Jump to content

I'm finally seeing results with DS's ADHD
May be a bit Braggy but I've worked hard!


  • Please log in to reply
17 replies to this topic

#1 brookeandbaby

Posted 31 March 2012 - 09:14 PM

Hi All, just wanted to share my little bit of good news. Earlier in the year we were having major issues with DS 6  who has ADHD, at home and at school . I (and XH as much as possible) got really involved with the school and the SEP teachers and worked with them.
XH got it in his head the DS should live with him full time for a while to sort it out. I knew this wouldn't work for a few reasons, 1. XH can't take him to school as he starts work early so had to drop him to me at 6.30am anyway and 2/ I knew he doesn't follow through with discipline and behavior management as much as I did. But, it was a case of not shooting his suggestion down straight away, pick my battles and be fair in co-parenting, if he thought it was what was needed I felt I had to let him try.
1.5 weeks it lasted and after consultation with the paediatrician and the school I talked to XH and explained it wasn't working, there was too much back and forth and that he needed to come and stay at home Monday - Friday (he could go to XH's for dinner a couple of nights a week but had to come home to his own bed and our set routine (I have a DD as well, both are at school).
Well, 2 months later and with my super strict routine in place the progress has been wonderful!! It's nearly killed me keeping it up but so worth it. Not every day is a "good" day but now there are so many more good then bad.
I even took tips from watching the Super Nanny and implemented them (rewards charts) and the kids are so in tune with it. They understand it, follow it, get excited about it and understand the good behavior means a "smiley face" on the chart and at the end of the week there could be a reward (which I make sure aren't material but rather a visit to a new park or a trip to the movies).
So tonight my mother said that she had visited my sister who See's DD and DS through XH (not me, we aren't very close) and that she commented she couldn't believe the change in DS and Mum told her that she has seen first hand the routine and discipline I have put in place and followed though with and how much it has help.
OK. I know this has turned into a total brag session, I do apologize but I'm just so happy, happy for us all. Life is so much better now there are less "episodes" and it's nice to know all the work I'm putting in is paying off, I have a happier boy and family and that's all I wanted.
Thanks for reading original.gif

#2 intd242

Posted 31 March 2012 - 09:22 PM

That's great news! original.gif would be interested in knowing a bit more about your routine if you're ok sharing. original.gif

#3 papilio

Posted 31 March 2012 - 09:22 PM

Well done!  You certainly have every right to brag!

#4 bubble-o

Posted 31 March 2012 - 09:22 PM

That sounds wonderful!! Good on you OP, you should be massively proud of yourself for this, it mustn't have been easy. And it isn't a brag session, I think all of us would benefit from highlighting our achievements from time to time.

I hope things stay on this positive track! Keep it up

#5 *Finn*

Posted 31 March 2012 - 09:26 PM

Thats wonderful news op you should be extremely proud of yourself and your DS and DD.

#6 brookeandbaby

Posted 31 March 2012 - 09:59 PM

QUOTE (intd242 @ 31/03/2012, 09:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's great news! original.gif would be interested in knowing a bit more about your routine if you're ok sharing. original.gif

Thanks so much! I guess it's just what most parents do but (You may know if you have a child with ADHD) those routines take a fair bit more to make happen with these kids.
There's also the fact that I co-parent with XH so it was about getting stability in what was happening there.
Honestly when I lay out what I've done, most parents might probably think, "yeah whats the big deal" simple. But it hasn't been! lol
So the first thing I did was get the stability happening. Set schedule for the kids on school days, like I said, home every school night, the back and forth was really effecting him and the pead pointed that out.
I use to say 7.30 bed time but then it would be another hour of actually getting him to stay in his room, he would want me to lay with him, keep coming out or yelling from his room. I was going back and forth between him and DD and it was a nightmare. So I moved bedtime forward to 7pm and he is allowed 30 minutes with books or his leappad or me reading a story but "Mummy does not lay with him anymore" and after kisses and cuddles thats it, no coming out of his room. This took a while to make happen but I just kept walking him back into his room over and over and over. Oh and also i make sure there is no hyper activity after 6pm, to get him on the wind down, quiet activities only.
Morning I have put a clock in his room with stickers to point out 6.30am and told him he cannot come out of his room until then. He was waking at 5-6am everyday and shaking down the house. This didn't work until I put things in his room for him to do, IE - homework, his leappad, books. He stills gets a little disruptive some days but not as many as before.
Discipline, that's is good old time out. I struggled so much with this because of the effort it took. Seriously spent an hour some days doing it each time and several times a day. i use to think I don't have time for this but I made time. When I put him in time out the other day and he stayed first time and stayed quiet I was doing the happy dance!!! Crazy I know but I couldn't believe it!
Rewards chart has helped heaps!! we have the "Happy Helper Family" chart and they get a smiley face for doing well in the morning before school. I also did a chart with pictures of our morning routine, make bed, have breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, get school bag and get in the car. As they do each task we move their "star" along. If they do it all then we get to play our "happy song" in the car on the way to school and all sing along.
Lastly, one of the other big changes I've done is within myself and that is recognizing when an "episode" looks like it's coming and trying to divert it before it does. I was doing this wrong at first, I was pandering to him and literally treading on egg shells around him just to keep the peace. I hated that as I shouldn't have to do it. So now I try and divert his energy. If i see him starting to get to an "edgy" place I stop what I'm doing and ask him if he'd like to come and help me do xxx. This is difficult at times as like everyone I have things to do but it's worth it and I'm trying to now find things I can get him to go and do that I can supervise minimally i.e. He LOVES doing anything in the Yard, so if I have time i say, "lets go mow the lawn together" if i don't I say "Hey the driveway really needs a sweep, do you think you could manage that on your own" he delights in having responsibilities.
However, if the explosion happens before I get on top of it, I've now realized sometimes it gets to a point there is no getting through and there is no point trying to reason or discipline so I put him in his room and he will be screaming, crying, abusing me, calling me everything under the sun, and I sit outside his room and try and ride it out. Once I hear he is calm I go in and usually he is still feeling defiant so I take him to the bathroom and wash his face with a cold washer and allow him to come downstairs, BUT, if he is still acting out I take him back up and repeat the process. Then there are the times when he doesn't calm down, he is hitting himself in the head, shaking and his little heart is thumping out of his chest, these are the times I bear hug him, just hold him close and say over and over "mummy loves you" it can take a while but he eventually turns and embraces me and sobs until he is calm. These are the times I remind myself, it's not his fault.
Anyway, you did ask for a novel didn't you?!!!  wink.gif
Gosh I'm sorry but if you get just one tip from this that may help you as it has me then that's fantastic.

#7 brookeandbaby

Posted 31 March 2012 - 10:47 PM

Thanks so much for the kind replies and not shooting me down as an "I'm so great" post. I agree about sharing accomplishments. I just feel so proud and happy and with no friends with kids that have ADHD it's hard to find people that understand what an achievement it is!!
xox

#8 LambChop

Posted 31 March 2012 - 10:58 PM

Sounds like you have been working really hard to find the balance that works for al the family original.gif  Well done, keep at it, it's a journey not an outcome - chances are you will need to continually refine your approach as he learn new boundaries and self regulation strategies original.gif

#9 brookeandbaby

Posted 31 March 2012 - 11:05 PM

QUOTE (LambChop @ 31/03/2012, 10:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sounds like you have been working really hard to find the balance that works for al the family original.gif  Well done, keep at it, it's a journey not an outcome - chances are you will need to continually refine your approach as he learn new boundaries and self regulation strategies original.gif

I totally agree, it's all going to take maintenance and tweaking as it goes but I guess the main thing I have found hope in is that implementing strategies and being prepared really does work if followed though with original.gif

#10 brookeandbaby

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:38 AM

QUOTE (bubble-o @ 31/03/2012, 09:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That sounds wonderful!! Good on you OP, you should be massively proud of yourself for this, it mustn't have been easy. And it isn't a brag session, I think all of us would benefit from highlighting our achievements from time to time.

I hope things stay on this positive track! Keep it up

Gosh I wish I could strike more people like you on EB. To be fair most have been very supportive but I always held back what I say for fear of being flamed. Thank you. I'm not the bragging type but feel like I have failed so much in the past few years that this achievement was worth bragging a little about and I have very few people in my life that would understand.
As a side note I also really, really wanted to give hope and maybe just a reassurance to Mum's in the same boat knowledge that there are many of us dealing with this.


#11 baddmammajamma

Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:37 AM

Brag away!

These are my favorite types of posts -- when a child who has had to face struggles that go beyond what most children face and then triumphs! Awesome stuff!

You must be so proud of your son. Well done to you, too, as I suspect that your love, patience, and proactiveness have been key to his recent successes.

I hope you guys continue to do well.

#12 frizzle

Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:46 AM

Go OP, brag away. I am like BMJ and love good posts like this one.

#13 gabbigirl

Posted 03 April 2012 - 10:12 AM

thanks for the detail, its actually given me some tips on dealing with my 'spirited' child.

#14 *mylittleprince*

Posted 03 April 2012 - 10:19 AM

Great job OP. You sound like a fantastic mum and should be really proud of yourself.

#15 Tall Poppy

Posted 03 April 2012 - 10:52 AM

Very brag worthy. original.gif

I'm glad things are going better for your family.

#16 halcyondays

Posted 03 April 2012 - 11:02 AM

Thanks for the details- wondering if you could help me help my son.
How did you keep yours in time out? I can't come up with a solution, apart from locking the door!


#17 WizzFizz

Posted 03 April 2012 - 06:54 PM

Congratulations OP that is really great to hear. Your strategies sound like they have been really helpful and well done on being consistent and persistent. Not easy I know !!!

Your post has inspired me. It's amazing how it's actually some pretty simple stuff but the key is about being consistent. Sometimes when you're so deep into the issues it's hard to step back and look at the bigger picture. Thanks for giving me some hope. I am well and truly in a bad behavior phase at the moment. We are seeing a child psych and that's helping to a degree and your post has reminded me to bite off small chunks rather than feeling completely overwhelmed by it all and not knowing where exactly to start.

Thanks for posting. Hope the success continues for you and you continue to have more good days than bad original.gif

#18 Tiger Lilly

Posted 03 April 2012 - 08:16 PM

That is excellent OP, good for you!

I have an ADHD / ODD monkey and it's such an awesome feeling when you have a win!




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Childcare Survey

Win a $100 Coles/Myers gift voucher by completing the 5 minute childcare survey.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Childcare Survey

Win a $100 Coles/Myers gift voucher by completing the 5 minute childcare survey.

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.