Jump to content

Failing at life!
(This should probably be a vent ...)


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 onyerbikeluv

Posted 03 April 2012 - 09:50 AM

Ever feel like you're just failing at life? I'm having one of those days - no weeks - no months - actually it's a few months now...

- I've been putting on a lot of weight (I am pregnant but the weight is getting out of control), and I literally have NO pants that fit. I've got dodgy hips during pregnancy (unstable pelvis) so exercise is painful. I'm in skirts only now, and have to wait till next pay day to buy anything new.  PANTS FAIL.
- DD stopped sleeping well at the start of the year, and it's slowly killing me. I'm so tired all the time, and even bringing her into our bed isn't working as she's started trying to sleep on my head. Yep, my head. SLEEP FAIL.
- Because I'm so tired I'm finding work really really hard, and not getting everything done. I go home each day having spent too long on EB because I can't focus for long on anything that requires brain power. My boss's patience must be wearing thin. WORK FAIL.
- Then to top it off I really upset my MIL yesterday by pointing out a few things that were happening that I was finding in conflict with how I want to bring up DD. I really love my MIL and we're really close, so I thought that honesty would be the best policy, which it is - but I obviously went about it the wrong way because she ended up in tears and needs some space from me, and I don't know how to fix it. FAMILY FAIL.

It just seems like I can't do anything right lately, and I just want to hide away for a week and stop messing everything up!

How do you re-set yourself when you're having a bad patch? I'm hoping it's hormonal but I'm just feeling out of control at the moment, and don't know how to get back on track.

#2 RichardParker

Posted 03 April 2012 - 10:06 AM

Hang in there.  I'll join you in the failing at life, if it helps.   original.gif I've been failing for a few years, now.  I think everyone goes through a patch where they feel like it's all out of control.  Just tackle one thing at a time.

Edited by GreenBagCat, 03 April 2012 - 10:06 AM.


#3 gabbigirl

Posted 03 April 2012 - 11:09 AM

QUOTE
I think everyone goes through a patch where they feel like it's all out of control. Just tackle one thing at a time

totally agree.  and sometimes it can come in patches.

I did notice that your daughter is not sleeping well, and hence you're not sleeping well.  Sleep deprivation and pregnancy.  tough mix.  I found that when I was sleep deprived (mine lasted for two yeras as my 2yo has only now started to sleep without waking 5+ times a night.) i was a different person, I look back and don't recognise the cranky, negative ,  demotivated person I became.  I'm not totally back to normal but getting there.  And I'm grateful that my husband didn't leave me, not sure if I'd be as kind as him if treated in the same way.

anyways, just an idea.  

Another idea, is to try and list some good things that have happened.  we can sometimes get overwhelmed by all the negativity.  even if its a small thing like cooking a lovely dinner every night, or keeping the  household organised.  geez, sometimes I even applaud myself for cleaning out a cupboard.  Low expectations help wink.gif

good luck.

#4 onyerbikeluv

Posted 03 April 2012 - 11:28 AM

Thanks, I think you are both right, and it's definitely sleep deprivation as the root cause - you described it perfectly as "demotivated" is probably what's making everything seem so hard. I just don't have the energy to put into anything besides looking after DD lately.

I actually can't remember feeling alert and energetic since falling pregnant with DD who is now 2 - it just gets to you after a while I guess. I'm hoping so bad that the next one is a good snoozer. Anyway, thanks, it is good to hear that I might actually get my life back at some stage, it does feel like existing rather than living when you're tired.

A new pair of pants is the first thing I'm going to tackle - surely life feels less chaotic when you own a pair of fitting pants, right?

#5 Rach42

Posted 03 April 2012 - 11:38 AM

I definitely know the feeling of failing at life - I feel like that alot of the time.  I know I don't cope well with extended sleep deprivation and being pregnant on top of that would probably do me in.  And then trying to deal with work as well - yeesh.  sad.gif

What I do (or try and remember to do!) when I am having a really rough patch is let myself feel sorry for myself for a little while (really have a good cry/wallow for a few hours or an afternoon) and then get my journal out and write down everything that is "wrong" and then ask myself can I fix it/change it and if so how.

Things like with the pants you know you can get some next pay day so that is good. Is it possible to take a day or so off work?  Can you get someone to look after DD to catch up on sleep?  And the situation with your MIL - you have the right to raise any issues concerning your DD and unless you did that in a mean way (which I'm sure you didn't) if your MIL has taken it so badly it's not your fault.  I know my mum gets very defensive if I suggest she does something different and it doesn't seem to matter how I say it!

Anyway I guess we need to remind ourselves that we are not failing at life at all - we are raising our families to the best of our ability.  Hang in there original.gif

#6 oNeLoVe

Posted 03 April 2012 - 11:43 AM

I'd be very careful about work.  If you're spending all day on EB instead of actually working, you might end up with an even bigger work fail.

#7 niggles

Posted 03 April 2012 - 11:54 AM

My answer to the way through these patches is to be compassionate with yourself. It's the simplest though often hardest thing to do. On the flip side, beating yourself up about it degrades your motivation to start living how you want to live. Go easy on yourself, accept that you're in a hard place and recognise how you got here. Then spend some time thinking about how you'd like to respond to the challenges your life is giving you. You'll get there.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.