Jump to content

Man only zones


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:32 PM

DH has a couple of rooms that are designated man only  wink.gif Does anyone else do this? Anyway I want to organise them a bit better as they end up dumping zones for all of his man stuff (which is part of the reason he's allocated the space in the first place) and he's getting twitchy. Any suggestions how to "help" him? He's happy for these spaces to get a thorough clean every now and then (they get really grotty), but he's not so happy if I ask him up front. IMO there's little difference but I think it's more respectful to ask him up front. It's just that he gets agitated at the thought, whereas if it just happens then he appears to love it rolleyes.gif  Yes he's weird and it's the quirkiness that I love but WWYD?

#2 LambChop

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:38 PM

Maybe Ikea storage things ?  Kind of like those tool walls with the shape of the tool drawn on them that men seem to need in the garage, a unit thing with designated spaces for 'stuff'

#3 virtuallotus

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:39 PM

My respect flies out the window when there is dirt and mess involved, and I don't care if he feels like he is being disrespected, I really don't have the patience to tip toe around someone elses ego. Pick up your sh*t and put it away. Part of being a functional adult and living in a shared household.  original.gif  Although, we do have somewhere to put things. His army gear belongs in the large closet in the spare room, bike and gear in the garage, etc etc. Thankfully, it's not much of an issue, because mess bugs he hell out of me.

#4 BetteBoop

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:40 PM

DH has a sound proof music room.

It's a festy man-cave. I don't go inside which suits both of us just fine.

#5 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:41 PM

Thanks for the suggestions LambChop. I'm clear about how to organise the space, just dealing with the ego is (as virtuallotus has mentioned) is what I'm not so sure about. I have moments where a hissy fit seems to be the only appropriate response but he's a delicate thing unsure.gif and that isn't the best method for us biggrin.gif

#6 a4anna

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:48 PM

I would just do it and deal with it later.

Saying that though, we have a different dynamic at our place. If DH complains i tell him i'll sell his toys and it quickly get's done.


#7 LambChop

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:00 PM

My advice then is... close the door original.gif  Problem out of sight.

#8 Acidulous Osprey

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:01 PM

I organise and tidy his cupboards and his room once a year.  If he gets upset, too effing bad.  He gets fair warning that he is approaching maximum chaos and it needs sorting.

He also has major organisational issues and attentional issues and stuff goes invisible to him so I just see it as a support issue that I go in there and do stuff.

I don't toss stuff though.  Hilariously he has still got the piles of paper from the last 3 sort outs under his bed awaiting his attention.

So, yeah, I go the blunt, dude, this needs doing route.  He hates it either way.

#9 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:08 PM

Oh I'm hearing you F&E. I'm always asking "can't you see the mess?". He cleans up around the mess - even in the main parts of the house that are more communal.

I wouldn't extend to tossing either, but his parents yesterday offered him yet more boxes of university notes from over 15 years ago! It seems like an endless task that his family are feeding. He won't throw out anything sad.gif Mind you his parents are hoarders as well and are constantly boasting about the stuff they've had for 40+ years so it's a tricky one. He even pulled out a burnt out candle jar I'd tossed into recycling the other day. I feel like I'm constantly putting the same things in the bins. He has a special attachment to Jalna yoghurt tubs and Homer Hudson ice cream containers. Hopefully I've weaned him off buying the Jalna for a while.

Edited by Buy Me A Pony !, 14 March 2012 - 04:10 PM.


#10 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:19 PM

i was oomg.gif at the university notes. They've moved house twice since he finished university. wacko.gif  I thought EVERYONE tossed them on graduation unsure.gif Mind you his dad won't throw out his own university text books which he dragged across the Tasman over 30 years ago.

Is there a hoarding gene? I'm hoping to switch it off in all of our offspring as I've seen the problems it can create.

#11 niggles

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:22 PM

DH doesn't have a room anymore (it's gone from man cave to baby boy cave) but he does have a corner of our bedroom and a man wardrobe. I'm in the midst of a 3 month stand off of requests that he please find room in his wardrobe for his clothes. But no, I just keep piling the folded washing on top of last weeks pile. It's one step forward as he wears it and then two steps back on wash day.

Every now and then I take the whole pile and shove it into the wardrobe and shut the door. That pile has recently spilled onto the floor so that the door no longer closes.

He just has no interest whatsoever. I reckon it will take another 3 months. The most helpful thing for me is to learn to let it go. It's not my problem. It's not in my control. Yes it's a pain but no I do not want to clean up after my busy but more than capable husband. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out.

#12 Spring Chickadee

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:31 PM

DH has the shed and carport as his man areas. It was literally overflowing with junk. We couldn't park any of our cars undercover, valuable power tool were just sitting around and he was buying things as he couldn't find the one's we already owned. it was driving me batty.

I organised a decent amount of cabinets and storage shelves work was tossing and had DH pick them up on his way home from work. Then I said 'I'll help you clean it every afternoon for 1 hour until it's done starting next week' I think the idea of me going through all his stuff and complaining about how much crap there is scared him off enough and he ended up doing in all himself one night i was working late (over 6 hours). looks great and if it starts to get messy i go and ask him for everything left out 'when did you buy this, don't you already have a similar one, what a rip off, you should Ebay it, where does it belong, why do you put it there' He knows I'm just grilling him but it's annoying as hell so he puts the stuff away when he sees me circling  dev (6).gif

#13 Alacritous~Andy

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:33 PM

My DH is slowly taking over the whole house with his crap.  The most annoying thing is, that he loves being in an organised space, he just won't do it himself.  Eg.  We have a separate downstairs area (external stair access).  I was starting my Masters, so decided to clean and paint it (and buy nice desk and rug etc) to turn it into a dedicated study.  DH fell in love with it, and next thing you know has started working from home, and declared it his office!  

(Thing is, he does work full-time from home, and needs the space now, so it doesn't make sense for me to claim it back as I am now finished aforementioned Masters).  

The office part of downstairs that I organised remains beautifully organised.  The rest of the downstairs area is a foot deep pile of crap over the entire floor spamce.  I tried to talk DH into buying aome storage cupboards, but he says we have no where to put them. *facepalm*

#14 hamiriver

Posted 14 March 2012 - 05:15 PM

If they "his rooms" then I wouldnt even bother about it, until one day you see rats or a strange vapour seeping under the door..

The other thing is if he doesnt want it organised then why do it?  I prefer to organise my own stuff. If I said No and my DH came in and did it, then yes it would bug me. Not worth the fight or aggro just because one person likes it clean. As long as his stuff doesnt come out into the rest of the house.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you a parent, or are you planning to be? Tell us what you think and you'll go in the draw to win a $500 gift card!

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

6 tips for transitioning back to work after baby

Mums returning to work - and yes, dads too - aren't the same as when they left. But that doesn't mean they're not as good as they once were.

Couple reveals pregnancy with epic Britney Spears parody

How do you create an original pregnancy announcement and gender reveal? You turn to Britney Spears.

The truth about birthing a big baby

When told that they are having a 'big baby', many women have a lot of fears. But those fears are often unfounded.

Eight months pregnant and addicted to eating soap

This bizarre snack takes the cake (of soap) when it comes to weird pregnancy cravings.

Can you spot the drowning child?

Can you spot him in the video? The child who loses his rubber ring, panics, and then almost drowns? It isn't easy.

Noodles, peanuts, wee wees and lady bits

Yes, I know it's silly. I know all the advice from experts is to use the right terminology from the moment your child can talk. But I just can't.

Mum's brave battle for unborn triplets amid cancer diagnosis

Bree O'Malley has a cancer diagnosis, a rare blood condition, kidney and liver failure and other complications. And she is pregnant with triplets.

 

Win $500

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you are parent or planning to be? We want to know what you think - let us know and you'll be in the draw to win a $500 gift card.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.