Jump to content

Starting Daycare


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 archersmumma

Posted 30 March 2012 - 10:31 AM

Hi everyone, my DS (nearly 11 months) is starting his first full day of day care on Monday as I have picked up another day at work (I currently work one day but he gets looked after at our house by family.) I am SO anxious, he has had a couple of orientations and was okay, he cried a little when I left him yesterday but they said he settled quite quickly.

It is more me that I am worried about, like I feel anxious leaving him with "strangers" and feel terrible missing out on things he is doing, stupid I know, my husband doesn't really understand. Anyway just wanting some tips or advice you lovely ladies can give to reduce my anxiety and guilt!

Thanks in advance :

#2 deejie

Posted 30 March 2012 - 11:44 AM

Starting child care is stressful, isn't it! original.gif
I think the biggest thing on the drop off is not to be anxious. Children pick up on our anxiety very easily. Talk happily to your son and don't underestimate the amount he might understand. We are going to childcare, you will have a play, some lunch, a sleep and Mummy will be back to pick you up and take you home. Be cheery and calm. I wouldn't drag out the drop off either. A quick cuddle, cheery wave goodbye and be on your way.

The "strangers" won't be strangers to you and your son for long. I have developed some lovely relationships with DS1's carers. One that looked after him as a baby has babysat for us. Another has had him over to her house for lunch and a play, they got on so well! He will quickly make little friends within his room too and will look forward to seeing them regularly.

It won't be long until your child is settled in, but expect it to take a while if he is only attending one day a week. It will take some time especially to settle in to good sleeping habits at childcare. Most kids are used to sleeping in the peace and quiet of home, not with other children making noise and activity going on around them. DS1 went through various stages of  terrible sleeping and refusing to eat, particularly when he changed rooms as he got bigger. He always came around within a few days.

As for yourself, don't feel like you are missing out. I don't know about your local centre, but the carers are always happy to chat about DS1's day and they also have little portfolios for each of the children with the activities they have done, anectdotes about funny things they did/said, some artwork, photographs etc. I never feel like I am "missing out" because I can easily see what he has been up to. We take the portfolio home at the end of each term.

And lastly, re the guilt. I think a lot of mother "guilt" is guilt we impose on ourselves for no good reason. Despite what you might think from reading posts on EB, I really think the absolute majority of people do not form silent judgements of our parenting. There is no reason to "should" ourselves. I "should" be doing this, I "should" be doing that, I "shouldn't" be doing something else. Whenever I get a case of the self imposed mother-guilts about child care, I focus on all the wonderful fun DS1 has (he often throws tantrums now because he doesn't want to come home, having too much fun!) and the positive impact it has had on his confidence and independence.

#3 archersmumma

Posted 30 March 2012 - 12:31 PM

Thank you so much, that was so helpful original.gif It is true we do put that guilt on ourselves, I am queen of that. I have to remember to be positive and upbeat when dropping him off and save my tears for when I am driving to work lol original.gif

#4 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 01 April 2012 - 11:32 AM

Make sure you hand him over to a specific carer and say "this is so and so, she is going to look after you today".

My centre has a family photo wall where the kids can go and look if they are missing mum and dad.

#5 Juju38

Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:18 PM

It's awful that first day when you hand them over!

I very quickly realised that my DS was having the best time at daycare, so I quickly got over my anxiety around that.  The first day was hard though, so go easy on yourself.

The one thing I hadn't anticipated though that happened to us was my DS got sick straight away.  Just cold/flus, nothing too serious.  He has subsequently been sick each week I have had him in care (four weeks now of only two hours, one day per week).  He had not so much as had a cold prior to starting care.  Our doctor said it is just something he has to go through now that he is being exposed to children in daycare and it will ultimately build immunity, but, if I were you, maybe consider adding some garlic into your DS' diet and watch your own immunity.  My DP and I have been sick too (and we rarely get sick), so we are really concentrating on staying healthy and boosting our own immunity.

I hope your experience is positive and your DS enjoys daycare as much as our does!

#6 archersmumma

Posted 02 April 2012 - 11:28 AM

Well today was the big day of his first day. Last night I was a mess when he went to bed, so silly but I couldn't stop crying! But woke up this morning feeling a lot better which is good because he didn't see me upset. His dad and I both went to drop him off, which was a good support for me. Just watching the clock until lunch time so I can call and see how he is going original.gif



Thanks for the advice and support means a lot, never thought it would be this hard! and good idea about the garlic!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Ambulance service under fire: baby seats to go, response times 'worse than ever'

The NSW Ambulance Service is removing child-safety seats from ambulances, while the Victorian service is facing criticism over lengthy response times following the death of a three-year-old.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Is e-reading to your toddler story time or just screen time?

When reading increasingly means swiping pages on a device, and we're advised to read to their children early and often, should parents be turning to e-readers for storytime?

Community mourns inspiring young dad

A young dad who fought a five-year battle with cancer has been remembered for his inspiring legacy at a funeral service attended by hundreds of family and friends this week.

Meningococcal kills Queensland toddler

Public health authorities say the death of a toddler in north Queensland from meningococcal disease highlights the danger the illness poses.

Nicole Kidman: 'I hope every month that I'm pregnant'

Nicole Kidman is hoping to add to her family, but says she's doubtful it will happen.

Recall: Aldi Wooden London Bus play set

Aldi has announced a recall of their popular Wooden London Bus play set.

Great gift ideas for first birthdays

From soft toys to balance bikes, here are some great ideas for first birthday gifts.

Mum learnt she was pregnant hours before giving birth

Kim Walsh arrived at the doctor with abdominal cramps. Hours later, she was cradling the baby experts told her she could never have.

How cancer has made me a better, happier person

I'm a far better person post-cancer than I ever was before. The goal now is to stay around long enough to find out who I can become, and what I can achieve.

Pete Evans says a paleo diet can prevent autism. He's wrong

Pete Evans is not a paediatrician or even a nutritionist or dietitian. So why should we believe his extreme views and remove food groups from our children's diets over the advice from those more qualified?

Let's get back to commonsense parenting

Forget the new 'Lawnmower' parenting trend; try using plain old-fashioned commonsense instead.

Woman sues after having a mixed-race baby

A US woman is suing a sperm bank after it sent her vials from African-American man, instead of the white donor she had selected.

Bonding ideas dad will love

Dad may not say it, but he could be feeling lost, confused and seriously left out. However, there are lots of things new fathers can do to be more included in the excitement of pregnancy and new parenthood.

The house that hope built for childhood cancer

Baby Laelani Baker was diagnosed with cancer before she was even born. Her heartbreaking story is just one of the reasons the Build for a Cure project is raising money for vital research into childhood cancer.

Does stay-at-home parenting get better?

Parenting doesn’t ever get easier; the challenges just change. But the challenges of caring for young children definitely lessens as they get older.

Inquest into the short and tragic life of Chloe Valentine

As the first phase of an inquest into the death of Chloe Valentine drew to a close, there was no doubt Chloe's life was marred by appalling neglect.

When mothers kill

The act of killing one's child is unthinkable for most, and a mother who kills her offspring has a special power to inspire shock and revulsion.

6 beauty tips for tired mums

For those of us with young children, eight hours sleep is a distant memory. And while we can’t do much to secure more shut-eye, there are some ways to fake it.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Awkward grandparents

When Grandma and Grandpa pose for a snap with the kids, things can get very weird, very quickly.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.