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Please help me overnight wean 20mo
How did you do it?


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#1 1 for me

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:55 PM

Hi,

My DS is 20mo soon and he is showing absolutely no sign of weaning at all which is fine, however the overnight feeding is driving me mad, literally! My DS is still waking upto 4 times a night and won't go back to sleep without a feed. The last couple of weeks after his feed I put him back in his cot and 10mins later I am back up to a screaming and kicking toddler. Then he won't let me put him back in his cot and just wants to linger. I used to love and enjoy BFing but now I am starting to hate it and I believe it's because of the overnight feeds. I felt like I wanted to cut my boobs off the other night if DS touched me one more time. It's terrible and I feel guilty for feeling like this when I know all he wants is comfort but I am getting hardly any sleep and I work full time. I just can't keep going. Could you please tell me how you stopped the overnight feeds and how long it took?

Any advice/help is appreciated. Just to add I don't want to wean full time but just the overnight feeds to start with.

TIA!

#2 tick

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

I night weaned my DD when she was 20 months also.  She was in a big bed by that stage which helped I think.  Previously I had fed her in her bed and laid down with her until she went to sleep, often falling asleep there myself otherwise then going back to my own bed.  

Night weaning basically involved a couple of weeks of Dad doing the night settling instead of me.  He'd go in with the option of a drink of water and would lay with her in her bed while she went back to sleep.  The first few days were a scream-fest but she got used to it quickly enough and after about 2 weeks I could successfully go into her at night if she woke and settle her without breastmilk.  

Good luck, I understand how consuming that feeling of total aversion to breastfeeding is (even after having enjoyed it in the early months).  I ended up weaning DD completely by 24 months because of it.

#3 Mum2NE1

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:49 PM

Took us about 3-4 nights. I told DD that the milk was all gone & that the big girl fairy would leave a present under her pillow if she had a big girl sleep without milk. She cried herself to sleep in my arms the first 2 nights & I felt so awful, but the 3rd night was better & 4th she just needed to lay with me to get to sleep.

#4 TwiceTheWoman

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:49 PM

To be honest 1FM, I think most people hate whatever they're doing from time to time and that includes breastfeeding.  The feelings come and go in waves and at times it's normal to feel sick of the whole shebang.
There can be several reasons other than wanting to feed that he may be waking, although the feeding is providing him comfort it may be some obscure reason, depending on your change of season, doona off, nightmares, nocturnal animals making noises, teething (I think this is the most common) etc., so check out what's going on for him.  It may be something simple, such as he may need his room warmed a little before bed and an extra blanket on for the night.
Contact the Australian Breastfeeding Association for some great support there.

My eldest son started waking several times a night aged just on 2yo and I was going absolutely crazy.
When I was working night shifts and he slept with DH and never woke once.  One night I slept in his bed and the sounds of the possums mating above his room were both loud and frightening - poor little mite. ohmy.gif   I moved the rooms around and he slept through.

I hear what you're saying and know exactly how you feel; sometimes you just want to be disentangled from everyone.
Can you have a day way from your family / child doing whatever you want to, just for a bit of personal respite?
That being said, can't recommend ABA enough; when you speak with a counsellor, she'll know just what you're going through and be able to offer you some great suggestions.
Good luck 1ForMe, you have been hard at this mothering thing for 19 months solid, 7 days a week, go easy on yourself and know that you have done an amazing job thus far.  All the best!

#5 Tikiboo16

Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:56 PM

I stopped overnight feeds when DD was about 13 months. I simply went to her when she woke at night and laid her back in her cot and patted her to sleep (usually took many attempts before she actually fell asleep). Yeah it was hell for about three nights, but she improved with each night and then at around night 4 or 5 she slept through the night and has done so ever since. I still BF but usually only just before she goes to sleep and sometimes in the mornings if she wants it. My advice is to just be persistent.. he won't like the new arrangement at first but he will get used to it, and everyone will sleep better. original.gif

#6 1 for me

Posted 04 April 2012 - 12:52 PM

Thank you all very much for your advice and words of support. My DH and I have a week's holiday soon so I think that we might try DH going in at night to see how we go. My problem is that I am a big sook and can't stand to hear DS crying and distressed when I know that all I have to do is go in to him and give him a feed and he will be happy again. I might have to sleep in a part of the house where i can't hear his cries.

I really do love BFing and am so happy that we have continued this journey thus far. It's like TwiceTheWoman said, we all hate something we are doing from time to time and I just wasn't coping very well last week. This week is a better week though!  biggrin.gif

#7 Bel Rowley

Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:03 PM

I echo the advice of having your DH do the settling. Like you I can't stand listening to my boy cry, if I go to him as soon as he sees me he wants a feed, and I am usually too much of a softie to deny it. Generally if it is someone else who goes to him he is much more likely to resettle. A few times I've gone to bed and DH has had to actually get DS up, but if he sits with him in the lounge room for a cuddle for about 15 minutes he will then go back to bed happily.

#8 Bluenomi

Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:34 PM

I tried pretty much everything and nothing work. I was convinced I'd be doing it forever.

Around 19 months she started sleeping through the night more often and on the night's she did wake, she decided she didn't want a feed. She happily kept feeding in the morning and before bed but gave up overnight feeds on her own.

I ended up weaning her completely at 21 months and it was amazingly easy in the end.




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