Jump to content

Man only zones


  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:32 PM

DH has a couple of rooms that are designated man only  wink.gif Does anyone else do this? Anyway I want to organise them a bit better as they end up dumping zones for all of his man stuff (which is part of the reason he's allocated the space in the first place) and he's getting twitchy. Any suggestions how to "help" him? He's happy for these spaces to get a thorough clean every now and then (they get really grotty), but he's not so happy if I ask him up front. IMO there's little difference but I think it's more respectful to ask him up front. It's just that he gets agitated at the thought, whereas if it just happens then he appears to love it rolleyes.gif  Yes he's weird and it's the quirkiness that I love but WWYD?

#2 LambChop

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:38 PM

Maybe Ikea storage things ?  Kind of like those tool walls with the shape of the tool drawn on them that men seem to need in the garage, a unit thing with designated spaces for 'stuff'

#3 virtuallotus

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:39 PM

My respect flies out the window when there is dirt and mess involved, and I don't care if he feels like he is being disrespected, I really don't have the patience to tip toe around someone elses ego. Pick up your sh*t and put it away. Part of being a functional adult and living in a shared household.  original.gif  Although, we do have somewhere to put things. His army gear belongs in the large closet in the spare room, bike and gear in the garage, etc etc. Thankfully, it's not much of an issue, because mess bugs he hell out of me.

#4 BetteBoop

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:40 PM

DH has a sound proof music room.

It's a festy man-cave. I don't go inside which suits both of us just fine.

#5 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:41 PM

Thanks for the suggestions LambChop. I'm clear about how to organise the space, just dealing with the ego is (as virtuallotus has mentioned) is what I'm not so sure about. I have moments where a hissy fit seems to be the only appropriate response but he's a delicate thing unsure.gif and that isn't the best method for us biggrin.gif

#6 a4anna

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:48 PM

I would just do it and deal with it later.

Saying that though, we have a different dynamic at our place. If DH complains i tell him i'll sell his toys and it quickly get's done.


#7 Lady Garden

Posted 14 March 2012 - 03:55 PM

A couple of rooms? Wow, he is very fortunate. I don't think it's too much to ask he keeps them clean, and if he doesn't then it's not really your fault that you need to go in there once in a while.

It's really up to him, whether he does what's required or not.

My DH gets to keep his hockey stuff in the shed. Our house is just too small for us to have anything but shared zones, which belong to all of us.

#8 LambChop

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:00 PM

My advice then is... close the door original.gif  Problem out of sight.

#9 Feral Nicety

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:01 PM

I organise and tidy his cupboards and his room once a year.  If he gets upset, too effing bad.  He gets fair warning that he is approaching maximum chaos and it needs sorting.

He also has major organisational issues and attentional issues and stuff goes invisible to him so I just see it as a support issue that I go in there and do stuff.

I don't toss stuff though.  Hilariously he has still got the piles of paper from the last 3 sort outs under his bed awaiting his attention.

So, yeah, I go the blunt, dude, this needs doing route.  He hates it either way.

#10 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:08 PM

Oh I'm hearing you F&E. I'm always asking "can't you see the mess?". He cleans up around the mess - even in the main parts of the house that are more communal.

I wouldn't extend to tossing either, but his parents yesterday offered him yet more boxes of university notes from over 15 years ago! It seems like an endless task that his family are feeding. He won't throw out anything sad.gif Mind you his parents are hoarders as well and are constantly boasting about the stuff they've had for 40+ years so it's a tricky one. He even pulled out a burnt out candle jar I'd tossed into recycling the other day. I feel like I'm constantly putting the same things in the bins. He has a special attachment to Jalna yoghurt tubs and Homer Hudson ice cream containers. Hopefully I've weaned him off buying the Jalna for a while.

Edited by Buy Me A Pony !, 14 March 2012 - 04:10 PM.


#11 Lady Garden

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:13 PM

Man that is tough! Jalna yoghurt containers!

In this case what I've done is to move stuff into the shed, and if he doesn't ask for it within two years, it magically disappears during the day when he is at work*.

If he ever wants such-and-such item (that was disposed of years ago) I just pretend it was lost. He loses interest pretty quickly.

*University notes would fall into that category. School photos and personal items would not.

#12 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:19 PM

i was oomg.gif at the university notes. They've moved house twice since he finished university. wacko.gif  I thought EVERYONE tossed them on graduation unsure.gif Mind you his dad won't throw out his own university text books which he dragged across the Tasman over 30 years ago.

Is there a hoarding gene? I'm hoping to switch it off in all of our offspring as I've seen the problems it can create.

#13 niggles

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:22 PM

DH doesn't have a room anymore (it's gone from man cave to baby boy cave) but he does have a corner of our bedroom and a man wardrobe. I'm in the midst of a 3 month stand off of requests that he please find room in his wardrobe for his clothes. But no, I just keep piling the folded washing on top of last weeks pile. It's one step forward as he wears it and then two steps back on wash day.

Every now and then I take the whole pile and shove it into the wardrobe and shut the door. That pile has recently spilled onto the floor so that the door no longer closes.

He just has no interest whatsoever. I reckon it will take another 3 months. The most helpful thing for me is to learn to let it go. It's not my problem. It's not in my control. Yes it's a pain but no I do not want to clean up after my busy but more than capable husband. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out.

#14 Lady Garden

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:25 PM

QUOTE (Buy Me A Pony ! @ 14/03/2012, 05:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Mind you his dad won't throw out his own university text books which he dragged across the Tasman over 30 years ago.

LOL my parents only threw out their collection of New World encyclopedia at Christmas.

#15 Spring Chickadee

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:31 PM

DH has the shed and carport as his man areas. It was literally overflowing with junk. We couldn't park any of our cars undercover, valuable power tool were just sitting around and he was buying things as he couldn't find the one's we already owned. it was driving me batty.

I organised a decent amount of cabinets and storage shelves work was tossing and had DH pick them up on his way home from work. Then I said 'I'll help you clean it every afternoon for 1 hour until it's done starting next week' I think the idea of me going through all his stuff and complaining about how much crap there is scared him off enough and he ended up doing in all himself one night i was working late (over 6 hours). looks great and if it starts to get messy i go and ask him for everything left out 'when did you buy this, don't you already have a similar one, what a rip off, you should Ebay it, where does it belong, why do you put it there' He knows I'm just grilling him but it's annoying as hell so he puts the stuff away when he sees me circling  dev (6).gif

#16 Alacritous~Andy

Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:33 PM

My DH is slowly taking over the whole house with his crap.  The most annoying thing is, that he loves being in an organised space, he just won't do it himself.  Eg.  We have a separate downstairs area (external stair access).  I was starting my Masters, so decided to clean and paint it (and buy nice desk and rug etc) to turn it into a dedicated study.  DH fell in love with it, and next thing you know has started working from home, and declared it his office!  

(Thing is, he does work full-time from home, and needs the space now, so it doesn't make sense for me to claim it back as I am now finished aforementioned Masters).  

The office part of downstairs that I organised remains beautifully organised.  The rest of the downstairs area is a foot deep pile of crap over the entire floor spamce.  I tried to talk DH into buying aome storage cupboards, but he says we have no where to put them. *facepalm*

#17 hamiriver

Posted 14 March 2012 - 05:15 PM

If they "his rooms" then I wouldnt even bother about it, until one day you see rats or a strange vapour seeping under the door..

The other thing is if he doesnt want it organised then why do it?  I prefer to organise my own stuff. If I said No and my DH came in and did it, then yes it would bug me. Not worth the fight or aggro just because one person likes it clean. As long as his stuff doesnt come out into the rest of the house.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Christina Aguilera announces daughter's name

Christina Aguilera and her fiance, Matt Rutler, have welcomed their daughter into the world.

Couple caught in surrogacy crackdown

An Australian couple caught up in Thailand's surrogacy crackdown have said many parents are distraught and facing dire financial difficulties as are they are unable to bring their surrogate-born babies home.

'Tired' mum dies of undiagnosed diabetes

New mum Nicky Rigby thought her exhaustion was due to the demands of looking after her baby. But the 26-year-old was seriously ill with diabetes, and died due to her condition not being diagnosed.

5 co-sleeping myths busted

In case you are co-sleeping with your baby, and all the ?helpful? advice from others is sending you down the slippery slope of self-doubt, let?s bust a few myths on the topic.

When pregnancy takes you down memory lane

One mum-to-be discovers pregnancy hormones can give rise to some surprising emotions.

What?s your love language?

The secret to making your partner feel special is to know which language of love they favour ? and it?s the same for your kids, too.

Returning to exercise after a caesarean

I had my daughter four months ago via caesarean, and I want to get back into exercise. What are some good first steps I can take?

20 signs of a great relationship

The secret to a perfect relationship is admitting you are wrong after an argument, five kisses a day and sex twice a week, a new survey suggests.

Video: emotional 60-second Robin Williams tribute

Take a minute to remember some of the greatest films of your childhood ... and have a few tissues close at hand.

The realities of escaping domestic violence

?Why doesn?t she just leave?? is the common question people ask when trying to understand domestic violence. For many, leaving the relationship is far from straightforward.

Home truths: the DIY dos and don'ts

A professional renovator gives advice on which jobs you should do yourself, and which you should outsource.

Parenting lessons I?ve yet to learn

Instead of writing about the stuff I do know since becoming a mum, I thought I'd share some of the things I don't. These are the lessons that motherhood hasn't taught me.

Will I be wrecked 'down there' after birth?

Did you worry about how you would look "down there" after giving birth? This mum-to-be found plenty of women willing to share their knowledge.

The new weekend playgroup for working mums

Playgroups are great for kids and parents alike - but the downside is that they often meet during the week, leaving working mums out of the loop.

Letting your toddler be the boss at bedtime

Sick of spending hours trying to get your toddler to sleep? These experts say giving your child more of a say at bedtime might be the answer.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

Consulting 'Dr Google' when you're pregnant

We're all guilty of turning to the internet for a quick answer when we need medical advice, but Dr Google should be approached with caution - especially when you're pregnant.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

Chinese manufacturers tap into the cute factor with tree-grown babies.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.