Jump to content
Overwhelmed - second miscarriage
10 replies to this topic
Posted 03 April 2012 - 03:29 PM
We've just experienced our second miscarriage in the space of four months, losing our little one at six weeks. I know that's not very far along, but we were so excited, so looking forward to this journey...
I'm angry and sad and scared and frustrated and p*ssed off and resentful and tired and and and.... all natural I know. Right now I just want to hibernate, eat junk food and watch crap TV. I had an u/s yesterday, and everything is clear, so thankfully there's no need for any extra treatment. My doctor is also being awesome and ordering blood tests to start trying to work out if there's an underlying reason - everyone told me they wouldn't until we'd had three, but luckily she took a different stance. Of course, I know that there may be no good reason at all, that it may just be one of those things (twice!) for us, but at least it will put our minds at rest.
Posted 03 April 2012 - 07:43 PM
I'm so sorry you are going through this.... I just had a miscarriage over a week ago now and I don't think I could go through that again. I wouldnt wish it on ANYONE.. I hope you are okay. Maybe take a few days off work and do nothing and eat junk hehe.. I don't think I have ever cried in my life as much as I did for those few weeks I was miscarrying.. It was so sad.
It's great to hear your doctor is so supportive and glad to hear everything is clear.
Posted 03 April 2012 - 09:14 PM
Im so sorry you're going through this Clare
We had a miscarriage a month ago and it's just a terrible feeling! I still feel emotional and am just waiting for this feeling to go away. We wanted this babe so much but I hate feeling like this
I too havent cried as much as I have over the last month.
Posted 03 April 2012 - 09:22 PM
I'm so sorry for your losses. I really feel for you. I lost 6 babies (one pregnancy was twins) and took 4 years of solid ttc before I had my DS last October. I had a lot of complications, IVF, injections every day for 14 weeks, etc etc. I too, did what you want to do. Eat junk food, watch TV and read. Basically, I wanted to escape reality.
I really hope you start to feel better soon. Although, it's very normal to be up and down for quite some time. Make sure you do what you need to do to feel better. Thinking of you.
Posted 04 April 2012 - 08:34 AM
Thank you so much ladies,
Wishing2011 - I hope you are looking after yourself too. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this too. There's a lot of junk being eaten, trust me! And work are being very supportive, basically just letting me come in and out as I please.
melzy02 - I'm sorry you're having to deal with this too. Grief takes time I think - be gentle with yourself.
~Panda~ - I'm so happy you now have your gorgeous little DS. Escaping reality sounds pretty good right now. We're just taking it one day at a time.
Posted 04 April 2012 - 09:33 AM
I'm so glad your work is being supportive. I wasn't going to tell my work but I kept having to take time off for blood tests, ultrasounds and then the days that I just wasnt coping.. So after we had it confirmed DH called my team leader and told her in confidence. So only she knows.. And she was great about it all. Sounds like she has gone through a few herself by what she was telling me. So it helps when work is supportive.
Posted 04 April 2012 - 09:43 AM
I am so sorry for you. Almost hope there is something (basic) wrong in the bloods so they can treat and you feel like you are doing something. That was my issue - the unknown. I was so thankful after the 2nd when they tested the remains and found something wrong.
After my first one my ob put me on progesterone for the next pregnancy which was great as it made me feel we wee doing something (this wasn't based on any bloods or anything saying I haven low progesterone she just said it was a little extra support). We lost that but it eas chromosomes so nothing to be done then this one she has doubled the dose so I feel very "supported".
I am glad they are doing bloods etc now no-one should have to go through this 3 times before something gets done. I was angry mainly "I don't want to have to start all over again" and "between 2 pregnancies I have done a first trimester this year and nothing to show for it". I would also make sure I enjoyed selecting a nice bottle of wine to chill in the fridge basically as soon as I found out.
Take care and look after yourself
Posted 04 April 2012 - 03:53 PM
Wishing2011 - I wasn't going to tell mine either, but DP convinced me. And I have to say, for a mid-fifties childfree man, my boss coped exceptionally well when I told him! I'm glad your team leader is being supportive too.
franno - your OB sounds great. And I agree - it's feeling like you're 'doing something' that's important for me. Otherwise I just feel so powerless. My GP has a suspicion it might be to do with my thyroid, so in a way I'm hoping the tests confirm that and then that risk factor can be treated - one thing taken out of the equation as it were. And yes - I'm going to enjoy some nice wine this weekend!
Posted 04 April 2012 - 06:12 PM
I am so sorry you are experiencing this pain.
Do whatever you want in the near future to get through this heartache, I know hard hard it is since I expeeeinced two stillbirths in 7 months two years ago.
You might of only been 6 weeks but in the short time you knew you were pregnant you would of made a lot of plans in your head of what your pregnancy would be like, you had dreams for your baby and hopes for a new life growing in you. All this has been taken from you, so grieve how you want for as long as it takes
Posted 05 April 2012 - 08:24 AM
rubylilysmum - thank you for your love and kind words. DP and I are taking it one day at a time.
Posted 05 April 2012 - 08:40 AM
Sorry to hear your story Clare.
Make sure you take the time you need to grieve. Enjoy eating whatever you want and have a few drinks if it wil help. I made sure I ate all those foods that were forbidden in pregnancy, Brie and salami etc. Not sure why but ths made me feel better.
Something that helped me, and it might not be for you but I thought I'd share it. I gave myself a set amount of time to wallow in the grief I was feeling then i chose a day when I was going to try and pull myself back together.
On the designated day I made a new commitment that I was going to do everything I could to be as healthy as possible and give myself the best chance I could to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. so I committed to a gentle exercise regime, made sure I was eating super healthy, started acupuncture and a regular time each day for meditation.
I found this helped me to refocus and be positive and also felt like I was 'doing' something proactive iykwim.
Take care op, m/c is the cruelest thing.
2 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users
Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.
I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.
There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.
The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.
More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.
A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.
There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.
Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.
Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.
Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.
Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.
Sheryl Sandberg's advice
Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.
The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.
For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.
Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.
The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.
We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?
A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.
Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?
Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.
The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!
If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.
It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.
When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?
Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.
Top 5 Articles
Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.
A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.
Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.
With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!
Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.
There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.
When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.
A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.
Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.
If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.
According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.
Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.
Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.
An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.
A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
Sign up now!
Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.