Jump to content

Please help me overnight wean 20mo
How did you do it?

  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 1 for me

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:55 PM


My DS is 20mo soon and he is showing absolutely no sign of weaning at all which is fine, however the overnight feeding is driving me mad, literally! My DS is still waking upto 4 times a night and won't go back to sleep without a feed. The last couple of weeks after his feed I put him back in his cot and 10mins later I am back up to a screaming and kicking toddler. Then he won't let me put him back in his cot and just wants to linger. I used to love and enjoy BFing but now I am starting to hate it and I believe it's because of the overnight feeds. I felt like I wanted to cut my boobs off the other night if DS touched me one more time. It's terrible and I feel guilty for feeling like this when I know all he wants is comfort but I am getting hardly any sleep and I work full time. I just can't keep going. Could you please tell me how you stopped the overnight feeds and how long it took?

Any advice/help is appreciated. Just to add I don't want to wean full time but just the overnight feeds to start with.


#2 tick

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:28 PM

I night weaned my DD when she was 20 months also.  She was in a big bed by that stage which helped I think.  Previously I had fed her in her bed and laid down with her until she went to sleep, often falling asleep there myself otherwise then going back to my own bed.  

Night weaning basically involved a couple of weeks of Dad doing the night settling instead of me.  He'd go in with the option of a drink of water and would lay with her in her bed while she went back to sleep.  The first few days were a scream-fest but she got used to it quickly enough and after about 2 weeks I could successfully go into her at night if she woke and settle her without breastmilk.  

Good luck, I understand how consuming that feeling of total aversion to breastfeeding is (even after having enjoyed it in the early months).  I ended up weaning DD completely by 24 months because of it.

#3 Mum2NE1

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:49 PM

Took us about 3-4 nights. I told DD that the milk was all gone & that the big girl fairy would leave a present under her pillow if she had a big girl sleep without milk. She cried herself to sleep in my arms the first 2 nights & I felt so awful, but the 3rd night was better & 4th she just needed to lay with me to get to sleep.

#4 TwiceTheWoman

Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:49 PM

To be honest 1FM, I think most people hate whatever they're doing from time to time and that includes breastfeeding.  The feelings come and go in waves and at times it's normal to feel sick of the whole shebang.
There can be several reasons other than wanting to feed that he may be waking, although the feeding is providing him comfort it may be some obscure reason, depending on your change of season, doona off, nightmares, nocturnal animals making noises, teething (I think this is the most common) etc., so check out what's going on for him.  It may be something simple, such as he may need his room warmed a little before bed and an extra blanket on for the night.
Contact the Australian Breastfeeding Association for some great support there.

My eldest son started waking several times a night aged just on 2yo and I was going absolutely crazy.
When I was working night shifts and he slept with DH and never woke once.  One night I slept in his bed and the sounds of the possums mating above his room were both loud and frightening - poor little mite. ohmy.gif   I moved the rooms around and he slept through.

I hear what you're saying and know exactly how you feel; sometimes you just want to be disentangled from everyone.
Can you have a day way from your family / child doing whatever you want to, just for a bit of personal respite?
That being said, can't recommend ABA enough; when you speak with a counsellor, she'll know just what you're going through and be able to offer you some great suggestions.
Good luck 1ForMe, you have been hard at this mothering thing for 19 months solid, 7 days a week, go easy on yourself and know that you have done an amazing job thus far.  All the best!

#5 Tikiboo16

Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:56 PM

I stopped overnight feeds when DD was about 13 months. I simply went to her when she woke at night and laid her back in her cot and patted her to sleep (usually took many attempts before she actually fell asleep). Yeah it was hell for about three nights, but she improved with each night and then at around night 4 or 5 she slept through the night and has done so ever since. I still BF but usually only just before she goes to sleep and sometimes in the mornings if she wants it. My advice is to just be persistent.. he won't like the new arrangement at first but he will get used to it, and everyone will sleep better. original.gif

#6 1 for me

Posted 04 April 2012 - 12:52 PM

Thank you all very much for your advice and words of support. My DH and I have a week's holiday soon so I think that we might try DH going in at night to see how we go. My problem is that I am a big sook and can't stand to hear DS crying and distressed when I know that all I have to do is go in to him and give him a feed and he will be happy again. I might have to sleep in a part of the house where i can't hear his cries.

I really do love BFing and am so happy that we have continued this journey thus far. It's like TwiceTheWoman said, we all hate something we are doing from time to time and I just wasn't coping very well last week. This week is a better week though!  biggrin.gif

#7 Bel Rowley

Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:03 PM

I echo the advice of having your DH do the settling. Like you I can't stand listening to my boy cry, if I go to him as soon as he sees me he wants a feed, and I am usually too much of a softie to deny it. Generally if it is someone else who goes to him he is much more likely to resettle. A few times I've gone to bed and DH has had to actually get DS up, but if he sits with him in the lounge room for a cuddle for about 15 minutes he will then go back to bed happily.

#8 Bluenomi

Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:34 PM

I tried pretty much everything and nothing work. I was convinced I'd be doing it forever.

Around 19 months she started sleeping through the night more often and on the night's she did wake, she decided she didn't want a feed. She happily kept feeding in the morning and before bed but gave up overnight feeds on her own.

I ended up weaning her completely at 21 months and it was amazingly easy in the end.

2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users


First look at Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones's Baby

Bridget is now in her 40s and is a successful publishing executive - but also has a pregnancy to contend with as well.

Newlyweds send bill to no-show guests

Planning a wedding can be stressful – and, as most newlyweds can attest, it can be very costly, too.

Claire Danes: acting out postnatal depression was difficult

Actress Claire Danes found it difficult pretending to have postnatal depression in Homeland, as she had just become a new mother herself.

Sneak peek: Geleeo self-cooling pram & high chair liners

We just spotted Geleeo, a brand new self-cooling pram liner you can buy in time for summer.

The moment a 92-year-old meets her great grandaughter

It's a heart-warming photo this family will treasure forever.

How to prepare for breastfeeding when you're still pregnant

While every woman's breastfeeding journey is different, many hurdles are shared. Knowing what to expect will enable you to make informed decisions if - or when - you meet challenges along the way.

Sneak peek: new Love Mae bamboo dinnerware designs

We do love ourselves some brand new designs in tried and true products. The renowned bamboo dinnerware from Love Mae has just had several more members join the family, in addition to a brand new website.

Mum who killed paedophile gets reduced sentence

A mother-of-five who killed a paedophile has had her jail sentence reduced by a judge who described her case as a "truly exceptional" one.

Toddler's silent debate with mum about naptime

He might not utter a single word - but this toddler is having a great debate with his mother about nap time.

Silence is golden ... or is it?

Silence is golden, or so the saying goes. But when it comes to children, quite the opposite is true.

Awards 2015: Vote now for a chance to win $2000

Vote for your favourite pregnancy, baby and toddler products for your chance to win your share of $2500 in cash prizes.

Scientists identify potential birth control 'pill' for men

Two drugs that help suppress the immune system in organ transplant patients may have a future as the long-sought birth control "pill" for men, new research suggests.

Running for beginners: taking the first steps

It's that time of year when the weather warms up and there's more opportunity to get out and go for a jog.

Tips for turning yourself into a morning person

Mornings are a great time to spend time in reflection or to get outside and get moving.

Thousands sign petition for unborn babies killed by domestic violence

Almost 8000 people have signed a petition calling for a law to recognise unborn babies killed by domestic violence in NSW.

Pregnant Sarah Harris tells body-shamers to 'get stuffed'

Television presenter Sarah Harris has a message for anyone who tries to body-shame pregnant women or new mums.

In defence of 'brexting'

Mums spend literally hours a day with a baby attached to their boob, or giving them a bottle. Surely they don't all need to be spent looking at the baby?

How a fellow passenger made a mum's day on a flight

As any parent who has ever travelled with a baby knows it can be a daunting experience. The stares and attitude of unsympathetic fellow travellers only serve to make the journey even more stressful. 


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



What are your favourite baby products?

The Essential Baby Awards are on now, and we need your help! Have your say on your top picks and you'll go in the draw to win a share of $2500.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.