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Overwhelmed - second miscarriage

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#1 Clare L

Posted 03 April 2012 - 03:29 PM

Hi everyone,

We've just experienced our second miscarriage in the space of four months, losing our little one at six weeks. I know that's not very far along, but we were so excited, so looking forward to this journey...

I'm angry and sad and scared and frustrated and p*ssed off and resentful and tired and and and.... all natural I know. Right now I just want to hibernate, eat junk food and watch crap TV. I had an u/s yesterday, and everything is clear, so thankfully there's no need for any extra treatment. My doctor is also being awesome and ordering blood tests to start trying to work out if there's an underlying reason - everyone told me they wouldn't until we'd had three, but luckily she took a different stance. Of course, I know that there may be no good reason at all, that it may just be one of those things (twice!) for us, but at least it will put our minds at rest.


#2 Wishing2011

Posted 03 April 2012 - 07:43 PM

I'm so sorry you are going through this.... I just had a miscarriage over a week ago now and I don't think I could go through that again. I wouldnt wish it on ANYONE.. I hope you are okay. Maybe take a few days off work and do nothing and eat junk hehe.. I don't think I have ever cried in my life as much as I did for those few weeks I was miscarrying.. It was so sad.

It's great to hear your doctor is so supportive and glad to hear everything is clear. hhugs.gif

#3 melzy02

Posted 03 April 2012 - 09:14 PM

Im so sorry you're going through this Clare  sad.gif
We had a miscarriage a month ago and it's just a terrible feeling! I still feel emotional and am just waiting for this feeling to go away. We wanted this babe so much but I hate feeling like this  sad.gif  
I too havent cried as much as I have over the last month.

#4 ~Panda~

Posted 03 April 2012 - 09:22 PM

I'm so sorry for your losses. I really feel for you. I lost 6 babies (one pregnancy was twins) and took 4 years of solid ttc before I had my DS last October. I had a lot of complications, IVF, injections every day for 14 weeks, etc etc. I too, did what you want to do. Eat junk food, watch TV and read. Basically, I wanted to escape reality.

I really hope you start to feel better soon. Although, it's very normal to be up and down for quite some time. Make sure you do what you need to do to feel better. Thinking of you.

#5 Clare L

Posted 04 April 2012 - 08:34 AM

Thank you so much ladies,

Wishing2011 - I hope you are looking after yourself too. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this too. There's a lot of junk being eaten, trust me! wink.gif And work are being very supportive, basically just letting me come in and out as I please.

melzy02 - I'm sorry you're having to deal with this too. Grief takes time I think - be gentle with yourself.

~Panda~ - I'm so happy you now have your gorgeous little DS. Escaping reality sounds pretty good right now. We're just taking it one day at a time.


#6 Wishing2011

Posted 04 April 2012 - 09:33 AM

I'm so glad your work is being supportive. I wasn't going to tell my work but I kept having to take time off for blood tests, ultrasounds and then the days that I just wasnt coping.. So after we had it confirmed DH called my team leader and told her in confidence. So only she knows.. And she was great about it all. Sounds like she has gone through a few herself by what she was telling me. So it helps when work is supportive.

Panda hi waves.gif

#7 franno

Posted 04 April 2012 - 09:43 AM

Hey Clare,

I am so sorry for you. Almost hope there is something (basic) wrong in the bloods so they can treat and you feel like you are doing something. That was my issue - the unknown. I was so thankful after the 2nd when they tested the remains and found something wrong.
After my first one my ob put me on progesterone for the next pregnancy which was great as it made me feel we wee doing something (this wasn't based on any bloods or anything saying I haven low progesterone she just said it was a little extra support). We lost that but it eas chromosomes so nothing to be done then this one she has doubled the dose so I feel very "supported".

I am glad they are doing bloods etc now no-one should have to go through this 3 times before something gets done. I was angry mainly "I don't want to have to start all over again" and "between 2 pregnancies I have done a first trimester this year and nothing to show for it". I would also make sure I enjoyed selecting a nice bottle of wine to chill in the fridge basically as soon as I found out.

Take care and look after yourself

#8 Clare L

Posted 04 April 2012 - 03:53 PM

Wishing2011 - I wasn't going to tell mine either, but DP convinced me. And I have to say, for a mid-fifties childfree man, my boss coped exceptionally well when I told him! original.gif I'm glad your team leader is being supportive too.

franno - your OB sounds great. And I agree - it's feeling like you're 'doing something' that's important for me. Otherwise I just feel so powerless. My GP has a suspicion it might be to do with my thyroid, so in a way I'm hoping the tests confirm that and then that risk factor can be treated - one thing taken out of the equation as it were. And yes - I'm going to enjoy some nice wine this weekend!


#9 flyingfree

Posted 04 April 2012 - 06:12 PM

I am so sorry you are experiencing this pain.

Do whatever you want in the near future to get through this heartache, I know hard hard  it is since I expeeeinced two stillbirths in 7 months two years ago.
You might of only been 6 weeks but in the short time you knew you were pregnant you would of made a lot of plans in your head of what your pregnancy would be like, you had dreams for your baby and hopes for a new life growing in you.  All this has been taken from you, so grieve how you want for as long as it takes

#10 Clare L

Posted 05 April 2012 - 08:24 AM

rubylilysmum - thank you for your love and kind words. DP and I are taking it one day at a time.


#11 Libertine

Posted 05 April 2012 - 08:40 AM

Sorry to hear your story Clare.

Make sure you take the time you need to grieve. Enjoy eating whatever you want and have a few drinks if it wil help. I made sure I ate all those foods that were forbidden in pregnancy, Brie and salami etc. Not sure why but ths made me feel better.

Something that helped me, and it might not be for you but I thought I'd share it. I gave myself a set amount of time to wallow in the grief I was feeling then i chose a day when I was going to try and pull myself back together.

On the designated day I made a new commitment that I was going to do everything I could to be as healthy as possible and give myself the best chance I could to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. so I committed to a gentle exercise regime, made sure I was eating super healthy, started acupuncture and a regular time each day for meditation.

I found this helped me to refocus and be positive and also felt like I was 'doing' something proactive iykwim.

Take care op, m/c is the cruelest thing.

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