I thought I'd put this here, because unless you've been big, are big etc, it's hard to know where I'm coming from!Size Vent
I am sick of my size! Granted I have done well, going from 135kg the day before my youngest was born January last year, to 104kg now. Granted it does take a long time to lose weight, no quick fixes etc.Shape Vent
BUT I hate my shape!!!! I have amazing legs.. Toned, lovely muscles, lovely skin, granted there's a little bit of fat on them, but otherwise they are great. It's just everything from my stomach overhang upwards, is fat! Most of my 50kg left to lose is in my stomach!! It's gross! It overhangs way past my girl bits, and if it weren't for my stomach, I could easily fit into size 14s. I need a 20 for my stomach, and a 14 for my legs! It's impossible finding pants that look good, because what fits at the waistband, is so baggy and unflattering around my thighs!Exercise Vent
I wish there were spot-fix exercise solutions! It sucks that there aren't. Shape Vent #2
My arms are ok, albeit, fat. But they're not massive to the point I will need surgery to be ok with them at my goal weight. My boobs sag, I think this is my fault as I didn't wear a supportive bra for my last pregnancy.. Spending the majority of the time either braless (around the house) or wearing a sleep-bra when going out somewhere. Mainly because I was too big to find a bra that would fit that didn't cost much (we were paying off a lot of debt, and thankfully now are debt-free and have savings!). So this I can handle.Cosmetic Surgery Vent
But right now, I have very high hopes that I will need a tummy-tuck and a boob lift/implants when I do get to my goal weight of 59kg, which is perfect for my 162cm (5'3) height, and my small bone structure. I wouldn't mind so much, except that I am SCARED to death of being under general anesthetic! I have never had it before and I really don't want to!! I will also want a tubal ligation as I have massive anxiety over getting pregnant again. As it is we use the pill (three alarms set every night in 5min intervals around 9pm so I don't forget!) and condoms, and I still get worried and do a test every month!! So all three procedures would have to be done at once, which they should do right?Placing the Blame Vent
I also have hang-ups to my mother for letting me get fat in the first place! Before you say anything, my GP has also said numerous times that I have her to thank for it, my sister too. But now at my age (just turned 24) I am too old to be blaming my mother, and I need to take it on as my own problem, and am fixing it.My Life in Weights Vent
But my whole life has been focused on my weight. I have photos of me from 1 year old, twice the size a normal sized 1 year old should be. At 6 years old, massive double chin, huge belly, again, twice the weight I should have been. At 11 years old, nearly 70kg. At 15 years old, 92kg. At 18 years old, 110kg. At 23 years old, 135kg.
It isn't medical, my GP has ruled everything out. It is just food based. Growing up on junk food, and no exercise.Back to the Point Vent
Back to the point of my vent I guess. ARGH.. I want to be small like I was designed to be! For the first time in my life. Is it really so much to ask?
I am so desperate to see what I was designed to look like! I want to see my ribs when I lay down, I want to feel my hip bones.. I want to see my spine protrude when I bend over forwards.. I want to see my jaw bone, I want to see my collar bones.. I want to see my girl bits without having to pull up my stomach and contort myself End of Vent.