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What to tell?

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#1 stephkp

Posted 11 March 2012 - 06:46 PM

Hi, I have become pregnant using a sperm donor (yay! I am single and late 30s). I hadnt quite worked out what I was going to tell people because I am quite private but didnt really want people to think I went out for endless one night stands. I get the impression a friend at work has let it slip I conceived using a donor. I'm obviously not ashamed of this fact, but am not sure how I feel about everybody knowing - especially if some tactless people start to ask me personal questions. I just want to know how other single mums or couples may have dealt with this situation.
Thanks, Steph

#2 ali27

Posted 11 March 2012 - 07:02 PM

I haven't been in that situation, but I would be inclined to just tell people the truth. That way there is no misunderstandings or innuendos. It might be a bit confronting but would save people inventing stories. Best wishes for the pregnancy and birth.

#3 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 11 March 2012 - 07:05 PM

I don't belong here and saw this in recent topics.

A woman in my MG is a single mum with now two kids conceived using a donor. She was very up front and told the truth and just answered any questions (did you know the donor, do you get to sue for child support, what do you tell the kids about their Dad...and that was all from one very interested mother! I can only imagine what her family asked her).

Most people I know are very open and fine about anything like this, especially if you've been single for a while and the alternative *thought* is constant one night stands (especially unprotected ones!)

In the situation of work I'd tell them if they ask but wouldn't volunteer the info.

Congratulations, enjoy original.gif

#4 Kay1

Posted 12 March 2012 - 06:35 AM


One of my friends did this and she just told everyone up front. original.gif Her donor was a friend as well but not someone we know.

Edited by Kay1, 12 March 2012 - 06:41 AM.

#5 kazzil

Posted 12 March 2012 - 07:04 AM


We just told everyone up front too. We wanted no secrets and for people close to us, we were clear what we wanted the kids to be told should they talk about it with them eg he is a donor, not a dad.

#6 louisem

Posted 12 March 2012 - 08:37 AM

Congratulations - I had donor eggs and I tell people if it comes up, but I don't feel a need to tell everyone. It's personal although wonderful, it's your business not others.
I found a mix of responses but generally I've had wonderful support and absolutely no regrets.
All the best and enjoy it all

#7 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 12 March 2012 - 06:29 PM

Hi Steph, congratulations.   I'm in the same situation as you.  My son is 5 months.  I just tell everyone the truth and answer their questions.  I figured it was good practice for being matter of fact and natural about it when it comes time to discuss it with my son.  Everyone (even fuddy duddy old partners at my law firm) was really excited and supportive.  It was important to me for my family and friends to understand it was something I'd thought deeply about and planned in detail.

Best question "meggs, is your baby going to be Chinese?"
"um no, I don't think so, why do you ask"
"because then he"ll be really good at school and get a scholarship, and save you so much money"
"right, it doesn't really work like that".


Edited by meggs1, 12 March 2012 - 06:30 PM.

#8 gemgirl

Posted 21 March 2012 - 12:18 PM

QUOTE (Kay1 @ 12/03/2012, 07:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

One of my friends did this and she just told everyone up front. original.gif Her donor was a friend as well but not someone we know.

Ditto, but an unknown donor. She said she had no negative comments, in fact a lot of women asked her all about it, keen to do it themselves original.gif

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