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Toddler not able to self settle
Sleep School?

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#1 Praetor VitaeChel

Posted 30 March 2012 - 04:02 PM

My DS has never been a good sleeper. We ended up having to co-sleep most of his first 6 months. He started getting a bit better for a while, but has reverted lately (prob due to house move). We can spend 2 - 2.5 hours every night trying to settle him into his bed. He sleeps in a big boy bed now and can get up. He does so - continuously. He also throws tantrums and destroys things in his room. We have tried controlled ignoring, putting him back, night lights and we are down to lying in bed with him and rubbing his tummy, singing etc until he falls asleep. This can take an hour or so on it's own and is exhausting. I end up doing it most of the time as DH is losing patience (he is a great dad, but I think he is suffering some feelings of rejection as DS has always been a daddy's boy and lately has been calling out for me).

I can't keep it up as I am getting to uncomfortable with pregnancy and also making my sore back a whole lot worse.

DS is VERY active and is a bit delayed in his speech (seeing speech therapist in nearby hospital and he is improving, she has suggested he goes to Pediatrician in same hospital for further testing due to over activeness). He gets along well with others, but is not a great eater and recently has started throwing massive tantrums. We have tried dropping day naps, but he is just too tired. We now restrict nap to one hour (it can take an hour to get him to sleep and if he won't sleep he has quiet time). Lately he has fallen asleep on my lap or shoulder during quiet time if I stay with him.

Once asleep (atm that is happening around 10pm) he will sleep until 7am around 4 days out of 7. The rest of the time he is up and climbing in our bed between 2 - 4am. I know he should be sleeping about 12 - 13 hours, but we are lucky if he is getting 10 hours. It is obvious he is tired most of the time from his behaviour.

I have done Positive Parenting classes, followed books and advice from Maternal health nurses. Have reached the conclusion we need more help. I have been given the number of Tweedle in Melbourne (we are 2.5hrs away, but nearby sleep school can't help).

Has anyone taken a Toddler to sleep school? What kind of fees will we be looking at?

*edit due to sleep deprived spelling.

Edited by vitaechel, 30 March 2012 - 04:03 PM.

#2 ubermum

Posted 30 March 2012 - 04:15 PM

Maybe I am mean, but I would put a gate on his bedroom door and leave him to it. If he destroys things, I would remove them. If he only ends up with his bed, blanket and pillow in his room and everything else removed or secured then so be it. Without stimulation, distractions and attention, he will tantrum or get so bored he falls asleep. If he doesn't fall asleep in his bed, it doesn't matter. So long as he is in his room. Currently, his methods are working. He has your full attention for hours. He is big enough to know you are still there and he hasn't been abandoned. My girlfriend did this exact approach but she shut her child's bedroom door and latched it so they couldn't open it. I prefer the baby gate so they can hear you and don't feel totally isolated, but can't get out. Her son used to fall asleep behind the door within 30 minutes.

#3 Praetor VitaeChel

Posted 30 March 2012 - 09:10 PM

He is perfectly capable of climbing over a baby gate unfortunately. We have moved into a rental (just sold house) so adding a lock to the door is out of the question. We have tried controlled ignoring, but he will happily put himself in danger (climb up shelves etc) to get attention and that is unacceptable. We can't remove everything from his room as we just don't have that option. We already have locks on fridge and any dangerous cabinets after I caught him having a midnight snack one night.  rolleyes.gif

On the bright side - Tonight DH put him to bed and for the first time in a loooonnnnggg time, it only took 30mins. We varied our night routine. I gave him food at around 5pm (this was a suggestion from Parenting class - feed earlier to get see if we can get more food in him) then we went to the pool for some swimming for about 40mins. This also allowed me time to exercise and relax while DH played with DS.

We gave him a bit more dinner when we came home - which for once he devoured and then started on bedtime routine with DH completely in charge (I had a bad headache and there was no way I could do the bed routine tonight).

Unfortunately, this is not something we can do every night, but I am relieved we have at least one night of peace.

#4 ubermum

Posted 31 March 2012 - 11:07 AM

I wouldn't waste your money on further sleep schools then op. I went to Tweddle and they will give you very similar advice to mine. If it is too hard to remove distractions and dangers from your child and keep him in his room, there is not much they can do to help. I guess he will eventually grow out of it.

#5 Riotproof

Posted 31 March 2012 - 08:54 PM

I'd be pursuing the paed.

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