:18 PM
WOW! What a road you have travelled this past two weeks! So glad that your Mum is much more comfortable and that there is genuine reason to hope. What a relief that the hospital staff have pulled their heads in too. All the very best for you, your Mum and your Dad. (Also hope your sister works out what the heck is going on with her health).
Posted 26 April 2012 - 12:00 AM
Insult to injury - just got security called on me for not asking 'how high' when they told me to jump. Assholes.
Mum is doing better and has been moved to a 2 bed ward and dad got kicked out 2 nights ago. So in the fray we decided dad would be there 8.30am till 1pm, sis there from 3 till 5.30, and me from 5.30 till 9 to tuck her in bed.
First day (yesterday) fine.
Today was going fine. quatre to nine I take mum to the loo and help her with her teeth etc. get her back to the bed. Just putting her legs in to the bed and the night nurse (just on) walks in.
Mum says hello, as do i. I say 'oh its strange, mum had hydromorph an hour ago but she still has pain and her breathing is still laboured.'
Nurse looks at me really seriously and says 'um visiting hours are over, you have to go'..
I was taken aback, but I said 'yea ok im just getting mum in to bed (still had mums legs in my hands)'.
she goes 'um no, I will do that, its time you left'...
I was quite shocked and just said 'no, I will leave when I have tucked mum in'...
she goes 'fine I will get security' and leaves the room
I was holding back the tears, because I knew it upset mum and I didn't want our last moments to be negative. I put her pillow behind her head and was putting one under her arm when the NUM walks in.
She asks whats going on I said 'im just tucking my mum in and leaving. the nurse who left the room a minute ago was so rude!'
She says 'thats because visiting hours are over and you have to leave'
Im like 'ok, first i've heard, we've been caring for mum the whole time she has been in, and as I said to that nurse I am just finishing up and then leaving'
she says 'WHEN are you leaving??'
I said 'what part of what I said don't you understand?'
She says 'who says I don't understand?'
I said 'what the hell is going on here? Im tucking my mum in and leaving'
She said 'no need to be like that, your mum is already IN bed so why are you still here?'
I cant believe what she just said! I try to think of something useful to say, as it was just so pointless rude and argumentative.. I say 'I am getting pretty angry at whats happening! If you wanna have a debate with me, can you wait a minute and I will come out there so it doesn't upset my mum?'
She said 'so you are angry? OK'... walks out and calls security!
The whole time I still had mums hand in mine and putting the pillow under her arm!
I tried to stay calm for mums sake. I got her two bed side tables and made sure she could reach the buzzer, phone, water, etc... which makes her feel secure. Kissed her on the head and left saying Its OK to her as she looked so worried!
Walking out I saw the security guards who I see every day as I am there every day. I asked if they just got called to the ward, they say yea. I said Dont worry it was for me because I was tucking my mum in to bed!
I just wanted to bawl my eyes out Absolutely uncalled for and spiteful. Can't believe it
Posted 26 April 2012 - 02:06 AM
God HM, what a crazy journey this has been
There's just no words for how the hospital has treated your mum and you and your family. Just so wrong.
Freo - can't stand that hospital. Had chest pains recently (have a heart condition) and when told I was going to an ER said bugger off instead because I was not going there. Unfortunately not much better treatment at a private hospital ER with a crazy doctor who was convinced, with all my heart problems, I must have arthritis in the neck causing chest pain lol - even though I said my neck is fine, she had $230 worth of x-rays ordered to prove it wasn't and of course she was wrong. So what I'm saying is I guess there are bad ones all over the place. Have found a bad share in cardios also. But to treat you with such disrespect when you are just caring for your mother? I really think you need to put in a complaint about those latest ones.
Your an awesome daughter and your Mum sounds like a gorgeous lady
Hoping she keeps turning that corner and improving even more
Posted 26 April 2012 - 02:19 AM
Thanks BB and risa
But to treat you with such disrespect when you are just caring for your mother? I really think you need to put in a complaint about those latest ones.
thats basically how I am feeling. Actually I am feeling royally sorry for myself (seperately to mums dodgy treatment) about the treatment at the hospital over the past 3 weeks or so. It must sound like a total victim mentality but seriously there have been a number of doozy terrible things, against myself AND my mum. I am so upset
Edited by HillmanMinx, 26 April 2012 - 02:20 AM.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 05:12 AM
Hillmanminx, I've been lurking here but not commented until today.
I wanted to urge you to write a letter to the public relations part of the hospital involved (is it freo?) and tell them what has gone on. Its just not cool. I can't believe a nurse would call security when you were tucking your mum into bed
I'm a nurse and that just makes me ashamed, its a horrible way to treat someone. Please write the letter, let the hospital, the managers and everyone else know that its just not on.
I'm glad you're mum is doing better tho.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:40 AM
No not freo. I'll be writing to them and CC'ing the minister for health and freaking anyone else I can think of now. That was the last straw
Edited by HillmanMinx, 26 April 2012 - 09:40 AM.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:33 AM
Wow, sounds like they handled this all soooo badly. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
The only thing I can think of is that they aren't aware of just how much you are doing for your mother. I can understand them needing you to leave - once you are in a shared room situation they need to enforce the rules for everyone. Someone needs to take over what you are doing to help care for your mother, if they don't want you there.
But the way they went about it was disgraceful
Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:48 AM
HM I am another who has lurked mostly - I did post early in the piece.
I was away for a couple of weeks and I was so happy to come back and read that miraculously your mother was getting better - I was so happy for all of you!
My mother passed away almost a year ago and got some of the most God awful treatment from doctors and nurses. She had a 10cm cancer tumor growing into her stomach, lungs, diaphragm etc that somehow no test could find - despite her unutterable pain.
She was told it was all in her head - the doctors and nurses were indifferent, rude and difficult etc etc so I do know some of what you are feeling. Miraculously they finally found what was up and then for the three days before she died they all turned really lovely. Anyway that's my baggage.
Hearing this from you now makes me so ANGRY and sad for you and your mum. What on earth is wrong with these people???? Anything I can write up or research for you (contacting media about your plight), I am willing to do for you so that you can concentrate on your mum.
I am so upset that I am here crying at my computer. It is so wrong! Can I do anything to help?
Posted 26 April 2012 - 11:02 AM
Here I was thinking 'No news is good news'. It's great news that your mum is doing so much better, is it getting to the point where coming home is on the cards? Hopefully, so the sooner you are out of that s*it hole of a hospital, the better.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 11:12 AM
boatiebabe - no nothing hun, but thank you for the offer. I am SO sorry to read what your mother and you went through - it is terrible
I can understand them needing you to leave - once you are in a shared room situation they need to enforce the rules for everyone.
Yea I would have been happy to finish up and leave and rejig our roster to suit the nurses or rules etc... a chance would have been a fine thing. Politely notifying me of whatever and giving me a moment to finish up what I was doing would have been fine.
This nurse and her NUM had no intention of being reasonable they both had an issue with me even though I had never seen or spoken to either before. It appeared very spiteful to me, I can only think that they listened to staffroom gossip about what went on last week/week before.
I was stunned at their attitude and calling the security guards was pure malice, not at all done to achieve a reasonable outcome or due to danger etc.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 11:15 AM
Here I was thinking 'No news is good news'.It is too Mums heart is still in terrible shape of course and she still has masses of fluid (she is usually 50 kg but looks like a size 20 from the waist down and can barely weight bare on her legs), even though she is back on frusemide - its not shifting. She is still seriously ill but MUCH better than 2 weeks ago and she may be able to come home next week.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 08:58 PM
Hillman Minx - did you ever get to see a Social Worker? Or the patient advocate?
I can understand them wanting the rules to be followed "out in the open" but they obviously failed bedside manner 101 in the last (and the prior and the prior...) instance.
hugs to you and your family.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 11:52 PM
What the hell is wrong with these people?
There is a way to approach these things - if they don't like someone being there, they could bring it up at a better time....
PLEASE, try and get to a social worker/patient advocate.
Just found this list of contacts with Freo patient liaison contact details on -
Write them an email - outline your requests have been ignored by staff and this is your final attempt before going to the Ombudsman. That your mothers treatment has been lacking and botched multiple times, and that staff behavior has been rude etc.
Good thing you have this thread as a reference of events
Posted 27 April 2012 - 12:55 AM
Mum may come home soon so I am just going to leave it and deal with it all when I have the time. I really want them to address my/mums swag of experiences and say how they are going to change things to avoid them in the future.
Hillman Minx - did you ever get to see a Social Worker? Or the patient advocate?No she never bothered to come see me and I was over chasing and begging so I thought whatever, lets see if she ever follows up. She has not.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 08:20 AM
The system has really let you and your mother down . I really hope your sharing with us has the side benefit of being a good record of all the many avoidable nasties you encountered!
Fingers crossed your mum is home soon and you can have a break for a while!
Posted 27 April 2012 - 05:56 PM
Hospice, Complex Care, Rehab in the home, HACC, all sorted and should start next week!
Now to find mum a geriatrician, get her eyes and teeth sorted (both gone down hill) and find a way to adjust to our new life.
One minor irk was that she isn't going to get wound care even though she has a sacral would (its healing nicely) and her legs are still (loaded with fluid) raw, weeping and heavily bandaged. I have no issue doing it but it would have been good to have someone come through and make sure they are going OK.
Aside from that, the discharge today went well and I am happy to see the back of the hospital thats for sure. As is mum Not to mention she has come home fairly well and in good spirits and not dead
Edited by HillmanMinx, 27 April 2012 - 05:59 PM.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 06:35 PM
Can you get Silver Chain to do Nursing cares for your Mum at home??
I can't believe you can't get help for wound care in the home.. thats pretty bad discharge planning.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 07:15 PM
I can't believe you can't get help for wound care in the home.. thats pretty bad discharge planning.They said her legs aren't wounds! They are packed up and bandaged from toe to upper shin, raw red and weeping CLEAR fluid and the fact that its clear fluid means it isn't a 'wound' apparently. And the sacral wound is healing and now that she is moving better, should get better. I got the nurse to double check whether we could have some help and no.
Silver chain hospice just called and gave us their 24 hour number to call them if mum needs additional pain medicine etc. They said she was discharged with hydromorphone I said NO the hospital said hospice would deal with that. She said no hospital should have discharged mum with it...
She called the hospital to sort it out and now the hospital are saying they PUT A LARGE BOTTLE OF DILORDIT (sp) IN MY HANDS ON DISCHARGE! I don't even know what that is but it must be hydromorphone or something because its a schedule 8 drug. They did not give me that nor mention it nor is it on mums discharge papers. They sent me home with 2 pages of scripts (non dilordit) and 5 sleeping pills, 3 fentynyl patches and a bottle of lactulol. Its still in the packaging as I haven't had chance to open it!
**** still getting issues with the hospital NOW!
Posted 27 April 2012 - 07:19 PM
just googled, its Dilaudid and it is hydromorphone. As if they just handed that to me without any instructions and with it being the only drug not listed on any of her paperwork!
Edited by HillmanMinx, 27 April 2012 - 07:24 PM.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 07:32 PM
sorted. I didn't take off with a schedule 8 drug and deny it LOL - the NUM on the medical ward is currently asking the doctor to write a script for it which i will go pick up.
Posted 27 April 2012 - 11:15 PM
Turns out it wasn't sorted, the doctors at the hospital couldn't decide whether or not she should have it. Their solution was to write the script but I was not to pick it up tonight but if it turns out she could have used it then I could pick it up tomorrow, maybe, depending on whether someone else said something else about it in the meantime ... in other words, the doctor on duty didn't have enough confidence and authority to make a decision, even after discussions with the junior doctors on mums case... again - wtf is wrong at that hospital?
Anyway I didn't argue it I just thought oh FFS screw it we will hold out till I find my mum a decent GP and hope in the meantime she doesn't go downhill.
BUT the silver chain nurse wasn't having any of that! She stepped in, contacted her own doc who organised a script and had it filled for me at a local chemist. That was all done from 100 kms away by people who are totally remote to us - versus the hospital full of staff who couldn't decide their way out of a paper bag. Sorry, I've had it with that place.
But yay for silver chain Lets hope we don't need the medicine now. But its good to have it as a line of action if mum starts struggling.
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