Jump to content

Dilemma
Please help...


  • Please log in to reply
38 replies to this topic

#26 Crodka

Posted 26 March 2012 - 02:39 PM

You dont need to tell them anything. I dont ask people how they delivered and I really hope people dont tell all the gory details anyway.
I would only ask my very best friend reason for a caesar.

#27 lynneyours

Posted 26 March 2012 - 02:51 PM

QUOTE (Cacti @ 25/03/2012, 07:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
C&H, just because someone asks doesn't mean you need to tell them. If they ask why you had the caesar, I'd say, "The doctors thought it was the best option, and we agreed" and say nothing further.


I like this advice.  Just announce the birth as normal - no mention of how.  ie
we are proud to announce the safe arrival of (name) on (date/time), weighing (x) etc.  Mum and baby both doing well.  


If people ask WHY you had a caesar, you could just say "why do you want to know?"  It is a pretty rude question.

#28 CEJCEJ

Posted 26 March 2012 - 02:56 PM

QUOTE (Cacti @ 25/03/2012, 05:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
C&H, just because someone asks doesn't mean you need to tell them. If they ask why you had the caesar, I'd say, "The doctors thought it was the best option, and we agreed" and say nothing further.



Words of wisdom. If they press just remember is is nothing but idle gossip to them.

#29 countrychic29

Posted 26 March 2012 - 03:45 PM

Hi OP, i too suffer from VVS and have suffered at varying degrees over the last 8 years. Finally at a stage where it is not nearly as painful (but as you know we just seem to live with it) we just decided to TTC and low and behold now almost 5 weeks pregnant after one month.
So i have the same dilemma, go natural and risk being back at square one. Or Elective which i'm leaning towards...i will be going with the breech version i think original.gif or just telling no one and say it was an emergency due to labour not progressing shrug.gif
I wish you all the best OP and please dont worry about anyone else but yourself and your baby.  good luck biggrin.gif

#30 Stephvfr

Posted 26 March 2012 - 04:30 PM

My sister told people that she had a narrow pelvis and that's why she had to have a c-section. (I couldn't believe it as she is not a petite lady). Turns out just elective... and I say each to their own, especially after 2 natural births original.gif

I think saying due to a medical condition would be fine. I can't imagine people asking you to go into details. Or even "it was better for everyone" and leave it at that.

#31 Cluckyandhopeful

Posted 27 March 2012 - 01:29 PM

QUOTE (cardamom @ 26/03/2012, 02:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Clucky, thank you for your offer of a PM, I'm trying to send one but the system doesn't seem to be working for me sad.gif I'll contact mods now, and hopefully be able to message you tomorrow, if that's okay!


It's completely okay!! Let me know how you go with the mods biggrin.gif

#32 Cluckyandhopeful

Posted 27 March 2012 - 01:31 PM

QUOTE (spersephone @ 26/03/2012, 02:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have this as well, but didn't have a Caesarean.  However, perhaps if I did, it wouldn't be such an issue for me now.  I wouldn't be telling anyone, I certainly haven't gone out of my way to tell people that my sex life is crap because it hurts so much, that I simply "put up" with it and get nothing out of it myself.

I think it depends on who you're talking to, and whether there is honestly any reason to disclose this to them.  Otherwise, just say it's been recommended by your doctor due to another medical condition you have.


Hi spersephone, sorry to hear that you also have this issue. Do you mind me asking how your experience was with giving birth naturally?

I hope you are feeling better and getting the treatment that you need.

#33 Escapin

Posted 27 March 2012 - 01:37 PM

I'm with the PPs who say not to tell anyone beforehand what your plan is. When people ask, you can just say 'whatever is best for me and the baby'. Congratulations BTW original.gif

#34 Cluckyandhopeful

Posted 27 March 2012 - 01:41 PM

Sorry for my many posts, I'm still not sure how to quote more than once in the same post?!

I just wanted to say thank you SO much for all of your comments, it has meant the world to me. And to those fellow VVS sufferers and the like, many thanks for being brave enough to step forward and share your experiences. I have felt so alone with this condition and I hope we can help each other out in the future! I hope you are all doing well in this journey and that you are getting the treatment, love and attention that you deserve. I'm always here if you ladies need a vent.

~A Poetic Winter~ - I'm so sorry to hear that your tear with the birth of your DS brought on so much pain. I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better. It sounds like you are pregnant again? (sorry was just assuming when you said you were planning for the next one to be a natural birth?) If you are, I wish you all the best with it all and I hope it's a beautiful experience for you.

countrychic29 - congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you are having an amazing experience and that the pain has been close to non existent. It sounds like you are doing well with it though, I too have struggled with it but have managed the pain very well considering! Good luck with your decision in terms of the birth, I hope this thread has helped you also!!

xxx

#35 spersephone

Posted 27 March 2012 - 01:49 PM

QUOTE (Cluckyandhopeful @ 27/03/2012, 02:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Do you mind me asking how your experience was with giving birth naturally?


I think mine is somewhat psychological.  I enjoyed most of my three births, but I really really really really really hated the pushing.  I felt like I was going to tear apart.  I did tear, and that was fine, it healed well.  It turns out that the tear has not left any sort of damage which might explain my issue.

A gynaecologist gave me some cortisone like cream to use which has helped slightly, but basically the moment anything goes near that area, I'm tense and it hurts.  Because it hurts, I don't relax, and I certainly can't get in the mood.

It's been going on since my last baby, but I had it to some extent since my first in 1996, periods of it on and off.  

So it's been 3 1/2 years so far, and all I can do is hope that one day it gets better.


#36 Cluckyandhopeful

Posted 28 March 2012 - 09:54 AM

QUOTE (spersephone @ 27/03/2012, 02:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think mine is somewhat psychological.  I enjoyed most of my three births, but I really really really really really hated the pushing.  I felt like I was going to tear apart.  I did tear, and that was fine, it healed well.  It turns out that the tear has not left any sort of damage which might explain my issue.

A gynaecologist gave me some cortisone like cream to use which has helped slightly, but basically the moment anything goes near that area, I'm tense and it hurts.  Because it hurts, I don't relax, and I certainly can't get in the mood.

It's been going on since my last baby, but I had it to some extent since my first in 1996, periods of it on and off.  

So it's been 3 1/2 years so far, and all I can do is hope that one day it gets better.


Hi spersephone, thank you so much for responding. I can completely understand about the pushing, it's something that I have always been worried about as well. I'm so happy to hear that your tear healed well, this is something that I worry about too with having this condition.

If you don't mind me asking, have you been officially diagnosed yet?

I have undertaken treatment for VVS and have felt SO much better. Because of this I have been able to resume a much more 'normal' sex life. I don't know how I'll be after our baby is born, but I now have the tools to try and manage the pain. I have tried the creams, ointments and numbing gel but never found these to help over a long term period. The treatment I have been having has helped with the source of the pain.

Am more than happy to PM you with more details if you're interested? Of course I don't mean to pry, so please don't feel like you have to answer! I understand this condition can be very tricky and it's very private  original.gif

#37 spersephone

Posted 28 March 2012 - 10:03 AM

Yes, I went to a specialist, who confirmed that there is no physical problem, as I had hoped was the simple answer. So now I just get on with my life and wait to see if it gets better one day.

#38 PrincessPeach

Posted 28 March 2012 - 10:17 AM

Came in through recent topics, but just some info to help with any sticky beack questions - my aunt ended up having a c/s because her waters had broken & labour had not started (even with drugs) after 24 hours.

Also my friend's litlle boy decided he wasn't going to engage after breaking her waters. Turns out his foot was stuck in her ribs & his cord was wrapped around his neck & body 3 times. Her ob was glad they decided to go the c/s route.

#39 crankybee

Posted 28 March 2012 - 10:22 AM

I didn't tell the world I had a C section...my immediate family knew but it wasn't any one else's business. I would just say as was recommeded by others here - that it was the recommendation from the OB and "it's a long story" and not one you want to go into...




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

'I had a lotus birth and I loved it'

Lotus birthing is not all that common, but for a number of women it feels like the most natural thing to do.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Is your family's car part of the world's biggest safety recall?

More than 50 million vehicles recalled for potentially lethal airbag fault - is your car affected?

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

Mother-in-law faceplants during proposal

He had it all planned: a romantic proposal on a windswept beach. The whole family would be there so they'd all be able to celebrate the joyous moment together.

A preschooler suddenly goes mute - and it's not just shyness

When our son stopped talking, our sense of loss was painful and acute.

The mums who ask for a 'wife bonus'

They run their homes like domestic CEOs and work tirelessly to improve their family's social standing. And now, according to a new book, they want an annual perk from their husbands.

Woman shares photo of dimple on breast to warn others of cancer risk

A widely-shared Facebook photograph of a British woman's breast has raised awareness of a more subtle breast cancer symptom.

Starting a family despite a low sperm count

"I'd never really failed a test - how could I fail this particularly manly test?"

It's official: we must better protect our kids from toxic lead exposure

New guidelines have been released, aimed at reducing children's harmful exposure to lead. But they still don't go far enough.

Trouble-shooting toddler social skills

Chances are your toddler's behaviour is all completely normal - but here's how to tackle some common social problems.

Helping your first-born welcome a sibling

We did sigh with joy at the arrival of a royal princess - but, mostly, we sighed with pity at the sight of Prince George being taken to meet her.

Farewell, daytime nap

I've been in denial and I'm not too proud to beg, but it appears I must accept the fact that you have gone. I need to let you go.

The identical triplets who are one in 50 million

The father of identical triplets born in a Texas hospital says his three daughters, including conjoined twins, are "a miracle" sent by God.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.