Jump to content
5 replies to this topic
Posted 30 March 2012 - 10:31 AM
Hi everyone, my DS (nearly 11 months) is starting his first full day of day care on Monday as I have picked up another day at work (I currently work one day but he gets looked after at our house by family.) I am SO anxious, he has had a couple of orientations and was okay, he cried a little when I left him yesterday but they said he settled quite quickly.
It is more me that I am worried about, like I feel anxious leaving him with "strangers" and feel terrible missing out on things he is doing, stupid I know, my husband doesn't really understand. Anyway just wanting some tips or advice you lovely ladies can give to reduce my anxiety and guilt!
Thanks in advance :
Posted 30 March 2012 - 11:44 AM
Starting child care is stressful, isn't it!
I think the biggest thing on the drop off is not to be anxious. Children pick up on our anxiety very easily. Talk happily to your son and don't underestimate the amount he might understand. We are going to childcare, you will have a play, some lunch, a sleep and Mummy will be back to pick you up and take you home. Be cheery and calm. I wouldn't drag out the drop off either. A quick cuddle, cheery wave goodbye and be on your way.
The "strangers" won't be strangers to you and your son for long. I have developed some lovely relationships with DS1's carers. One that looked after him as a baby has babysat for us. Another has had him over to her house for lunch and a play, they got on so well! He will quickly make little friends within his room too and will look forward to seeing them regularly.
It won't be long until your child is settled in, but expect it to take a while if he is only attending one day a week. It will take some time especially to settle in to good sleeping habits at childcare. Most kids are used to sleeping in the peace and quiet of home, not with other children making noise and activity going on around them. DS1 went through various stages of terrible sleeping and refusing to eat, particularly when he changed rooms as he got bigger. He always came around within a few days.
As for yourself, don't feel like you are missing out. I don't know about your local centre, but the carers are always happy to chat about DS1's day and they also have little portfolios for each of the children with the activities they have done, anectdotes about funny things they did/said, some artwork, photographs etc. I never feel like I am "missing out" because I can easily see what he has been up to. We take the portfolio home at the end of each term.
And lastly, re the guilt. I think a lot of mother "guilt" is guilt we impose on ourselves for no good reason. Despite what you might think from reading posts on EB, I really think the absolute majority of people do not form silent judgements of our parenting. There is no reason to "should" ourselves. I "should" be doing this, I "should" be doing that, I "shouldn't" be doing something else. Whenever I get a case of the self imposed mother-guilts about child care, I focus on all the wonderful fun DS1 has (he often throws tantrums now because he doesn't want to come home, having too much fun!) and the positive impact it has had on his confidence and independence.
Posted 30 March 2012 - 12:31 PM
Thank you so much, that was so helpful It is true we do put that guilt on ourselves, I am queen of that. I have to remember to be positive and upbeat when dropping him off and save my tears for when I am driving to work lol
Posted 01 April 2012 - 11:32 AM
Make sure you hand him over to a specific carer and say "this is so and so, she is going to look after you today".
My centre has a family photo wall where the kids can go and look if they are missing mum and dad.
Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:18 PM
It's awful that first day when you hand them over!
I very quickly realised that my DS was having the best time at daycare, so I quickly got over my anxiety around that. The first day was hard though, so go easy on yourself.
The one thing I hadn't anticipated though that happened to us was my DS got sick straight away. Just cold/flus, nothing too serious. He has subsequently been sick each week I have had him in care (four weeks now of only two hours, one day per week). He had not so much as had a cold prior to starting care. Our doctor said it is just something he has to go through now that he is being exposed to children in daycare and it will ultimately build immunity, but, if I were you, maybe consider adding some garlic into your DS' diet and watch your own immunity. My DP and I have been sick too (and we rarely get sick), so we are really concentrating on staying healthy and boosting our own immunity.
I hope your experience is positive and your DS enjoys daycare as much as our does!
Posted 02 April 2012 - 11:28 AM
Well today was the big day of his first day. Last night I was a mess when he went to bed, so silly but I couldn't stop crying! But woke up this morning feeling a lot better which is good because he didn't see me upset. His dad and I both went to drop him off, which was a good support for me. Just watching the clock until lunch time so I can call and see how he is going
Thanks for the advice and support means a lot, never thought it would be this hard! and good idea about the garlic!
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.
I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.
There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.
The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.
More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.
A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.
There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.
Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.
Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.
Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.
Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.
Sheryl Sandberg's advice
Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.
The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.
For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.
Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.
The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.
We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?
A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.
Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?
Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.
The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!
If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.
It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.
When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?
Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.
Top 5 Articles
Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.
A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.
Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.
With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!
Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.
There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.
When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.
A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.
Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.
If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.
According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.
Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.
Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.
An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.
A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
Sign up now!
Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.