Jump to content

Starting Daycare


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 archersmumma

Posted 30 March 2012 - 10:31 AM

Hi everyone, my DS (nearly 11 months) is starting his first full day of day care on Monday as I have picked up another day at work (I currently work one day but he gets looked after at our house by family.) I am SO anxious, he has had a couple of orientations and was okay, he cried a little when I left him yesterday but they said he settled quite quickly.

It is more me that I am worried about, like I feel anxious leaving him with "strangers" and feel terrible missing out on things he is doing, stupid I know, my husband doesn't really understand. Anyway just wanting some tips or advice you lovely ladies can give to reduce my anxiety and guilt!

Thanks in advance :

#2 deejie

Posted 30 March 2012 - 11:44 AM

Starting child care is stressful, isn't it! original.gif
I think the biggest thing on the drop off is not to be anxious. Children pick up on our anxiety very easily. Talk happily to your son and don't underestimate the amount he might understand. We are going to childcare, you will have a play, some lunch, a sleep and Mummy will be back to pick you up and take you home. Be cheery and calm. I wouldn't drag out the drop off either. A quick cuddle, cheery wave goodbye and be on your way.

The "strangers" won't be strangers to you and your son for long. I have developed some lovely relationships with DS1's carers. One that looked after him as a baby has babysat for us. Another has had him over to her house for lunch and a play, they got on so well! He will quickly make little friends within his room too and will look forward to seeing them regularly.

It won't be long until your child is settled in, but expect it to take a while if he is only attending one day a week. It will take some time especially to settle in to good sleeping habits at childcare. Most kids are used to sleeping in the peace and quiet of home, not with other children making noise and activity going on around them. DS1 went through various stages of  terrible sleeping and refusing to eat, particularly when he changed rooms as he got bigger. He always came around within a few days.

As for yourself, don't feel like you are missing out. I don't know about your local centre, but the carers are always happy to chat about DS1's day and they also have little portfolios for each of the children with the activities they have done, anectdotes about funny things they did/said, some artwork, photographs etc. I never feel like I am "missing out" because I can easily see what he has been up to. We take the portfolio home at the end of each term.

And lastly, re the guilt. I think a lot of mother "guilt" is guilt we impose on ourselves for no good reason. Despite what you might think from reading posts on EB, I really think the absolute majority of people do not form silent judgements of our parenting. There is no reason to "should" ourselves. I "should" be doing this, I "should" be doing that, I "shouldn't" be doing something else. Whenever I get a case of the self imposed mother-guilts about child care, I focus on all the wonderful fun DS1 has (he often throws tantrums now because he doesn't want to come home, having too much fun!) and the positive impact it has had on his confidence and independence.

#3 archersmumma

Posted 30 March 2012 - 12:31 PM

Thank you so much, that was so helpful original.gif It is true we do put that guilt on ourselves, I am queen of that. I have to remember to be positive and upbeat when dropping him off and save my tears for when I am driving to work lol original.gif

#4 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 01 April 2012 - 11:32 AM

Make sure you hand him over to a specific carer and say "this is so and so, she is going to look after you today".

My centre has a family photo wall where the kids can go and look if they are missing mum and dad.

#5 Juju38

Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:18 PM

It's awful that first day when you hand them over!

I very quickly realised that my DS was having the best time at daycare, so I quickly got over my anxiety around that.  The first day was hard though, so go easy on yourself.

The one thing I hadn't anticipated though that happened to us was my DS got sick straight away.  Just cold/flus, nothing too serious.  He has subsequently been sick each week I have had him in care (four weeks now of only two hours, one day per week).  He had not so much as had a cold prior to starting care.  Our doctor said it is just something he has to go through now that he is being exposed to children in daycare and it will ultimately build immunity, but, if I were you, maybe consider adding some garlic into your DS' diet and watch your own immunity.  My DP and I have been sick too (and we rarely get sick), so we are really concentrating on staying healthy and boosting our own immunity.

I hope your experience is positive and your DS enjoys daycare as much as our does!

#6 archersmumma

Posted 02 April 2012 - 11:28 AM

Well today was the big day of his first day. Last night I was a mess when he went to bed, so silly but I couldn't stop crying! But woke up this morning feeling a lot better which is good because he didn't see me upset. His dad and I both went to drop him off, which was a good support for me. Just watching the clock until lunch time so I can call and see how he is going original.gif



Thanks for the advice and support means a lot, never thought it would be this hard! and good idea about the garlic!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you a parent, or are you planning to be? Tell us what you think and you'll go in the draw to win a $500 gift card!

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

6 tips for transitioning back to work after baby

Mums returning to work - and yes, dads too - aren't the same as when they left. But that doesn't mean they're not as good as they once were.

Couple reveals pregnancy with epic Britney Spears parody

How do you create an original pregnancy announcement and gender reveal? You turn to Britney Spears.

The truth about birthing a big baby

When told that they are having a 'big baby', many women have a lot of fears. But those fears are often unfounded.

Eight months pregnant and addicted to eating soap

This bizarre snack takes the cake (of soap) when it comes to weird pregnancy cravings.

Can you spot the drowning child?

Can you spot him in the video? The child who loses his rubber ring, panics, and then almost drowns? It isn't easy.

Noodles, peanuts, wee wees and lady bits

Yes, I know it's silly. I know all the advice from experts is to use the right terminology from the moment your child can talk. But I just can't.

Mum's brave battle for unborn triplets amid cancer diagnosis

Bree O'Malley has a cancer diagnosis, a rare blood condition, kidney and liver failure and other complications. And she is pregnant with triplets.

 

Win $500

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you are parent or planning to be? We want to know what you think - let us know and you'll be in the draw to win a $500 gift card.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.