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Getting into a routine and teaching Self settling
with second child

7 replies to this topic

#1 Mummy Em

Posted 02 April 2012 - 03:31 PM

Dd1 was a pretty attrocious sleeper and we did what we could to get her to sleep including co-sleeping and feeding to sleep (or letting her hang off me all night just to keep her in bed).

Dd2 is a different kettle of fish, although I am currently finding some aspects of her sleep not ideal, I never worry whether she is physically getting enough sleep. So I'd like to focus on getting her into better habits.

However I haven't successfully done this before! I know the theory that most experts ascribe to involves getting baby to self settle in the cot. I'm not going to leave dd2 to cry alone, that is non-negotiable. So for those who started out staying with bub until they fall asleep, I have some questions about the logistics.

1) How do you get comfortable whilst patting and shushing? We started out with the porta-cot in my bedroom but, although I got her to sleep in there a handful of times, my back really suffered. I feel the bassinet insert in the porta cot is not safe enough, as the base is not flat and the matress kind of crumples where the joins are where the mattress folds (stupid design). I have put the porta-cot away and put the mat from it on the floor so that I can lounge on the floor next to her whilst settling her, but then dd1 comes in and walks all over it, followed by the dog. So that isn't such a great solution.

2) Dd1 tends to walk in chatting her noggin off, just as I've got dd2 almost asleep. I'm starting to get across to her that she needs to entertain herself whilst I settle dd2, by warning her before hand that I am going to get Tegan to sleep and she can either play in her playroom or go into her bedroom (but not come into my bedroom!) Any other suggestions?

3)What do you do when you spend 20 mins settling them and then they wake after just 10 mins? Other than lose your mind lol. Do you think it is ok to aim to get them to settle in their bed the first time and then do whatever to resettle them? Dd2 settles very happily on her own in her electric swing, so if she doesn't sleep long I often put her in that.

4) How do you get your child into a regular routine? What if you are out for a few hours almost every day, does that matter? We are usually only at home 2 - 3 full days a week as dd1 needs a lot of entertainment and stimulation or she gets silly and destructive.

I think that is all of my questions. TIA

#2 Mummy Em

Posted 03 April 2012 - 03:59 PM

Oh, how depressing. No advice.

#3 *mylittleprince*

Posted 03 April 2012 - 04:03 PM

How old is your child? That's the most important starting point.

How many sleeps a day?
How long overnight?
Do you have a sleep routine?


For 2) It depends on the no of sleep DD2 is having but I would try set up a snack/activity that DD1 can do by herself to keep her occupied - drawing, puzzles, DVD if appropriate, etc.

Edited by *mylittleprince*, 03 April 2012 - 04:05 PM.

#4 Mummy Em

Posted 03 April 2012 - 11:24 PM

QUOTE (*mylittleprince* @ 03/04/2012, 04:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How old is your child? That's the most important starting point.

How many sleeps a day?
How long overnight?
Do you have a sleep routine?


For 2) It depends on the no of sleep DD2 is having but I would try set up a snack/activity that DD1 can do by herself to keep her occupied - drawing, puzzles, DVD if appropriate, etc.

Lol sorry! She is 4 months. Elder one almost 3.

She has 3 - 4 sleeps, is a bit prone to catnapping.

Not much of a routine. blush.gif I have a fair idea how long she goes between sleeps, and whether she slept long enough at the last sleep or if she'll be tired sooner due to a shorter nap. Sleeps approx 10 hours overnight with 2 - 4 wakes.

I was hoping teaching her to self settle might help her sleep a little longer and help regulate her routine.

Edited by Mummy Em, 04 April 2012 - 12:49 AM.

#5 fuzzybear

Posted 07 April 2012 - 11:24 AM

My situation sounds a lot like your and I have been trying to get my LO to self settle for a couple of weeks now and I am starting to see some progress

1. I don't pat and shush so I can't help you with this one, I feed him until he is drowsy them say good night and leave as long as his is happy enough I stay away for however long it takes if he starts to get agitated I try again if it does not work again I will just put him to sleep the normal way but we are getting to to work now more often than it doesn't

2. with my older one we bought her 3 of her favorite show on DVD and I put one on when I start this seems to work for the most part - though they do sometimes have the worst timing don't they

3. my DS sleeps anywhere from 1 cycle to 3 for his naps and if its his maday sleep and he wakes after only 1 cycle I do whatever it takes to get him back to sleep otherwise he just gets overtired and it makes the rest of the sleeps for the day impossible

we don't really have a routine either as I try to get out once a day the morning is always whatever happens happens but the arvo I try to get the last nap of the day around the same time and bedtime is always the same

good luck I hope you start to see some progress with your DD soon biggrin.gif

#6 Spartacus

Posted 07 April 2012 - 11:37 AM

QUOTE (Mummy Em @ 04/04/2012, 12:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not much of a routine. blush.gif I have a fair idea how long she goes between sleeps, and whether she slept long enough at the last sleep or if she'll be tired sooner due to a shorter nap.

Sounds like an awesome routine to me! It would be crazy to insist on some set length of awake time regardless of whether she looked tired or not.

I used TV for my older child when I was trying to get the baby to sleep.

Can you put the mattress up on a change table or your bed or something when the baby's not on it?

#7 Lucygoosey1

Posted 07 April 2012 - 06:51 PM

When my DD2 was about that age, I started putting her in bassinet for naps.  She was tired about 90mins after she woke, so I'd put her in a grobag, rock her a bit - till she closed her eyes, then put her down.  The grobag has become a sleep cue now.  My DD1 was under 2 at the time, so she'd either be there or playing nearby.  I'd do the same thing as long as we were home.  She never really protested so can't really help with your other q's. But some sort of comforter is a good start.

#8 Mummy Em

Posted 07 April 2012 - 11:46 PM

Thankyou ladies!

QUOTE (fuzzybear @ 07/04/2012, 12:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
1. I don't pat and shush so I can't help you with this one, I feed him until he is drowsy them say good night and leave as long as his is happy enough I stay away for however long it takes if he starts to get agitated I try again if it does not work again I will just put him to sleep the normal way but we are getting to to work now more often than it doesn't

So just to clarify, Fuzzybear, you get him drowsy, put him down and leave, if he gets upset you pick him up and try to get him drowsy again and repeat?

Sparticus - derr! Why did I not think of that? I'll pick the mattress up when it's not in use. Baby brain or what!

-nic- I would like to get her a gro-bag or similar, I must get onto that.

Thankyou everyone. That has actually been really helpful.

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