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Another Mother of the Year moment :S


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#1 bettymm

Posted 30 March 2012 - 02:38 PM

So i was at Coles today, pretty chuffed with myself for getting my 3 yr old to fit in the toddler seat , next to my 3 month old in the capsule bit of the shopping trolley.  All went well and was able to get my shopping done

I go down to the basement car park to unload everything and i COULD NOT for the life of me lift the 3 yr old out of the seat!! her legs kept getting caught and i just didnt have the height to manage it, she started getting more and more distressed and screaming to get out.  The only person around was a VERY tall trolley man , looked Sudanese , i think.  I ran over and asked if he could assist me in getting the child out and he comes over and  yanks her out by pulling one of her arms ohmy.gif !! OMG, she is fine and didnt cry or anything but it looked her arm was going to be pulled out of its socket!!

kicking myself driving home thinking how stupid it was asking a stranger to do that, but what else could i have done??

#2 DEVOCEAN

Posted 30 March 2012 - 02:51 PM

That happened with our youngest one day. Out of frustration I turned around and told her to get out herself. So she did. She got her legs out and stood up whilst I held on under her arms and then just lifted her down.

#3 Feral_Pooks

Posted 30 March 2012 - 02:59 PM

Sounds like he was very helpful. I would have said no if I were him.

#4 No-pants Agnodice

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:02 PM

To keep going with the 'youse are all racist' theme from the other thread - what does being Sudanese have anything to do with it?

#5 mygorgeousboy

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:05 PM

That has happened to me too and my then 3yr old DS. In the end he got out himself but i was struggling for a while and just didn't have the height.  wink.gif

#6 bakesgirls

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:05 PM

QUOTE (pookems85 @ 30/03/2012, 03:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sounds like he was very helpful. I would have said no if I were him.


Same here.

#7 LambChop

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:12 PM

So, she's fine yeah ? She didn't cry...  and you have an issue because ??? why exactly ?

Edited to Add: The upset and distress was when the parenting help didn't work... (just in case your memory was adding that upset to the stranger assistance)

Very strange post...

Edited by LambChop, 30 March 2012 - 03:14 PM.


#8 bark

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:13 PM

How is this a Mother of the Yr moment?

You needed help, you asked for it. Nothing wrong with that.



#9 bettymm

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:25 PM

QUOTE
To keep going with the 'youse are all racist' theme from the other thread - what does being Sudanese have anything to do with it?


I knew that would come up! almost went back and edited it out, but i was just replaying what happened and typed as my memory went along.  Has nothing to do with it , i shouldhave just said, he was tall!!

QUOTE
Very strange post...


Yeah i guess, i just meant that after it happened , i felt bad for allowing that to happen  i guess, and was interested in whether others would ask a complete stranger to assist in physically moving their child.  I kinda did it in a bit of a panic without thinking.

i am surprised that some of you wouldnt help!! obviously , i asked him because he looked physically fit and able to life a child of that size and weight, i wouldnt have asked someone the same size as me

Edited by bettymm, 30 March 2012 - 03:31 PM.


#10 LambChop

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:30 PM

Allowing what to happen sorry ?  Her getting stuck or you having to ask for help ?  Its just that you had all this stuff implying that there was something insidious about the way the help was provided by the "Sudanese stranger" ....

If all your issue was meant to be, was that you felt bad for having to ask for help... then I say move on, there's no shame in misjudging things like "time for DD to not go in the trolley anymore because she is too big for me to get out".

I would have helped you, but I would be mighty offended if I read your post above as your version of the help - sorry, but, you really did make it sound like the guy was some sort of axe murderer....

#11 CuppaTea

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:33 PM

I've found talking the childs shoes off sometimes helps as I find feet get stuck then the legs seem to as well...


On a lighter note - you might have bought some marg that you could have plied her legs with.. LOL

#12 bettymm

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:37 PM

QUOTE
I would have helped you, but I would be mighty offended if I read your post above as your version of the help - sorry, but, you really did make it sound like the guy was some sort of axe murderer....


wow.  Certainly wasnt meant that way,  I am the one feeling bad for asking a stranger, its nothing against the kind man that helped me..  In all honesty it looked like that he just hadnt much experience with children, and how to handle them.

Which got me thinking, i kind of just expected him to know how to correctly lift a child ..of course not all  people are in contact with young chiildren 24 7 like us.  So i shouldnt have just expected him to.


QUOTE
but I would be mighty offended if I read your post above as your version of the help


ummm.. he came over and yanked her out by pulling on one arm... im not quite sure how i could explain this in any other way???  thats just what happened

QUOTE
On a lighter note - you might have bought some marg that you could have plied her legs with.. LOL


haha!!  Damn..if i didnt have a screaming 3 yr old to contend with i could have thought of this!!

Edited by bettymm, 30 March 2012 - 03:40 PM.


#13 Hashley

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:40 PM

I imagine you tried to get your child out by pulling her with a bit of force. The man does the same thing, albeit successfully, and also without distressing the child, unlike your attempts and you have a problem?

#14 No-pants Agnodice

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:52 PM

QUOTE (bettymm @ 30/03/2012, 04:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Which got me thinking, i kind of just expected him to know how to correctly lift a child ..of course not all  people are in contact with young chiildren 24 7 like us.



Um, what is the 'correct' way to lift a young child? I must have missed that topic at my antenatal class when they talked about the one objectively correct way to lift a 3 year old... As far as I can see, he got her out and she wasn't hurt or upset in any way - isn't that the 'correct' way to lift a child? Maybe he was worried about grabbing her under the arms because then he would be the tall scary Sudanese man grabbing a 3 yer olds chest?

As for spending time with kids automatically teaching you how to care for them.... Well plenty of parents still do dumb things with/to their kids. And being Sudanese, surely he started taking care of his 17 younger siblings at age three so would know exactly how to care for them?

ETA - sorry, I'm being a bit mean. The take home message is probably though that your reaction to what happened seems a bit OTT and paranoid, and makes it seem like you're transferring the scary (but hilarious!) moment of your child being stuck in a trolley onto some poor bloke who did exactly what you asked for!

Edited by MsN, 30 March 2012 - 03:55 PM.


#15 bettymm

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:54 PM

Again, no i dont have a problem with the man!

He went out of his way to help me and I thanked him, I didnt rant like a crazy woman that he could have dislocated her arm!  Its me , i felt bad and that i shouldnt have asked him at all.  

But yes, at the end of the day, no more rides in the trolley for my DD , unless DH is with me!!

#16 la di dah

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:59 PM

QUOTE (MadameCatty @ 30/03/2012, 04:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why?

Because people get upset if you lift them by an arm, or scoop around their butts, and here you are minding your own business and suddenly someone you don't know wants you to miraculously wrangle their toddler for them and you have no idea if they'll be reasonable or not.

Also, children are sometimes covered in jam.

I dunno, I could just see why a man, especially, would feel it was a no-win situation.

#17 bettymm

Posted 30 March 2012 - 03:59 PM

QUOTE
what is the 'correct' way to lift a young child?


Not lifting them by one arm.  2 arms under the arm pits i would think?

OMG  am really regretting not editing out the sudanese part!  Was just to give a description of the size and build of the man. i may sound racist again, but a lot of the Sudanese i have seen around my suburb are tall.  Umm thats all i was implying.

Edited by bettymm, 30 March 2012 - 04:03 PM.


#18 Peridot

Posted 30 March 2012 - 04:03 PM

QUOTE
Also, children are sometimes covered in jam.

So true! Or vegemite... laughing2.gif

#19 Procrastinator5000

Posted 30 March 2012 - 04:04 PM

It's true, they tend to be tall.

If she'd said 'he was tall, looked Canadian or something', nobody would care.

#20 scruff05

Posted 30 March 2012 - 04:17 PM

How funny, just because you mentioned the race of the man your getting your head bitten off. Dont worry about it.
I understood where you were coming from in mentioning his race and just saying it in that they are usually pretty tall guys. Im sure he went home and had a laugh about the short little white, green, purple or what ever colour lady that was struggling to get her child out of the trolly.
Dont stress i would have done the same thing.

#21 bettymm

Posted 30 March 2012 - 04:22 PM

yes, im sure he had a giggle about the mess i was in too!  i would have looked the sight struggling to get my hefty 3 yr old out! ( i am very short)

Would have felt awful for the guy if he had hurt her (unintentionally) , I just should have calmed down, and figured a way out myself.  oh well, live and learn and no harm done at the end of the day , was just one of those "what if" moments

#22 charliebean

Posted 30 March 2012 - 04:35 PM

Lol, I've been there before OP I was so embarrassed. FWIW next time try lifting from behind instead of instead of from in front - it's much easier, if only I figured that out first.

Edited by charliebean, 30 March 2012 - 04:37 PM.


#23 bettymm

Posted 30 March 2012 - 04:42 PM

QUOTE
The take home message is probably though that your reaction to what happened seems a bit OTT and paranoid,


yeah, probably, had an incident last week, where same child fell off the tramp at a friends house and knocked herself out.  I wasnt watching at the time  sad.gif   So, i guess, i felt like oh no! not again, when it looked like her arm was going to be hurt (and it really did! not exaggerating that!)

#24 Feral_Pooks

Posted 30 March 2012 - 06:13 PM

QUOTE (MadameCatty @ 30/03/2012, 04:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why?



QUOTE (la di dah @ 30/03/2012, 04:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I dunno, I could just see why a man, especially, would feel it was a no-win situation.


Yeah, pretty much. Also, he was at work- he's the trolley guy, right? Well my experience has been that while working, especially low-rung jobs, you're pretty much not meant to do anything that could result in you getting into trouble with the public, especially something not in your job description. In fact, I've been told off several times for touching lost children too much when working in a supermarket/discount store (as an aside, part of my job was collecting and assisting customers with trolleys, too). It can leave you wide open to losing your job if someone complained about something you did- sometimes I took the risk, I guess I had confidence that I could find another job if push came to shove, but it was still a risk to my income security if I did something like, for instance, give a hysterically crying 3 year old reaching his arms out to me a little hug or wipe his streaming face with a plain tissue (I got 'counselled' for that particular evil act). I'm tipping that the job is quite important to the trolley guy, and I wouldn't blame him for not wanting to risk losing it. I guess if he were just some guy in the car park, he'd have less to lose (although I can still see LDD's point). Also, they have quite demanding jobs with a lot of time pressures and he's taken time out of that to help someone when he didn't have to.

So basically I think he went above and beyond.

#25 CallMeFeral

Posted 30 March 2012 - 06:27 PM

Bizarre that everyone is going nuts just because you mentioned his race. Some threads just bring out the lunacy in EB.

Yes, I'd be freaked if someone picked one of my kids up by the arm.
No, you didn't do anything wrong, you probably felt pretty stuck.
No, if she's ok it's likely to be fine - sometimes I'm surprised at what can actually be done to children without hurting them - we had a lady (oooh from a different culture but if I mention it will everybody go nuts?) when I was a child who for a 'party trick' would lift us up by our heads. And then you've seen the baby swinging video that caused such a kerfuffle a year or so ago? Maybe the guy really HAD been around kids a lot, but not in a coddled Western country, and the way he did it was actually fine. Who knows.

Anyway, don't worry about it, alls well that ends well, even if it ends in an EB race riot.




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