Jump to content

Please help me overnight wean 20mo
How did you do it?

  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 1 for me

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:55 PM


My DS is 20mo soon and he is showing absolutely no sign of weaning at all which is fine, however the overnight feeding is driving me mad, literally! My DS is still waking upto 4 times a night and won't go back to sleep without a feed. The last couple of weeks after his feed I put him back in his cot and 10mins later I am back up to a screaming and kicking toddler. Then he won't let me put him back in his cot and just wants to linger. I used to love and enjoy BFing but now I am starting to hate it and I believe it's because of the overnight feeds. I felt like I wanted to cut my boobs off the other night if DS touched me one more time. It's terrible and I feel guilty for feeling like this when I know all he wants is comfort but I am getting hardly any sleep and I work full time. I just can't keep going. Could you please tell me how you stopped the overnight feeds and how long it took?

Any advice/help is appreciated. Just to add I don't want to wean full time but just the overnight feeds to start with.


#2 tick

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

I night weaned my DD when she was 20 months also.  She was in a big bed by that stage which helped I think.  Previously I had fed her in her bed and laid down with her until she went to sleep, often falling asleep there myself otherwise then going back to my own bed.  

Night weaning basically involved a couple of weeks of Dad doing the night settling instead of me.  He'd go in with the option of a drink of water and would lay with her in her bed while she went back to sleep.  The first few days were a scream-fest but she got used to it quickly enough and after about 2 weeks I could successfully go into her at night if she woke and settle her without breastmilk.  

Good luck, I understand how consuming that feeling of total aversion to breastfeeding is (even after having enjoyed it in the early months).  I ended up weaning DD completely by 24 months because of it.

#3 Mum2NE1

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:49 PM

Took us about 3-4 nights. I told DD that the milk was all gone & that the big girl fairy would leave a present under her pillow if she had a big girl sleep without milk. She cried herself to sleep in my arms the first 2 nights & I felt so awful, but the 3rd night was better & 4th she just needed to lay with me to get to sleep.

#4 TwiceTheWoman

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:49 PM

To be honest 1FM, I think most people hate whatever they're doing from time to time and that includes breastfeeding.  The feelings come and go in waves and at times it's normal to feel sick of the whole shebang.
There can be several reasons other than wanting to feed that he may be waking, although the feeding is providing him comfort it may be some obscure reason, depending on your change of season, doona off, nightmares, nocturnal animals making noises, teething (I think this is the most common) etc., so check out what's going on for him.  It may be something simple, such as he may need his room warmed a little before bed and an extra blanket on for the night.
Contact the Australian Breastfeeding Association for some great support there.

My eldest son started waking several times a night aged just on 2yo and I was going absolutely crazy.
When I was working night shifts and he slept with DH and never woke once.  One night I slept in his bed and the sounds of the possums mating above his room were both loud and frightening - poor little mite. ohmy.gif   I moved the rooms around and he slept through.

I hear what you're saying and know exactly how you feel; sometimes you just want to be disentangled from everyone.
Can you have a day way from your family / child doing whatever you want to, just for a bit of personal respite?
That being said, can't recommend ABA enough; when you speak with a counsellor, she'll know just what you're going through and be able to offer you some great suggestions.
Good luck 1ForMe, you have been hard at this mothering thing for 19 months solid, 7 days a week, go easy on yourself and know that you have done an amazing job thus far.  All the best!

#5 Tikiboo16

Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:56 PM

I stopped overnight feeds when DD was about 13 months. I simply went to her when she woke at night and laid her back in her cot and patted her to sleep (usually took many attempts before she actually fell asleep). Yeah it was hell for about three nights, but she improved with each night and then at around night 4 or 5 she slept through the night and has done so ever since. I still BF but usually only just before she goes to sleep and sometimes in the mornings if she wants it. My advice is to just be persistent.. he won't like the new arrangement at first but he will get used to it, and everyone will sleep better. original.gif

#6 1 for me

Posted 04 April 2012 - 12:52 PM

Thank you all very much for your advice and words of support. My DH and I have a week's holiday soon so I think that we might try DH going in at night to see how we go. My problem is that I am a big sook and can't stand to hear DS crying and distressed when I know that all I have to do is go in to him and give him a feed and he will be happy again. I might have to sleep in a part of the house where i can't hear his cries.

I really do love BFing and am so happy that we have continued this journey thus far. It's like TwiceTheWoman said, we all hate something we are doing from time to time and I just wasn't coping very well last week. This week is a better week though!  biggrin.gif

#7 Bel Rowley

Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:03 PM

I echo the advice of having your DH do the settling. Like you I can't stand listening to my boy cry, if I go to him as soon as he sees me he wants a feed, and I am usually too much of a softie to deny it. Generally if it is someone else who goes to him he is much more likely to resettle. A few times I've gone to bed and DH has had to actually get DS up, but if he sits with him in the lounge room for a cuddle for about 15 minutes he will then go back to bed happily.

#8 Bluenomi

Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:34 PM

I tried pretty much everything and nothing work. I was convinced I'd be doing it forever.

Around 19 months she started sleeping through the night more often and on the night's she did wake, she decided she didn't want a feed. She happily kept feeding in the morning and before bed but gave up overnight feeds on her own.

I ended up weaning her completely at 21 months and it was amazingly easy in the end.

2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users


Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Essential Baby & Toddler Show Brisbane (4-6 March). Register online now to save $20!

Newborn baby found in a nativity scene

Police are trying to trace a woman who abandoned a baby boy in the manger of a church nativity scene.

Life would be harder without my kids

The Humans of New York Facebook page is well known for sharing touching, real stories from one of the world's biggest cities – and it's just hit the heart of parents everywhere.

Mum dresses as Wonder Woman for last day of chemo

A Brisbane mum dressed up as a superhero to celebrate the end of her chemotherapy and created a moment her family will remember forever.

How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Former Hi-5 member's cannabis hope

Former Hi-5 star Tim Harding hopes a cannabis-derived drug will help control his daughter's epilepsy, which sees the four-year-old suffering between 50 and 100 seizures a day.

The top 5 reasons your toddler throws a tantrum

Whilst to the outside world little people may appear to have it easy, it's actually not always the case – just ask any toddler who's had their toast cut up the wrong way.

Glenn McGrath thought he'd lost his wife and baby

Australian cricket ledged Glen McGrath has spoken about the moment he thought he might lose his wife, Sara and their baby daughter, Madison.


Inside my Centrelink nightmare

Mother Bec Smith has been trying for months to access Centrelink payments. A "serious error" is preventing her.

Warnings over push for hourly childcare billing

Australia's peak childcare body has called for caution around the Turnbull government's push for childcare centres to charge parents by the hour, not by the day.

Cate Blanchett thought about adopting for years

Cate Blanchett says her recent adoption of a baby girl had nothing to do with wanting a daughter after having three sons.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.


What's hot on EB

How I survived breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Grieving father's letter to Bataclan terrorists: "...this little boy will threaten you by being happy and free"

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

5 challenges of motherhood - and how to see them differently

Despite the smiles, the sloppy kisses and the pure magic children bring to our lives, it's hard to deny that motherhood can be tough.

4 challenges of being a new dad - and how to face them

Becoming a parent is challenging – and that applies to both mums and dads.

My battle against antenatal and postnatal depression

I was five months pregnant when I realised I needed help.

Children swapped at birth will not be returned to biological parents

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

A quarter of men believe they get 'man periods'

A British study has revealed one in four men believe they have a monthly cycle.

Baby deposit

How much do you need to save for a 'baby deposit'?

It's fairly straightforward to calculate a house deposit, but how much money do you need to save up for a baby?

Dad's beautiful note to his wife, a nurse

To anyone else it might just look like a picture of a mum having a nap with her toddler.

'I was a complete schmuck': Mike Baird opens up about his wife's postnatal depression

When his wife Kerryn was not well following the birth of their daughter, NSW Premier Mike Baird buried himself in his work.

Mum's desperate plea as whooping cough alert issued

A desperate mother has shared a heart-breaking video of her baby struggling to cope with a coughing fit caused by pertussis.

Coffee could help you live longer

New US research found people who report drinking three to five cups of coffee a day are less likely to die prematurely from heart disease, suicide, diabetes or Parkinson's disease.

The joy and dread of playdates

To live vicariously through your child is to rediscover anxieties you thought dead and buried.

Sick baby could die without scarce special formula, mum says

Lizzie Cann is down to her last three tins of a special formula in short supply.

Adorable toddler's strop foiled by squeaky shoes

We're probably all familiar with the pouty bottom lip and tightly crossed arms of a tot mid-strop.

More sex during World Cup created more baby boys

More sex during South Africa's World Cup meant a disproportionately high number of boys were born nine months later, a new study has found.

ABC Shop perfect for Christmas gifts

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Do fitness challenges really work?

Fitness challenges aren't new. There's Michelle Bridges 12WBT and a bunch of other programs if you really want to lose weight.

What are pregnant women Googling?

Pregnancy is a huge change for any woman, so it's natural we'll have questions - and turn to Google to ask them.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.